Anyone else feel like dating is completely pointless now?

-Skizzy · 2022-01-08T12:35:17+00:00

If you don’t want to work on yourself to attract someone, at least do it for yourself. Take care of your mental and physical health! Also enjoy the decline :)

gr3nade · 2022-01-08T17:51:41+00:00

You're placing too much importance on yourself and your worldview. You have to detach from expectation. You're thinking of "normalcy" as YOUR view of normalcy. There is no universal view of normalcy. Normalcy for a child growing up in the slums of India is poverty and struggling just to stay alive. Every single day of their life has been harder than yours or mine but they laugh and smile and live all the same. They have their own dreams and hopes and struggles and fears.

Normalcy for myself 6 years ago was daily depression and suicidal ideation. Normalcy for me now is working out a few times a week, rarely being super depressed and thinking about how I want to spend my weekends.

As humans, the world, our societies, our culture, our circle of friends and family, our relationships, our level of success, our bodies, our weight, our hormonal levels, our age, etc. will all change as we go through life. The world will shift rapidly in ways that we aren't used to and for us this won't seem "normal". This is where issues come in. We live in a world and based on that world we develop expectations and then the world changes and no longer meets our expectations and suddenly we feel like the world is shit and is not fair. But that's just a conceited view placing more importance on your own worldview than in the actual reality of the world.

For example, COVID isn't "normal" to most people. But for kids born 3 years ago, COVID and social distancing and masks are more "normal" than not having those things. Once this ends, the freedom of not distancing and not worrying about COVID will seem like a luxury to those kids while to us it'll just feel like business as usual. They'll feel like its a great privilege while we will feel like it's a restored right. So if another pandemic rolls up in a few years, we'll be furious and unhappy with restrictions again. But those kids will feel like, well I guess it's back to business as usual. Obviously this isn't a perfect example because 2 year olds don't care about this stuff but imagine COVID lasts 20 years. All us pre-covid people will still be talking about the good old days while the new kids will accept the new reality and get on with life.

It is our choice to either adapt to the changing realities of the world or stay locked into our one worldview and dismiss the world as shit for not sticking to it. When you accept the world for what it is, then you can navigate it. Say you grew up with a bridge that you use daily. Then, one day, when you're 25 an earthquake break that bridge and all the infrastructure around it. Now building a bridge there is no longer economically viable and not worth it for most people. The city decides not to rebuild the bridge. However, your job is across the bridge and now your commute takes an hour instead of 30 minutes. At this point, you can either accept that the bridge is gone and take the new commute without being mad about it because your job is worth it. Or you can accept that the bridge is gone and the commute is no longer worth it and find a new job. Or you can disagree that the bridge is no longer economically viable and gather enough people and support to push for the bridge to be rebuilt. Basically, you accept the reality and do something useful about it. That's the first choice. The second choice is you don't accept that the bridge is gone and you don't do anything about it except complain that the bridge is gone. You get more and more angry every day anger and yell at the city for not fixing a bridge that is no longer viable. And you can keep going to your job but hate the commute and as a result start to hate your job and hate the city even more for not rebuilding the bridge. The choice is yours. But the second one is just a waste of emotional energy for yourself. The first option allows you to accept the change and get on with your life. That's it. That's life.

Stop believing that the world needs to play by your rules. It doesn't. The world doesn't give a fuck about you or me or anyone in the entirety of the human race. We are nothing in the grand scheme of the universe. More than that, the world is "incapable" of giving a fuck about anything. It's a machine, it has certain rules it follows and they cannot be changed. But what people don't often recognize is that these rules are not your rules. They are simply the laws of physics. And these laws never took human emotion into account.

The world is not "fair" or "normal" by any human or moral metric. But it has been entirely and unflinchingly fair in the rules it plays by. And the rules it plays by is literally science. Gravity is still exactly the same as it was a billion years ago. Inertia, chemical reactions, atomic bonds, the speed of light, etc. are all the exact same as they ever were. This is the "fairness" of the world and these fundamental laws have never changed in the entire existence of the human race. But even these rules may change one day change. Billions of years from now after the extinction of all life and all the stars in our universe burn out who knows what will happen.

TL;DR - Meditate daily, even if for only 5 minutes. This helps you train your ability to detach from expectations and outcomes which allows you to accept the world for what it is, not what you want it to be. And only by accepting the world for what it is can you hope to change it for the better or atleast live your life in a healthy way. The world is not fair by human standards but it is unflinchingly fair by the laws of physics. Also, don't give up.

productive_guy123 · 2022-01-08T16:44:42+00:00

My advise is get off the internet, people arnt as divided in the real world as you think. The Most vocal voices will always be the unhappy ones

hotdezie · 2022-01-08T14:30:09+00:00

Please get back into self care, never let tht decline!!!!!!! And think, “As If”

ulyssesonyourscreen · 2022-01-08T19:22:15+00:00

I find myself on the total opposite side, everything is getting more fucked up and I just wanna look awesome and reach my 100% seductive self and start having fun like crazy, don’t give up and remember:

YOU GOTTA FIGHT! FOR YOUR RIGHT! TO PAAAAARRRTTYYYYY

oooliveoil · 2022-01-08T18:59:27+00:00

It will only get harder. You, as a strong person, have to go through with it and become better, cause that’s the only thint we can do. We can’t coward down or bitch.

StereoFood · 2022-01-08T17:22:39+00:00

I think what you mean is that most people are dumb as fuck. They don’t understand nuance. Things are just black and white. Like the politics thing you mentioned, everyone has to pick a side. Why is society so far gone from questioning everything?

HallPersonal · 2022-01-08T22:37:59+00:00

it depends on where you are, on the west coast (where i live) they are still taking covid very seriously, but on the east coast (where family lives) virtually nobody is wearing a mask.

regardless, keep working on yourself, at the very least do it for you because you can prevent irresponsible damage that letting yourself go will eventually do to you

2022-01-08T21:17:20+00:00

Do not let politics be an obstacle. If a woman tries getting political on a date, I will immediately tell her that politics are not hot. I will repeat "not hot" with emphasis. This lets her know that if she persists, she loses all hope of riding my dick that night.

headless-samurai · 2022-01-08T21:49:41+00:00

Make fun of everything. Be the funny fat guy. Work on style.

Im a "Hot guy", but i have some self esteme issues. I have been told im a solid 8, maybe even a 9. I have the same DAMN problems as you homie. Just get off your ass, and do the work. Get rejected. Dont wear your heart on your sleeve. Live dammit!

And if one thing doesn't work, try another thing. Add variation to the places you frequent. Your approach. And the girls you want to approach. Try girls slightly higher/lower than your attraction level. See what works.

And get confidence. Im not 100% on the "bang some hoodrats" method. But you gotta try somethin dude!

DONT GIVE UP!!!

JAE_7502 · 2022-01-08T18:47:50+00:00

Most people are chill people just living their lives and trying to do good for their friends and family. I live surrounded by all kinds of different people with different beliefs. We all get along because even if we are different we are all good and friendly people. If you are only reading stuff on the internet all day then the world seems like a horrible place. I’d recommend getting to know people in your local community and maybe even find some volunteer work you can do to help out. It really does give you a different way of viewing life when you are not paying much attention to all the garbage online.

notstevensegal · 2022-01-08T19:29:08+00:00

You’re fatigued. It’s all good. Take a break but get back on that fucking horse. You can do it.

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-01-08T19:55:26+00:00

Dude fuck no. I’m finally done with school, work remote now. I’m putting 100% focus on dating. Covid is not going to stop that for me; and if you go out you’ll see that it’s not stopping the chicks either

Unless you have some extremely important higher purpose besides getting good with girls that you’re spending all of your time on, fucking definitely keep going at it.

But no matter what, I think getting good w chicks is one of pillars of life, and if it’s missing nothing else can be really enjoyed.

2udaylatif · 2022-01-08T20:15:49+00:00

Sounds like you are depressed. Work on fixing your depression. Dating is the least of your concerns right now.

Alonso81687 · 2022-01-08T23:25:36+00:00

Nope.

supersoy1 · 2022-01-09T01:47:30+00:00

Work on yourself for yourself!

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-01-09T02:16:24+00:00

I think you should stop spending time on social media, mate.

It sounds like you are in the initial phase of a depression.

Ninjabread77 · 2022-01-09T05:35:13+00:00

So youre really losing hope because of what the world and the media seems to portray to you? Be in your own world, and follow Christ. He's the only one that can fill you in these "dark times." Get a grip, bro. Pick yourself up and keep going

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-01-09T11:37:04+00:00

Their are women neutral or have similar view points stick to those. If I go on a date an a girl is asking if I voted for trump or my political views shes probably not going to work out.

You have to find girls looking for love and romance not an identical robot. I have dated girls on both sides, liberal side we would tease each other but it was fun and we respected each other views.

Blend_of_air · 2022-01-09T12:22:24+00:00

There is far more to life than just dating (live a life man ) :-)

rustoof · 2022-01-08T23:02:28+00:00

You're severely depressed and should see a therapist before you become a danger to yourself.

You live in the wealthiest, safest and most comfortable time in human history. You believing like you do is completely unreasonable.

1hundredeight · 2022-01-08T18:54:06+00:00

You are not taking responsibility and are giving up control over yourself and your emotions to outside factors those are common reasons to feel depressed as you are.

You don't have to date if you don't feel like it, it will be worse if you do.

Find a purpose, good enough to stop bitching about the world, that should be your goal

Substantial_Smell_72 · 2022-01-09T00:23:36+00:00

Too broke to date. Guess I’ll focus on my career for a few years and my cold opens haha

succcondese · 2022-01-08T19:24:26+00:00

I like dating. being in love with someone makes me help forget how fucked up the world is

materialmemory45 · 2022-01-09T03:49:32+00:00

i hear this - best thing to do is solitude, i used to think that community was everything but i’m realising i’m on my own

FightForDemocracyNow · 2022-01-09T00:39:25+00:00

You're depressed. Get help.

SpookyKG · 2022-01-08T19:25:15+00:00

Sounds like depression.

shaggy2gay · 2022-01-08T19:41:35+00:00

Yeah definitely makes sense, life is shit now so might as well give up the one good part of it voluntarily.

SithLordJediMaster · 2022-01-08T20:51:15+00:00

No

It's way too much fun

FineAd6159 · 2022-01-08T23:49:43+00:00

What if the world does come back which it will later this year according to Gates. You’ll be left holding the bag.

SnooDingos7816 · 2022-01-09T01:19:41+00:00

In reality, when people have mindsets like you do, they have consequences like creating the very environment you don’t like right now. Sure life might suck but you just gotta make the best out of it

Musician-Round · 2022-01-09T01:57:48+00:00

A lot of people are going through that struggle so you're not alone in that. It's all temporary because everything in our lives and in this existence is always undergoing constant change. It's perfectly natural to be weary of it all and to start losing hope in some things, but I assure you it is a bodily reaction to the uncertainty of the present. We are sentimental creatures after all.

An old eastern philosophy tidbit that I learned in my time is that there is a time to contract and a time to expand. During these uncertain times, one of the best courses of action is to seek comfort in trusted companions and hone in on the practices and pastimes that uplift your spirits and engage the more positive aspects of your personality.

Woujo · 2022-01-09T02:21:42+00:00

So many things going on in the world right now and the future seems so uncertain.

Don't let the media bullshit freak you out. If you ignore the news and just go outside you will find that everything is just fine.

You are letting the media bullshit plunge you into depression. Stop watching the news and start focusing on getting small wins.

Sitinondubs · 2022-01-09T03:39:17+00:00

I am starting to lose hope also

mikeymoon94303 · 2022-01-09T09:06:33+00:00

Utup

SuperSoakerGuyx · 2022-01-09T09:41:54+00:00

Yeah I also feel like dating is pointless now but I still like to work out stay healthy and work on myself. Yeah there are times when I get lonely too but, I don't think like stop working out or being healthy would benefit me. So the way I see it is more like dating sucks but yet I think like I could meet a wonderful person naturally one day. So in other words I just don't like dating at all but I'm all for relationships and people finding love and such.

acarsity · 2022-01-09T14:50:22+00:00

There is no such thing as “normal” at least objectively. Normal is temporary, the norm always changes, because life is constantly changing.

I agree, it is declining and feels like shit right now, the division of all peoples, and the rising popularity of hookup culture leaves the feeling of trying to connect to one another pointless. It’s a really dangerous road we are going down, we will no longer love anyone, constantly trying to prove each other wrong. And ourselves right.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2022-01-09T16:19:42+00:00

The way to eventually improve the global stage of affairs to improve oneself. If Everyone took personal ownership and strived to enhance themselves across a range of dimensions (especially ethically and intellectually) the world wouldn’t have nearly as many of its man made problems.

Or just think fuck the world… either I kill myself now or I start improving myself for my own sake because I only get one life and whilst it’s not quite what I asked for I might as well make the most with what I have before I dematerialise for the rest of eternity

Title	Anyone else feel like dating is completely pointless now?
Author	beastboi27
Upvotes	116
Comments	52
Date	January 8, 2022 11:55 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ryy8qk/anyone_else_feel_like_dating_is_completely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anyone-else-feel-like-dating-is-completely.1269455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269455

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