Her Friends, Your Enemies

Her Friends, Your Enemies

When your girlfriend/LTR/OLTR introduces you to her friends, remember they are her friends – not your friends. In fact there will likely be 1-2 girls in the group that hate the others and secretly want them to fail, especially with relationships.

Why?

First, interfering in other people’s relationships is the Female National Sport. In Every Country in the World.

Second, women hate it when one of their friends is happier than they are – has a better boyfriend (or has a boyfriend at all), lives in a nicer house, drives a nicer car, etc. There is a reason that the word “frenemy” was invented in the context of female relationships. In any group of female friends there’s always at least one who hates 1 or 2 of the others and wants to wreck their shit.

How will this manifest itself?

Girl on Girl Crime

It may be with an “attack” of some type on the girl, although this is less common. As an example, when I was at uni, I took up with a girl who fit my type: tall, willowy, introvert, submissive in the bedroom, etc. I was happy and she was happy. She had a roommate who was initially supportive – she got concert tickets from her work for a band I loved (but she did not) and was happy to give them to me on the condition that I took my not-quite-yet-then girlfriend (which I was going to do anyway; she was a big fan also) – but later became resentful.

She became resentful because she was maybe a 5, and didn’t have a boyfriend and her roommate did. She went out of her way to make my gf uncomfortable – bullshit stuff, the “silent treatment” or whatever – and so my gf spent even more time down in my room (we lived in the same dorm) and since we spent most of our time fucking that was fine with me. WTF did I know, I was 19 and had a hot 19 y.o. gf who would have sex with me as much as I wanted. Vaz = Happy. Anyway, the roommate, who was something of a “queen bee” - was unhappy because my gf had been pulled out of her orbit and into mine. She was feeling a “loss of friendship” and reacted in such a way that it only drove her friend further away.

As the roommate and I had actually known each other before, once I found out what was up, she and I had a civil discussion and I agreed that the gf and I would spend more time hanging out with her and the other roommates (there were 5 total), so long as she would “play nice” and so it resolved itself for the rest of the academic year.

The Well Poisoner

Other times, it manifests itself as an attack on YOU by the jealous friend. This is more insidious. The frenemy proceeds as if she is being the “trusted friend” giving “wise advice” to your girlfriend but really she is trying to sabotage things.

Many years ago, I had an OLDR who lived in DC, while I lived in NYC – four hours by car, an hour by plane – and it was nice. I was self-employed at the time, so I would arrive on Thursday and then depart on Sunday night. She would cook for me, dress in the lingerie that I liked, do whatever freaky shit that I wanted in bed and had a few good ideas of her own. It was good.

Until….

Until her friend Roxanne got wind of things. Roxanne or “Toxic Roxy” as I would call her, had managed to get divorced, twice, by age 24 and, as I understood from my gf, it was the guy who ended things both time. Think that over: all she had to do was be attractive, willing to fuck a lot and not be a nagging bitch, and a lot guys at that age would be happy, or at least happy enough to stick around. So she was a loser, and she didn’t want to be left high and dry as the only single girl in her friend group.

My OLDR also had a friend, Sophia, who was happily married who advised her “Men like Vaz do not grow on trees. You should do whatever it takes to keep him.” So yeah, Sophia was cool.

Toxic Roxy would attempt to invite herself over on nights that I was there to interfere, and would drip, drip, drip poison in my gf’s ear when I wasn’t. So after a time I would arrive and I’d get hit with:

GF: “Roxanne says you do {some bullshit}”

Me: “Well, that’s not accurate because {facts}”

GF: “Roxanne says you do {some other bullshit}”

Me: “That’s not true because {other facts}”

GF: “You always…”

Me: “First, tell Roxanne to shut up. Second, why are you listening to a no-man-having, two-time loser instead of Sophia, who is actually happy?”

Alas, she did not listen to Sophia, and we can all see where this was going (and, indeed, went.) She was being gaslighted by Toxic Roxy, and also by her mom – her mom was on the scene and would trash talk me also, because she was a selfish bitch, and what if Gf married me and moved to NYC? Who would be mom’s footstool then? So it was 2 on 1 (or 2 on 2 if you count Sophia, but she was usually off keeping her husband happy by doing “good wife” stuff.)

She took up with a local option – one that Toxic Roxy and mom pushed on her, until she started dating him and guess who they hated then?! I know this because she rang me to bitch about it. Me: “Hmm. If only you had had a man in your life who was wise and told you that these two cunty bitches were sabotaging your relationships…oh, wait. Never mind.”

Things got worse for her, and she would ring me and just sob and beg for me to take her back, and I told her to go invent a time machine and go back in time to slap some sense into her past self, and then, ok, but otherwise, well, you can’t un-ring a bell. So that tale does not have a happy ending.

I was also dating locally, so it wasn’t terrible, but she was a key part of my rotation. It was just irritating that one or two cunty bitches and ruin things.

Takeaways

-Women are huuuuge bucket crabs. The happier your LTR is, the more one or more of her girlfriends will try to fuck things up for her, and by extension, you.

-If one of your LTRs friends is unhappy because she’s single, fat, a bitch or all three (i.e. a radical feminist), you need to protect yourself. The mom in the above tale was a cunt, but sometimes moms can be helpful, if they like you.

-You can try to inoculate your gf by pointing out negative behaviors among her friends, when topical, but once you see this sort of shit, you need to consider developing an exit strategy.