I'm NOT sorry

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-07-18T19:28:43+00:00

This is going to be really difficult for our Canadian members....

DontBeFredo · 2016-07-18T19:11:53+00:00

Lol, it sounds so beta, but I'm increasingly becoming a bigger fan of "whoops". Especially in scenarios like you mentioned, bumping into people on the street. It's my way of saying, "yeah, something happened. I recognize it. But I take no responsibility." Try saying "whoops" to a girl when she's heated about something, and that'll really get her going. (Take this slightly satirical paragraph with a grain of salt)

Borsao66 · 2016-07-18T19:12:23+00:00

Another weapon to add to your verbal arsenal is "excuse me". It's polite and stands in on occasions where the bad habit of "I'm sorry" is too often applied.

But OP is on target. Eliminate "I'm sorry" from your vocabulary.

the-capitan · 2016-07-18T20:58:38+00:00

the only time you're ever allowed to say "sorry" is when you're talking about how you never say "sorry".

eliminate the word from your vocabulary. period.

if you fuck up, don't say sorry, and don't ever apologize. say "thank you for accommodating / understanding / working with me on this." saying sorry just makes them feel like you're supplicating. telling them thank you makes them feel like they've done something awesome.

if you bump into someone, "excuse me" or "pardon me" are fine.

user_none · 2016-07-18T20:08:02+00:00

Sorry is one of those words I've been keenly aware of for quite some time. "I'm sorry." sounds like a little kid that's ashamed of what's been done, tail tucked between the legs, and quite possibly has been shamed. It recognizes nothing. It's a cop out. Like you, I gravitated towards the actual apology.

"But", is yet another word I avoid and replace with "and". The word "but", when used as I typically hear it negates that which precedes. "I'm sorry, but..." See?

"You should do x." "You should try x." Oh really, I should? Ask me a question instead of telling me to do something. Small difference, however one is inviting and the other is verging on thinking you know what's best for me.

tthrowaway- · 2016-07-18T23:05:48+00:00

A good frame is "never explain, never complain, never apologize".

vagbutters · 2016-07-18T21:48:14+00:00

Save your sorry's for when they actually count so that they have some worth behind them.

Also remember that for most encounters your average "sorry" doesn't mean shit to a person who just wants something (which you haven't provided correctly). A sorry is valid where you make a mistake and have genuinely offended someone for something that you should've done correctly.

2MuchButter · 2016-07-19T14:55:01+00:00

'My bad' is my favorite way of saying sorry without saying sorry.

DarkRedTwist · 2016-07-19T09:56:24+00:00

As a Canadian. This rule of not saying sorry has really been the hardest behavioural change I have made. Oh i bumped into you, sorry (our national password for maple syrup) I mean fuck. Did it again.

Fulp_Piction · 2016-07-18T19:56:59+00:00

I say neither. If it's my fault I say "shit, what can I do to fix it?", and either fix it or forget about it. Requests for apologies are just manipulative attempts at getting free validation.

Throwaway244555 · 2016-07-18T22:14:23+00:00

Also never say sorry in a argument, the moment you say sorry that mean you are at fault even if you aren't.

Also I have a question, what happenends if a teacher/parents force you to appologies even tho you aren't wrong? I wouldn't say sorry, but I can get in trouble or something so what to do in that situation?

Tie5o11 · 2016-07-19T16:08:23+00:00

I could not concur more. If its one of those little things, such as you bump somebody or are blocking somebody path- say "Excuse me". Excuse me, literally, is a command- but also shows awareness of your surroundings.

Just the other day I asked a grown man if he was in line for the restroom, and he said, "Yeah. Sorry". I just looked at him dumbfounded. Why on Earth would you say "Sorry" for being in line? The "Sorry" epidemic these days has gotten out of control.

Sir_Distic · 2016-07-19T18:07:18+00:00

Don't apologize for something you didn't do/have control over. And Don't apologize for something you're not truly sorry for.

First off it's disingenuous. Second it's insulting to the person being apologized to.

Saying "i'm sorry for your loss" when someone dies is acceptable. Even though you have no control over it and probably aren't sorry really. You are offering condolences. Although there are better ways to offer condolences. (If I'm wrong, by all means let me know)

But unless you did something you're sorry for you shouldn't apologize. If I hurt someone's feelings and I'm not sorry I'm not apologizing. I'm not going around TRYING to hurt people's feelings but how someone takes something is their problem.

ELLEN_POO · 2016-07-19T19:05:44+00:00

I apologize when I make a mistake because I actually feel sorry. I should have improved so I could have prevented that mistake etc.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-07-19T23:24:19+00:00

Usually I'm not even sorry. Whether it was me being a rude prick to some girl. Or having been to much uncaring asshole or inconsiderate. I don't really care. To apologize is to yield to your opponent, giving away ground. To apologize to a woman signals you're willing to bow down in order to keep the relationship going. And that's simply not the case for me.

BlackPhoenix01 · 2016-07-20T02:03:23+00:00

It's a sad state of affairs when some people consider apologies to be a loss of face and a loss of power.

I used to (maybe I still do) lean on the word as a crutch because perhaps there's an innate desire to be loved and accepted by everyone. But we all know that pleasing everyone pleases no one.

You'd expect Asian people to be all about politeness, especially the Japanese. But I came to the conclusion recently that Japanese apologies are not sincere, but they are simply requests for forgiveness. They're not saying sorry because they're remorseful, they're saying sorry because they want your approval. There's also that really immature feature about Chinese culture of 'face'. People don't apologise because it brings shame.

I still do take a small measure of pride in my ability to self-examine my errors and take responsibility for them, a feature that I find lacking in the majority of this godforsaken species, but this is a very hard habit to kick.

But it's a habit that's got to be kicked anyways.

MentORPHEUS · 2016-07-19T15:43:56+00:00

Fun fact: Saying "I'm sorry" at the scene of a car accident or other trouble can be used as an admission of culpability in court later.

2ndAmericanCivilWar · 2016-07-19T01:28:43+00:00

Anytime you say "Sorry" or apologize for anything at all, it is to be taken as a sign of weakness. Don't ever apologize no matter the circumstance. Even in a sarcastic manner this is a sign of weakness. You compromise yourself every time this is spoken.

I'm NOT sorry

If it sounds weird to say "I apologize for _____" then it isn't worth apologizing for

Comments

Title	I'm NOT sorry
Author	PlantNutrient
Upvotes	173
Comments	62
Date	July 18, 2016 7:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4tgt1f/im_not_sorry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/im-not-sorry.60865 https://theredarchive.com/post/60865