Dating a rape survivor

redpill_disciple · 2017-09-25T19:05:55+00:00

It seems like she's taking all the necessary steps to try to deal with it. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders and a great family support system. The question is how does it make you feel? Are you emotionally capable of handling the fact that she was raped? It seems like you were okay with her being LTR material until she mentioned her past.

Now the RP hive mind with probably say something like, "Bro, you don't know if she was actually raped or that she drunkenly fucked Chad at the frat party and then regretted it." The thing is that you don't know so you really have to go based on what and how you feel about dating a rape victim.

Seems like a comfort test to me

Also keep in mind that she could use this against you in the future. She might refuse sex with you and use her rape as an excuse etc...if she does that then you know what to do.

Asdfghjkugfvnki · 2017-09-26T03:35:44+00:00

Even if it was legit rape, I would move on. Yes, that's the kind of asshole I am, but there are millions of other girls out there just as great without that baggage.

GayLubeOil · 2017-09-26T06:33:54+00:00

Never buy the bent can if corn it could be cracked and there could be bacteria inside. Plenty of good cans of corn on the shelf.

SkorchZang · 2017-09-25T19:53:53+00:00

Sounds like a real rape case to me, because if it was the SJW brand rape-lite, you'd hear all about it on your first date. Plus it would be in triumphant tones: "well,my rape this" and "mhmm, but my rape that". My rape as my favorite pet.

Not the case with this girl, and the embarassing details about the labia injury just confirm it. The SJW rape-lite "survivors" never have anything real-world or embarassing like that to report.

Basically you are forced to accept that she's fucked in the head. Can you live with that? Nothing you do or say is ever going to rescue her from her fucked up and possibly quite volatile state. Example: you could be having a perfectly wonderful fuck session one weekend, she's enthusiastic and happy all the way, then all of a sudden she curls into a fetal ball and bawls her fucking eyes out, just crying inconsolably for an hour or more. Or shit that messes with your mind, where she clings to you in that feminine surrender but at the same time your touch scares the hell out of her and she flinches from it. Could be plenty of "WTF!" moments like this in store. Think about whether you're willing to deal with that. There's girls who haven't been raped you could be seeing... But then again, there's true love too. Maybe you see something in this girl that's like family to you, that's worth something too.

One thing to avoid would be coddling her. Make sure you don't mush out on her and start treating her extra sweet, walking on eggshells and being extra cuddly and the supreme gentleman of shitty feminist ads about consent. You'll just earn her contempt that way, the nasty unconscious kind. If anything, be a little more rough with her day-to-day, you're her Daddy and you're all about the tough love. You're not her saviour or therapist, and never wanted to be for a second, you her lover who's there for selfish reasons (i.e. finding her fucking attractive, which is flattering for her), not fake coddly rape survivor outreach (blegh).

LeftAndRed · 2017-09-25T23:37:17+00:00

This is not a test of any sort. Her hamster is not rolling.

what is this?

Stop over thinking this. This is a great sign from your girl! She had a trauma, but isn't using it as a "damaged girl free pass" card to rationalize bullshit. Women who deal with trauma and recover from it with effort have the psychological fortitude to make a partner that will better her man.

so what's the danger?

That she will use this as a free pass. That because she was traumatized, any behavior that is "because" of the trauma should be excused. (Quotations used because there is never true causality between said shit behavior and the trauma.) You need to be wary of this and shut down any attempts to "get away" with things.

aurelius_shrugs · 2017-09-25T19:48:34+00:00

Generally, you will see the crazy after six months of "dating" or when you cohabitate. FYI, every woman has a rape story. Take that for what it is.

specialCupcake · 2017-09-26T05:15:59+00:00

Don't date "rape survivors" and rape survivors.

Red flags:

1.She mentioned it 2.She did not call the police and gave you a bullshit excuse "I'd rather see my rapist on campust instead of calling the police"

She's probably on her best behavior, don't stick around for when shit hits the fan.

ScottDurden · 2017-09-25T20:34:09+00:00

This is very different from girls that use their rape as a get out of jail free card for anything shitty they do to you (also see badge of honour).

zopiro · 2017-09-25T23:02:29+00:00

Seems like a nice girl who went through hell and survived.

There's really nothing to "handle" here. Just be loving and supportive, as you would be to your mom, a sister or a daughter who lived through rape.

Nice girls are rare.

WISE_TURD · 2017-09-25T19:15:24+00:00

Hmmmm sounds like a fair amount of baggage/red flags there.

She's probably on her best behavior since it's early on. Bail IMMEDIATELY once the behavior changes. Probably better just to leave now though tbh because that sounds like a storm on the horizon. Walking away only gets more complicated with time.

It'll probably rear it's ugly head when you're out drinking. For your sake, I hope no one's around to see the meltdown.

Source: been in your situation.

AlphaGrad · 2017-09-26T01:28:04+00:00

Translation: She got drunk and high at a party, went ahead to fuck at least one guy, felt bad about it and now she's playing the rape victim card. She didn't report it because she enjoyed her active participation and had many witnesses against her false claim.

Fucking deplorable, mate.

huge_gap · 2017-09-25T21:22:07+00:00

Torn labia could be anything dude... id get out now before you waste time and regret it because of her baggage later.

Swelfie · 2017-09-26T02:50:36+00:00

Dated ones that were awesome people. Dated ones that had hangups they never got over, and dated one that would drink, get punchie and scream rape before curling up in a ball sobbing. Some handle it and it's a bad thing that happened to them but life goes on. Others are batshit crazy. You don't know just from the event how she personally is.

From what you write though, she sounds okay.

yallapapi · 2017-09-26T05:51:24+00:00

Yeah man I don't know about this. But like other people said you can't be sure from just this comment. Maybe some kind of test, or planting a seed for a potential future manipulation.

Other than that though seems like she's a decent chick so just file it away in the back of your mind for now.

batfish55 · 2017-09-26T09:51:33+00:00

Finally a story like this that MIGHT have some kind of potential.

Still, a few things...

First...has she kept any contact with dad? A lot of times moms tells their kids lies about dad, just because they can be bitches and try to turn the kids against the guy she now hates.

I've never heard about a chick actually getting therapy about it. So...maybe?

Generally, I have two lines in this case:

1 - She's lying about it. And if she'll lie about another dude raping her, she ain't gonna think twice about lying that you raped her. Run.

2 - She's not lying about it. Is that baggage you want to deal with?

In this case, it sounds more like #2. If that's the case....get her shitfaced. Women wear masks. They show you who they think you want them to be. When you get them drunk enough, that mask slips off. See who she really is. See if she really is mostly past it.

Same reason you get the occasional belligerent drunk; they're angry inside.

....and if you DO get her shitfaced, DO NOT fuck her, no matter what. That's looking at a whoooole other rapey thing.

vandaalen · 2017-09-25T22:13:38+00:00

She is fucked in the head and is just able to hide it from you up to now. Women wear masks all the time and this is no exception.

Everything is just dandy, because you are still in the honeymoon phase and didn't experience really extreme situations. Push her to it and play some serious dread game and you will see what she is really like.

Let aside all those additional red flags you mentioned.

Demote to plate or yet better next. Don't stick your dick into crazy.

She is not relationship material.

All you other fucking white-knights in this thread, wanting him to play Captain SaveAHoe: Might your nutsack be caught in your jeans zipper tomorrow morning you fucking faggots.

internet_badass_here · 2017-09-25T23:26:42+00:00

Lots of guys here worrying about things she could do. It's been three months and she hasn't done anything wrong yet. As long as things keep going well I would keep dating her.

quicklogaccount · 2017-09-25T19:08:20+00:00

It doesn't look like she's fucked up in the head, does it? So I suppose it's cool.

Some stuff it's meant to be asked though. Did you have any other plate besides her when you chose to commit? Any chances you did it out of scarcity?

Nurses often work crazy hours in places filled with very high value men that often hit on them. Honestly, it's a bit of a deal breaker for me.

RPShitlord · 2017-09-25T19:27:10+00:00

She should have kept it to herself. If she ever uses it as an excuse to do or not do anything, dump her.

Radkin007 · 2017-09-26T07:57:08+00:00

Abandon ship mate. Damaged and desecrated goods are bad for your mind homie.

krefnasterploc · 2017-09-27T23:05:14+00:00

I mean you are free to let your DNA die. In fact it's probably better for the earth. Natural cleanup.

Let the alphas breed who can manage kids and women

Also LOL at whoever thinks a husband has to let the wife have half of anything or his money lol

ChemaCB · 2017-12-08T05:11:26+00:00

Would someone mind explaining or pointing me in the direction of why guys are so scared of women who have been raped? When I read this post I was like "I don't get the question, she's great in all these different ways, and open about her past, isn't that a good thing?" But I clearly don't know something you guys know. Care to enlighten me?

Zanford · 2017-09-26T02:38:03+00:00

TRP comes down pretty hard on girls like this, calling them damaged goods or not your problem to fix or liars or increased risks of false accusations against you.....and there's probably some statistical truth to that, compared to a similar girl WITHOUT that.

This girl sounds very reasonable, though, like she is level headed and not looking for you to 'fix' her and not using this for manipulative sympathy.

I wouldn't worry or do anything about it, really. Just run comfort on her if or when it comes up again.

If she ever plays it as a card to 'win' an argument or something out of you, though, major red flag.

(And, uh, maybe keep a dropbox of some records of her enthusiastically writing to you about sex with you. Or see if she wants to make some sexy pics/vids with or for you. Good idea in any case.)

gschweska · 2021-11-03T13:55:54+00:00

Ugh the language you are using is a huge red flag I hope she got away from you

Kommanderdude · 2017-09-25T19:06:06+00:00

Op you’re gf has regret rape. She got black out drunk and chose to fuck one or more guys and regretted it later because it made her feel like a slut. It went unreported because deep down she liked it and she knew there was no way she could prove she was legitimately raped. Regret rape is one of the biggest red flags of all.

Drop this piece of shit ho. She ain’t no unicorn. That’s for damn sure.

DatingCoach111 · 2017-09-26T02:17:45+00:00

If she hasn't been exhibiting any issues after three months, the only person having an issue with it is you.

Title	Dating a rape survivor
Author	billybobsbouncer
Upvotes	35
Comments	77
Date	September 25, 2017 6:56 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/72elr7/dating_a_rape_survivor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dating-a-rape-survivor.499 https://theredarchive.com/post/499

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