Another failed date

lordbyron0001 · 2022-05-07T11:34:43+00:00

Only you know whether it was smooth or not, whether the setting and the moment were appropriate or not. The bottom line, she said no.

Don't message her; if she does, good for you; otherwise, move on.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-05-07T14:16:37+00:00

Number one, your frame of mind. “I was afraid…”

Number two, the weird short speech before the kiss. Just go for it.

Like others said, you were acting like a friend from the beginning

Yerebeets · 2022-05-07T11:07:08+00:00

Don’t tell her you’re going to kiss her, don’t tell her you pussied out the last time. Show that with your actions. But you unfortunately already missed the chance with this one, learn from it and do better next time.

emil133 · 2022-05-07T15:56:39+00:00

Its usually a bad idea to tell her that you lacked the confidence to do it the last time. Next time if the vibe is right, just lean in and go for it. Id suggest trying that after something more intimate like drinks or something, and not a badminton hangout

AgileDoughnut555 · 2022-05-07T13:14:31+00:00

The more you text her, the more you friendzone yourself. You need to let her initiate most of the texts. And when she does, don’t respond so quickly. Texting is just a tool for setting up dates, nothing more.

Dates are about one or two things: getting to know each other emotionally and physically. Badminton had little chance of turning into sex. That’s not a romantic date. You need to set up your dates more intentionally.

Then you spilled the beans and told her how much you liked her after receiving little physical affection from her. Meanwhile she is probably banging some other guy. Hard truth, but you put yourself into the friendzone here by overpursuing and treating her like a friend.

rhofire · 2022-05-07T12:50:41+00:00

What did I do wrong here?

It was over by the time you went on the first date. All the stuff you've been doing has nothing to do with attracting a woman. You were acting like she's a friend from the beginning.

Still, we text almost daily and sometimes in a flirty manner.

You're not helping yourself here. Yeah, that's what people on here will tell you to do. But, it's wrong. You shouldn't waste so much of your time and energy with a girl you're not in a relationship with. That's part of the reason why she sees you as a buddy.

I was afraid to make a move

Until you address this issue, that's what your life is going to be in relation to women.

eszibit · 2022-05-07T12:25:39+00:00

so, let's analyze objectively.

on the plus side, she clearly likes you ( we'll see if as a friend or more )

you had 4 dates

you 2 have fun together

you talk everyday.

On the minus side

you've been a little bitch about kissing her

you told her you're a little bitch

you tried to kiss her and got rejected

So... You're either in the friendzone because you didn't act in time, because you're not her sexual type ( and just wants to be friends ) or you made it weird and when you went for the kiss she got scared and pulled away.

This is what i'd do.

Go into the next date with 2 objectives clear in my mind, to have fun/flirt and to kiss her.

If she let's you kiss her you know what to do

If she doesn't, you need to make a choice if you want her as a friend ( but it will suck balls ) or just start giving the relationship some room. Stop texting everyday, stop setting up dates and focus on yourself and other women. Girls respond different to this, some chase you because they realize your worth, some let you go.

MrWolffman · 2022-05-07T12:11:08+00:00

Okay now I'm just fucking confused.

She texted me and said she had a great time and asked for my number so she can mobilepay me?

chad2192 · 2022-05-07T16:33:01+00:00

She's not interested and sees you as a friend. Sorry buddy

MeteoraRed · 2022-05-07T16:47:11+00:00

It's alright, you shouldn't have mentioned about guts thing that reduces your status as a confident guy, hence chances are that she will value less, although its fine still you have time, create scarcity next time, let her text you 1st then you reply with a delay that further date will be delayed because you're having a busy week, (it's hard to game of self-control I know but worth, as it keeps her waiting) and yes fo try to read good books on dating, ping me for good ones.

mattgk39 · 2022-05-07T18:56:08+00:00

You’ve been on three dates before this and talk almost daily for 3-4 months and you haven’t even kissed her yet. There’s your mistake. Always go for the kiss on the first date unless you’re just not feeling it and don’t want to see her or it’s obvious she doesn’t want to see you again. Also how old are you?

Humble-Language1269 · 2022-05-07T19:37:37+00:00

You need to relax, keep it to drinks when you are first dating. If she shows up she's attracted to you. Don't act nervous or scared, she's there because she likes you. Once she starts touching you, make the move. No speeches. Text for setting up the date, no texting to flirt. Texts should be used to coordinate the date, that's it

MrWolffman · 2022-05-07T14:31:05+00:00

> What did I do wrong here?

Someone else's reaction(s) to you rarely have anything to do with you.

She's clearly not fully interested but likes the attention and validation.

LilSkills · 2022-05-07T16:48:33+00:00

She's just not that into you. Move on

Everlast23 · 2022-05-07T16:52:55+00:00

I think that if a kiss doesn't happen by the 2nd date, your footing is now already messed up.

Iamallthereis · 2022-05-07T17:34:31+00:00

Also 3 dates max if you don’t score by the third date drop them. Save your time and resources. Think of it like this while you’re on your fourth date she’s going home with someone on the first.

wolvtongue · 2022-05-07T19:02:49+00:00

Move on kid.

bobsbitchtitz · 2022-05-07T22:24:53+00:00

It's not a formula, it's not a failure. A woman is allowed to not be interested in you. The game is all about upping your chances but meeting and dating as many women as possible. There could be a billion reasons she didn't want to kiss you, no point in trying to figure out why.

Title	Another failed date
Author	MrWolffman
Upvotes	49
Comments	65
Date	May 7, 2022 11:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ukay30/another_failed_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/another-failed-date.1260277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260277

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