Looking for advice before this evening

ur_fault · 2023-07-19T17:01:11+00:00

Definitely stay home and cuddle instead of spending your time doing something you actually want to do.

Can't have her thinking you might be butt hurt.

feddyman_1216 · 2023-07-19T17:57:00+00:00

Do us all a favor, for the next week focus on YOU!

Don't initiate sex. If it happens, great.

Don't disclose your feelings/butthurt...just stfu

Don't think about what she's feeling

Do what makes you happy, like BJJ, gym, etc

Bonus: If you work from home, leave a couple days and work from a coffee shop or public place (if possible). Get away from her.

Bottom line is you gotta sidebar, lift, etc, etc. But you gotta break up this pattern you're in and get out of her damn frame! As Rollo famously says, "kill the Beta before it kills you"......or your relationship.

BoatLikeAFlutterby · 2023-07-19T16:58:16+00:00

I don’t know what’s grosser, you having a marital dynamic where your wife gives you an I-owe-you for sex, or you accepting sex that you’re getting because you kept her coupon in your purse.

Best thing you could do, in my opinion:

Pack your Jiu Jitsu bag.
Go find her before you would have to leave for Jiu Jitsu.
Initiate non-verbally. Don’t say a word. Seriously, please stfu.
The moment she does something to reciprocate (but before the point where she would stop you if she wasn’t in the mood), kiss her platonically on the forehead and say in a cocky tone, “Alright, settle down! I’ve got Jiu Jitsu tonight.” and leave.

She’ll assume you’re cashing in and that you know you could get sex from her. And yet… look at you, prioritizing yourself and your mission instead.

You’ve put her on a pedestal. She knows that. It gives her leverage and makes your relationship suck. It’s not enough for you to stop caring (not that you have). She needs to see that there are things you value more than access to her, and she’s too fickle to tailor your schedule around.

redwall92 · 2023-07-19T16:48:53+00:00

No such thing as a rain-check for sex.

Swagstoic · 2023-07-19T16:44:49+00:00

Dude if she's not initiating the rain check, it's not a rain check.

Figure out the source of your butt hurt.

She can see and smell it from a mile away.

Sidebar, lift, OYS.

marnilifestyle · 2023-07-19T17:44:10+00:00

Are you so worried about what your wife is gonna think that you need to prepare yourself to respond to getting rejected?? Not to mention your lack of confidence is very unattractive. Why are you assuming you’re gonna get rejected 12 hours before even attempting?

Everything you NEED to know is in the sidebar. Don’t just make a post for everything without putting the work in man.

You should think about why your wife doesn’t wanna sleep with you, and how you can fix that. Not how you can alpha your way into her pants with these new totally awesome alpha special tactics you learned on MRP. There is no quick fix.

InChargeMan · 2023-07-19T19:57:02+00:00

Try putting it on google calendars and adding her as a participant. Maybe keep a spreadsheet as well, so you don't miss out on any rain checks.

HornsOfApathy · 2023-07-19T16:52:43+00:00

Be sure to post again when you're shit tested about this covert contract and how it played out.

She's just not attracted to you.

Chard-Far · 2023-07-19T18:26:31+00:00

"Mommy I'm going to skip class for a chance of you giving me crumbs of unattractive duty sex you promisedddd"

Would you be attracted to this?

nevertoughever · 2023-07-19T16:45:22+00:00

She will think you're butt hurt for a long time. Because you probably will be. You should not have told her "you're skipping bjj because you're little muscles are too sore". DLV right there, my friend.

Kino throughout the day, escalate/initiate when you feel and if/when you get rejected, go to bjj. Or do anything else to hide how butthurt you are.

dolanthesemicolon · 2023-07-19T18:26:37+00:00

OK, so things are beginning to make a little sense now. I've just read your OYS post. Lacks a bit of actionable detail, but at least I now have context.

Dude, you are very very early on a long journey. To be completely honest, tonight isn't going to matter a flying fuck what you do. But I suggest you just go do your BJJ. Or be that needy husband and try have your validation sex. But let this be the start of lesson 1.

You need to fix you. And you need to do it slowly. Imagine this:

Day one: She arrives home. She acts like a bitch, orders you to get her a cup of tea. "Yes babe".

Day two: She arrives home. She acts like a bitch, orders you to make her a cup of tea. You look at her, put your hand out, and say, "Panties off and hand them over."

What do you think she's going to say to you? She's going to look at you like you're a deranged monkey smoking crack cocaine. But if you transition slowly you actually can get to Day 2... there just needs to be about 300 fucking days in between them (don't believe me? Read hornsofapathy's journey right from OYS through to his posts about panty privileges.

My point is, this isn't an overnight fix. You have a shit load of work to do to get there. And its going to take you a couple of years to get anywhere close. The journey simply starts with lifting and getting stronger. Then read perhaps the first 4 steps of dread (hint, you should ONLY be doing level 1 and 2 for the next couple of months). And read NMMNG. And read WISNIFG. And after that, start tackling the jacktenofhearts posts.

You, my lost soul of an Internet friend, are plagued with covert contracts, so I think NMMNG is a must for you first.

Tyred_Biggums · 2023-07-19T23:20:39+00:00

We’ve moved on from scoreboard to rain delays and make up games. God help OP.

jjj2576 · 2023-07-19T17:34:19+00:00

Only read the first two sentences.

All requests for sex must be made two weeks in advance.

Sidebar.

SnooGuavas8229 · 2023-07-19T19:44:48+00:00

What the fuck is this? So much over-analyzing this is why you're failing...

DanubianDelusion · 2023-07-20T16:08:11+00:00

This whole discussion is like asking people on the internet with which hand you should wipe your ass. Left or right?! Pleeeeezzz help!

Fucking pathetic megaretard.

Lopsided-Mix-4131 · 2023-07-19T23:02:34+00:00

he has to ask . period . nob verbal is nonsense at this point what do people expect him to do in this group . jerk off … he will be do bjjj but ultimately he will have to ask his wife to do the deed.

Chard-Far · 2023-07-19T18:25:16+00:00

You're so dependant on her sex validation it fucking hurts

Go live your life you little needy cunt

ToMeIn20Years · 2023-07-19T19:44:20+00:00

I am very much a work in progress, but you have a mindset I had a few months ago. You are planning your whole day around something you can’t control, so much so that you come here to ask for how to act.

Sex isn’t a goal for a man. It’s an impulse, or a byproduct of him doing what he wants. No harm in building an environment conducive to what you want, but clearly all you want is to be validated.

Praexology · 2023-07-19T19:45:03+00:00

I plan on trying to take that rain check today.

Even though it doesn't make a sense in action, the microcommunicators that proceed from believing she "owes you sex" is going to make you come across negatively.

Even though she's your wife, she doesn't owe you sex.

I told her I will most likely be skipping Jiu Jitsu tonight to chill home and rest as I hit heavy lifts today.

You're avoiding saying what you really want - are you scared of rejection? Are you hoping you can trick her into thinking you don't actually want it so she'll give it to you?

Look, being butthurt =/= being hurt.

Being butthurt is a specific way of showing that you are upset because someone is withholding something from you that you feel entitled to, or are acting pouty and bitchy.

DeplorableRay · 2023-07-20T02:09:50+00:00

You should worry more about being attractive and when you are, this shit won’t matter. Dread is what you’re looking for, and this isn’t it. Go to BJJ, that’s more attractive than being creepy with your wife.

redwall92 · 2023-07-20T13:44:38+00:00

Inquiring minds need to know ...

Did you get submitted on the mat by your opponent?

Or did you get submitted at home by your wife's feelings (how you feel your wife feels)?

MoonLandingHoaxer · 2023-07-20T14:21:13+00:00

Find something in your life that's more important to you than your wife and having sex.

Care less.

You will have better outcomes.

Kevlar__Soul · 2023-07-20T18:21:12+00:00

Anytime my wife rain checks me, I just assume it’s like any other initiation and I could get rejected again. For some reason my wife loved to rain check and then push it out again out of the blue. It almost seems like she was trying to see if I still have IO even if she “owes” me one.

If she does then just smile say something funny and go to your class. Memory of a gol fish and just assume any rain check promise won’t be kept.

Title	Looking for advice before this evening
Author	KeeblerF6
Upvotes	7
Comments	48
Date	July 19, 2023 4:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/153zsb3/looking_for_advice_before_this_evening/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/looking-for-advice-before-this-evening.1225758 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225758

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