Closure Is Bullshit

coin_pwr · 2018-11-19T17:43:19+00:00

If she wants to break up, walk away, don't look back, and keep your head up. Any woman that truly wants you, will not make things difficult. Life's too short to want to be with someone that's unsure about you.

RunawayGrain · 2018-11-19T16:36:09+00:00

Closure is usually just her trying to find a way to pin the failure of the relationship on you.

yeahiamhere · 2018-11-19T16:59:45+00:00

I haven’t contacted my ex since since 3 months. But I was getting weak my brain was rationalising that it was not wrong to contact her. May be she was missing me too and she will come back. This post woke me up again, as I was going again into my beta mode. Thank you.

DeontologicalSanders · 2018-11-19T17:29:48+00:00

Reading this makes me cringe at myself.

There have been many times in my life where a woman contacted me after a break-up for "closure", and I responded with anger, or sadness, or explanation, or trying to win her back.

She's only ever there for herself. To deflect the blame for the break-up and failure of the relationship off of herself, and onto you. She doesn't give a shit about you anymore; if she did, she would still be fucking you.

The only good response is no response. Anything else validates her. Anything else shows that you're still invested.

Walk the fuck away.

MrCongeniality1 · 2018-11-19T17:48:11+00:00

You can fail in a lot of ways and end up in a miserable LTR, but a woman won't actually leave you if she thinks you will immediately forget about her. Feeling replaceable is an existential crises for them. Always project that you are totally fine with ending any relationship that is no longer working for either person for whatever reason.

vullnet123 · 2018-11-19T17:12:44+00:00

My ex broke up with me because she "rushed into a relationship and wants to be alone" AKA " I want go go out with other guys without worrying about you". I tried asking a bit when she texted and dumped me, but there was no point because I could tell she was just giving me BS answers.

mallardcove · 2018-11-19T19:12:12+00:00

I think many of us are guilty, even post taking the red pill, myself included, of trying to negotiate and reason and argue with a girl after she breaks it off with you.

Here is the thing. When a girl decides to break it off with you, there is a 99.9% chance that she has made up her mind for good and nothing will change her mind. She has already desexualized you and moved on. She is no longer attracted. No force in the world will get her back with you. You can go lift, gain 50 pounds of pure muscle and look like a greek god giga chad and she still won't see you "that way". Period.

The problem is, most of you faggots who read this will think you are apart of that 0.1% in which she does change her mind because you are stricken with oneitis. You aren't going to listen to me and you won't accept the fact you have a better chance of winning the lottery. But if you do want to reason with her, argue with her, negotiate with her, try to win her back after she breaks it off, give it at least 72 hours until you say ANYTHING to her. Once she tells you its over in some form or fashion, go silent. At the very most, say "OK" and act like you have moved on as well. Then, after 72 hours have passed, and you want to go for that slim chance of being able to reason your way back in, go ahead, but just realize you have astronomical odds.

The 72 hour rule isn't so much in that it will raise your odds, its that when a girl breaks it off with you, she wants to see you melt down. She wants to see you be emotionally affected and disraught. That way she gets her closure, seeing you act a total fool, and then she can tell herself "See? I made the right choice. Look at this pathetic weak whiny bitch".

By going dead silent after she breaks it off, she doesn't get that closure and satisfaction. It will drive her nuts. By going silent it makes you look like you gave no fucks and put no value on her. This will drive her mad and I guarantee she will try to keep reaching out to you to get that closure. That's why silence is the best weapon here, not negotiating and reasoning. If you do choose to engage with her if she reaches back out to you after you go silent on her, be very stoic. Act like you aren't affected at all and she poses no value for you. Then you have leverage.

Again I repeat - the 72 hour rule IS NOT A POWER PLAY TO TRY AND WIN HER BACK. Its there to not give her the satisfaction of closure.

BacardiRazz1 · 2018-11-19T17:38:34+00:00

My oneitis hit me with the "i really like you.... just not THAT way yet" and bluepill me thought i still had a chance lol. Great reminder

ReefaShark · 2018-11-19T16:03:44+00:00

Great succinct post. Feed ‘em scraps.

MentORPHEUS · 2018-11-19T20:56:45+00:00

"Closure" in a therapy context is usually the therapist trying to make 1-2 more paying appointments past the point the patient feels they have "gone sane" and don't need the therapist any more.

In a relationship context, it's usually a manifestation of seller's remorse. They initiated a breakup, or misbehaved badly enough to earn being broken up with. Now they want to stir the pot as it goes cold. As above, they're trying to collect more value from you in their own interest, not yours. Don't do it! Nothing good comes from these discussions.

Be decisive about moving on with your own life. Be clear but concise about why the relationship is ending, then let her go work through her own "closure."

All of this is presuming you didn't ghost the person unprovoked. In that case, it can mess with a person, woman more so than man, and it legitimately does leave the person hanging and in need of emotional closure. Have the balls to break up decisively, that's all the closure work you "owe" someone you're breaking up with.

funnybrunny · 2018-11-19T20:46:23+00:00

This is gold. In the times I've wanted closure, it never helped me. Just made me belittle myself.

You gotta break the mold and remember that YOU are always the prize, fellas. Remember that. No matter how cliché that may seem.

MR3790 · 2018-11-19T17:50:57+00:00

I pulled this shit thought i needed to say goodbye in person. It was dumb better of just letting them walk.

bcool87 · 2018-11-20T02:59:16+00:00

Yep, a painful lesson I learned when I first fell hard in college. Hit her up for a month periodically til she finally agreed to meet me at the cafe for closure. Her friend was nearby too, as an out. Meanwhile, the wknd she broke up with me she was already out partying and grinding on new dudes. I was devastated by how quickly she just moved on. I'm so far removed from that guy now, but I'll never forget the lesson I learned. There are guys my age and older who still haven't internalized this. Closure is when you say it is. Doesn't mean it won't hurt depending on the level of investment/length of relationship, but turn around and chose to move forward. Asking "why" is fruitless. Use your own analytical skills to learn from it and apply it next time. That's how you truly learn anyway.

PurpleSweetz · 2018-11-20T01:19:30+00:00

Thanks. Will use this when my relationship inevitable comes to its end. She's not mine, it's just my turn.

Aboves · 2018-11-20T01:03:27+00:00

Very spot on piece. I’m guilty of this shit first hand and the way he laid out how shell give a bullshit reason was literally copy and pasted of how she responded towards me. I’m so glad I have the tools needed to respond to scenarios like this in the future, because I made myself a grade A jackass by being a “oh what if i fixed this” and “where did i go wrong” brown nosing little bitch.

TheTrenTrannyTrain · 2018-11-19T20:37:41+00:00

Women want to see you cry and beg to win her back, so she can finally see what a beta faggot you really are to justify her decision of dumping you. Don't give her that satisfaction and she will come back in no time

Story time: met this girl in Feb, we banged a few times and we had great connection and in May she suddenly ghosted me; saw 2 of my texts but didn't reply. I was hurt but didn't send more text her way, I just grieved on my own time and move onto other girls. Suddenly she texted me out of the blue in July wanting to meet. Have been banging her until last month. Point is if you go silent and don't let her win, you will always have the upper hand.

nicksnice · 2018-11-20T09:53:23+00:00

this is great material, solid reminders like this are why im still subbed here. every now and then you need a reality check.

astrogatorjones · 2018-11-20T13:59:10+00:00

I was in a relationship for 6 years. Started out full beta and got maybe a bit better in the first 5 years. Found TRP and started changing. She can’t handle being around a secure person and breaks up.

The thing is when she broke up I was ready. I was reading the books and fully commited to becoming a better person, so the only thing I asked her was “are you sure this is what you want?”. She said yes and I absolutely didn’t look back.

Now is three months later and she still sends me whatsapp messages at 2am about how much she misses me. But my life has improved so much it doesn’t even bother me anymore, plus I’ve got two girls I can certainly have sex with any day I feel like it.

The ex called me and texted so many time being super nice and friendly trying to convince me to meet her to talk trough thing. Every damn time after I politely didn’t agree she showed her true colors and attacked me in some way. What is more likely: she wants to have an actual civilized talk to end things well or she is trying to somehow convince herself that I suck and she didn’t loose out? Fuck this shit.

MadChestHairYuKnight · 2018-11-19T23:39:48+00:00

I have a serious question.

I fucked up in a relationship around four months ago with a girl I really liked, it was a good relationship.

It was my mistake.I have realised that now, I didn't previously.

Should I talk to her and tell her that I was the one who fucked up, or not?

U-94 · 2018-11-21T23:18:48+00:00

Things are much better if you're 100% disinterested. My ex drunk texted me for about 8 months before she finally moved on. Never cared. Never replied other than unemotional replies, as flat as possible. What really helped is that I always not that into her. She was hot and would make a room of dudes jealous but I wasn't sick-to-your-stomach into her as I was with past women. Which put me at a disadvantage. I realized just find a girl who is hot that's into you and just 'put up with that' for a period of time.

You know that scene in Robo Cop where he saves the woman from getting raped and she hysterically tries to hug him afterwards? That was me after breaking up.

Skyhawk_And_Skyhead · 2018-11-27T23:40:17+00:00

"Ok, theres a box near my door, throw my hoodie in there"

RhineLime · 2018-11-20T05:29:54+00:00

I'm getting error 1106 on the site, is it just me or is there something wrong with my DNS settings

dickens910 · 2018-12-01T00:08:55+00:00

I had a plate who I was starting to become more serious with, edging in on LTR. I was on an assignment that had me out of town during the weekdays for a couple of months. We still saw each other every weekend and talked during the week quite a bit. I started noticing a decline in response time and availability. I thought to myself, shes probably seeing someone else.

Sure enough two weeks after me thinking that we mutually break up. I do the short and curt ok, I wish you best bye. She said some bullshit along the lines of, "Sorry I wish the timing and distance was right." Perfect, should have left it at that.

Here's where I fucked up. She initiated this conversation while I was drunk, watching football. When she tried to blame it on timing and distance, I lost it. I called bullshit and said I'm pretty sure you're seeing another guy and this has nothing to do with time and distance. She confirmed this, but still tried to make it about other non issues. Things got a little heated. I shouldn't have even tried to correct her, knowing it wouldn't work, no matter the logic.

I wish I had just stopped after that first, "ok bye" text. Luckily when she asked to meet up for closure, I told her it wasn't necessary and wouldn't change anything.

ozaku7 · 2018-11-19T20:07:19+00:00

Any closures I had was to just say what we wanted to say. Once there was nothing left we were both content and went on with our lives separately.

There have been times where we didn't have a closure because we simply only connected physically and not emotionally so we didn't give a shit.

You guys are pathetic for over thinking it. If a girl breaks up with you, you were seriously blinded if you didn't see it coming.

Title	Closure Is Bullshit
Author	redpillschool
Upvotes	540
Comments	129
Date	November 19, 2018 4:00 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/9yi0dx/closure_is_bullshit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/closure-is-bullshit.53114 https://theredarchive.com/post/53114

Comments