[deleted by user]

HanEyeAm · 2022-10-05T12:51:43+00:00

I’m a woman. I’d probably say ‘hey, seems I’ve misinterpreted some things. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Hope we can still be friends.’ Or something like that.

pierre_WaP · 2022-10-05T10:53:21+00:00

Just make a joke about it and don’t bother her again. Trust me, she’s not interested. Whatever you do don’t pursue her anymore

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-10-05T11:20:52+00:00

Unless she added a silly emoji at the end, that response is about as sharp as they come.

You clearly guessed wrong and she's nervous enough about it that she decided to shut that shit straight down instead of using one of the countless soft rejections.

In other words, she wants you to take this one seriously, so take it seriously. A straightforward apology for crossing the line is in order.

2022-10-05T11:44:43+00:00

"you're right, my bad" And that's it. Stop over thinking it and resume your life like nothing happened and don't talk about it again or hit on her. Also this was bad flirting :))

Yamochao · 2022-10-05T14:39:06+00:00

First off all, jfc dude, don’t ever text something like this to someone you haven’t already been sexual with. You see this person every day, why would you not explore this thread in person. It’s always 10000% better to initiate intimacy in person. Texting is cowardly and ineffective. Texting someone from the other room in a way that doesn’t match your in person behavior feels two faced af.

You messed up here, own it. In person. “Hey, I don’t know what I was thinking, I was seriously misreading the situation but I value your friendship and I hope we can move past it. this won’t happen again “ and ask her questions. And listen. This isn’t seduction, this is interpersonal conflict resolution. This is the basics of caring about someone, bring a good roommate, not making someone feel uncomfortable in their own home.

She’s not some woman from a bar in Vegas you’ll never see again that you can try a moonshot booty call with. You have a close relationship with her, this is not a “fuck it, shoot your shot” situation. She’s your roommate and presumably your friend. If you’re going to escalate with someone you’re invested in be conscientious of their feelings jfc. What you should’ve done is in person, ask her how she feels about you, has she been dating this year, what she’s looking for in a partner, yadayada, see if you get forward vibes, of shes open you’d know, then ask if she wants to cuddle in person.

Stop hiding behind your phone

nalik95 · 2022-10-05T11:03:45+00:00

Say, "yes, nothing good happens after 10pm. I should’ve texted you at 8pm"

HerrAdventure · 2022-10-05T11:47:41+00:00

Ooof. Yeah. Swing and a miss buddy.

A lot of responses are on point. I wouldn't try and make a joke out of it personally but I can see it working...

She's moving out and moves are in the top 5 stresses of life. She is stressed out most likely and that text probably rubbed her the wrong way. I would do a quick apology and not give a long rationale outside of a quick sentence of misreading a vibe.

How do you want the relationship to move forward? Her thinking you're a creep or thinking you are a decent man. Choice is yours...I'd go with the latter.

iceking123 · 2022-10-05T10:38:54+00:00

Just ignore her, she obviously doesn't see you that way. Move on

Snoo_51862 · 2022-10-05T14:52:11+00:00

She is not interested… just double click on the message (assuming its whatsapp), and give that message a “like”. And move on. No explanation required, no apologies are required (you haven’t sent a dick pic).

Titty_Slicer_5000 · 2022-10-05T13:17:17+00:00

That is not inappropriate behavior. That is the double standard of its ok when I like you, not ok when I don't like you.

Do not joke about it. Do not do anything. Let her go. Anything you say devalues you so hard.

Don't listen to other redditors telling you to joke about it. No. No!

She lied, that does not force you to lie in turn.

Man the fuck up. You meant it, and she don't wanna so let her go, don't stay in the grey.

You should listen to your voice of thoughts, that weakness in it. That's deadwood. That's you being fake. Repression is another degree of deception, which is what you two are all about.

You dodged a bullet. Problem for you is that, she too, dodged a bullet.

Nuckl3ar · 2022-10-05T10:42:10+00:00

You should always have a way out of those kind of situations before sending it.

jivan006 · 2022-10-05T12:28:58+00:00

Better not reply, it’d make it more weird.. just keep joking like you’ve been so far and as if nothing happened.

CareerAdviceThrowMe · 2022-10-05T13:11:29+00:00

I feel like a very small % of women will respond well to this late night text, even women who are interested. Maybe next time keep it more fun, like “up for a movie?”

2022-10-05T13:36:51+00:00

It can also be her prior experience what makes her not too open about hanging in the opposite sex bed or her culture and the way they raise her. supposed she did help you to sleep but you got handsy

2022-10-05T13:56:36+00:00

I wouldn’t joke about it.

“My apologies. Didn’t mean to offend”.

Id then proceed to not mention it again and live my life.

Its not a crime to have a desire for closeness as a man. Own it. Being a human is not wrong.

kev1nshmev1n · 2022-10-05T14:38:03+00:00

Personally I wouldn’t try to make this seem like I was joking. Just apologize and drop it, go back to being just roommates, if she wants to go back to hanging out etc. with you, let her come back to you in that way if she wants. I would also use the language from her text, and go with a similar tone, but would say it in person, if there is an opportunity. Just say “I’m sorry for sending you that text, it was inappropriate, and it wont happen again.” Just leave it at that.

2022-10-05T15:39:28+00:00

Lmao what were you thinking

TheCaribbeanRedditor · 2022-10-05T12:53:55+00:00

Apologise briefly, stop making cringy/sexual jokes, and keep it moving.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-10-05T12:19:04+00:00

It's only inappropriate behavior if she sees you as a non chad. Her mind is made up, keep it cordial and let her move out so you can move yourself into someone else.

Aaannelii · 2022-10-05T14:17:52+00:00

Here is the only appropriate response….”I’m sorry, won’t happen again”…own up to this, you fucked up

Titty_Slicer_5000 · 2022-10-05T14:36:02+00:00

Simply say “I’m sorry I misread our vibe, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”. And start learning some goddamn social calibration my dude. Judging by your post she gave you no indication she was interested. In fact her “behaving very shy-like” is likely her being uncomfortable. And then you just randomly texted her to basically come fuck. It wouldn’t have been as bad if she wasn’t your roommate, but it still would have been off. But this girl lives with you. Did it not cross your mind how she would feel if she wasn’t interested? She has to continue living with you, even if for a short time, if she rejects you. You really need more social awareness man.

quietsam · 2022-10-05T14:55:36+00:00

Apologize.

MrJayFizz · 2022-10-05T15:41:54+00:00

Don't apologize wtf. People here are crazy suggesting you apologize or say "it was a prank bro"

Own it. Nothing to be ashamed of. You asked her, she said no. No big deal. If she brings it up, just tell her you wanted to snuggle with her. It's not a bad thing. You did nothing wrong.

Anon9810 · 2022-10-05T13:17:06+00:00

Tell her it's an europeon thing you picked from your last visit. Didn't meant to offend you.

Nimitz_68 · 2022-10-05T14:13:24+00:00

Yeah, joke about it OR say you txt'd the wrong person

blizzardboy · 2022-10-05T14:59:35+00:00

That seems like a good move. Don’t trip . Good flirt.

Agonizingmilk404 · 2022-10-05T15:59:13+00:00

Don’t ever make the first move over text.

2022-10-05T16:00:19+00:00

“I know”

And see what she says.

Edit: Don’t apologize because you know damn well what you were asking for and so does she. Own it. Obviously don’t push or pursue if she’s not interested, but don’t be embarrassed or apologize for what you want. Assuming your relationship is good, she will set her boundaries and you respect them, but again, don’t apologize for being interested in a woman - it makes you look unsure of yourself.

2022-10-05T12:05:59+00:00

You should tell her that it wasn't a joke and that you have a huge cock for her to gag on. Probably lead you on anyways if I were to guess.

LibrarianFinancial65 · 2022-10-05T14:36:48+00:00

She is not interested. Say something like “I’m so glad you don’t see me that way”

she will be wondering what you meant for the rest of her life. Women overthink things. Spark her curiosity

2022-10-05T14:47:30+00:00

Lol. You just asked wrong. She's shy. Gotta work up to that in person. Remember "It just happened."

DO NOT APOLOGIZE! As soon as you do that you've confirmed the frame that it was wrong, and it really wasn't. It's OK to want sex.

Maybe she isn't interested, but you gotta try like all your ancestors did.

beenpimpin · 2022-10-05T14:18:37+00:00

Apologising is cringe and pretending it was a joke is also cringe maybe tell her you know it was inappropriate you just felt like pushing boundaries. Say you were venting because you lost your job 😂

EthicalSeduction · 2022-10-05T11:38:43+00:00

You need to adjust and go at a pace they are comfortable with. If you don’t respect a boundary you lose trust and your chances are over. So it’s fine to say “yes I was hoping you were interested, but it’s fine that you are not.” Use this as an opportunity to show you are trustworthy and interested in being more than friends.

omega05 · 2022-10-05T12:09:29+00:00

What was she doing for you while you were giving her rides?

alphatopG123 · 2022-10-05T13:43:14+00:00

The rest of the comments on this post are why I will continue to stay on this sub. I thought it would swing the other way. Thank god.

betterme2610 · 2022-10-05T14:45:18+00:00

Hey on the other hand it might go from moving out this month, to this week. Lesson learned. Roommates is a tricky one and often just a fantasy. I try to not make moves in situations where people feel trapped. (Why I also don’t do hike dates, or this roommate situation) It puts her in a spot of “oh shit, I live here /sleep here, now what “ rather it is a yes or no. In the future. Lightly flirt with roomie if at all, but maybe leave all of that on her.

2022-10-05T16:17:20+00:00

How many roommates do you have? Do you have male roommates? Text them the same, so it seems you really are joking.. or text two or three other people you mutually know.. so it looks more like a gag.

Significant-Carpet31 · 2022-10-06T17:04:49+00:00

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	79
Comments	113
Date	October 5, 2022 10:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xw6ry2/i_texted_my_roommate_come_here_and_snuggle_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1248883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248883

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