Is the whole "looks don't matter" mantra bullshit? [recovered]

DisgruntledWolverine · 2016-08-25T13:13:27+00:00

yeah, but if you lift weights to get stronger and put on muscle that 2 becomes a 3

if you learn to eat right so you aren't a fat slob that 3 becomes a 4

If you learn to dress well that 4 becomes a 5

If you learn to groom and style your hair like an adult the 5 becomes a 6

if you learn how to interact socially with people in general, then women, the 6 becomes a 7

you see where I am going here.

its perfectly reasonable a 7 could land a 9.

If you tell yourself you can't , you will only prove yourself right.

rmbarnes · 2016-08-25T13:05:36+00:00

You'd be better off googling for an answer, this topic gets covered weekly on PUA forums.

Looks are important, but not everything. Good looking guys with 0 game can struggle, average guys with amazing game can do well. Game is just extra value.

The PUAs say looks don't count because they sell game training, not plastic surgery.

ZephirTheAwesome · 2016-08-25T15:09:34+00:00

No, they don't matter for men much at all.

You always have this vocal segment of "no, it totally does matter and everything else is hopeless" commenters trying to shill this mindset every now and then, though.

bilabrin · 2016-08-25T14:53:20+00:00

I don't know that they don't matter at all but I know fat guys with game and they take home good looking girls. They don't Date good looking girls probably because at some point the initial charm wears off and they realize they would be socially embarrassed but they do go home with them.

I think looks are part of 3 things: 1. Initial attraction and 2.Social status. 3. Sexual satisfaction.

You can overcome #1 by being charming and forward and pushing your way through. This helps alleviate #3 as well because women are less tied to physical attraction than men are. Their attraction has a much larger component of status involved. #2 is a bitch though because it can break the spell. Unless you are attractive or have status or just make a very deep and genuine connection it becomes difficult to do a committed relationship.

Redpill1591 · 2016-08-25T13:30:22+00:00

Looks are the most important thing when picking up women. Tall, nice face and muscular: pick two. Being well groomed goes without saying.

If you're all three of those things, the women will come to you.

tokyo7 · 2016-08-25T17:09:16+00:00

I think 'looks' will always matter to a degree, especially if there's nothing else to judge you on (e.g. tinder game).

But I think confidence is king ... someone who is conventionally 'ugly' but confident (body language, stance, what they say, how they act etc) will be 'attractive'.

The problem usually occurs that the 'ugly' person thinks of themselves as 'ugly' and so naturally becomes un-confident about how they look - thus being less confident in general and giving off that vibe.

When they approach - they carry this lack of confidence into the way they act, stand, talk etc - this is unattractive and therefore defeats them.

If they can let go of the fact they think 'they are ugly' - and genuinely become confident (harder than it sounds) - then that will shine through when they approach and get definite attraction.

I think it goes even further than this - they end up being so confident - you don't even see them visually like you normally would - you almost look past the details of their face and just see 'them' as this confident person.

A great example would be someone like Casey Neistat.

The guy is the embodiment of confidence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7R5dTrG2xU

yokhai · 2016-08-25T13:18:56+00:00

Kinda. Looks matter to a degree, but nearly as much as everyone wants to believe.

You can be average looking and still pick up girls. But being attractive helps.

Quintrell · 2016-08-25T13:53:51+00:00

Looks absolutely matter, and to a large degree they are within your control.

There's a lot a man can do through diet and exercise to improve his physique. I wager just about any young-ish man can get a pretty rockin' bod if he puts in the time and effort. Beyond that, you just need to dress well (that doesn't necessarily mean buying expensive clothes) and find a hair and/or beard style that complements your facial features.

Quithi · 2016-08-25T14:18:31+00:00

Well those that get into pickup are going to work on themselves and look better by working out, dressing better and styling themselves. Even if they don't do that, their confidence shines through and makes them a more attractive figure.

All of that said, you should work on your looks for yourself. Being attractive is known to positively impact your life socially, so why not work on it even if it doesn't bring you girls?

exgodfather · 2016-08-25T14:47:35+00:00

Looks dont matter if you act like it matter.

fourpawz · 2016-08-25T15:15:58+00:00

I would like to say looks don't matter, I personally would rather judge a guy by his personality first.. But it seems like in general in society they do matter to some extent which sucks but I see some pretty unattractive ppl in relationships and stuff so I have mixed feelings about it all

Jaereth · 2016-08-25T15:17:24+00:00

Your can pull girls without the looks, no doubt. But i gets a hell of a lot easier exponentially the better looking you are.

Looking good is part of game imo. 2 isn't going to land a 9 but what makes someone a fucking 2? I don't even think there's a 2 in my office right now for women. 90% of appearance can be mitigated through work. Lift, eat right, dress well. Personal Hygiene should be impeccable. I would say it's not even worth it trying to do PUA stuff until you actually look acceptable.

But it all goes back to the same thing, work with what you got. If when you are all polished up and everything is perfect you are still a 7, well yeah, it's going to be a bit harder for you than a guy who is a natural 10, but it's nothing you can't overcome (i'm living proof lol)

V4refugee · 2016-08-25T15:40:19+00:00

Yeah it matters but unless you're hideously deformed then it shouldn't stop you from having at least some level of success.

tractorinballs · 2016-08-25T15:45:10+00:00

Looks are more about presentation than anything else. I've seen/been with a fair amount of women that look completely different when showered, dressed, hair done. It's the same for guys, you should go out and look at the average guy you see on the street and then try to not be that guy.

Edit: just saw the picture you posted- you have plenty of potential. I would find a nice beard trim that works for you better, or shave completely, the scruff look doesn't work for you. Clean up your eyebrows a little, even out your skin, dress to impress and boom you got this. Make sure to put in the personality work too.

BFoskett · 2016-08-25T16:35:53+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

aldenso · 2016-08-25T16:45:23+00:00

It's whatever you believe it to be.

If you want to use it as an excuse to not talk to girls out of your league, or blame it for your failed opener - ya, looks matter.

If you want to up your game, take control of your life, and take what you deserve - no, they don't.

This topic comes up weekly, and it's always got the ugly guys on one side saying they matter, and the uglies on the other saying it doesn't.

The difference between the two is that the successful ones didn't give up on all areas of self improvement and made themselves into better more attractive (in numerous aspects of their lives - grooming, style, fitness etc) and the unsuccessful ones needed an excuse for their failures. They needed an easy excuse as to why they can't succeed in pickup, and that excuse is that they're conventionally ugly. But if you find yourself ugly and have no confidence that not only makes you physically ugly, but an ugly person internally, who has self worth issues, and you'll be ugly on so many more levels than your face.

Spaceman7Spiff · 2016-08-25T13:46:11+00:00

In my experience, looks matter to both genders about the same with guys putting just a tad more importance on it. I've been with all kinds of girls (skinny, fat, pretty, ugly, smart, dumb...) and what I find attractive is a woman that knows how to "wield" her sexuality. For example, I dated a thin, beautiful, but shy and kinda dumb girl for a couple years. The sex was just awful. She didn't know how to wield the power she posessed.

I am currently seeing a girl that would be considered unattractive by most guys' standards. But she is not shy and is 'congruent' with who she is inside. Because of this, she is able to properly 'wield' her sexuality and the sex is probably the best I've ever had.

To continue to beat a dead horse... being a car guy, I think of it like this: a professional driver in a Prius could probably turn better lap times than your grandmother could in a brand new Corvette.

So, yes, looks matter but it's not the be-all, end-all of attraction.

Title	Is the whole "looks don't matter" mantra bullshit? [recovered]
Author	anonanomaly0 [recovered]
Upvotes	24
Comments	44
Date	August 25, 2016 12:46 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4zianm/is_the_whole_looks_dont_matter_mantra_bullshit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-the-whole-looks-dont-matter-mantra-bullshit.1411397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411397

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