Does it get lonely at the top?

AmIDyslexicStoner419 · 2020-06-01T14:24:28+00:00

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shouldergirdle · 2020-06-01T15:57:48+00:00

Mid 50s selfmade multimillionaire International business man. Lifting for over a decade, 16% BF.

Is Your Life Relatively normal: Yes. You don't become successful overnight. It takes decades and when it happens, you don't feel successful. During the time when you are working your ass off trying to make it, your life is normal. I take out the garbage, cook half of my own meals. Wife bitches at me, kids disrespect me. All normal day to day life stuff.

Do you feel isolated: I own and run a big company. I deal with big company problems, lots of risk, lots of high level financial stuff. There are not many people like me around that I can share with. I have joined a Mastermind group of company CEOs that meets 6 times a year. Otherwise I have no one to talk with about business problems. I like to enjoy a bit of the good life, luxury hotels, fine dinning, exotic vacations. My current friend group can't afford that lifestyle, so that's isolating. It's hard to find someone that can afford to hang with me. So when i want to do the luxury lifestyle stuff, I'm paying.

Has Life Improved Drastically: I would say life is the same for me and my wife as it is for our friends in the same stage of life. House paid off, financially secure, we worry about our kids, our aging parents and our health. We have more money but it doesn't really come into play day to day. For example, I could buy a mansion and a Ferrari, but I would rather downsize my house and I can't deal with the pain in the ass of maintaining another car. Becoming successful really means taking on a lot of responsibility and dealing with a lot of risk. It's a high price to pay but I think it is better than being poor.

Do you feel a Sense of Enlightenment: No. I grind it out every day just like anyone else. To be successful you have to grow everyday. You can't sit still and smell the roses. No sense of enlightenment from that. However, being an older guy I am able to look around and see how the world works. So I guess I have that kind of enlightenment.

dtyler86 · 2020-06-01T20:23:46+00:00

Incredibly isolating. Your friends now are likely your friends for trivial reasons, maybe you have some of the same vices, maybe you are both conveniently similar socially. These friends often don’t want to see you succeed because it is a stark mirror reflecting back at them that they are not successful. Only your other successful friends will congratulate you and encourage your mission. The women you reject will call you names, attack your masculinity, your friends that you no longer have as much time to see will call you arrogant, your focus on finances will be regarded as greedy and selfish and unnecessary. The biggest thing I never expected was that the more successful you become, it often is paralleled with consistent learning on the side. I never stop learning and in a fact, I now see the world in a very negative and very different way. Those same previously mentioned friends that are not a successful I now have less respect for. Not because I am “better than them“, but because I strive to be a better version of myself and a lot of them don’t. They have no plans for themselves, no ambition to achieve anything, and at the end of the day they want to try to lean on the old tropes about money not buying happiness, and often they lean very socially and politically left to make their super blue pill laziness more reasonable to themselves.

Idris007 · 2020-06-01T14:24:52+00:00

Good question and nicely worded. Just here for the answers

mrrooftops · 2020-06-01T20:58:09+00:00

You surround yourself with quality, not quantity like you do when you're young. Choose who you spend your time with selectively because you'll never feel more lonely surrounded by the many more people you don't connect with. All things going well, you'll become a connoisseur of fine people, as much as you are one they select to associate with. You'll only get lonely if you can't find inspiring people to know, but don't fall into the trap of filling that void with too many sycophantic ass kissers, it rots the teeth of your character.

0ggles · 2020-06-01T18:41:21+00:00

Yes, as a programmer. I am constantly improving my systems and scaling. Creating multiple streams of income. I can work from anywhere remotely, but it does not make a difference. IRL, it is difficult to find people who are on the same level mentally and financially. Once you reach the top, you view people and society differently.

gGrillz · 2020-06-01T19:33:41+00:00

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Natural_Singer · 2020-06-01T19:54:03+00:00

No. It doesn't have to be if you're surrounded by men of similar status.

It gets very lonely for men who make the climb alone. Once they reach the top, it might be hard to find others in their position who weren't already established because they had their community already since birth.

PreEntertain · 2020-06-01T18:57:50+00:00

I like your discipline but I worry you aren't enjoying your journey enough. Drop some acid and get blasted once in a while.

It's the climb, brother.

33, reached my goals and didnt make any more yet. I'm in a great place but definitely miss chompin at the bit, slayin' strays, and pushing people out of my way

skyrunner22 · 2020-06-01T16:14:37+00:00

All I can say is it does get lonely but you need to meet likeminded people who you actually like being around. May be very difficult. Also dont make huge sacrifices if your goal is some big destination in far future. You might arrive there and it doesnt seem soo big and is not what you expected but you cant go back on major sacrifice.

Best way to combat that is balance, everything in moderation, which means you CAN have some fun when you are younger. Dont sacrifice youth/time and be stuck looking back. While your nose is to grindstone, look up every now and then and enjoy the roses around, you will not get that time back

Vloneturtle · 2020-06-01T22:05:29+00:00

This post motivated the sh*t out of me. Glad to see that there are more men out there going through the same journey as me. Keep going brothers

chazthundergut · 2020-06-01T22:12:10+00:00

Heavy lies the crown

axiscontra · 2020-06-01T22:01:50+00:00

Alone but never lonely. My friends are whoever I decide to engage in at the time. It's my choice and thats what this about having the power of choice.

itsamesss · 2020-06-02T08:35:10+00:00

I spent my 20s working hard as fuck in school, staying healthy with running and the gym and making good friends (both men and women). I dated here and there, I’d say I had a low n count but it was enough at the time. I’m decent looking (my face is great, body is good, just average height however).

Fast forward 15 years and I’m an interventional cardiologist and director of our hospitals’ cath lab. I’m fun and do adventurous stuff (heli-ski, travel to exotic places, backpack, run marathons, do triathlons, etc). I still go out but man it’s great to have much much much more money than before. I’ve fucked so many nurses and other staff even married ones (well, 3 so far).

Work hard and make good guy friends. You’ll go far.

OlderRedBrother · 2020-06-01T15:52:39+00:00

Great question

I have a few goals in my life but really my first mission is to obtain freedom and autonomy.

So naturally, I’m saving up as much cash money as I can, building my FUCK YOU Find a Cash so that at a certain point, I’ll only be working for fun and not because I have to :)

I don’t want to retire ever, I want to work the rest of my life… I just want to work on projects of my choosing that appeal to me

The other skill I’m looking at building is becoming a decent handyman and learning how to maintain a Homestead. that’s going to be a main endeavor of mine this summer.

i will day this ——

I haven’t achieved my angles yet but I am a 31 year old and I have noticed what you speak of. So many of my friends from earlier in my life have completely started to live different lives… Getting sucked into the 9-to-5 career bullshit… Consumerism… Expensive girlfriend or an expensive wife… Expensive home in the suburbs…

It’s like, bro you literally make 2-3x as much money as me LOL but your expenses are just high

My expenses are low as fuck, I am saving Mad cash though because my expenses are super small… Religiously lifting and working on my body… And at this point in my life style freedom is just so great that 50-75% of the year I literally do whatever the fuck I want that day.

it’s a pretty sweet feeling, being 31 years old and I am getting to the point where i know i can pretty much fuck any woman I want to, besides maybe super rich/famous women

because the ultimate masculine imperative is achieving your own freedom

(also, lift weights , build muscles, invest and a proper skin care routine, and stack cash… And your SMV will be high as fuck)

I am also lucky in the sense that I spent the last five years of my 20s being a free agent and working on my game. No serious girlfriends during that time. But I got good as fuck at socializing with people, not being memorable, charming, being interesting… And being able to almost always effortlessly approach any woman that I want to

Sorry for the humble brag, I definitely don’t have everything figured out and of course I still get schooled by life sometimes… But so far this year has been the best year of my life and I am really proud of the things I stand for

I hope this post about building your body… Saving as much money as you possibly can for your fuck you find… And placing achieving freedom at the top of your list of life missions as your priority… Bro you are going to be a pussy slayer

turbospeedsc · 2020-06-02T00:07:35+00:00

Yes, being in charge is often lonely, you cant go with your coworkers and get shitfaced, because you're the boss. You start to mistrust people intentions all the time, and you have to realize, that most friends and girls will be gone once power is gone. This comes from a mid to high position i held for 6 years, think COO at state level 300ish people.

Is it worth it?? hell yeah!!! power is damn addictive, and one of the things a man has to experience, money is good, but power is AWESOME.

usedtimecapsule · 2020-06-02T01:14:11+00:00

It sure is lonely at the bottom too.

The world is a lonely place.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-06-02T01:40:08+00:00

For those of you who are older or are subjectively successful, would you say your life is relatively normal/isolated or has improve drastically?

My life feels "normal" to me but wouldn't to others. I'm happier now than when I had to turn up at an office every day. I still work but have a lot of discretion over the conditions under which I spend my time, etc. Having that kind of control over your life is a huge deal.

My days are generally predictable, so pre-quarantine, I'd get up, have coffee, check emails figure out what the day was going to look like, head off for a sauna, etc. Grill & Chill by my pool for lunch, handle whatever conference calls I had that day, and so on and so forth. If I want to have one of my girls over during the day, I do it. If I have one over in winter then it's wine by the fire.

At 24, I stay focused on my purpose by keeping my head down and blinders up. I lift and invest in myself by giving up consumerism for long term gain, spin plates when time permits and keep my circle pretty small. Moreover, I abstain from drugs and alcohol.

All good things. If you read the "After Hours" and "Advice for Young Men" sections of "CorporteLand" you will find some useful advice there, in terms of lifestyle.

For those of you who have reached a level of self-actualization, do you feel a sense of enlightenment?

So you still have to deal with the vagaries of day to day life, but in general your life can be as seamless as you want it to be. Getting back to what I said earlier, there is a lot of happiness that comes from having control over how and under what conditions you spend your time. It also helps that my Frame is basically made out of titanium steel. It won't be that way for guys just starting out, but when it happens for you, it's life-changing.

ivanbxng · 2020-06-02T02:32:16+00:00

I’m in no way successful yet but lately I’ve been focusing on working hard. Training 6 hours a day to become a pro boxer but I also found that giving yourself 1-2 hours to just be grateful does wonders.

Like I’m training non stop but I make time for my bros to just chill and enjoy the momento. After that we just go back to our grind and thats it.

I guess finding the perfect group of friends is key, like my 4 closest friends are red pill and always on their purpose so all of us motivate each other. And after one of us achieves his goal we celebrate and party like mad men 😂

absolutelynp · 2020-06-01T20:10:11+00:00

do you feel a sense of enlightenment?

bro it can go either way...I was on a good path at 24 too, but it can change quick, you values can shift and what you want from life...there is even a chance that you regret that you spent your time investing in the future and not living in the present for example. but in general, good idea what your doing I guess.

Noodlesoupe2 · 2020-06-01T23:44:31+00:00

Nah if you’re so hyper focused on someone else’s definition of success that you don’t enjoy life that’s not success. I have no problem with working hard to attain success but I also try to enjoy my life as much as possible

Joe_Doblow · 2020-06-02T03:27:53+00:00

No. You don’t get to the top alone

Shackrats · 2020-06-01T22:13:22+00:00

For those of you who are older or are subjectively successful, would you say your life is relatively normal/isolated or has improve drastically

I am a nationally-known veteran and para athlete and while women line up to fuck me, I am incredibly alone.

I have slept with over a hundred women, I am as far as ever from having a wife and kids. It agonizes me.

Altin_Beg · 2020-06-02T02:37:37+00:00

Even before you reach it. On the road to the top you’ll have to sacrifice many things, including your social life. Many people can’t relate to that so they’ll think you’re lame or weird. Their loss

Velebit · 2020-06-02T03:39:53+00:00

The biggest mistake of the trp narrative you often get is that it treats humanity as 2 monolitic blocks. 'Women are all like x and men are like y' which is utter nonsense and a lie. Learning about hbd or HUMAN BIO DIVERSITY is absolutely key.

Humans vary massively by traits. Traits are mostly influenced by genes and have only a small effect from nurture. For example while everyone can exercise, what drives people to work out and stick to it is highly genetic and highly heritable.

If you have traits that are:

*being high in impulse control (not giving in to temptation and ability to dely gratificatiin)

*high conscienceousness

*low neuroticism

*high industriousness

This means that you are K selected. This means your basic brain wiring is to lead (and be satisfied with) what is in biology called 'K selected' behavior or in sociology 'slow life history strategy'.

The way you are means you can't just be a sociopathic, hedonistic materialist. A lone wolf that is just set out to itch a scratch... usually by raw pleasures, thrills and status flexing on others.

You can be a lone wolf but that will come with costs, costs on what makes you feel fulfilled and satisfied and you can already feel that this egotistic (im enough for myself, im myowngod) thing does not fit you. People who it fits never even arrive to the point of questioning it. The very act of questioning it comes from deep withing, an instinctive sense of things not being right.

Your satisfaction lies in having a wife, kids and a community you care about, not merely being a workhorse now so you can enjoy things when you are already old enough that most things lost their spice and taste.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is allowing to be influenced by old materialist hedonists, type of men who at 40 are in night clubs. Basically a symbol of the civilizational ruin of our age.

RealJoeDee · 2020-06-02T13:05:41+00:00

Yes and no. There's fewer winners at the top, so it's a smaller peer group and can be more difficult to make newer friends. This is where 48 Laws come to mind about protecting your reputation at all costs. Because it's a smaller group it's easier to burn bridges and get ostracized.

erottawa · 2020-06-02T13:39:41+00:00

I'm a successful lawyer in my 40s. I have a gorgeous house in the countryside and am established enough in my career that I can work from home 3 or 4 days a week. I get my work done fast and so I have lots of time for hobbies, friends and family. Life is good. I worked hard when I was young and so I can relax more now.

But I don't feel a sense of "enlightenment", whatever that really is. I feel the exact same as I always did. Same person through and through. I grew up in a tough blue collar area and am still the same ruffian underneath the veneer of success. I don't consider myself "at the top", athough my family income is definitely top 1%. And no, I'm not lonely. I can connect with people of all income strata and backgrounds - that's a skill to hone since it is useful.

You need to stay focussed on the future, but not at the expense of the present. Don't forget to live for the here and now. You have 24 hours every day - spend roughly 8 hours working (focussing on the future), 8 hours sleeping and 8 hours playing. There's lots of time to do both work and play, as long as you don't waste too much time.

BlackFire68 · 2020-06-01T17:58:07+00:00

If your path isn’t fairly lonely and difficult, it isn’t the path to success, that’s certain. I keep hearing people talk about a destination.. but a lot of guys don’t know how to pick a point to slow down and “retire”. Once you do that, things are as lonely (or not) as you choose.

Title	Does it get lonely at the top?
Author	gGrillz
Upvotes	152
Comments	122
Date	June 1, 2020 2:04 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gul7k4/does_it_get_lonely_at_the_top/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/does-it-get-lonely-at-the-top.670007 https://theredarchive.com/post/670007

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