Things were finally starting to turn around. Family running smooth, I am doing well in the gym, wife has almost got the toddler weaned and hormones balanced which means aunt flow came back. 3 months later, in fact a week ago we went out for some drinks, nachos and cigars. Got home, had the indoor Olympics before sleep.

She missed her monthly and the test came back positive today.

A third baby...

It's my fault for being irresponsible. I get it. But damn, now I feel like my life is on hault for another two years.

The last baby really did a number on the marriage. He has not been a laid back kid at all.

I'm just trying to get my thoughts out I guess. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not a bunch of kids in a minivan kind of guy.

I feel guilty for the regret.

I don't even know if my marriage can take another sexless, stressful hiatus so soon.

But, I still have to own my shit.