Spent up until Junior year of high school playing video games, watching anime, and reading books >8hrs a day. but maintained a high GPA. Could not socially connect with the people around me (besides a small group of likeminded friends) and most girls avoided me. Spent a lot of time on R9K and really thought I was forever alone, contemplated a lot of suicide/hedonism. Got randomly assigned weight lifting in junior year as a class. Fast forward a year I'm in advanced weight lifting, six pack abs, and realizing that the girl I've been obsessed with since middle school doesn't care and thinks I'm a weirdo. Also managed to awkwardly ask this hot chick to prom who said yes (found out the night of she had a boyfriend rip).

So its senior year and I'm realizing my chances of being successful during/after college are minimal because I lack social skills. So I join the military and get one of the highest paying jobs and a dam of confidence broke in me. After boot camp and ever since then I went from the quiet kid in the back to the loudest (frequently to the point of being obnoxious) in the room. In addition to lifting weights I started figure skating (not kidding) which gave me a lot of time surrounded by girls. My problems with women weren't solved overnight, but slowly I developed more confidence (didn't lose my virginity til age 19). Now I have no problem approaching women (at work, out of work, at bars, etc) and whenever I go out with friends I make it personal mission to talk to more girls than everyone else.

The problem is, I've had 4 girlfriends in the last 5 years, yet none of them match my current standards (which have only gone up with time). In that time I bought a 600hp sports car. I started competetive long distance running. I also run with in the local running clubs weekly (mostly older dudes and younger trophy wives). I'm realizing that literally everything I've done/do for "myself" was in the romantic pursuit of woman/women I will never connect with at a romantic level. I feel as if I've come full circle and am forever alone again.

Then I fucking see the word "gymcel" scrolling through my instagram memes, and I don't know how to feel about myself, because I think it describes me perfectly.