Valentine's PSA

FoxShitNasty83 · 2019-02-13T08:42:36+00:00

Oh fuck, I spent the money on dumbbells for the iron temple. If you need me I'll be praying in said temple for forgiveness.

My only hope is to stay up all night and make a handmade card, pray for me brothers.

mrp_awakening · 2019-02-13T11:18:43+00:00

Solid advice Litz. Why isn't this stickied yet? Dont the mods realize that your wife's feelings are the most important thing in the world? They need to be stickied to the top of your heart.

Plus if you spend a lot of money, she has to have sex with you. Everyone understands that...

Tbonesupreme · 2019-02-13T16:08:18+00:00

Rookies.

My girl is a single mom. I send flowers to her AND to her daughter and post that shit on Facebook.

Persaeus · 2019-02-13T11:52:30+00:00

Any holiday where I have to work is not a real holiday.

ImNotSlash · 2019-02-13T12:43:52+00:00

I opened another credit card just for this week. I'm so getting laid

TRP8myfeels · 2019-02-13T13:18:59+00:00

Flowers are a spontaneous gift I get whenever I feel like it.

They were a little more expensive last time I wanted to get them a week or whatever ago. I went to get some from a discount pile near a register. The woman who rang them up said they looked like shit [in a polite employee manner of course] and told me she would get me fresher ones.

I mean she didn't ask me, she literally walked away and got me other flowers. They were like 1/3 price, that's why I got them.

Kicker is I don't really put flowers in the house just for her. I like them, the kids like them. They add 'life' to the kitchen and remind me that things that are beautiful and grow from nature are cut, used for a few weeks, then thrown in with the rest of the garbage.

Metaphors to keep things in perspective.

RPLawyer · 2019-02-13T15:06:04+00:00

This year I booked a trip to the Dominican Republic for my wife and her boyfriend! She's gonna respect me so much!! I would do anything for my soul mate

helaughsinhidden · 2019-02-13T13:10:38+00:00

I like to alternate between decadent vacations and horrific tragedies. They say traumatic events are the most memorable things you can live through, so they really give you a lot of bang for the buck. This year I'm planning on kidnapping her at work, tossing her in the trunk of a rental car and then being the one to rescue her later. Probably gonna stage some mannequin to look like I went all Frank Castle to save her. I'll get head for sure.

InChargeMan · 2019-02-13T14:21:30+00:00

But, don't be "typical" and just go with flowers and jewelry. Of course, still do that, but you need to do something else extra special, ideally something that she can make Karen in accounting jealous with. Maybe look into a sky-writing service, purses with small pattered logos which make them 100X better than non logo purses, or if you want to go full Alpha go down to the bank, get a grand or two in single bills and build a giant cash bonfire to burn in her honor. Show her that you desire her above all things, and that you are willing to waste big money to show her.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2019-02-13T15:59:50+00:00

Damn, I only got her skittles

Bobsfreestuff · 2019-02-13T21:45:59+00:00

My wife is currently a mad pregnant woman. Has not put out in about a week. Apparently, I am disrespectful. I am going to buy her a Payday candy bar so at least she can still get some "nut" in her diet.

Gave the gf a one pound bag of coffee from Starbucks yesterday and said "Happy Valentines Day." Then fucked her hard in 4 or 5 positions. She wrote me a very nice thank you text overnight.

Two girls: Total V-Day Budget: $15.87

Dialerstring · 2019-02-13T11:34:45+00:00

Na she gets a Starbucks coffee for Valentine only. I used to bring her coffee every Wednesday to her job until 1 years ago she stated “The only thing you do is bring me coffee!” All the flowers I would send got replaced with a Chai Latte.

SeamusAwl · 2019-02-13T14:23:28+00:00

And if you play your cards just right you may even get lucky!

I got her a $3k set of diamond earings with matching necklace. So that means I get to cuddle and rub her feet!

SiegreicherMarsch · 2019-02-13T23:37:48+00:00

Brothers, help, I'm screwed. I'm at the grocery store right now and some jacked Chad just walked off with the last bouquet of roses and teddy bear. No doubt he's going to score big time. I don't know what to do, I'm panicking here.

red-sfpplus · 2019-02-13T13:41:49+00:00

Manufactured holidays, which are nothing more than random dates on a calendar, are big business.

redismyfuture · 2019-02-13T14:02:35+00:00

Nothing says "I love you sweety" like IOU foot rubs. She'll love that after all the hard work she puts in with the kids.

RicoDunne · 2019-02-13T15:07:06+00:00

Couples Boxing lesson with gloves and a dessert afterwards. She is actually looking forward to going into the ring with me! I don't know if I should be glad to have a brave woman or insulted.

V1adimirP00ntin · 2019-02-13T15:41:36+00:00

I got my wife a “new” car for Valentines Day.

Actually, I bought myself a new car and I’m giving my wife my used, hand me down.

Still trying to decide if I’ll have my new car delivered to fake her out or not. I guess we will see how well she behaves the next couple of days, and if the surprise she’s been saving all her allowance for is good or not.

SorcererKing · 2019-02-13T19:21:01+00:00

$143? That could buy a lot of skittles, that's for sure.

jerrymcguiver · 2019-02-14T17:26:17+00:00

Candles lit and footrub at 9:15. Backrub 9:30 and make sure not to touch her butt she says it makes her uncomfortable so lower back off limits. Read her my new poem for her at 10:00. By 10:15 I move in for the kill and ask her politely if it's ok to take my penis out and if she wants to have sex.

That's my daily routine of how i game and kino my wife. She seems to really like it and all and we've managed to increase sex to once a month up from every 3rd month as of late. I've doubled the length of massage for this special day and i bought her more of our special for her pleasure condoms since the last box got lost.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-02-13T17:16:31+00:00

I know this is complete satire, and in my BP faggot days I'd be right here actually taking these suggestions seriously.

But this year - I actually like my wife. She's been a good little girl lately. So, I bought her a..... trombone.

Yes, a trombone.

Fuck ya'll shit's going to be hilarious... I can't wait to see her face when she expects chocolates, flowers and a date, only to be met by a fucking TROMBONE.

Now I'm just trying to craft the witty line during delivery of the gift.

7rashbin · 2019-02-13T10:38:39+00:00

I’m starting to think following this subreddit was a mistake..

BoiLyon · 2019-02-13T13:53:40+00:00

One of the simple advantages of having a Jehovah’s Witness wife: She would be offended if I acknowledged ANY holiday other than our anniversary. . .it would be considered ‘idolatry.’

red88lobster · 2019-02-14T08:15:30+00:00

I told my wife I had a suprise for her . It was very romantic.

What I did was I took her to the bedroom and fucked her brains out .

She enjoyed it.

Happy wife happy life . Lol

UEMcGill · 2019-02-14T14:31:36+00:00

I was going to buy my wife a rifle today. But stupid Buds Guns doesn't have it in stock, so I had to back order it. I will gladly take care of it and shoot it for her though. I'm a good husband.

RedPillCoach · 2019-02-18T23:20:42+00:00

Best....thread....ever

Holding frame is a real thing, just like flowers, chocolates, and coconut oil massages in the buttcrack. The important thing is to negotiate openly and schedule the sex on date night no matter how much you have to pay. Because communication is critical to long term intimate relationships.

ManguZa · 2019-02-13T10:01:51+00:00

Seriously?
Try the other way, buy something cheap but personnalised and thoughful (if anything).

Title	Valentine's PSA
Author	The_Litz
Upvotes	60
Comments	87
Date	February 13, 2019 8:30 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/aq4gne/valentines_psa/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/valentines-psa.215180 https://theredarchive.com/post/215180

Comments