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[–]norwegiandoggo 111 points112 points113 points 4 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link
What is your current approach when trying to go from kissing to sex?
[–]Tioaeis 74 points75 points76 points 4 years ago* (25 children) | Copy Link
Just trying to build upon it, continue the conversation in a relatively flirty way where I can whilst making normal conversation I suppose. Depends what setting I’m in, that’s more for a bar club. Then either she doesn’t wanna know after that almost
Whereas dates I’ll try to take them home, generally they won’t have sex the first night and I’ll get the kiss and either not see them again for some unspecified reason or go on a second date and get a handjob or something and that’s it lol
[–]norwegiandoggo 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
More details please.
[–]Tioaeis 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Specific examples?
[–]norwegiandoggo 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago* (18 children) | Copy Link
Yes. Can you write one example from the club and one from a date? And also, how do you go about the kiss itself? What type of kiss is it? Who ends it first? How do you escalate to the kiss? What is your dental hygiëne like? Did you drink alcohol prior?
[–]Tioaeis 45 points46 points47 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Alright I’ll give you two of the most recent ones I can remember;
Date - went on it with this girl, was with her for a few hours kissed (make out) half way through and at the end full on. Told her I wanted to take her home she said “same, but we can arrange for next time” messaged her and within 3/4 days tried to arrange to see again, cancelled and ghosted since
Eye contact/lean in slowly/I ended it
Nightclub - full on kissing (make out) in smoking area, carried on talking for a couple mins from what I can remember. Then, sorry I’m just going to the toilet and you know the rest.
Thanks for your reply
[–]norwegiandoggo 236 points237 points238 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Thanks! You rarely want to do prolonged make-outs prior to sex. So I would avoid that if I were you. 5 seconds max and STOP. Leave her wanting more, not less. Then ask her if she wants to get "outta here" - meaning your place right after the kiss. If you're making out with a girl for 5 minutes you seem a bit eager and like you can't control yourself. Making going home with you a riskier proposition for women since they always want to know that you won't push it if she suddenly wants to back out. So keep the make outs short, and back off.
[–]Tioaeis 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Definitely wouldn’t be making out for five mins aha imagine, but suppose I could try shorter. But it’s like with that first example especially tho it just makes absolutely no sense. Maybe sometimes with clubs it may just be a drunken kiss and that’s it but yea, I don’t get how it goes from one extreme to another so quickly
[–]surfershane25 77 points78 points79 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No pulling back first is a great tip, it leaves them wanting more and they feel like there’s a chase still, if the making out ending is on their terms and you don’t halt it they think you’re too eager. I hate these kind of games but I’ve found it to be true as weird as it sounds.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like the follow up time of 3/4 days was too long. I’ve had similar happen with 2/3 day follow up. Be within a range of 1-1 1/2 days max.
[–]random_question4123 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would add a disclaimer to this - you rarely want to do prolonged make outs prior to sex when you’re OUT. If you’re out, at a party or club, make out, then break it off, and repeat but each one should get more intense, and you’re always in control. Essentially, you’re trying to end the make out session before she does.
[–]bean_addict 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. This. If you make out too much, especially in public, it will be obvious to everyone (including her) what going home with you means, which makes her feel like a slut
[–]Phoenix-King77 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree fully with this
[–]Schtuka[🍰] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the insight. I think this is something I need to work on myself. Keeping the tension.
[–]ajna1347 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
pro tip there
[–]RedAssBaboon_888 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you just spoke the words I needed to hear, thank you king!! 👑🙏
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make this it’s own post - a lot of people in the community need to hear this
[–]RedLantern- 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This
[–]random_question4123 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s possible you might not be a good kisser. The second, you should never try to imply that you’re trying to fuck. “Told her I wanted to take her home” sounds crude. Have some type of excuse that doesn’t make the girl think she’s a slut. Be slick not coarse.
[–]Ilovethaiicedtea 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've been ghosted on great day dates where I made out with women. Sometimes it's just luck of the draw, 50% of any given outcome doesn't have much to do with who you are.
[–]Tioaeis 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Surely though there must be a reason why
[–]Ilovethaiicedtea 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Eh people just get cold feet, or self-doubt, or maybe your "game" is good and then later as they cool down on you, they aren't as interested. A lot of pick-up will tell you that escalation is linear, but that just isn't always the case over multiple days. I've had first dates where I hooked up with the girl then in subsequent dates, they wanted to go really slow etc. You never really know, too many variables to isolate one.
Edit,: I think the nightclubs lend to this pitfall more though, 1. They prob came with people and it's logistically hard to change who they are leaving with sometimes even if it's just their friends 2. Lil bit of a vibe leaving with a random from a club
[–]dreameater42 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
mr duchovny please stop jerking off
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂
[–]Highlyactivewalrus 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ll quote some wisdom from Ralphie May: “If she’ll touch it, she’ll suck it.”
[–]Doddie011 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In the bar/ club setting, if I have been getting strong physical cues from her I would be direct in asking if she wants to go to my place.
In a date setting I will be more patient and continue to arouse her through push/pull with making sure to never be overly aggressive. Anytime I would get overly aggressive on a date it was an immediate mood killer. When I’ve been more patient it seemed like it may have taken a date or 2 longer, but could close the deal at a much higher rate within the first 4 dates
[–]haikusbot 160 points161 points162 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What is your current
Approach when trying to go
From kissing to sex?
- norwegiandoggo
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
[–]AbusedUTA5099 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lmao,
[–]b-r-u-h_69 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good bot
[–]Physicist_Dinosaur 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
good bot
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I respect the experiences but the plays and games come off as fake and like woman are to be manipulated with leering sexual tactics....
Please stop. Focus on healthy relationships, not hazardous and entitled male dominance.
Not sure what relevance this has to my question and the post has been deleted.
[–]caesarfecit 234 points235 points236 points 4 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link
It's because you break the sexual tension too soon. Having a hot and steamy makeout sesh in a bar or a club is a mistake unless the plan is to have sex right away, like in the bathroom or a car/alley.
The reason why it's a mistake is because making out with her right then and there breaks the sexual tension. Her horny mind stops governing the decision-making and she starts pondering everything other than getting her rocks off.
That's why she defers on going home with you, flakes when you set up a date, or ghosts you afterwards. It's easier for her to just write the whole thing off as a drunken night in the club, than it is for her to deal with a guy who had her ready to blow him in public. Buyer's Remorse and anti-slut mentality has set in.
If you must kiss a girl in a bar/club, the move is to make your kisses a tease, not go to second base on the dance floor (unless she's already 100% DTF, like telling you she's taking you home, and in that case, it's unnecessary).
Don't make a girl choose between you and her dignity. A lifetime of programming from her mother, her friends, and society has trained her to make that decision automatic.
[–]Noblejunior 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Damn you good
[–]caesarfecit 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
80% of everything I've learned about women has come from my mistakes. Another 10-15% from Mark Manson, and the remaining 5-10% from everything else, including successes.
[–]LeftinthePnW 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What book?
[–]caesarfecit 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
https://www.amazon.ca/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty/dp/1463750358
[–]Tioaeis 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Interesting reply, never really thought of it in this way.
[–]mfco_ 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I agree with this, I’m way more likely to go home with a guy that I really hit it off with chatting opposed to making out on the dance floor or in public. Leads to some suspense. But I’d still rather you ask for my number because if you ask me to come home with you in my mind it’s strictly a hookup
[–]PLEASEYALE_ 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
to come home with you in my mind it’s strictly a hookup
Wait, are you saying you wouldn't consider a guy for anything more than a ONS if he asks you to come home with him the same night you meet? Even if he isn't a "fuckboy"?
[–]mfco_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
No let me clarify. I’m saying that I see it only as a hookup because that shows me how he views me. I guess it helps me protect myself emotionally. I’ve never had a single guy continue to talk to me after a ONS so if I’m speaking from experience, yeah I wouldn’t have much interest in them besides for that night.
It’s good to see you have sexual chemistry but breaking the sexual tension right from the start isn’t exciting unless it’s absolutely mindblowing sex (drunk sex with a rando never is imo).
Does that make sense?
[–]Tioaeis 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So you would advise (I’m assuming your a girl) that I’m breaking the sexual chemistry too soon in my case? Sometimes it has happened where it’s the girl who has initiated the kiss on me (nightclub/bar) perhaps in that situation pull back maybe tell them I want to get to know them abit more?
[–]mfco_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes 23F, Yeah I wish the post wasn’t removed so I could reread the situation but that’s my take on this from what I remember. I imagine you were both on the floor dancing when they initiate the kiss? It’s really hard to tell why they don’t come back but from my experience, drunk hookups are just that, drunk hookups. If you definitely are looking to date them it’s better to find them when they’re at the bar to start chatting them up. I’ve also been in the situation where I was making out with a guy at a bar but my friends wanted to leave so then I end up not going home with him. There’s loads of possibilities and it’s sad to say that sometimes we find a pattern in the people we encounter and it’s hard to figure out the solution. I wish I could be of more help
[–]YouSmellFunky 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m saying that I see it only as a hookup because that shows me how he views me.
Depends on the guy though. Quite a few of my sex-on-the-first night hookups have turned into some sort of relationship, some of them my best ones!
I wish I could say the same for myself but that’s just not the case sadly. Even guys I’ve gone on dates with that I’ve just simply kissed on the first date have never made it past a second from either me ending it or his. Speaking solely from my experience, if a guy wants to take me home the night I meet him that’s all I believe he sees me as, just a hookup.
[–]RedditTipiak 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
like in the bathroom or a car/alley.
Do people who barely met really have sex in alleys? Serious question.
[–]caesarfecit 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I've gone from first meeting to having sex with a girl inside of 90 minutes. It was a party, we were both having a good time and horny. We were making out within minutes. QED.
I've also had a random encounter in a bathroom, but with a different girl in a somewhat different context.
It's not my cup of tea, but sometimes the feeling is right and she's game.
[–]RedditTipiak 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I wish I had better used my 20's...
[–]caesarfecit 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I feel the exact same way. If I had known then what I know now. When I was 18, I was hanging out in this girl's room at rez. She was a drop-dead gorgeous redhead, she had a single room, and we were alone on a lazy weekend afternoon. I was playing her guitar, and she was teasing me about being a virgin. I don't even remember her name (I think it started with a K), but I remember her face like it was yesterday.
Only thing you can do is make your peace with the fact that there will always be more girls you had a chance and blew it with than ones where you sealed the deal. And let it motivate you to make the most of what time you do have left.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or realise that you can still be content/happy without women in your life. That’s the ultimate goal surely
[–]PLEASEYALE_ -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
but I remember her face like it was yesterday.
Do you really? How old are you now?
[–]ramfield 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What do you do on a date?
So you got her number (on the street or online) go on a date, clear day light, having a drink or going for a walk. How do you escalate to sleeping together?
I always read you should kiss and be sexual and physical before you go home with her.But that seems wrong?
[–]caesarfecit 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is a line between building and breaking sexual tension. You break it when you clearly say or show that you want to sleep with them. Everything before that is still in the grey area of flirting where signs can be ambiguous, mixed, or highly indirect.
The reason why it breaks sexual tension is because it's a cards-on-the-table moment. It kills the mystery. Like if she drunkenly booty calls you when you're asleep and leaves an embarassing text or voicemail.
This is why a quick kiss might build sexual tension even further, but a drunken handsy makeout sesh can kill it completely.
This is also why it's a boss move to go for the kiss (or a kiss fake-out) as early as it feels right to do so during the date, because then she can spend the rest of time wondering what you're gonna do next. Making out with her on the couch of a club may get her ready to go right then and there, but then sanity kicks in and she's left sitting on your lap simultaneously horny and blue-balled. And then she bails out of the club and calls up her ex-turned-FWB, because at least it's not a new guy. Then she can get her rocks off and decide what to do with new guy, if/when he calls.
It might not make sense to guys, but I'd bet there's more than a few girls who could read this and nod along, knowing it describes themselves or someone they know.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]wejaow 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whew this is really good advice
[–]YetzirahToAhssiah 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I came here to say something like this, but nailed it.
But yeah, basically... turn the heat up more slowly
[–]ld20r 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
What a sad Brainwashed and messed up Socially Conditioned cauldron we live in.
[–]caesarfecit 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just because something is socially reinforced doesn't automatically mean it is irrational, arbitrary, or wrong. Girls have many valid reasons to avoid being seen as "slutty", like losing face in front of their friends.
The irony is, in my mind what is slutty is use to your sexuality as a bargaining chip or a commodity, not the things you do with someone you want to do them with. But I suspect that attitude will take a long time to spread to others, women especially.
[–]Perfect-Resist5478 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, consider the environment. You’re at a club and you’re dancing up on a girl and you make out a bit. In basically every other aspect of her world, she would not be ok with some sweaty stranger grinding up on her. That is to say, the line of “ok behavior” at a club doesn’t necessarily translate once you’ve left. So she might be ok with a make out, knowing full well she’s never going to touch your D. Additionally, pandemic aside there’s A LOT of risk that a woman assumes between “making out on the dance floor” and “having sex”. There’s STDs, violence, stigma, etc. Someone once said “sex is like pizza- even if it’s bad it’s still good” which may be true for guys, but for women sex is like sushi. When it’s good it’s great, and when it’s bad it can make you sick and is totally not worth it. So if you’re trying to get laid, go on tinder and be upfront about it. You’ll prob do better in an environment that’s laid out for hookups (no pun intended) than trying to score from randos at a club
[–]PondScum420 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It could be any number of things. In my experience I feel like when I had those problems it was because I was moving too fast. Like they were down at one point, but I ruined it by being too intense and wanting it too much.
[–]JacobMoogberg69 115 points116 points117 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Just relax and stop treating women like a collection of moist holes you want to stick it in. Treat every woman like sex is just a matter of time and there is nothing for you to worry about or try to make happen. Let it happen naturally.
[–]schebobo180 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah tbh he sounds more like a lion hunting wildebeest. Lmao
But tbf if sex is all you are looking for then good for you.
[–]Tioaeis 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Not even, i don’t even think it’s all about sex, I’d be just as happy too take her num/social media and see her again. I’ve actually suggested that myself before even when I maybe could have gone home with and still nothing more came to fruition! It’s a curse I tell you!
[–]schebobo180 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough. Maybe the club is not the best place to look?
But I get you because I’m these pandemic times It can be difficult to meet people outside of work.
[–]Chipotle_is_my_wife 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, if you have fun and laugh women will wanna bang you. If you're a desperate "seductionist" who clearly has no hobbies/friends or fun things in your life then why would they wanna continue
[–]Mauerseglerin 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wise words my friend
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
So the seemingly obvious answer is maybe that they don't like how you kiss/make out, more than likely there's something happening either on the approach of said kiss/make out or how it's ended. Or it could be a technique thing. Or a personality thing. You may be a catch at first glance and then there may be something you're doing or not doing that puts them off. They try a few kisses to see if there's chemistry and if not they're just not interested. But there are so many variables we really can't say. If you've done this several times and it always ends the same way I would say to look inward and maybe change things up.
Or you could just be unlucky right now.
[–]d0remia 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
i think most likely they might not have liked the kiss? for me it’s super easy to get turned off by a kiss that’s too aggressive, sloppy, or even if it’s way too gentle
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Same. If the kissing doesn't get me going it's usually a good indicator that going any further would be a waste of time.
[–]Chipotle_is_my_wife 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
tbf i've met girls who were absolutely horrible kissers but still great in bed. And luckily after a comment or two you can actually teach people how to kiss if it's just minor stuff that's screwing them over
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I've actually had a similar experience with a guy. The kissing was horrible but the sex was great so I'm glad I tried. However, that's been rare in my case. Usually kissing has been a good indicator of things to come. You can tell someone how you prefer to kiss and show them. Just depends on if they like your method or not.
[–]PLEASEYALE_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What kind of method do you personally prefer?
More lip action and little to no tongue. Teasing and slow followed by firm and intense.
[–]Chipotle_is_my_wife 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really want to know where anyone gets the idea that kissing is two humans shoving their tongues in each other's mouths and moving them in circles or something, I mean even movies/TV often do a good job at showing how to make out!
Also I would want someone to tell me if I'm doing something bad, so I've been happy to give constructive criticism and it's gone over pretty well. Gotta do our part to make the world a better place yknow
[–]Tioaeis 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Very unlikely it’s me being a bad kisser, like I said I’m not unexperienced at it, hell I’m not even inexperienced with sex, but if it’s a personality issue what I don’t understand is why I’m getting this far and no further, but not just getting straight up rejected instead. But it is possible however that I could be putting them off in some way by doing/not doing something but like you said because there’s so many variables I don’t even know myself.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You could kiss 1,000 people and still be considered a bad kisser to some as everyone likes it different you know? So it's not about a skill set, it's about being able to read the reaction I think. But it's probably a combo of things. Depending on the situation maybe try to figure out a way to ask next time for honest feedback? It would suck if it's something so obvious that you're not seeing in yourself.
[–]Tioaeis 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I mean I don’t have a certificate of kissing excellency to hand so I can’t give you a definitive yes or no. But I doubt that’s what my problem is, I normally try to match the tempo of the girl if that helps. Definitely
[–]kinstinctlol 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just ask them if they want to go to the sex location. I just ask them to go to a motel with me.
[–]no_not_this 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Some women have a rule of not banging on the first meeting. I actually would rather deal with one of those than getting herpies from a super slut. It shows they aren’t opening their legs to a new guy 5 days a week. In my experience those are higher quality women
[–]GinoAcknowledges 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
this doesn't always mean much because a lot (maybe most) attractive women have a roster of guys or a FWB at the same time they're talking to you, just always a good idea to assume she's fucking other guys at the same time as you and be careful with protection
[–]kathruins 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
they said some women dont like sleeping with men the first time meeting them. they didnt say those women aren't having sex. having multiple well known sex partners is safer than sleeping with multiple new people every week. it means they are less likely to have STDs and in my experience they are way more fun.
"women have a roster of guys or a FWB at the same time they're talking to you" you're coming off a little incel-ish buddy. you're on a subreddit that encourages talking to multiple women (to seduce) every single day; i think we can hold off on judging women for being successful at it.
[–]GinoAcknowledges 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
it’s not really any safer because FWB is rarely exclusive, so an FWB can be having sex with others and you have no way of knowing. They get something and you can get it too, esp since STD tests aren’t conclusive until a few weeks after exposure
nobody is judging anyone, except for the original comment I replied to calling women super sluts???
congratulations on writing a 3 paragraph essay defending women against imaginary threats in the bowels of a Reddit comment section tho Einstein
[–]kathruins 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
FWBs do have a right to ask each other if they are sleeping with others, if those people have std test results, and if they use protection. I hope you realize this!! doesn't have to be guessing games unless you want that.
ehh, slut doesn't have to be a bad thing. your comment sounded kinda negative though.
hey, I like this sub. as a bisexual woman, i can provide insight and score tips. I'd hate to see it turn into a den of misogynists.
[–]ScrumNoobie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Once you assume she's fucking other guys you should feel less pressure to fuck it up. You think she messaging her family when she's out with you lmao. It's ok with me she can txt whoever she want
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_not_this -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your reaching... This topic isn’t about std’s. I appreciate your Ted talk though.
[–]no_not_this -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok you have herpies we get it.
[–]great1675 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In my youth if I was too nervous I could go for hours... I've had a few tap out. What I found at least was it was a mental thing. If I was thinking too much, forget it. If I was in the moment and just into her it was much better.
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q1bitx/skipping_foreplay_rushing_and_not_using_your/
[–]Salaheed 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Have you considered just getting a tinder and finding people who just are looking to get their rocks off
[–]FaithInStrangers94 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Finding cute women who aren’t psychotic or swimming with STDs who are willing to have causal sex is almost impossible on tinder unless you’re a male model
Don’t think you realise how many times I’ve met people from tinder
[–]BONFIYAHgg -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truuuuuuu
[–]stumje 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You need to bring the MOJO ( the sexual fire). This is what turns them on sexual
[–]1000miles_if_i_could 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
There could be many reasons. Could it be your choice of women? Some younger girls just like to make out heavily but sex is optional. For women, sometimes the sexual tensions built during make out is just as good as sex itself.
From what you’ve written, I couldn’t tell exactly but it seems that you’re way too focused on your “end goal” - sex. That could be off putting. Instead, just enjoy the fun without any expectations toward sex. It’ll happen more when it’s unexpected imo.
Maybe it is, because otherwise I feel I’ve failed. That’s not to say that the only thing I want from girls I’m romantically interested is sex. But if it doesn’t eventually lead to that it must be something I did in my mind
[–]TeslaNicole 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be the man and escalate at a pace she's comfortable with. Watch closely to her body language.
I'm in the same boat with you. When i meet them at a party, we are clearly are having fun but it rarely leads to me taking them home.
What my buddies have noticied about me is that i'm too agressive. I also met this girl at a party on new years eve that mentioned that i'm agressive, it's the first time i've heard it from a girl and it really got me thinking. I think i do have an agressive nature and i like it but maybe there should be a fine line.
[–]CarpetBagger96 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you’re not leading
[–]DrinksAreOnTheHouse 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
most girls (or at least the hottest & best ones) are not going to sleep with you the first night. (admittedly, there are always outliers but its not the majority). If you're making out for the first time, assume that's as far as it goes. If she wants to go home with you, she'll find ways to hint it so you take action. Let them come to you more and maybe you'll get pleasantly suprised. It seems you might be forcing it too much if they aren't excited to see you a second time.
[–]Organic_Pack1211 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have this EXACT SAME problem. It has literally happen almost every time, I’m interested to see what others have experienced
[–]BadHairDayToday -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me is that they'll have sex with me but refuse to stay the night. Feels so empty if they leave after sex. I love sleeping together, would take it over the sex actually. Have breakfast the next morning, read the news paper and complain about politics ❤️
Anyways, I have no advice 😆 still beter than the whiney top rated reply
[–]Mr_ambitiouz -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Let's say you are in a club, and you spot a girl that you like and started talking to her, how long would it take you to kiss her?
[–]Tioaeis -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That varies, sometimes 30 seconds, sometimes 10 minutes
[–]SGaba_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What conversation do you do that make them kiss you?
It differs on the situation, depending on what environment. Club? I usually just go very direct and use like a cheeky/cocky funny approach. There’s more variables at play though as girls generally find me quite handsome (not too toot my own horn) so it’s also hard to tell how good my game (irrespective of looks) actually is at the same time.
[–]Chester1212 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ironically this is the really easy part, which I couldn’t say a few years ago. But taking em back home is the seemingly impossible part haha
[–]accountno543210 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Learn how to "ask" and practice consistent consent and have fun.
[–]adsq93 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Its actually crazy how effective being direct and straight up asking them or telling them what I want is.
[–]BucketPlanks 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Asking if she wants sex? That’s so ridiculous
[–]human8ure -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve actually made this my goal.
1) It’s way more acheivable, less disappointing. Just make out with them and then go home and… 2) Masturbate. Way safer. Less messy. No pregnancy or STI’s to worry about. But most importantly.. 3) No woman will ever compare to my imagination.
[–]girlycats -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What an incel!
Troll
[–]Sup3rHD -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
U cant build attraction, a girl knows after 2 seconds if she wants to have sex with you or not. All the tactics for escalating etc are useless.
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What remote island to these posts get made from lol?
Getting out to a club or bar right now seems risky.
[–]Tioaeis 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
What risk
Fyi UK
[–]Chipotle_is_my_wife 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
do you not talk at all about hobbies / food / activities with these women? I'm confused as to how you wouldn't get their number and plan something
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try chloroform
5-day temporary ban for breaking Rule 4: keep it civil and on topic
[–]boss-mannn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes
[–]Expelleddux 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
After making out, stop drinking.
[–]13Xxx21 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope.
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