Former fatties, Y/N?

spitenl · 2014-08-15T17:05:54+00:00

Speaking as someone who's lost almost the same amount of weight, I don't think you should worry about her "blowing up". When you make significant (yet simple) lifestyle changes and see results this drastic, it's very hard to ever turn back. And if you do notice it you can always nip it in the bud.

I'm personally more wary about the opposite. I see girls who are attractive right now but don't pay attention to diet/fitness as the ones who will eventually "blow up". Maybe it's an offshoot of the understanding I've gained about diet and fitness, I find effort and discipline to be very attractive traits in a person.

InsanityManifest · 2014-08-15T12:21:59+00:00

On the contrary, it's a good thing. It shows self-control and the desire to lose weight...Or she did a fuckton of coke.

If she isn't dipping her finger in the booger sugar, I'd say she's got potential.

Algermas · 2014-08-15T12:21:16+00:00

No, just dump her if she starts gaining weight.

Wish_I_Was_Savvy · 2014-08-15T14:40:38+00:00

For us being all about self improvement there are a lot of guys saying don't date somebody that was a former fatty wtf...

let_terror_reign · 2014-08-15T13:16:53+00:00

No, it shows that she was willing to make that commitment to improvement over whining that she was fatbeautiful. If anything, I'd consider that a positive.

lonGterMgoalS · 2014-08-15T12:54:12+00:00

Depends how old she is. If she started losing weight late teens/early 20s then she should be good. That's the age you stop eating like a kid. If she's older and she's kept it off for a few years (3+) that's a positive.

If she just lost it a year or less ago the potential for her to gain it back is still there.

emptyform · 2014-08-15T14:39:02+00:00

I don't think she's at risk of blowing up. But she is at much higher risk of hypergamy. Chicks who weren't born hot or went through a long period of undesirability have a newfound power over men they want to exploit to its fullest.

Cyralea · 2014-08-15T15:15:22+00:00

Former fatties are quite interesting. Unlike your average woman, they grew up with an experience not unlike men -- no inherent value unless they worked on it. They tend to be more humble and rooted. They have a better sense of what scarcity mentality is like.

The converse to this is they tend to be massively insecure, from a lifetime of experiencing it. Clinginess, jealousy, the works. Further, people who are obese as children are much more prone to becoming obese as adults with little effort. She can relapse easily. The other thing is if she has recently become fit, she may be enjoying her newfound attention. She may be tempted to "play the field" now that she is getting the attention she's always craved.

juanqunt · 2014-08-15T12:48:18+00:00

I dated someone for 5 years. She was nice and slim and fit when we started dating. She had just lost about 50 pounds. By 3 years in it was ALL back, and she was gaining more. She told me these exact words: "I wasn't planning on losing weight again until my wedding."

Oddly enough, as much as she betafied me, I knew deep down that this was a dealbreaker for our long term relationship. The RP inside my won out. Now she's with some fat guy from Ithica and they both get fat while I have amazing sex with my new fit girlfriend who is on track for med school.

But I digress. The point is that you have to watch her actions. Is she genuinely interested in exercise? Will she go do active things without you? Is she interested in joining you for physical activities besides sex? Does she get moody and depressed and just want to lay around all day on a regular basis? These are some of the warning signs I picked up, and I was right to be suspicious.

alisonstone · 2014-08-15T14:11:40+00:00

There is a threat of relapse if she is recently reformed. But if she has stayed skinny for several years, then that is a good sign. The best indicator is if she has developed a hatred for fatness, fat logic, fat acceptance, etc. Some fat people who lose weight end up hating fat culture because they feel like they have been molested by the lies of fat acceptance (i.e. other fatties convinced them to remain fat).

I was never obese, just slightly overweight, but after seeing how different people treat me after I lost the weight and after experiencing how efficient my athletic ability has become, I boil in anger whenever I see fat logic or fat acceptance at work. If she develops a healthy hatred for fatness, then she might be better off than the average girl who blows up after she locks down a guy. I'd be more cautious of girls who say stuff like "everybody is beautiful" to other girls, because she might actually believe that shit and blow up at some point in the future.

JihadDerp · 2014-08-15T17:33:19+00:00

Former fat girls are the best. They're very slow to realize how hot they are, because they still have the same low self esteem that they did when they were fat. They don't have the misplaced sense of entitlement and bitchiness that most hot girls have naturally. I love former fatties.

hermit_purple · 2014-08-15T13:17:45+00:00

Unicorns are not real. Take your blinders off. You've already put her up on a pedestal. How long do you know her? If you said this after 2 years, maybe i'd believe it.

Take a step back and let her show you who she is. Women put on their "best" fake face for a long time.

richardleosimones · 2014-08-15T15:21:26+00:00

I've lost 160 pounds. I'd be a hypocrite if I couldn't date her.

Rooibosisboss · 2014-08-15T17:41:34+00:00

I mean like other people here have said it really is probably a positive.

How long has she stayed healthy since the weight-loss. As long as its been a few years you are almost certainly in the clear and since she knows what it's like to be heavy (terrible), she will probably work extra hard to never have that happen again.

I'd kill to be in your situation frankly. I understand your concern, but if this is the biggest problem that you're worried about, it should be smooth sailing.

Lumberjack1234 · 2014-08-15T13:29:06+00:00

What the hell is with all these stupid answers here?

OP, I explained in another thread why someone who lost a lot of weight has a very high risk of relapsing into obesity. I won't go into details but when you get fat your body increases your number of fat cells and you raise your natural weight. That is the reason many people go for liposuction.

So your girl, no matter how disciplined and healthy is now, will always have a risk to become a whale. Things are looking good now, but if you are interested in something serious know that there will be good and bad times.

In these bad times, or after a kid, or other traumatic event, she will let go. She will get fat.

I know it's depressing and a lot of former fat slobs will not agree with me but things are what they are. I'm not saying that you can't take care of her, lead her back to a healthy lifestyle when she breaks loose, but you will have this extra work to do.

TheReason13 · 2014-08-15T14:16:00+00:00

I dated a chick 6 years ago, she was 6 years older but slim and hot. Had a good job, looked after herself, fun to be around.

Her family albums betrayed her previously massive body. A little detective work helped me find that she was a recently reformed meth adddict, hence the rapid reduction in size. She seemed to be doing quite well so I agreed to an exclusive relationship if she refrained from using meth ever again.

She never relapsed, but after a few months she started blowing up again, I voiced my concerns and she played the victim. She used the meth addiction to guilt trip me, I caved. One day she was half naked in the kitchen cooking me breakfast, I realized how enormous she was and voiced my concerns again, this time she really let me have it.

She went psychotic. Didn't hold back in telling me what a pathetic shameless asshole I was, she had manipulated me before and that made her confidant that I would once again submit.

Imagine a screaming, obese woman, barefoot in her underwear, throwing you with the breakfast she had just prepared for you as well as plates and cutlery, cursing the most horrible words, spittle flying from her mouth towards you as she cussed.

This was the meth head in her coming out. I was out of there like a gamma ray burst. She came after me but understandably she couldn't keep up. I was so unnerved by it that I left all my belongings there, including a prized expensive Piere Cardin leather jacket. The walrus can have it as long as I never see the her again.

Few weeks later she arrived at my family christmas gathering banging at the door with a suspicious looking man and a friend of hers. They demanded I show myself like a man and face them, they were clearly drunk or high. She displayed her slit wrists for all to see "what he made me do." I called the police.

Few months after a mutual friend told me that she relapsed a day after I left and is now a complete mess, like it was my fault. Apparently she took all my shit and burned it all in her dads garage.

Moral of my story is be vigilant. Be awake, be very awake around fat chicks, they are dependent on others for their happiness and have no self control. Stay away or be on guard.

PoopSmearMoustache · 2014-08-15T14:35:40+00:00

How quick did she loose it and how long was she fat?

Unless the upper arm skin and wider shoulders still give it away that her frame was once holding lots of fat I'd say she's low risk at ballooning again. Keep in mind that a change in metabolism/lifestyle can be hard because some people require lots more effort just to maintain it, in those cases it's always threatening to go back to normal on autopilot.

adrixshadow · 2014-08-15T15:39:52+00:00

She is going to blow at any chance she can get.

Don't let her and you are fine.

norwegian_92 · 2014-08-15T15:49:18+00:00

No loose skin? Stretch marks?

2014-08-15T18:24:16+00:00

The name of the game in weight loss is relapse. Maybe she's one of the few percent who can keep it off. Be wary and worried. It seems her lifestyle has it under control but what happens when shit hits the fan and she can't go to the gym for a month or two? I've seen way too many ex fatties myself included blow back up and every time it's harder to slim back down.

dclozr · 2014-08-15T18:31:42+00:00

If you like her date her, if she gets fat help her lose weight or leave her it's not complicated.

altra_hex · 2014-08-15T19:00:38+00:00

It sounds like you're considering LTR if you're worried about her blowing up later. I don't think anybody mentioned it yet, so I would say note what her mother looks like (assuming it gets to that point).

Genes play a role in weight control as women age (men too of course), so if her mom is still in decent shape at age 40+, then that's a big positive indicator for her future fat outlook.

2014-08-15T19:25:19+00:00

She probably won't. But if she does, pump&dump.

AverageAsian69 · 2014-08-15T19:55:38+00:00

What's her build like? Does she have a big build or a naturally skinny build to begin with? Does she have skinny ankles or fat ankles? Arms?

HeadingRed · 2014-08-15T19:59:12+00:00

I would worry more about the girl in good shape who might slide later on. She knows what its like to be huge and made a choice to do better. More dangerous (especially in the long run) is someone who was always able to stay thin without much effort. So many balloon up in their 40/50's.

Since you are asking I assume you are thinking GF\LTR material. Not sure how old you are, but I would not want to get old with someone who isn't taking care of themselves- it makes it too easy to slide yourself.

trpSenator · 2014-08-15T20:06:10+00:00

So long as she doesn't have the loose skin and shit, go for it. That's how ugly ducklings are born --> used to be ugly so they had to learn how to develop a good personality to get attention and get by as a woman. They they got attractive, so now you have the best of both worlds.

iscream22 · 2014-08-15T20:07:55+00:00

It shouldnt be a dealbreaker, especially if she's in decent shape now. In my personal experience women who carry or have carried extra weight in the past try harder to please me in bed.

dhump · 2014-08-15T21:09:28+00:00

I see a lot of "relapse" speculations here. Don't buy it, myself. Going back to being a fatty is purely dependent on the individual. Myself as an example, I dropped from 250ish to 160 (building a moderate amount of muscle), and then bulked a little from 160 to my current 175. This has been a complete lifestyle change, and I never viewed it as anything but that.

This is actually what separates the healthy from the fatties. Fatties want to believe in some sort of "fitness predestination" doctrine, or that "miracle diets" with no real lifestyle change will fix the problem. This is why they bounce back and forth. I've maintained this for 5+ years, with no intention of changing, and no delusions about what will happen if I do. Propensity to relapse rests solely with the individual. If she has legitimately committed to a lifestyle change (and if she's tracking progress, physically active, etc., then I would believe she has) I see no reason to fear relapse. Just don't let her get complacent.

The best indicator, in my opinion, would be to observe how she reacts to fatties. Like everyone else here, they disgust me. Not only for the obvious reasons, but because I know first hand what they're spewing as far as "everyone is beautiful" or "it's genetics" is total horse shit; rationalizations for their refusal to improve. Pure laziness.

tylertgbh · 2014-08-16T03:59:58+00:00

I'd say she has no more likelihood to blow up than any other girl. Even less I'd say because she has been there and obviously didn't like it enough to get her ass in gear and change her situation. She knows from experience how much better she feels being thin/fit in comparison to being fat/ugly.

antariusz · 2014-08-16T04:38:40+00:00

Yea, it'd be different if she lost 20-30 lbs... 80lbs is serious effort, I say this as a guy that lost 50. She'll know how to lose the weight again if she starts to creep up. Whether she'll have the motivation to or not, is a different matter, but she has the knowledge.

hepatosplenomegaly · 2014-08-16T15:59:50+00:00

Just apply a little dreadgame now and then to let her know you're gone if she becomes fat again.

2014-08-17T00:21:38+00:00

http://www.asianscientist.com/health-medicine/nejm-obese-people-regain-weight-dieting-due-hormones-102011/

Just one of a billion articles about it.

If you've ever been fat it's an uphill battle for the rest of your life. Prevention is the key.

daniel_jacks · 2014-08-17T23:11:27+00:00

Statistically its not a good idea. Plus ~ Loose skin and stretchmarks and cellulite - No thanks.

HiddenPools · 2014-08-15T13:14:24+00:00

Dudes can get fit too, depends a lot on the reasons. I hear a lot of people who pick up asian chicks (in asia) find the depressurization effect of riding back to america causes massive bloating.

On the other hand, if she is turning her life around and has possibly gotten surgery for the extra skin, she's probably good to go. Obviously do not marry.

AlphaXpipubs · 2014-08-15T14:02:09+00:00

What do you mean deal breaker? Are you planning on marrying her - if so, you have already lost even if she doesn't gain weight.

As a masculine man, you enjoy those you want to enjoy - until they don't please you anymore.

The only deal breaker is if you decide something about her isn't worth your effort.

2014-08-15T15:06:49+00:00

Absolutely. If anything it shows they're dedicated and motivated. I don't date any girl that doesn't go to the gym, even if she's skinny. At some point not taking care of herself will lead to her getting fat. Former fatties know how bad lifestyles affected them and won't go back into those bad habits

2014-08-15T16:44:27+00:00

From what I understand, "fat memory" ie after you get fat, you gain extra adipose cells and then when you lose weight, you cannot lose those cells, they just shrink, is real and scientifically backed up. Although there is debate about how much it matters, it's clear that fat people regain their weight easier and not just for psychological reasons.

There's a pros and cons here.

Pros:

A) She has work ethic and understands how certain mentalities lead to failure (what got her fat) and certain mentalities lead to success (how she fixed herself, diet and exercise, discipline, hard work, etc).

B) Most hot girls who were fat who have maintained their hotness tier for a few years will be fairly reliable in keeping up their figure. More so IMO than a girl who has always had the "no muscle but still hot" body without minding her diet or exercise; this girl will balloon more IMO because she has never had to learn about these things.

C) Shared values. For a LTR, you have to be able to do some non-sex things together and because I'm not into dinners, movies, desserts, drinking, or any other kind of date that leaves me fatter and poorer, it is awesome to be able to knock that category out with some fitness. Running, hiking, martial arts, etc that is all actually really fun date material IF you two have shared values for fitness. (I don't like to weightlift with my GF, but if you like to, you can do that too.)

Cons:

A) To become seriously fat, you must have either had a psychological (more common) or physiological addiction to shit foods. Usually these chicks become fat in their teens and that is when their identity is being formed. These girls typically are traumatized to a degree by the pain of being so fat in our society, low self-esteem, have a history of hamstering, and use all of this negative psychological motivation to force themselves to go from fat to fit.

They always will have a dark side because of this; often their experiences in middle and high school being teased will really still fuck with them throughout their twenties, kind of like how bullied kids sometimes become sociopaths. SOME F2F women will have this deep hurt and these old addictions carved pretty deeply into who they are, while their new "fit persona and confidence" is just their outward appearance.

They can EASILY fall back into those negative patterns. Maybe they get depressed about something, maybe they fall into new friend circles, maybe they get married. Either way, you have to be very careful, just like RP women (not the women on the sub, I mean like high SMV women trying to get an alpha commitment who don't necessarily know about RP) have to be careful about not getting a beta who has learned to cloak himself as alpha. While he may be fit and rich and confident now, if he has not healed from the hell of his teenage years, he will always be weirdly fake.

AnotherLostCause · 2014-08-15T23:54:57+00:00

For LTR or shudder marriage yes. If she was that fat once odds are she will be that fat again once she thinks her future income is secure. She is ok as a plate.

TheReason13 · 2014-08-15T13:07:15+00:00

Once a Crack addict, always a crack addict. Once a smoker, always a smoker. Once a fatty, always a fatty.

We are creatures of habit my brother. Even I, as magnificent as I am, would hang my dog for a smoke when things get stressful. I quit 4 years ago.

Even after decades of reform the lard demon inside remains, waiting for a moment of weakness. We may reform, but nobody ever truly changes.

I'm not saying dump her, I'm saying be on your guard, be very, very much on your guard. The moment she puts on some pounds initiate DEFCON 1. She will try to guilt trip you into feeling like shit for rejecting her weight gain, don't fall for that shit. If you do, even slightly, you're enabling her.

Be vigilant.

RPstudent · 2014-08-15T13:50:13+00:00

Is that a dealbreaker?

I don't know. Can't speak to your personal preferences. If it is a deal breaker for you, don't proceed. If it isn't have at it.

Your choices must be your own. Think critically and ask logical people to check your logic. I hear that it freaks you out, which is an emotional reaction, so think about it deliberately and offer your best sense. I bet you'll realize that you don't need the affirmation of a bunch of internet strangers.

But since you asked, if you're just casually dating her (i.e. she's just a plate) what does it matter, you bounce if she no longer brings joy to your life. If you're considering her for an LTR or marriage, legitimately ask yourself why you want an LTR or marriage in the first place. The downsides to such covenants are well-documented. The upsides are about as common as rocking horse shit.

PlusGoody · 2014-08-15T14:51:02+00:00

No. LTRs are about playing the odds.

She is highly to regain the weight. If not now then after kids.

Ugly girls get truly twisted in the self-esteem and self-confidence category. She will never be normal and never really trust you.

She is likely to have both genes, and an attitude toward eating and physical activity, that will make your kids if you have them tend to fat.

Title	Former fatties, Y/N?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	20
Comments	84
Date	August 15, 2014 12:17 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2dmlzp/former_fatties_yn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/former-fatties-yn.19477 https://theredarchive.com/post/19477

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