tl;dr Thought I was Alpha. Met girl. Throughout the two years, lost a lot of Alpha and gained more Beta but thought it was ok because LoveTM. Girl loses attraction, leaves. AWALT so don't be a fucking beta.

Long time lurker here at TRP and this week I had the hand of the RP smack me right in the face. I thought I had understood TRP and could manage a LTR. This week, the girl I had been dating for almost two years broke up with me. I didn't see it coming. I had thought that everything up to this point had been great. I was even going to introduce her to my grandparents overseas this fall. Her reason? "I can't help the way I feel and slowly and gradually, the attraction just started to fade away".

So here is my story, brothers. So you can add it onto the board of all the other examples and hopefully not be a complete fucking idiot like me.

I thought I found someone who "got it" (first mistake). I moved to a new city after college and met her at a social gathering. We connected right away and talking to her, she seemed mature for her age and even slightly understood TRP concepts even though not actually connecting it with this sub. We started dating and she started staying over more and more and eventually just stayed. We decided, only after dating for little over a half a year, to move in together (second mistake). My habits got poorer and poorer, I cleaned my place less and went to the gym less, where I used to keep my place minimalistic and worked out every day. I got comfortable and slowly lost my Alpha and gained more Beta tendencies (third mistake). In short, I fell in love with her.

Queue to the past few months. We moved to another bigger place together and settled even more. I didn't gain weight, but I definitely lost muscle mass and stopped working on myself. I was content and stupid. Sex had been slowly getting more and more periodic. She had been on mood stabilizers for her Borderline (yeah yeah ok should've hit the breaks right then and there). I can't say I was completely happy about it all and the situation I was finding myself in. But I let things be because I loved her and had that urge to provide and support her.

She made some friends at work and started talking to this guy more and more. I noticed it but I didn't say anything at first because she didn't have many friends in the first place and I was happy she found some (I've stopped counting all the mistakes I've made). She started talking to him more and more, and my gut feeling told me something was wrong. I comforted her about it and she told me it wasn't anything to worry about and that she wasn't going to ruin this wonderful thing we have for this guy she hardly knows. I believed her. The very next day after I got home from work, however, I noticed her Facebook messages being blown up by that guy and went to turn it off. But something caught my eye that threw up a red flag and this time, I decided to finally take that flag. I found that the previous night, after I confronted her about the co worker, that she had stayed up until 4am texting and snapping pictures of herself to her in her underwear that I had bought for her as well as some of our personal "items". He talked to her and treated her like shit and like a child and she ate that up like candy.

That was the final straw. I confronted her about it and told her to explain herself and wtf she was thinking. Looking back, I should have dumped her right then and there. But I thought it was a good idea to be a beta good guy and hear her story. After she tried to explain and make excuses (why did you look at my private messages, it was the first slip up, etc) she cried went and talked to her mom. When she came back, I told her to sit down so we can discuss and work things out. thats when she dropped the bomb on me. She told me that she had been thinking about and planning how to break things off because she had slowly began to drift and not feel the same way anymore - and that it had been happening for some time now. I asked her why hadn't she talked to me about this before or even brought up any issues with our relationship. Lost frame because I was panicked and wanted to work things out. She couldn't tell me why. It just slowly happened and that she can't help the way she feels (feels b4 reals boys).

So that was it. Two years down the drain because she can't help how she feels because I was a dumbass and let myself lose my Alpha (what she was attracted to) and traded it for the Beta (what she thought she was attracted to).She left for her moms and now we have to work out the details on splitting the things from the home we lived in together.

Sorry this all came out in a rush. It all happened yesterday and I'm trying to make sense of it and keep myself together. Now its monk mode, gym, diet, and getting the two years back and my shit back together.

I dont regret loving her. I'm happy for the times we had together and the life we had.

I regret not taking care of myself and watching for signs of the slow decay of attraction because I wasn't the best I could be. That will never happen again.

Lessons learned:

  1. Never stop improving yourself. The second you stop, everything goes downhill. You'll hate yourself and she'll lose interest in the passive weight you've become.

  2. Don't be blinded by love and ignore the warning signs.

  3. Women will only appreciate you if you are strong - If you don't give into the beta tendencies that we all have and start caring for them more than you care about yourself. AWALT.

  4. Women can't control their feelings. No matter how rational they may seem.

  5. Women love being immature children and treated like shit..

  6. AWALT

I'm still trying to examine the past two years and see where it went wrong and what I could have done (read: will do) to learn and grow from this.

What else could I have done or remembered not to do? Chew me a new one guys and help me improve.

Sincerely,

A fucked up idiot