How do you not feel bad?

quantum_spintronic · 2014-02-23T08:22:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-02-23T05:56:03+00:00

Because they are the ones who wanted it. It's their choice to be your fuckbuddy. Just like how it's your choice to be in the friendzone.

GuideGhost · 2014-02-23T16:14:15+00:00

Girls aren't giving out sympathy fucks. Let's be honest, girls are absolutely ruthless toward betas. I learned that the hard way by not getting any sex at all in 4 years of college. It was only after graduating that I started working on my inner core, traveling, establishing a career/lifestyle, becoming confident, and learning game. Only then did I started having success. These days I'm slaying it.

I understand feeling empathy, I get that too, but ultimately what being a man boils down to is taking what you want in life without apology.

Do you think LeBron feels bad for the other team after hitting a game-winning shot? Probably a little bit. But it's still his duty to go out and win as much as possible.

CaptainDerpknocker · 2014-02-23T04:50:13+00:00

They'll be fine.

shamanbard · 2014-02-23T05:52:34+00:00

To all recovering nice guys: Do you think all these girls you're banging would have given a shit about you when you were a nice guy? Do you think they cared about your pain at being in the friend-zone?

Let the girl taste a little of what it feels like to be the average 20-something thirsty beta male for once in her life.

hashtagpound2point2 · 2014-02-23T08:04:54+00:00

I really agree with a lot of what is being said here but the attitude and vibe that emits from this sub just feels dark.

The vibe I get from this place is 'no bullshit zone' and eye-opening. It probably feels dark to you because of how much trash talk goes on about us outside of the subreddit.

To answer your question though, women will live on. The speed at which I've seen some girls recover from a break up has been at least mach 2. If they can't deal with getting pumped and dumped, it's their issue that they're not mature enough to handle themselves as adults. I don't expect women to nurse a guy's confidence back after telling him to fuck off, or 'let's just be friends.'

JohnGalt316 · 2014-02-23T05:41:20+00:00

you want to have your cake and eat it too

either you get friendzoned and you feel angry, they get fuckzoned and you feel guilt, or u get into a LTR and you feel trapped

which one do u want?

UnimpressedAsshole · 2014-02-23T04:56:45+00:00

I was thinking about this earlier.

I'm very sensitive to what the people around me are experiencing and it used to be when girls would feel dread based on the dynamics of our relationship, I would feel bad for them and assuage their heaviness by comforting them. Not only would that cause them to lose respect for me, but they would have zero appreciation for my gesture. I think that comes down to the inherent sense of entitlement women have due to their ovaries, since a massive yet unwritten social rule is that women are valuable due to their ability to give birth. Many women are like black holes in the sense that they feel entitled to everything yet appreciate nothing given to them so they'll just suck everything up without a hint of humanness.

Simply put, recognize that your survival and fulfillment is your own responsibility, and their survival and fulfillment is theirs. You don't owe them anything; the cost of dinner, movie tickets, validation, support, a relationship. Give these things when it benefits you and not out of pity. If you have compassion for these women, great, it's refreshing to hear you are a good human being, but you have to remember your own passions and desires in life and keep them as your focus. Don't live your life for these women or anybody but yourself, anything less than that is compensation of your sacred potential and akin to slavery.

roue_ · 2014-02-23T05:52:23+00:00

You need to stop being sensitive. It's good to have empathy but these girl won't care when the next guy that cones after you is validating them. And take from TRP what you will I dont agree with some stuff here but it has helped me.

monsieurhire2 · 2014-02-23T07:51:37+00:00

What's to feel guilty about? Not signing away your life as a slave to them because they have sex with you? Aren't they already getting as much out of it as you are? If they didn't want to be your fuck buddy, they'd go do something, or someone else. Again, what's to feel guilty about?

2014-02-23T10:31:27+00:00

As long as you aren't leading them on and using some sort of promise (implied or not) of commitment to bang these chicks, I don't see what the moral problem is.

Don't think they "deserve" something from you because they "gave" you sex. It doesn't work like that.

akthero · 2014-02-23T09:33:34+00:00

It's simple. I never imply that I'm looking for an LTR unless I am. I don't lie to her of she asks about me seeing other women. After that, whatever assumptions she makes about our "future" are all in her head. They're her responsibility, and pretty much out of my control.

JP_Whoregan · 2014-02-23T22:31:24+00:00

These women want equality and feminism, and we're just meeting them on their own terms. Nobody can make these women feel bad but themselves.

JRcanReid · 2014-02-23T21:36:33+00:00

How do you not feel bad?

You imagine the alternate universe where instead of looking out for yourself and your own best interests (because nobody else will), you marry her, give her everything she wants, worship her and work 60 hours a week to afford the lifestyle she deserves.

In that universe she gives you "duty sex" once a month while saving her real pussy juices for some guy she met at the gym (with a gym membership you paid for) and later, divorces you because of emotional abuse ("He was never home, I felt so alone") and collects $1917.68 a month while still fucking that guy from the gym.

If you subscribe to the Many-Worlds Interpretation, this version of you and your "fuck buddy" exists out there somewhere. Do you still feel bad you're living in this universe and not that one?

pcadrian · 2014-02-23T13:35:10+00:00

You are still holding on to the blue pill ideals, which is why internally you still feel like the red pill is somehow wrong. Keep reading the content, keep internalizing this stuff DAILY, and eventually you'll get to what I describe in this comment.

There is no reason to feel guilty, unless you are going the wrong way about "fuck zoning" these girls. What you should be doing is making your intentions clear - you aren't looking for commitment/relationship - then give them the choice to take it or leave it. Those who stay make their own choice. You are now guilt free. However if you are hiding from them that you are seeing other women (why, are you afraid? so what if they leave?), naturally you are going to feel some guilt because you are not being true to yourself/your beliefs/desires.

I just don't want to go full asshole...

Let's talk about that for a second. If you are TRULY being an "asshole," would these girls gravitate towards you? Of course not! The term "asshole" is just something that other people who don't have success invented, and it reflects the envy they feel towards you. It's nothing more than a shaming tactic to keep you obeying the matrix rule.

Listen, you are not being an "asshole." What you are being is playful, teasing, a smartass who understands how attraction works. And guess what, women naturally respond to that (hence your success), because you are giving them what they really want: a challenge.

If you're going to climb a mountain, would you rather climb a small one using a road/car with no challenges, or would you rather go for Mont Blanc? Is Mont Blanc an asshole for being a challenge? NO! All the climbers talk about it like it's the holy grail, and dream of being on top of dat shit. So don't be a small mountain, be Mont Blanc.

B32DB08170 · 2014-02-23T08:01:38+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, I really do.

Your behavior can stay the same (not prioritize women) but your motives/reasons for doing so need to be different. Instead of it being 'behave this way to get laid' it should be 'do not prioritize women because I have important personal improvement to do' and that is what works for me. You still give that same vibe, but you can sleep better because your motivations are different.

Hyooge · 2014-02-23T11:02:53+00:00

The girls you sleep with typically are attractive enough to get their emotional needs from other men. Therefore they get sex from you and care from other guys, so she gets everything she wants.

Guys who don't get laid get nothing. They get no real care from girls. You can't compare them to girls you fuck because the guys give everything and get nothing whereas the girls do give, but they will also receive.

wakingslowdiver · 2014-02-23T10:42:59+00:00

It's her choice to have sex with you, thus her responsibility. Remember women choose, men are chosen. She did not choose the nice guy who remembered her birthday, she chose to sleep with you.

Why not feel bad for the terminally ill cancer patient? Why not feel bad for the hobo living on the street?

You want to feel bad for the overpriviliged white bitches rejecting men left and right? Come on son...

As someone else here said, these girls are ruthless when it comes to rejecting betas. The game is tough, women have made it so.

vandaalen · 2014-02-23T11:17:27+00:00

I agree with most of the things mentioned here, but want to add another aspect I thought of:

I think that a part of the problem is, that the way you act and the way you think are not in compliance.

BP wants you to "just be the guy you are", while RP teaches you to become the man you desire to be.

So being RP means, that you are true to yourself, because you know it's the possible best you can be, and therefore also don't feel a need to play certain behaviour.

If you are still on your journey and are more in a "fake it til you make it"-state though, you might feel like a liar, despite the fact you believe and know that your behaviour and actions towards women are perfectly right. This might not be concious all the time.

Feeling like you lied and betrayed a person will make you feel bad and guilty.

On the contrary, if you are perfectly pleased with yourself and confident you will communicate to the women that you won't be theirs and are not available to be exclusively with them. It's their choice from thereon.

You won't also be acting or playing any lines you learned anywhere, but just behave the way you are and what you consider to be right.

That's by the way one of the things that makes TRP different from just some PUA hocuspocus. It's more of a philosophy and a change in thinking and getting rid of old dogmas.

So my thoughts are: Just keep going and it will just stop by itself one time.

W-Z-R · 2014-02-23T13:49:08+00:00

How many shits would they have given about you in your previous nice guy days?

Zero, you have gotten the "HURR U R MANIPULATIVE" shtick

Fitch0y · 2014-02-23T14:19:51+00:00

You fuck buddy zone - your decision.

You do it because you don't see them as GF material.

They friend zoned you for the same reason. You was a nice asexual guy.

So if she is not interesting, funny, bla bla, whatever you look for in a GF you fuck buddy zone her.

Also it is not your responsibility how they feel.

BenchPress400 · 2014-02-23T14:28:29+00:00

Realise all these girls do the same thing, but just for guys. For every girl you put in the fuck zone, they put plenty of guys in the friend zone.

Also understand that its the behaviour of women that gets them into the fuck zone, and it's also the behaviour of women that creates nice guys and the friend zone too. Do you really think men would be so emasculated if it wasn't for the way they're raised and told to be "gentlemen" and treat girls like princesses for nothing? Also, if you lived in earlier times and girls squandered sex, they wouldn't be fuck zoned the first place and would actually be worth dating.

Robdogx9001 · 2014-02-23T14:42:17+00:00

Lions don't lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep.

FortunateBum · 2014-02-23T19:19:02+00:00

Women say they like sex, right?

You're giving them sex.

They should be thanking you.

If a fuck buddy ever gives you crap just say, I usually charge for sex. You, I gave it up for free. You should feel honored.

blazin_ · 2014-02-23T21:22:47+00:00

There's no foul play in TRP.

You're being honest about yourself in your frame and actions. If a woman wants to fuck you for that, cool. That doesn't mean you have to commit to her and it doesn't mean she has to commit to you. It just means she enjoyes the pleasures of alpha cock and you get to enjoy pounding that ass.

You've made the terms, if she doesn't like those terms then she shouldn't be fucking you... but she is.

MichaelSpartan · 2014-02-23T07:07:21+00:00

If you're making progress, which it sounds like, congratulations are due regardless of residual effects. The best counsel I can give is to not get caught up in these feelings, they can only serve as setbacks in both the short and long run of things.

Sturmgeist781 · 2014-02-23T08:40:35+00:00

Because they don't give a shit about how you feel.

Make it a two way street.

Beardsman2 · 2014-02-23T09:38:02+00:00

Sometimes I feel bad. When I have sex with a young girl who I have no intention of having a relationship with (someone who is below my SMV) I think how no bloke who would ever have a long term relationship/marriage with her will ever make her feel as good or fuck her as hard as I did. That if she does decide to get married she'd probably have to settle for a lesser man and worse sex.

But if it wasn't me fucking her, it would be some other bloke with a SMV at least as high. Her choices are hers to make, not mine.

NotSoBetaBeta · 2014-02-23T10:16:19+00:00

There is no sympathy coming in your direction so don't feel the need to throw any out.

totorox · 2014-02-23T11:08:53+00:00

You don't have to be a predator. You can be a cool mammal who knows what's up, takes what he needs but doesn't ruin people because it'd be just heartless and stupid to do so.

2014-02-23T12:42:44+00:00

do you think the world will stop? Do you think nobody else is going to do this to them? We are all precipitating towards the void, nothing makes any sense. Your morals are relative to where you are standing right now, you've been conditioned to be you and now that you've had the red pill you realize just how senseless everything is. And yeah, this is it... this is what you see when you finally open your eyes. But make no mistake, this is beautiful because the truth is beautiful. Life comes and goes and there is no time to waste. You are not purposefully hurting somebody, and even if you were... what? Every time you upgrade your smartphone you are probably contributing to fucking up the environment and shitting on third world countries... why are these women more important than the world you live in? Because you see them? Because you remember when you were friend zoned? This is the jungle, and we are just karma carrying monkeys. Do what you need to do, follow the truth, and don't get caught up with the bullshit because at the end of the day, you are the only thing that you have.

charlesbukowksi · 2014-02-23T12:46:52+00:00

when you stare into the abyss the abyss stares into you

2014-02-23T15:25:00+00:00

It's a good question -- I have the same feelings. What helps for me is to be completely honest. This doesn't require telling them ahead of time that you'd never consider them for an LTR, but it does mean being honest if they ask (and not to falsely imply that you would consider them for an LTR). Also, what helps is to continue working on self improvement, and make your own personal and spiritual improvement your main focus, instead of women -- when women become secondary in your life, it will become more natural to not feel compelled to offer them LTR status just for putting out and being nice. In other words, when you realize that your SMV is so high above theirs, you won't feel as indebted to repay their sexual favors with an LTR. Essentially, you need to make it your mindset that THEY are the ones that are gaining from the sex (which can only happen when your SMV is substantially higher than theirs -- women don't resent sports stars for not committing to an LTR, because they consider themselves lucky to have fucked such a higher SMV), not you (therefore, you would owe them nothing more). Be honest, improve your SMV, and change your mindset.

2014-02-23T16:16:36+00:00

We give off a hostile vibe because alot of what being a man is is internalizing the shitty things we have to do to keep the affection of these women. I'm not going to speak for everyong but I know that there are many former "nice guys" like myself here and switching to these Frames where we have to ignore peoples desires to reach a better place can often feel like living a lie. We are in a society where boys are raised to be women and girls aren't expected to grow up until they've had some kids. so both sexes feel bitterness about lies but they direct it to different supposed sources. Men project blame to all women and feminists for lying to us about what it is to be alive. And women after reaching a dead end on the road that is their life blame men and call it a glass ceiling when the truth is they just don't have what it takes to keep going, they can't keep whoring because they lose their beauty they can't keep up at business because their emotional environment becomes polluted with a stress that is only meant to be felt by a provider so they become incomplete portions of bot genders and they internalize a male aggression and redirect it because they weren't taught how to control those emotions.

The true blame lies at the feet of the absent fathers it is in the nature of women to take more for themselves feminism could never grow into anything else than it is today. The question is how do we plan to raise the next generation? because I'm not prepared to hand my sons and daughters a free pass on following their hormones and making bad decisions just because their dumb cave man brains want them to behave like cave men.

TRP is becoming an antithesis to feminism when I don't feel that is our role, I feel we need to move beyond attacking feminism and work on being constructive to humanity while excluding feminist participation. We should move on to questions like "What would a better civilization look like?"

If men are providers then what do we have to offer?

Grainslol · 2014-02-23T17:26:02+00:00

I really agree with a lot of what is being said here but the attitude and vibe that emits from this sub just feels dark.

I felt the same way, but I also can't help but speculate that your guilt is a result of the learned behavior that compelled you to be "nice" like most of us in the first place.

Kimjungillestt · 2014-02-23T18:20:53+00:00

Hey man it's either you or them. If you don't do it to them, they'll gladly do it to you. It's a selfish world we live in, someone has to win. Might as well be you.

2014-02-24T00:00:02+00:00

In the same boat here.

If you don't want to fully date someone then don't. Don't let yourself be guilted into it.

FloranHunter · 2014-02-24T00:54:48+00:00

You feel guilt because you are disobeying your programming aka social conditioning. Guess what? You were programmed to be used. At best a bluepill man is a treasured tool. Usually, he's disposable. That guilt is some manipulative bullshit intent only on hurting you for the benefit of others.

Also, learn stoicism. You can control your emotions to an immense degree. You just need practice to first learn how to control not suppress emotions and second honing that control.

2014-02-24T05:08:25+00:00

Be upfront and honest in terms of the level of commitment you are willing to give. Do this in the first conversation that goes anywhere with the woman, ie at the bar, in class, etc. "I'm not looking for anything serious", "I'm looking for something casual", "I don't want a girlfriend right now," etc. Do this before the first date, first meeting, first fuck.

I'm guessing that a lot of your feeling of unease and sympathy is coming from a feeling that you are using or manipulating women in some way. Hopefully being upfront to women about this will allow you to realize that they are adults making their own decisions: you aren't manipulating or deceiving them, you're giving them an option for a non-romantic, largely sexual relationship with you. There is no deception so no need to feel bad for her. The equivalent would be a woman saying "I'm not interested in being anything more than friends" in the first conversation: would you consider yourself deceived or duped or deserving of sympathy if you later pined for her. Would you consider yourself being used if you had a normal friendship with her? Probably not, because she was upfront about the limits of her interest right away.

PS: Newbies think that being this upfront is either awkward, assumptive or will lead to women walking off immediately. It almost never does. It's not the trigger, anyway. Women are quite willing to be fuck-buddies with guys and enjoy it, but if you lead them on with even the implied suggestion of something serious and try to keep it at just sex afterwards they'll be furious. It's a nice meeting of ethics and game: blunt truth is both the best game move and the most ethical move. This doesn't usually happen, but this is one of those cases.

If you follow this advice and still feel guilty you might want to review how you view sex. You probably view it as transactional or zero-sum, ie "man wins, woman loses" or "man enjoys, women permits" as opposed to "man enjoys, woman enjoys." You're viewing yourself as somehow harming or exploiting a woman by having casual sex with her without a relationship: if you are upfront about what you want and view sex as something mutually pleasurable, there's no reason to feel guilt.

PPS: The advice here based around "well women are exploitative too" is both true and counter-productive. You aren't going to be able to silence your conscience by being so awful that it gives up and dies, you're going to have to change your behavior and start re-evaluating some beliefs about sex to understand that you aren't exploiting people by not being in a formal relationship with them.

JD42305 · 2014-02-24T15:31:55+00:00

Well these last few months I began a winning tradition

This a nod to Bill Burr?

LukeMooney · 2014-02-24T15:36:30+00:00

I now "fuck buddy" zone these girls

It's call the "affair zone" credit to someone I can't remember his name. When a girl says, "what am I to you?" just say "you're in the affair zone".

DoxasticPoo · 2014-02-24T19:17:46+00:00

This is part of why I'm MGTOW. Until I get all the emotions worked out, I'm just going on my own.

But, always remember this, you are giving them what they want. It seems counter-intuitive because women say they want X yet respond to ~X.

But if you worked at a bakery, and a woman came in asking for a cake, would you feel bad selling it to her?

Now imagine you worked at restaurant that sells salads and cake, and a woman came in saying she wanted a salad, but bought a cake. Would you feel bad?

No. She makes her choices. Just as you make yours.

through_a_ways · 2014-02-23T09:13:26+00:00

Feeling guilty about fuck buddy zoning a girl is like feeling guilty about robbing a bank.

2014-02-23T12:26:39+00:00

Be honest and tell them you aren't looking for anything serious. Then if they try to fuck their way into a relationship that's their fault.

AlmostRP · 2014-02-23T15:25:10+00:00

Lions don't lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep.

mercuryg · 2014-02-23T13:59:31+00:00

As long as they're not shit-ugly they'll be fine, as girls they have it easier than you. With that said, you call the vibe from this sub "dark", well you're right, because TRP is about accepting the darkness in the sexual marketplace. It's about accepting exactly how skewered it is, how much more difficult it is for men to succeed in it, and last but not least, accepting exactly how much women are taking advantage of the situation, maybe without even being aware of it.

So that's part of the solution, when men are in this terrible position, facing this darkness every day, they have to fight darkness with darkness.

qualia00 · 2014-02-23T17:02:57+00:00

You don't feel bad because it doesn't exist in your frame. What you are feeling are remnants of your previous "nice guy" frame.

asaspade5 · 2014-02-23T05:36:28+00:00

"Full asshole"? "Guilt getting heavy"? Cmon...this means you haven't swallowed the red pill...you're choking on it. Take some time and meditate on the redpill before you get lost in ambiguity

2014-02-23T15:46:27+00:00

Concern troll. Mods do your thing.

This whole part about feelind bad and oh we're so dark and the "FR" that not caring is all it takes? This is bottom of the barrel.

reluctantly_in_love · 2014-02-23T14:35:23+00:00

Maybe (god forbid) you felt empathy

Title	How do you not feel bad?
Author	yata97
Upvotes	72
Comments	87
Date	February 23, 2014 4:19 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1yogr7/how_do_you_not_feel_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-do-you-not-feel-bad.11705 https://theredarchive.com/post/11705

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