Always approach. One thing will lead to another, and it will make a huge impact on your life. Want an example? This JUST happened.

dont_be_stupid · 2012-03-14T01:14:41+00:00

I was hoping you were going to nail her on the table in the Starbucks infront of everyone, but this is good too

chosonhawk · 2012-03-14T02:02:00+00:00

Further confirmation that much of "seduction" is really nothing more complicated than simply being a confident, better version of yourself. Nicely done.

timmyburns · 2012-03-13T22:36:39+00:00

I'm not a /r/seduction reader, but I'd like to point out what I feel was the most important part of the whole story:

outcome independent

Not having any ties to the outcome of an event is paramount, not only with socializing, but in life (my humble opinion)

By not associating your interactions with any outcome, you allow the event to unfold in a more natural way, which increases the chances of a positive outcome greatly.

Pure conjecture. I'm just speaking of my life experience. I'm glad you saw some really positive results to your interaction!

catchthisfade · 2012-03-13T22:30:56+00:00

A motivating read. Thank you for posting this.

lookiamapollo · 2012-03-14T04:20:44+00:00

BE BARNEY STINSON AND GOOD THINGS HAPPEN OP

Jdogg420 · 2012-03-14T17:37:16+00:00

Okay, since some people were asking for a more in-depth description of the encounter, here it is. I'll skip the part with the older guy.

So in my original post I simplified the opener so that the post wouldn't get too long - and after all, my opening was not the focus of the original post. What ACTUALLY happened was that I went up to the counter and bought a fruit bowl, then while I was grabbing napkins and a spoon I see these two German Shepherd puppies outside. Start the encounter.

Me: I kinda lean over towards her and ask "Can you see those two dogs out there? They're really cute"
Her: "Where?" looks up, finally sees them and her face lights up "Aww they're so cute!"
Me: "I used to have a German Shepherd as a kid. We would command her in German too. When we let her outside she would chase the neighbors dog up and down the fence. We actually had to buy a whole new fence because they pushed it over. Are you a dog person at all?"
Her: "Yeah actually! I used to have a German shepherd too. I really want a dog but I don't have the ability to take care of one right now. I do want one though, I'd just have to wait until this whole period of my life is over." at this point her body language is such that I can tell she's interested in conversation. I also noticed the ring on her finger. Bummer.
Me: "Well that's good, I know so many people that just wanted a dog and got one without seriously analyzing whether or not they can take care of the dog. But you said that you're going through a certain period of your life, what period is that?"
Her: "Well I'm working for a Financial Services company, trying to establish myself, and settle down a little bit. I'm here working on getting some of my professional finance licenses (I forget what they were called)."
Me: Oh so you work in Finance! That's awesome, I'm a Finance major. What's the nature of your work?
Insert blab about how her company tries to help middle-income families achieve financial independence.
I bring up my investment portfolio and how I got interested in Finance, and the conversation steers towards her trying to invite me to her office for financial advice. I tried to steer the topic away from that because I'm totally not interested in that, I already have my own portfolio set up.
Eventually, she changes the subject and asks "Well have you thought about maybe working for a financial firm to expand your background and beef up your resume?"
Me: barely concealed smile "I mean, my resume is already pretty beefy but there's nothing Finance-specific on there. Are you talking about an internship?"
Her: "Well yeah. Our company is growing so you definitely have a good shot."
Blah Blah random small talk blah blah
Her: "Well I'll tell you what. Write down your information and I'll send you a text message with our office address. Friday at 1:45 we're having a company meeting to discuss our quarterly performance and take stock of where we stand in the marketplace. Are you available then?"
Me: "Let me check... Yeah it looks like I'm free."
more small talk
Me: Alright well this is very exciting! I'm looking forward to hearing from you and coming to the event Friday! --Close--

2012-03-14T09:40:05+00:00

It's so true! Until recently, I would only approach if I thought "I want to hook up with this girl."

On Sunday, I was hung over. I left my apartment to go to the small restaurant down the street where I usually eat. As I was walking, I saw two very attractive women try to go into a restaurant and realize that it was closed. "Do you want to get some food? I'll show you the best place around here." Bam. I spent the next hour chatting up these two beautiful women. One is a nurse, the other is a coordinator, they both work for a plastic surgeon's clinic in another city. They bought me lunch.

So what did I get out of this interaction? I got a free lunch and a confidence boost out of it, maybe that's not much. But if I hadn't approached them, I would have made some bullshit excuse to myself and then had lunch alone. My day was much more interesting because I approached.

choc_is_back · 2012-03-14T13:34:17+00:00

As somebody who landed an awesome job once by passing by the office building of a company I happened to admire, deciding to walk in on a whim and say hi, I say: amen brother. Good luck and hope you get the internship!

blue_moose · 2012-03-14T14:48:18+00:00

Ok, I am just starting in the scene and I'm wondering what you said after you brought her attention to the puppies outside? It probably went something like this:

You:"Wow, aren't these two puppies the cutest creatures ever?" She:"Yeah, they really are..."

How did you continue the chat? :O

ShittyPUAadvice · 2012-03-14T06:55:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

maxd · 2012-03-14T05:24:46+00:00

Late 20s is not an "older" woman.

:P

Ledatru · 2012-03-14T04:21:21+00:00

AKA making friends...

Jdogg420 · 2012-03-14T05:28:58+00:00

Maybe the "random old guy" is her boss

IthinktherforeIthink · 2012-03-14T16:08:24+00:00

Can you go into more detail about how you started that conversation?

circa7 · 2012-03-14T16:13:12+00:00

This is why I like working at coffee shops vs holed up in my room

Jdogg420 · 2012-03-14T16:43:06+00:00

By the way guys, I wanted to say thanks. I've never had a post with this many upvotes. My only hope is that this post inspires other sedditors to overcome their AA and improve their lives. :)

oreopimp · 2012-03-14T17:01:44+00:00

Common sense. People should already realize 'approach anxiety' is wired deep into the brain and hard to subdue and approaching anyone becomes easier the more you do it because you have more reference experiences where you didn't die, suddenly burst into flames, or face some form of ultimate mockery and as such you are able to override that little voice in your mind that floods you with feelings of fear and avoidance, and you're able to take a deep breath and trust yourself that you got this.

I don't recommend the use of specific lines but if you want a really great starter for this go up to a girl and say something like: "I know this is going to sound crazy and you probably get this from guys all the time...but do you have the time?" (it gives you an in for interaction and gives you and your mind an out because all you want is the time, so you have a way to specifically start and end an interaction. Do this 20 times in a day I'm sure you'll start to open it up more and more and more until you're cool being able to just say "Hi" and leave things open ended, you'll no longer need that self-imposed ejection to feel safe)

It's all about building trust with yourself. Once you know your relationship with yourself, you can push yourself farther and further and know you'll be OKAY.

dungeon-us-crab · 2012-03-14T18:26:33+00:00

Nice dude...that's a totally natural situation approach that is just great for all parties. A lot of times I see people doing approaches here that are just a bit too...cold. I'm a much bigger proponent of the "warm opener" and this is a great example.

I need to spend more time at Starbucks.

2012-03-14T22:24:16+00:00

this is true. my dad always gave me this advice because it's what got him to his level of success. there's nothing to lose by being open and showing interest in other people, but there's everything to gain. he always made the analogy to salesmen of all types: they've got nothing to lose by telling everybody about the product their selling, but only more customers to gain. dating is no different.

str3Z · 2012-03-14T07:02:36+00:00

You go to Baruch don't you?

royisabau5 · 2012-03-14T02:47:32+00:00

You can't say every approach makes a huge difference, dude. I can tell you're excited, but usually when people say "this will happen" they mean "it happened to me."

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