Need to get a grip.

resolutions316 · 2019-02-20T00:35:23+00:00

You are focused on what you want to avoid.

When a car spins out, they tell you to look where you want to go....not at the wall.

Why? Because when you look at the wall - even if all you want to do is avoid it - you’ll subconsciously drive towards it.

Focus on what you WANT. Not on what you don’t.

Your stress and inability to enjoy yourself will bring about the exact outcome you don’t want.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2019-02-20T04:03:20+00:00

You’re afraid.

Scared.

You fear some other alpha will out-alpha you and cuck you in your own relationship.

You are losing your abundance mentality and outcome independence as a result.

All of the shit that makes her want to fuck you and blow you every single day, is the same shit she will complain about in 3-5 years as she tries to betaize you to keep you from leaving the nest she has built with you with the new hatchlings. It’s her nature to do so. Dogs bark. Babies cry. Women betaize.

Physically, externally, by your description, you are probably in the top 1%. And..

Emotionally, internally, by your description, you are average, or below average compared to your external success.

We get it. You’re good with women. Successful in business. You run gear and you’re jacked and tan and juicy as fuck.

But in the arena of your mind, you’re a scared little boy afraid of losing your favorite pet to someone who might try to steal it from you, or your pet might run off to be with a master it might like better, and YOU CAN’T STOP IT FROM DOING SO.

How much time do you spend developing your mind compared to the time you spend in the gym?

I’m not talking about the intellectual shit that allows you to bank from doing good business.

I’m talking the emotional shit. How intellectually in control are you of your emotional feelings? You know, that one area MOST men fail at.

If you are a high value alpha male, then chances are you have yourself a high value female, OTHER high value alphas and almost every other swinging dick would like to have.

A lot of us, below you in the food chain, don’t feel like you do, because our relative 6’s don’t attract the attention of 10s like you. All we have to do is be an 8 and she’s blowing US on the way to the store, and we feel good about ourselves in relation to her.

You don’t get that level of dread. You’re a 10 to her 9.5, and she has a buffet spread before her every night at work, literally.

You are losing your shit on the battlefield of your mind.

You take gear, hit the gym, and do sports including BJJ.

Great.

Your success in business doesn’t happen by accident. You must invest a lot of time to make that shit profitable, no?

What investment have you made in your emotional center? Specifically, what books have you read to lay a solid foundation for your mind to control your emotions and run a program that ultimately makes you happy?

Here, it’s the sidebar.

Read it? How many times? Once? Twice?

The above average reader retains 10% of what they read.

If you have read the entire sidebar less than 10 times, you have work left to do.

But there’s one tome, based on your specific current circumstances, that I would strongly recommend to you, RIGHT NOW.

“The Unchained Man,” by Caleb Jones.

Your emotional center is your weakest link.

It’s not too late, but it’s past time you start doing the mundane, boring, tedious shit you need to do.

Read, and develop your mind.

Now, stop your sniveling and whining and

GET TO FUCKING WORK!

justpickanyusername · 2019-02-20T03:25:20+00:00

I think you are getting all turned around in your head about what the red pill is and what it means to your life. Red pill is a sexual strategy. It has been proven time and time again to be 100% correct. I don’t argue against or refute any of the core teachings. However, your own choices make up your own life strategy. From a pure maximizing your sexual options standpoint? Yes, an LTR would be unwise. It is limiting your choices. So, from a straight up RP perspective it is frowned upon because it doesn’t maximize your sexual options. Remember, it is a sexual strategy for fucking and an LTR puts you in a strategic disadvantage. But, can you only win from the high ground? Not necessarily. It will just be harder when at a strategic disadvantage.

From a what do I want out of life perspective? That is something you will have to decide. Will it limit your sexual options? Quite possibly it will. You mention that you want kids and you feel you have vetted well and found a good first officer. Cool. I highly recommend kids. Will it limit your sexual options? More than likely it will impact it to some degree. Things may get harder (welcome to hard mode). However, there are things I have experienced and learned as a father that I would have never have encountered had I not had children. How much that limits your availability to sex and what you are cool with is up to you. This is where you take your RP knowledge and make a choice.

I guess my point is, my eyes too are forever changed by what I have seen when I took the red pill. However, I still continue to stay married despite the fact that from a pure sexual strategy standpoint it is hindering my availability to sex to a certain degree. I too have choices. I could cheat, spin plates, divorce or whatever. All, from a pure sexual strategy standpoint, those would increase my availability to sex. I make no illusions to myself about what this means to my sexual options and I use RP as a toolkit to help navigate life. The longer I have run this I have found that sex is very important to me, but so are a lot of other things.

So, make your own choice. Still wanting more sex? Then make your choice and don’t limit your options by making a poor strategic decision. Do you want kids? Know the trade offs and make a choice.

red-sfpplus · 2019-02-20T00:16:45+00:00

To improve your grip I recommend heavy shrugs, farmers walks and chalk up.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2019-02-20T00:39:04+00:00

Ha ha ha ha. Sounds very familiar. Your problem is that you are trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. You are or sound like a high-value alpha male. You are wired to have sex with a lot of women and you enjoy it. Nothing wrong with that. The problem is when you’re trying to fit a societal model on yourself and this condition you put up on yourself of being monogamous. Or being what are you calling in your head a “ family man.”

Meanwhile she is doing everything she can to secure you - she has a lock on your balls and dick and she knows it. Classic stuff.

Then she starts weaponizing the pussy, knowing that she is your only release, and of course you start suffering.

So either give up your expectation of getting sex anytime you want, and deal with the associated drama that sounds like is about to start between the two of you. Or give up the expectation that you will be monogamous. Ideally you thread the needle well, you communicate this to her, she is going to stick around, and you will therefore be able to have a source of permanent dread. As opposed to an implied one.

All this other stuff around how beautiful your relationship is one big distraction from your mission. Also you pay way too much attention to what she says, all her love words. Frankly you sound immature to start a family. You do not seem ready, you seem classic alpha young stud who is about to become castrated by a hypergamous woman.

simbarlion · 2019-02-20T00:03:56+00:00

Neediness, or oneitis comes from your fear you will lose her. But your fear is coming from something else.

What are you afraid of?

RedPillCoach · 2019-02-20T06:07:43+00:00

Ahh, to be in ~~love~~ limerence again.

I need to withdrawal attention

I can’t even go to the store without her blowing me in the car

What are you doing Brah? Why are you deliberately withdrawing attention when sex is on demand?

Have a nice ride. Limerence lasts 12-18 months. Then...

I legit feel like...

Nobody cares how FEEEEEELLLL- and you need to care less how you feel.

Being in Twue Wuv makes all men weak. Enjoy it and stop freaking out. Should you cheat to prove you can? I have heard dumber things said today but I accidently turned on MSNBC earlier.

RandomlyChosenTitle · 2019-02-20T13:12:03+00:00

"Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable, or from neglecting what is within our power" - Epictetus

I see both sides of that coin in play in the above post.

RPWolf · 2019-02-20T13:42:22+00:00

I’m constantly Trying to keep things perfect.

Stop it.

I did this for years and you know what, the harder you try the worse things get or at least the harder you try the bigger the impact to your ego when shit goes south. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The biggest thing that helped me the most was the day I realized I can't control anything other than myself and my emotions.

SorcererKing · 2019-02-20T14:29:03+00:00

Ok dude, here it is: she's already gone, because she wasn't yours, it was just your turn. Now that you know that, what will you do with her in the time you have left? Will you get weird and mate-guard and worry, or will you have a great time, keep your mission in the center of your frame, and enjoy her on your mutual terms?

P.S. - next time you're balls deep and she tries to tell you you'll be late, try saying, "LOL".

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-02-19T23:29:47+00:00

“On paper I’m the fucking prize.“

Indeed. But in real life, you’re a faggot.

weakandsensitive · 2019-02-20T12:35:49+00:00

didn't we go through this like 7 months ago?

Countpudyoola · 2019-02-20T14:43:23+00:00

You can't enjoy things if

A) you prevent yourself from moderately enjoying them and

B) are too fearful about the enjoyment ending.

Just letting yourself love a woman does not mean oneitis.

One of the best parts of a new relationship is the infatuation phase. Your chemicals and neurotransmitters released during the initial bonding phase are intense and can bring a lot of joy to your life.

It's a disservice to yourself not to enjoy it for at least a little bit.

The thrill of a bungie jump is in the fall and bounce. But you can't enjoy yourself if you don't jump. RP is always there. It's the guy who checks the line first, and cranks you back in.

Fucking get the natural high on it. So long as you moderate and don't become an addict... your'e fine. And even if you do. Again...there's a structure for it.

And on the flipside...I think you develop oneitis more if you keep checking yourself because you're so afraid of fucking up with a girl. That takes a lot of commitment and time just in self-police. Relax... then deal.

Nothing will ever go perfect always. And you will fuck up from time to time. It's fine. Just always have your toolset ready. That's reality. That's life. That will build your personal story and it allows you to learn.

And in this rare instance I'd say ... give less fucks about giving less fucks.

BobbyPeru · 2019-02-20T04:17:24+00:00

Spinning plates and being in an LTR are 2 very different things.

There’s a reason why they call MRP “hard mode...”. Because you find out how much of a faggot you really are until you work at it enough to killl the ONEitis, lack of frame, and insecurity.

hack3ge · 2019-02-20T12:35:35+00:00

Have you had your E2 checked lately? You sound likely your shits out of whack.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2019-02-20T05:47:36+00:00

Surprisingly, if you want to build a relationship with an actual high value, nice girl, you need to. It fuck other woman and you actually need to not be a self-centered cock. What you do need to do if you want a high value woman in a relationship is pretend like you need to do things that invest you into the relationship AS LONG AS IT DON’T MAKE YOU COMPROMISE YOURSELF.

ManguZa · 2019-02-20T09:08:15+00:00

Working at a bar or not if she want another guy she can have it.

Don't try to make things perfect, don't worry about being too much a beta, the only thing you have to do is accepting that she'll direspect you sometimes and that you need to put her in place when she does.
If she stop you during sex (disrepect) it's an opportunity to show her your alpha value and thus preserve the relationship, *call her on her behaviour* this is how you'll make things perfect for you and her.

freshona · 2019-02-20T13:06:09+00:00

So, on average, how much weed you smoking per week? Or whatever it is you use to fuck up your head.

LongRoad_518 · 2019-02-20T15:27:14+00:00

I legit feel like a pussy inside and idk where the fuck it came from or what steps to take to get rid of it.

The good news is, unlike me, you were/are a top alpha based on what you've said. The bad news is, you're falling into the mindset that led many down the path to giving their LTR/wife their balls to carry around in her purse. You have to find a way to tell yourself to STFU when you start thinking these things. Just yell at that voice in your head - don't let it creep into a repetitive thought pattern. This post helped me... should help you.

Live in the moment, enjoy life. If she cheats - so what? If she turns to shit - so what? You should know you are the prize based on your history - just need to regain that mindset.

John9249 · 2019-02-20T18:57:57+00:00

Sounds like the tren is getting to you.

eddielovett · 2019-02-20T19:35:52+00:00

Need to get off the gear. Your hormones and brain chemistry are out of wack. Go natural and watch your mind and emotions get under control.

Do you meditate? Do you run?

Reading your post gave me the sense that your mind is constantly racing.

You focus too much on the physical and appearances. Instead spend some time relating to the spirit world. Take some mushrooms. You’ll probably have a bad trip and realize you’ve been a piece of shit and deserve bad things to happen to you. That’s probably where your anxiety stems from.

Your lifestyle and sensibilities are not a great fit for a long term relationship, stability, raising a family etc.

Right now who you are and your mentality is much better suited to doing dirty things with other peoples girlfriends. If you want that to change you need to change yourself and the way you think. Consider moving or traveling abroad for a while.

You say you set boundaries which is great but you’re not accustomed to LTR game. You can set more boundaries and tell her what to do. If her working at a bar bothers you so much tell her to quit and if she’s as submissive and obsessed with you as you say she will do it without question. Provide for her while she finds a new job or employ her yourself. Get shit done.

Red pill is a great mindset for fucking a lot of girls not perfect for being a family man. You’re scared of being beta but if you want an LTR and a family THAT IS BETA. And there’s no way around it. Wanting to commit to one woman is beta.

mindplaybyneo · 2019-02-20T20:14:36+00:00

Im not gonna tell you to stop, cause I hate when I have moments like this and my therapist tells me to stop. Its like telling an angry person to not be angry.

At this point you just gotta make a mantra and remind yourself, you are Ok being alone. You are comfortable in your skin. Regardless if she leave or stay.

JameisBong · 2019-02-23T01:29:21+00:00

You legit seem worried, you can't out alpha every man on the planet. Enjoy your time with this one, if it all goes to shit, just start over. Always be your own mental point of origin.

Title	Need to get a grip.
Author	Bulk_king11
Upvotes	17
Comments	67
Date	February 19, 2019 11:14 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/asgtcy/need_to_get_a_grip/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/need-to-get-a-grip.218988 https://theredarchive.com/post/218988

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