3 hours. zero approaches

yeahthatslifedarling · 2022-09-26T01:09:28+00:00

Yea. Been there, done that.

Review the cost of action : rejection, humiliation, reputation destruction, lost girl forever

Review the cost of inaction : infinitely worse

Seriously, if you get thrown in the curbs and you -actually- learn something, you win.

Fuck your wingman, are you gonna make him hold the candle at the date, the wedding and the cemetery? It's all on you. Really is. Actually, it's so on you, it's beyond your imagination.

Let's see. Your father and his 100090007573737395 generations behind made it, and you can't?

Put on Nike shoes.

bytheninedivines · 2022-09-26T00:21:03+00:00

Watch social animal on youtube.

I've been there though. I spent all of last summer going out where I'd be too afraid to talk to anyone. Hell, it still happens to me.

The one thing I've found to work is to not think about it. The 3 second rule is real! I've had my best interactions when I don't overthink beforehand. If you're worried about what to say, you've already lost. Why should you care what some random person thinks about you anyways?

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-09-26T00:04:16+00:00

You went out and tried, congratulations!

Maybe you'll have better luck developing some forward momentum if you break the problem down into smaller chunks.

How are you at the precursors to an approach? Can you make and hold eye contact with a passerby? Can you smile at them? Maybe even say hi as you go by?

jonxl86 · 2022-09-26T00:11:57+00:00

Bro NYC is the best place for this! Manhattan has so many spots where people hang out and chill.

habitabo_veritate · 2022-09-26T02:40:07+00:00

It’s all about time and place. Sometimes, the time isn’t right, sometimes it is the place. But on those rare occasions where you’re at your place at the right time, it hits you while you are completely unaware.

Imo, the more time you spend in places you like, the more often a good encounter is to occur.

lifeintraining · 2022-09-26T03:45:45+00:00

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Succumbing to intrusive thoughts like this only make things worse as it causes new anxieties that you need to overcome. Just reassure yourself that even if you failed this time that you can do this no matter how many attempts it takes.

Start small, talk to a few guys casually. Just focus on enjoying yourself with no pressure to win. Get comfortable being uncomfortable then work your way up to approaching women. You’ll get there man, just stay positive and take small steps.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-26T06:55:15+00:00

Anxiety is not a bug in a system, it is protecting your self-esteem from receiving heavy mental blows from mindless actions. Before you start approaching, you should maximize your confidence level and feeling of high value. By receiving positive feedback from yourself and environment, it should eventually snowball towards a success.

It is not good to approach indifferent girls when you feel down.

meAADIL · 2022-09-26T07:29:06+00:00

...get a cute Dog and go for morning walks. And dog parks will be a good place to begin.

revente · 2022-09-27T00:53:28+00:00

Don't beat yourself too much over this. Most guys do zero cold approaches over their entire lives.

But my advice is : there are no magic tricks. You won't be able to cold approach unless you FORCE YOURSELF to do it.

You have everything you need to do it. Just start fucking walking.

It will feel scary af. But you're 100% able to do it.

J_Lamsauce · 2022-09-26T04:42:46+00:00

I started solo daygame this summer and have done exactly what you have described more than once. And it is very frustrating.

You feel like when you’re with your buddies you can laugh about the rejection, they’re your safety net, and it feels a whole lot easier. But they won’t be there for you at all times.

I advise to kill AA, the first approach for a session you actually wanna be direct. This will give you an instant accept or reject and also show you that it’s ok to talk to random girls and express your interest. Not a fan of the weird “what’s the time” shit. A true indirect opener is made up on the spot.

I can now go out to a mall and talk to girls but now I struggle to do this on college campuses now that school has started up again. If you wanna talk about this and throw some thoughts around feel free to message me.

maxpossimpible · 2022-09-26T12:50:28+00:00

Start slow. Just walk up to someone that's watching something and ask what they're looking at. Take the answer and walk away.

Do that 20 times.

Then try to start a small conversation after you got the answer... After that conversation is done - walk away.

Do that 20 times...

Then work in some flirting during the conversation... And then walk away...

Do that 20 times...

Then try to get their number after there's some type of rapport built.

zapadz · 2022-09-25T22:21:19+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJKiFisdi5g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

staggerlee718nyc · 2022-09-25T22:19:16+00:00

Please don't do that man. I live here. I don't need weirdos running around and creeping girls out. Can't you go to a lively bar or a club like a normal person and where( you know, girls who want to meet someone go at night.

IceMysterious4265 · 2022-09-26T00:48:51+00:00

Don't bother with cold approach. It's usually extremely useless anyway. Unless you have amazing looks or great game you are just waiting your time.

mfposgbcs · 2022-09-26T00:10:17+00:00

What's AA?

rahhumilovedogs · 2022-09-26T00:44:03+00:00

Are you in Manhattan? You know you're a ghost there, right?

mjornir · 2022-09-26T01:45:30+00:00

dude dont be so hard on yourself, sometimes you arent gonna be in the space for it and thats fine. besides, approaching should not be the sole reason you're out and about-it should be a thing you do at your convenience, when you're already out for something else and the mood just happens to strike you. i think you'll find it easier if you just go do things you enjoy and be happy; then not only will you want to approach more and enjoy interactions more but women will also pick up on your positive vibe and you may be more likely to have success

mandoa_sky · 2022-09-26T02:12:44+00:00

join a hobby club. less approaching pressure.

iceking123 · 2022-09-26T02:44:55+00:00

Approaching a woman is like a muscle. You gotta start somewhere. Just keep at it and try again next day or so. You got this

HentaiMD · 2022-09-26T03:28:57+00:00

OP please please don’t beat yourself too much for it. However know that you’re in the absolute best city in the US to practice your daytime cold-approach skill. No other city offers such dense environment, so please don’t squander this opportunity

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-26T04:08:33+00:00

Do gradual exposure. Ask someone for the time or where a place is at, and then move on.

Radicalmattitude1 · 2022-09-26T04:29:29+00:00

You just have to break it down a little further. Just smile at people, look then in the eye and give them a head nod as you pass by. Then start saying “how’s it going” as you pass by. Then start doing walk-by compliments - “like your shirt!” , “nice hat” etc. then work your way up to stopping someone and having a convo with them. If you’re out for 3 hours, might as well take the first half hour doing warm ups.

TheTruth221 · 2022-09-26T08:31:10+00:00

take your time its a lifestyle not a countdown

ftdrain · 2022-09-26T10:00:16+00:00

Dont force the vibe, I find that a little bit of alcohol and talking to other people, such as the barman, gets me in the mood to approach, my success rate when approaching is pretty high because I also wait for IOIs, which I get all the time when I go out, working out and getting a Chad body helps

Granny_Killa · 2022-09-26T12:40:51+00:00

Hey man. Don't end up like me. At least 10 years since I started in this sub and still can't approach.

Where will you be in 10 years?

Amacwolfgang · 2022-09-26T12:41:45+00:00

Approach with no intention initially. Just say Hi to 5 girls a day. Once that gets easy, pay a compliment and make eye contact to 5 girls (with no intention behind it). After a week you will be surprised how you feel and you will naturally learn a lot. The rejections build confidence too because they are almost never as bad as you'd think they would be.

Ok-Marionberry-8669 · 2022-09-26T17:50:26+00:00

You have nothing to say, of course it's embarrassing

justlookingforadvise · 2022-09-26T19:46:35+00:00

If you're going out to store coffee place and stuff try taking to the waitress or staff people as a warm up, build your confidence up and then start talking

Title	3 hours. zero approaches
Author	sandywreckedmybodega
Upvotes	73
Comments	123
Date	September 25, 2022 10:18 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xo0un5/3_hours_zero_approaches/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/3-hours-zero-approaches.1249365 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249365

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