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[–]blessedwiththecurse 174 points175 points176 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
“Spread her ass cheeks and sniff it. Is this what you’ve been chasing” - quote of the decade right there! This the energy I’m having for 2020 let’s goooooooo!!!
[–]beastmaster6464 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Assert dominance
[–]Matilozano96 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m not sniffing anybody’s asshole, thank you very much. I’ll take your word for it.
[–]asknorway 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Haha. Let's do it!
[–]toasty99 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So, I don’t mean to denigrate your efforts, but it sounds like you a) cleaned up your look a little, b) got into better shape, c) played it a little cooler. All great things! But no need to overthink it...you just cogitated yourself into intentionally sniffing a butthole. Maybe quit while you’re ahead, eh?
[–]LikeHarambeMemes 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The greates king in the world sits in a pile of his own excrements. - Ernest Becker
The realization of the anal/ animal - side of humans plays a vital role in the psychological development in humans.
[–]captvic 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Legendary quote
[–]snaug 51 points52 points53 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
In your narrative, there seems to be no point at which you can finally relax and just enjoy a relationship with the hypothetical girl. You always have to be "on your game", so to speak. To the end of time, it seems.
So, do you think this is the case or is there some point when you can finally let your guard down? If so, what/when is this point?
[–]asknorway 18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I don't believe in any final destination in life except death.
I did describe a relationship scenario with a bomb ass girl whom you stay with and build an empire.
But if you're asking if I think there's a realistic scenario where you've done all the setup, get into that 'perfect' relationship, and then just sit there with no purpose, just fucking her and not working on yourself or anything else.
No. I don't think that will happen. And I don't think that's what you want.
Is there a point where you can be with that girl, she loves and worships you, and you're dedicating yourself to doing some other awesome shit in life...
Building the empire so to speak. And then getting to go home and relax with that awesome girl doting on you for a couple hours at the end of the day?
Absolutely. As you progress, having that girl by your side becomes more and more natural. And you're just focused on building other stuff, but also get to enjoy that relationship precisely because you're operating on a higher level and providing a lot of value to the world.
Hope that answers your question.
[–]snaug 33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Well, not working on yourself is one thing, and not gaming your gf is another. I feel like you obviously shouldn't stop working on yourself - gotta stay healthy, gotta stay fit, gotta stay active, gotta focus on what you care about - but the whole gaming your gf thing seems wrong to me. I don't even know if that's what you were getting at, but I see the sentiment a lot. I feel like if you have to continually "game" deep into a relationship, your girl doesn't actually like you for who you are.
[–]hitthewallrunning 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. It's more about a mental connection more than anything else. It doesn't matter how much this guy wants to keep massaging himself and allow others into a circle jerk. He doesn't get what connection is. It's all a game of self-aggrandization and manipulation. Sounds like a lot of bitterness built up. Learn how to connect with a woman and you'll have success. You haven't because you seem fake & creepy. Personally if I sense a guy is doing this, I lose interest. Time is precious. I'm not wasting it on some shallow, insecure wanker.
[–]crusafo 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Snaug I like that you ask interesting questions, and I agree with you.
Relationships are about mental connection and effective communication of thoughts, feelings, desires in a dialogue: a give and take of listening, understanding and speaking, of letting yourself be vulnerable, and creating a safe space for her to be vulnerable with you. At this stage you aren't "gaming" your partner, you are putting in the work to maintain the relationship. Game is tinder/kindling for starting an interaction, which is necessary to open the door of possibility to being with a person in any kind of way, but a relationship is more akin to building a roaring fire -- sure it started with a small flame on the kindling material, but it doesn't grow in intensity unless you feed it real fuel at the right pace -- too little and the fire dies, too much and it smothers. Another metaphor is like a manual transmission car -- 1st gear gets you rolling (game/seduction), but there are 4-5 more gears to work with. If 1st gear is seduction, 2nd gear is escalation, 3rd gear is hooking up, then 4th gear is steady dating and 5th gear is a LTR. You don't start in 3rd, 4th or 5th gear because you'll stall the engine. Likewise if you stay in 1st gear, you will blow up the engine trying to get up to relationship speed. You need seduction to help get rolling, but after that initial phase, if you can't shift gears, women notice and bail fast -- every time.
I chalk up OP's way of articulation of relationships due to the fact that he is 23. This doesn't mean OP is wrong, or doesn't know what he is talking about, he certainly does know what he is talking about when it comes to seduction, but I think there is a possibility that maybe, just maybe, OP does not have a lot of experience with LTRs. But he will soon, as he approaches that 25 year mark that is the approximate real start of emotional maturity in men and often the point at which they start to mix with women who are actually legit potential LTR partners (women who you would want to spend the rest of your life with because they are beautiful, intelligent, charming, capable, adept and confident), instead of mixing with hot babes in a tiny black dress out to get some strange on a Friday night. When you turn 25 you are likely out of college, starting on a career, ready to begin a successful adult life, and you are mixing with other people who are on that same path, it is a brand new level of the The Game. On a side note: this is why car insurance companies offer a massive discount once a man turns 25, they know a truth about male biological and emotional development: most men mature emotionally around 25, which smooths out a lot of our more impulsive tendencies and flakiness that are driven by raging emotions, horniness and lack of experience.
I think that OP does have a point about this:
He described how it looks for average frustrated people who get married: they have a shitty relationship and very little personal development and usually both parties are miserable, blame each other for their misery, and stay put in the relationship until they are so sick of each other and the toxic, dysfunctional, relationship that they created with their negligence, that they outright get divorced. So many people put maximum effort into courtship and zero effort into the rest of the relationship, however long it lasts (beware that trap -- complacency -- as anyone can fall victim to that, man or woman, young or old, AFC or a "Champ"). So there is value in what OP is saying, it just takes a certain context or frame to understand what he is talking about.
As always, on the internet and in life, cherry-pick the useful bits and leave the rest. I think OP had a great point in talking about that initial, but tiny, emotional investment in her quickly has her leading you about by the nose ring, and that instead placing that investment in yourself is the antidote to that. That has real value, and his articulation of that was so spot on, it rung true for me immediately as I could look back on my own personal experiences and say, "Aha, I see how I got this experience right, and why it led to F-close, and I got this one wrong, which is why it lead to loneliness and sadness". Additionally OP mentions that as you invest in your own self-development, and growth, you become more discerning and refined in your approach you quickly realize that the babe with a hotness at 9.95/10 can also be a 1/10 as a person. Investing in your own self-development, so that you have a life and purpose and hobbies outside of Seduction is what is going to set you apart from "fuck bois" (fuck bois just want to fuck: they don't read, start careers or businesses, the don't bother to educate themselves, they certainly don't care about self-development, which is why the only useful part of them is their wang). As someone wrote in a previous thread on seddit, "Women don't want to be the most interesting part of a man's life, they want to be part of an interesting man's life."
Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Thanks for asking such a great question, I really felt that it added value to the comment chain (and it gave me a chance to pontificate!)!
(Edits: for clarification, flow, and added an additional metaphor)
[–]asknorway 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay, dudes. Thanks for asking and flushing this out. I find the whole notion of 'gaming your girlfriend' extremely absurd, weak and appalling, and that's not something I would suggest.
If trying to live the kind of life you want to live and going for that, then finding a partner who is a good fit for the type of life(style) you've chosen because you know you're gonna die some day and have made an actual choice about roughly the type of stuff you wanna do between now and then (which can be hard to do).
If that is gaming your girlfriend, then okay, I'll say game your girlfriend. But I still think the notion is misleading, absurd and unnecessary.
I suggest taking a look at my reply to u/Tarzak on this thread if you want an expansion of my views on this.
[–]dust-free2 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or to look at it another way, why do you think people who get into long term relationships start to slack off? They get stuck in a rut, start missing the gym, figure they got the girl/guy and they can relax. Remember, you should be improving, and your girl should be as well.
You don't see an Olympic athlete stop training once they win gold, they keep training to do better. They beat a record, and they want to beat the new record. As they get older they start looking at other things to pursue, maybe training others or trying new sports.
Don't let your girl slack off either, because that is what will make you feel that is not worth the work your doing. That is when you likely will start looking elsewhere, just like the girl will if you stop putting in effort.
[–]nopethisistaken 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well what about a wife?
[–]SlickNasty916 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You always gotta keep your game on point. Till the end. Period.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]snaug 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What is the "gaming" in this context? Are you talking about staying abundant or just like staying fit, active, healthy, etc?
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]zhico 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No need for gaming just respect your own boundaries and hers.
[–]tarzak 23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree wholeheartedly with your post. The tactic of displaying hints of humor, charisma, and charm while practicing restraint and never truly revealing all your benefits until her benefits are first revealed to you is one that is sure to reap results.
I’ll be the first to admit that i’ve fallen of that horse. I used to “get it”. It wasn’t easy, it demanded discipline and fortitude, but it was extremely gratifying. However, beneath all that mojo, I was always extremely vulnerable, but I kept it hidden. Beneath all the bravado, I was a dude who just wanted to cuddle and love a girl in ways she’s never felt before. But I understood that that wasn’t possible if I didn’t play the game right. Things happen though, I fell depressed, had a couple of devastating long-term relationships, developed some unhealthy addictions, and my mental state kept spiraling downwards until I absolutely hated myself. Why do I say this? Because even though I was in such a horrible state, I still got a girlfriend who loved me. My point is, you can’t always be rock solid, sometimes you will fall, and it’s so superficial and shitty to think that you have to be that way at all times to get laid, get a relationship, be cared for, loved for, build a career, healthy lifestyle, and so on. We’re human man. Shit happens. That doesn’t make us any less worthy. To some extent, I understand that the game has to be played, but if I find that I have to maintain that just for image’s sake, honey, you’re not that worth it.
[–]asknorway 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good point! Appreciated.
I wouldn't say I think of this stuff as some sort of tactic. Definitely not interested in trying to uphold some game or facade, not even with strangers, and much less with the people close to me (which would include a girlfriend).
I'm going out regularly with a dedicated guy a couple years younger than me now. It seems to be some sort of epidemic, with him, with so many guys I see and for sure with me (although lesser as time passed):
We tend to think that if something 'works', it's the tactic, or the game, or the fu*king 'technique' that worked.
I'll tell him to do something, adjust something in his approach, go talk to ten girls etc. Then he sometimes comes back and tells me 'that worked'.
Inevitably, I'll be like "no, motherfucker. That was some bullshit I made up. They don't give a shit about your technique. Your specific words or actions don't matter NEARLY as much as WHY you're doing them.
Where is it coming from? What does the behavior you exhibit tell the girl about who you are, how you're living your life, what you think you're worth, what sorts of reactions you're used to getting from other people etc.
And then THAT tells her a lot about whether she should be with you or not.
After all, a random girl in the club (or wherever) doesn't know you. When you go up and talk to her, she's known you for 1...2...3...4... SECONDS.
How long have YOU known yourself? So a big part of how she gauges your 'value' so to speak, and therefore how she should react to and treat you,is by gauging how you evaluate yourself, based on the way you're behaving. And they're good at feeling that stuff out.
So if you think that you're a piece of shit who needs some obscure technique to make it 'work' with some stranger in a club (whom, btw, you don't know either, and could be someone who would destroy your life if you spent any significant amount of time)—then what does that say about how you rate yourself?
So I have to make him see. They respond to YOU. Not the technique. They care about who you are and how you live your life, because that's what's gonna affect them if they come with you and spend time in your world. Is it gonna be a upgrade for her or not?
If not, then yes, you might need some 'trick' to get it. But I'd argue that in the long run, the most important thing is to actually identify your target market (what types of people and what types of girls you're looking for), and then making it so that your life actually would be a value-add to them.
And for god's sake, stop trying to give value to everyone and be a people-pleaser, because value is constituted differently to different people, and you'll just kill yourself and not be of value to anyone.
Other times, he'll see me going over and talking to some girls, having a blast, dancing with them, grinding, kissing or whatever, and he'll be like "what did you say?"
And then I demonstrate by doing the same shit but saying some crap I make up, like "hey, the tree trunk massaged my towel."
And they love me. And I show him how absurd it is. Is that the new fucking master technique? The tree trunk and the towel? No, fu*kface, it's some stupid shit I just made up that doesn't make any sense.
Sometimes I tell him to make up stupid shit or just learn to ramble off forever with random words to a girl. Which isn't that hard if you try a few times.
"Potato gun earbuds slalom baby superhuman AI fu*kwad in the forest." And he does that and is like "IT WORKED", and I double facepalm and we go again.
But anyway, to someone who isn't even out talking to girls, this stuff is probably gonna be more confusing than useful. Gotta start with the first step.
So what I've basically told my friend whom I'm helping out—and what I would tell any of you who are in a similar position to u/Tarzak , or struggling with this stuff but haven't been going out, haven't approached at least a thousand girls or isn't talking to like 50 girls a week—is that for the next 3-6 months, you're only gonna focus on one thing.
You're gonna optimize a single metric, and gauge your success only from that. And that metric is 'number of approaches'. An approach being any time you go up to a girl, she recognizes that you exist, and words come out of your mouth.
Those words can be anything. "Hey there, lol." Or "Hey banana", or "Hey, I'm *****". It doesn't matter. Just put all your frustrations and all your failed dating experiences into optimizing this single quantity. And come back when you've done a thousand approaches or so (no need to count exactly).
If you just go out and approach regularly, the distinctions that eventually allow you to be a boss at it will naturally arise over time. If you're not taking action, there's no need to theorize more, as it'll only confuse you.
Tarzak, I realize all this may not be related to your situation, as you have some significant experience and have been balling.
As I said, I agree with your point, and it's something I struggle with at times, just setting inhuman expectations for myself and those around me, sometimes ending in collapses or unpleasant situations.
Everything comes at a price, I suppose. I mostly like the way my brain works, but understand that there are lots of ways that are everything as valid, and sometimes and for some people much better.
So none of this is really meant as gospel. I'll just speak my mind, and if someone wants to listen, that's great, if not, that's great feedback.
I'll end by saying that after a certain point (after maybe 3 years in 'the game')—I started to notice that the whole notion of game, where I reward myself for just approaching again and again and again—was holding me back more than it helped.
It was necessary in the beginning. I needed something to hold onto and to learn to go out and meet people.
But ultimately, there is no 'game' as it's proposed in the PUA community. Doesn't exist. It's a mirage.
It's some shit we made up to fool ourselves into doing the stuff that would eventually lead us to being able to handle the truth and face ourselves.
This insight started coming together when I tried earlier this year—instead of running around making myself approach because the game or fuking Tyler told me I should—just standing there on the dancefloor and not even fuking dancing. Not doing shit. Just looking into the air.
And then a stunner comes up to me, looks at me for a second as if she's seen seen some hot alien, and then just starts making out with me.
And after that having a few pulls where it felt like I was doing NOTHING. It wasn't this grind of proving myself or doing the right thing. In fact, by removing that, things just sort of fell in place.
But again. If you're new or not taking action. Just go out and do a thousand (or a few thousands of) approaches. One at a time. And make it easy for yourself.
Peace.
[–]tarzak 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d like to thank you u/asknorway for a fleshed out and rational response. Much respect to you brother.
Your post (why was it removed by the way?) and comments are head on and non-evasive of feedback.
You hit a couple nails on the head. I do tend to hoard theory without taking action. You’re right, at a certain extent, it starts to get confusing. And as much as I want to say that I will be approaching extensively, allowing experience to be the teacher, I always find myself doubtful that I will find happiness at the end of the means. Whether the end is getting laid, wealthy, ripped, etc. I am constantly pondering the meaning and necessity behind these things and life in general. And I am well aware this may be the depression.
This influenced my target females. For the past 6 years i’ve been in two relationships with what most guys describe as “gems”. On one hand, i’ve always been the minimum effort maximum results typa guy. On the other hand, I always found it difficult to be sexual with someone I’m not connected to. So I opted for investing time and effort into developing a strong relationship with girls I find amazing. At least this was the case. I’m single now, on antidepressants, and in a new city in the opposite part of the world with a lotta fine women. And i’m eager to get back on the horse. But it’s been a while. Not gonna lie, being in relationships for so long softened me. But hey, it’s all about the journey right.
And again I appreciate your reply. Your insight compels me to imagine it so that I can incorporate it into my mindset. It helps me get back on track.
[–]anthonytoronto92 78 points79 points80 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Wow. I read the whole thing. This is a work of art! Everything is true. It all makes sense. This is what I try to teach my peers but can never find the exact words. You put a ton of effort into it. A+++
[–]asknorway 36 points37 points38 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks a lot. This long-form stuff won't attract the majority. But it's based on a looot of struggle, experimentation and winging with great guys.
If it can help one or a few solid guys who will do something with it, I'm happy. Cheers.
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
Can someone make a TLDR?
Lol why am I getting downvoted for asking a simple question. That's pretty toxic
[–]myfitbit 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You’re getting downvoted because of your intent. You seem to want the shortcut to success, which cannot be had, instead of doing the work which makes the success.
[–]nnaatteedd 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You're acting like shortening all of the bullshit OP typed above is some kind of lazy key to success. A shortcut to success would be like asking how to go from single to married in a week. Here u/Alt_Mayday it really wasn't as hard as u/myfitbit made it to to be.
TLDR: work out a ton, read a lot, work and/or be entrepreneurial all the time, never show interest to the girl you're with
Not short enough for ya???
TLDR2: be a (well rounded) tool that only cares about money that uses and emotionally abuses women
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks lol
[–]myfitbit 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That’s also shitty intent, mere speculation and a terrible summarization. Total winner my guy. U/Alt_Mayday, if you want better clarity on this go check out a few of these many life or dating coaches like tony Robbins, Neil Strauss, Mark mason, or Todd valentine. I’m sure there’s also “short guides” if that’s your thing.
[–]nnaatteedd 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Speculation??? I read the ridiculous post in it's entirety BEFORE even coming to the comments. What I said is exactly OPs "strategy" summed up.
[–]myfitbit 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never questioned that. I see further entertaining you is going to be a waste of my energy. I do recommend though that you work on your narcissism, which directly drives your intent. Best of luck.
[–]hrfotb 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Read it. Its golden. Needs to have a TSNM (too short needs more!)
[–]MuskIsAlien 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Read to like 6th line sounding like some incel shit
[–]NotARavenclaw 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right? Although, some of it is true. And apps like Tinder kinda shows it. Lots of girls get DMs. Guys do not. Girls have all the guys vying for them, guys do not.
It is true that everyone should always try to improve.
[–]Kyotobasedgod 26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
FACTS! Thanks big dawg. I’m 24 and I’ve been recently begun breaking out of my shell and I’ve started going after 9s and dimes lol. This just added fuel to the fire 🐐
[–]asknorway 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awesome!
[–]justaweeb1 26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I love you for this.
There u go, feed on my investment and ghost me
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]justaweeb1 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
By the way, I’m running an online business but i hooked up with an 8, i ended up wanting to date instead of focusing on what i really want which is succeeding in my business.
Girls are like drugs, you wanna keep on getting high. How does one focus on what they really want to achieve
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]justaweeb1 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I keep on chasing the high, it’s like escaping from reality, I couldn’t care less about the girl(s) but i hate being alone with reality (my thoughts and future and work in this case) and i end up being invested. Along with neglecting my business
Haha. Nah. I appreciate more and more people who don't get too hung up on it, actually. Thanks, man!
[–]thebochman 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This might be the best thing I've ever read on this sub. As the year and decade come to a close, this is the inspiration I needed.
My one question though, as someone who has been reading a ton of self improvement books, been in game telegram groups, read tons of articles online, I feel like there is just so much conflicting advice and it's hard to sift through what's useful and what's useless.
What are your top books and what advice do you have on this? I'm at the point now where I feel like it doesn't matter how many self improvement books because I'm never gonna be able to discern what will actually make me better.
For example, just the topic alone of "No contact" with a girl you like, some advocate for it, some advocate against it, both with convincing arguments. Same thing for fitness, for cutting weight some advocate for heavier weight, lower volume, while others for lower weight, higher volume, both with sources to back them up. I feel myself becoming so jaded with all of it like no matter what I do is a misstep.
Hey, man. Appreciate your interest. Thanks.
Several people asked for book recommendations.
I have a post on the r/BehavioralEconomics thread, and in the comments you'll find my list of some of the best resources (books and videos) I know on Econ, finance and psychology. Some gems in there I think.
Then, if you're able to, you can try searching me up on Goodreads.
My name there is 'Ask Gram Franck'. If you can find me, there should be a list on my profile of the books I've read. Most of them with some sort of review.
Hope that helps. Would be too time-consuming to list out and recommend books and stuff to everyone who asks, so I have lists.
Interesting topic you bring up about sifting through information. I think you gotta have a lot of self-awareness and a high bullshit-filter in this day and age to handle the bombardment.
My book lists could be a starting point. I think have a sort of intuitive filter of what's useful to me and what isn't. My guess is you probably do too to some extent.
You said this might be the best thing you read on this subreddit. So evidently you have some way of gauging. And I think that becomes better over time by using it.
I've become way more picky over time with the books I read, the people I hang out with etc. You just come to understand better who you are, where you are in life, what you want and what's useful to you.
I used to read a lot of self help books. But I think that once I had read maybe 50 great books in self-help, that's pretty much enough and I'd move on to other stuff. Self help is great, but it's such a tiny area of what's useful in the world.
History, technology, science, marketing, Econ, biographies. So much great stuff in those categories.
I don't think, for example, that I've read nearly as much as some of the OG's did by my age. Think Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet etc.
But I do think that I have an ability to select and filter great information, and that together with the internet, it has allowed me to make those 200 or so books really count.
There are some books that just give you more bang for your buck than reading 10 other books on the same subject. So I try to read those.
And I think for me, at least, trying to remove paradox, confusion and uncertainty entirely is not the most fruitful approach. My experience is that learning to live with higher degrees and levels of them will be more effective.
Cheers.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely incredible dude! I'm 19 myself and see the world very similarly to yourself. I see your influence, and I got to say that it's pretty crazy how that certain subreddit was able to totally change our lives for the better, and it makes me very sad to see the depressive cesspool of bitter, confused men that it has turned into. I've written posts similar to yours on old accounts, essentially summarizing certain theories without the obnoxious buzzwords and misogyny, and the reception has been universally great.
Maybe we're lucky, or maybe we're just strong, but either way we are rare. I cherish knowledge more than anything else in this world and of all the things I've worked to comprehend, why TF girls didn't like me was the most perplexing. Most men spend their entire lives baffled by gender-dynamics and envious of the men who seem to "get it." They're endlessly frustrated by the inability of their acquaintances that "get it" to provide any useful advise on what they need to start "getting."
Best of luck my friend!
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have to be careful with all this "game." You are young still, take any advice you get with a grain of salt, the only advice that matters is your personal experience and what you have learned/experience.
Yes, it definitely initially attracts a person, not even just a woman, but other people. They understand you understand your own worth, that is the key of this whole paragraph. You treat yourself with respect and demand others treat you with respect, that is the key to all of this.
You won't let a woman treat you a certain way. I had a girl, probably I would say a solid 9. I asked her out on a date and she stood me up. I told her I wasn't playing games and I was done. Now she has her friends come up and try to talk to me. I went up to her and her friends and they said and I quote "You are our hero." I think she wants to make something happen, but I won't, I respect myself. I won't LET myself be treated like that, I simply won't.
Know your value, but don't play games with her especially if it comes into a relationship. It becomes a team effort, however ALWAYS respect yourself. Always ask yourself if you are respecting your person and don't ever let anyone walk on you.
I would rather die, then not respect myself. In that there is power, real power.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the way all men should live. I believe this about myself as well and if the time ever comes where I must die or act without integrity, I hope I don't disappoint myself.
[–]LordHaragnok 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same boat as you my guy, been lurking since junior year and thought I'd be able to put the biggest bits into practice once I got to college, but sadly this had not turned out as I'd hoped. Still have a long way to go, though I've made progress since 15 year old me.
[–]NoAimMassacre 18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Didn't understand your point. Most posts here are so long, I just lose track. Whats your point?
[–]Flexappeal 34 points35 points36 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s just another 15 paragraph essay about how to be an alpha go-getter and succeed in life from a 23 year old, they’re all the same
[–]NoAimMassacre 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Tbh I dont wanna be that guy but 90% of the posts from the feed that I see seem to be like that.
'Yeah its all there is. Have an alpha mindset, and you'll bang girls. Easy bro'
And all the time they're typing this after their fourth girl of the week, right.
[–]Flexappeal 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I remember being that age and being hot shit with college thots for 4 years and thinking it made me a deity lolol
[–]connectiongold 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tbh I am that age and if I was that good with them, I’d feel pretty damn good about myself haha.
[–]connectiongold 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for calling this out for what it is. I’m honestly so sick of these posts. They all seem to be some kind of pseduo-motivational posts while saying very little at all, especially in the way of practical advice. It gets really old, and it’s not why I’m on this sub. It seems to be the same thing over and over again. And the adoration for them is just annoying.
[–]hitthewallrunning 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Maybe be real and have a real conversation with a girl? Maybe have your own interests so you won't have to play games so you don't look like a puppy dog. Maybe take your time? Too much too soon freaks people out. Women aren't the enemy, They're human beings with the same feelings as you. Self-improvement is great. But do it for yourself. Not to play a game.
[–]connectiongold 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Couldn’t agree with you more. I hate how this whole post is framed.
[–]MuzikVillain 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like you summarized OP's thoughts into a more concise and less-incel sounding paragraph. OP's first 6 paragraphs were basically "don't over invest, women are human beings too"
[–]anas_el 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have a question, while reading this "essay" i couldn't help but notice how well thought are your arguments and put together through well organised sentences. As for my question, is English your mother tongue? If not, would you say that reading the numerous books that you mentioned helped you to improve your writing skills. And if you could give some advice bearing in mind that English is my third language. Ty.
[–]asknorway 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks!
English is my second language. I'm born and raised in Norway, and Norwegian is my mother tongue.
Norway is small, so most people here speak English fairly well, and we learn it quite early in school.
I do feel like I am in many cases better able to express myself in English than Norwegian. That is not normal here. It's a much bigger language.
I've been an avid reader since quite early. My parents encouraged it, and I've always been decent with language.
There is zero doubt in my mind that my reading and educational habits have formed my English. I wasn't born speaking it, and haven't been surrounded by people speaking it in my physical environment most of my life.
I learned from watching movies and listening to music in childhood. From around 14, I started watching various self-help courses and dating stuff.
Since then, I've watched or listened to thousands of hours of content on everything from fitness to science to dating to business to masculinity etc.
That and especially all the reading helps for sure. I write A LOT (both personally and professionally), and can very much see the change in my natural expression depending on what book I'm reading or who I'm listening to and their language, style and mindset.
One thing that really puts the extra touch on a piece of text, and which I've recently made myself do more and more, especially in my work, is to just read through and edit several times.
I did that on this OP. What I do is read through and edit what I want on repeat, until I can read through the entire text without wanting to change anything.
So I kind of made that a rule for any important text, and would say it really helps. It's those little details and nuances that really have an effect and emotional impact. Just like in social interaction and dating.
The underlying flow, rhythm etc.
[–]88Question88 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
OP in your opinion what are the "must read" books about dating, masculinity, social interations, well anything that helped you develop your skills with people
[–]CollapseSoMainstream 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Dunno why you deleted it, it's worth reading.
Men and women are good at different things, and have survived largely by exchanging their services.
Tiny, initial margins turn into big, long-term advantages. Men are usually not as attuned to these tiny, initial differences in investment as women are. And that, in effect, becomes their advantage.
By getting men to make that tiny, initial, emotional, social and energetic investment on the front-end, a cascading effect ensues, and results in a situation where the women get to pick and choose with minimal downside. All the while receiving protection, support and provision from every angle.
They hedge their bets and focus on growing their options before committing. Growing the pie before eating it. It's smart, and we men should learn from them.
The solution for you and me is; don't get fooled. Learn to abstain from making the initial investment based on her physical attraction and lure. See through it. See through the lies, the fakery and the image (mirage). Without getting bitter.
It's not that women are evil for doing this. They're smart. And almost every chump falls for it and gets a sour deal. But you don't have to be one of them. This is good news for you, because you'll have little competition by being one of the few guys who 'get it'.
Every guy who 'gets it' knows this subconsciously. But most of them can't explain it because they've had it from an early age and don't know what it's like to be a chump.
Perhaps they were handsome and chased by all the girls from an early age. Or their dad was a gangster and taught them a better way. Or they were just naturally confident or charismatic. Or even sort of a sociopath, allowing them to disconnect from the standard narrative.
Most girls also don't think this stuff consciously. It's in their genes and in their culture.
At bottom, it's a societal narrative, naturally evolved to keep all the chump, discontented men who are not gonna be participating in the gene-pool in any meaningful way, still contributing to the society and the economy, still behaving well and not causing too much trouble or outrage.
Again. Abstain from making the initial investment. The pretty girls are so used to and addicted to getting this, because of all the benefits it brings, that they will start chasing.
"What do I have to do to get it? A smile, maybe? Moving a little closer? Shake my ass and expose the 'goodies'? Dress up and put make-up on? Post sexy instagram photos?"
"Oh! There it is. Invested like all the other guys. Thousands of likes. Every guy I meet salivating. The approval of society. Now I can enjoy the rewards, with no need to give up my sexual favors to any of them. Or just to the party boys I choose, or one champ if I can find/attract one. Pretty good deal, right?"
You must learn to resist the lure. Usually by going out and getting fooled a bunch of times. Again and again and again. Thousands of times in my case, and in the case of everyone I've seen going from true shit to awesome at this.
Slowly but surely, you must learn to see through the marketing. And instead of putting your precious time, effort, emotional investment and problem-solving capabilities into a pretty girl who just runs away with them, you must put them into yourself.
You must put them into your own systems. Building a business/career. Reading A TON of books and educating yourself. Becoming financially independent and well-off.
But instead of being bitter towards women and just crying and masturbating for all those years, you choose another path. You still go out and meet women.
But instead of giving up your investment for an empty promise of sex—a smile, a nice face, a fat ass etc—you develop your own individual criteria and your own standards. Away from and stronger than the ones society feeds you.
You discover that a girl who is a 9 in looks can be a 1 as a human being. You experience the horrifying results that can come from investing in her. And you learn not to be fooled. You discover how rare quality people and quality girls are. You begin to question if they even exist.
You actually get laid enough times to see that sex doesn't really deliver on its promise. It's just a human with a hairy, stinky asshole just like you, whom you put your penis in and out of until you cum, and then it's over and back to just like before.
[–]CollapseSoMainstream 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Seriously. Next time you fu*k a pretty girl—have her lay on her stomach, then spread her asscheeks apart and look at it. Sniff it. Is this what you've been chasing?
What slowly starts to happen when you reverse course is that girls start chasing you.
They can feel that you're not taking their bait, but everyone else is. "So why won't this guy?" She must find out.
Is there something wrong with the narrative she's been fed, rewarded, but also imprisoned by all her life?
The potential collapse—but also the potential freedom—from her entire, socially constructed world, lurks in the shadows.
No. She can't allow that. She must get the investment. She must find out. Are her most secret hopes and dreams about to come true? Are her deepest, underlying fears, terrors and suspicions being confirmed? Or is it both?
Her worldview must be confirmed, as it always has. She must be right. Am I right or am I wrong? Am I good or am I bad? We all look for this type of confirmation and approval. We want the world and its people to confirm our notions and beliefs. Our rightness.
And so she chases. She starts inquiring and buying into and investing in your worldview and your standards.
What she finds there will determine everything.
"If he doesn't bite on this, what will he bite on?"
She tries more.
"Maybe some kissing... Now we're making out... But he isn't reacting like he should... He isn't putting me on a pedestal like everyone else. He seems to enjoy it, but doesn't latch on."
She feels that she could leave at any time, without affecting you in any significant way. You don't give a shit. You're not impressed by her little facade. Not fooled. Only amused. And so she gets more and more invested.
She fuks you. How about now? Sucks your cok.
Maybe she has to hang out with you more. Then become your girlfriend.
If at any point in this process you compromise or sell out your investment in yourself for her, then you're done.
But if you stay on your grind... If the focus and dedication to your bigger vision as a man doesn't deviate... Proving the strength, truth and superior foundations on which your universe is built...
Then she's gonna want to keep investing. She's found a champion.
Why wouldn't she choose the vastly better option if she has any sense? If she's a quality woman with good values and self-respect, she's not gonna give up a true champion like that for the sake of going back to the empty approval of an endless array of chumps.
Besides, she still gets that on social media and from guys everywhere looking at her.
Hopefully, if it's a girl you're gonna invest in over the long term, she's been brought up in a solid family with a champion father and good values beyond her looks and the empty approval it brings.
She values education, intelligence, fitness, health and building something for the long term—just like you. And then you keep investing in each other, bringing your different strengths to the table, building a fucking empire.
Of course, by the time you're worthy of this type of a situation, you've probably banged a lot of other chicks and built something respectable in terms of education and business. You're on a comeup with lots of ambition, momentum, zest for life and a solid peer-group.
Otherwise, why the hell should a top-notch girl be interested in giving up her other options in order to be with you? It's opportunity cost. You have to be the best alternative, and with sufficient (but not excessive) availability, for the right people to wanna invest their time, energy and resources in you.
What I've described here is not easy. It takes years. I'm 23 at the moment, have been on the grind for about a decade, and am nowhere near where I think I could or want to be.
I'd say I'm in the process of incorporating these things now, and it has taken years and years of grind.
Lifting weights since I was 13, learning the discipline, walking the path, reading everything I could get my hands on since a very early age, getting into pickup extremely early, going out literally hundreds of days and nights sober, and talking to thousands and thousands of girls.
Climbing up slowly, falling down, crying for a while, then dusting myself off, correcting the broken bones and giving it another go.
Reading a couple hundred GREAT books so far. Constantly processing information and trying to do better. Busting my ass in various jobs. Doing door-to-door sales for 8 months.
Working in a startup. Learning from countless mentors in real life and through the internet and books. Going back to school and now educating myself in science and computer programming.
Just grinding forward one step at a time. One gym session at a time. One nutritional adjustment. One approach. One interaction. One hour of reading. Forcing myself to do that one most important work task or finish that project. Again and again and again.
All the while suffering and doubting myself. Being confused. Looking for help or support. Looking for sources of information and people that had solved the problems I was facing.
And I don't even think where I am now is very impressive. I'm pretty much still broke, even though I've been able to make a little money entrepreneurially besides my studies in order to eat. I am quite jacked (ripped, strong, fit).
And 'pickup' is getting easier and easier. I've been amazed at times when just doing so much less in the club has resulted in so much more. Less effort, less action, more results. You can put me in pretty much any sizable city in the world, on my own, and I'm confident I can go out, talk to anyone I want, meet cool people and over time date and get laid with hot girls.
I was also not particularly talented in these areas to begin with.
I was a weak and skinny kid. It was harder for me to put on weight, muscle and strength than for a lot of guys.
I was so socially backward that you wouldn't believe it. My dad has been socially inept and anxious his whole life himself, so I didn't have great role models.
I spent years just being confused, almost never talking in social situations. Scared out of my mind. Afraid to look people in the eyes. It took years to even somewhat correct and learn how to deal with this. Years of pushing directly and aggressively into fear. Starting with very small steps and building.
The one big advantage I think I have had is sheer curiosity, and a decent amount of drive for certain pursuits. A very obsessive nature that doesn't let go easily.
Voracious reading certainly helped a lot in several areas, from fitness to pickup to business. I've always been incredibly curious, and score in like the 96th percentile on the 'openness to experience' trait on Big Five.
Anyway. This isn't really about me. But the vision I've described here is not unattainable, given the right amount of drive, intelligence, persistence, integrity and even some luck. Probably a good bit of luck, to be fair. I don't think any of us would have accomplished much being born 200 years ago or in certain countries etc.
To summarize:
Following the standard path and the standard narrative is not gonna be good for most guys. The standard outcome will be very bad. Most of society will never tell us the truth, or try to help us with this type of information. Many of the guys who have tried have met with vicious resistance and attacks from the mainstream.
The momentum and the entropy, in other words, is against you. And it is incredibly hard to reverse. But the good thing is that if you're able to reverse it and get the momentum going your way in a tiny but significant way, over time the compound effect can work in your favor. It can build on itself to your benefit.
But it's up to you to get it going, to take the long and scary beating and drudgery of reversing course and going against the current. And it will be a beating. A front-loaded beating. So it just depends.
If you're willing to take it now, you may have a chance at a truly outstanding and extraordinary life. The things you can learn and discover could be incredible. Things that no one has seen or done before. A real adventure.
For those who need the comfort of the herd and are unable or unwilling to break out, I personally think the majority are going to get a much worse beating down the road.
A beating called "your whole life is a lie, and you will be a slave, being told what to do, selling your time and your energy for crumbles on the ground while getting the shit kicked out of you by society and women for the rest of your life. Your potential will be gone forever."
Or, to quote Ernest Hemingway at his best: "You will die like a dog for no good reason."
I suppose that may apply to all of us. But let's cheer up while we can, haha.
Peace out.
[–]asknorway 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hey, man. I don't understand. Was it removed? If so, it wasn't me, so must have been a moderator or something. If so, it's the second really popular post I've posten in a few days that has been deleted. This time I can't see any good reason for it... Will check it out.
[–]asknorway 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Confirmed that it was deleted by mods. I've contacted them and asked for explanation. Thanks for reposting.
[–]CollapseSoMainstream 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Weird.
[–]spartan1337 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
tl;dr mothafucka
[–]Theelementofsurprise 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know you're trying to help, but I'm not sure I've ever seen so little explained by so many words
[–]_Zaacki_ 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truly inspirational
[–]Brohammer53 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
goddamn this hits
[–]xxxmuffin22 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m just a year older than you and I gotta say I’m ashamed at how I’ve been living my life thus far thx for making this post definitely something I needed to hear. I know I gotta be the one in my life to take charge and make these changes or else I’m a keep getting the same results have a good New Years cheers
[–]imnotdonking 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds great. What’s your goal? Is it just to tie down a 10/10? Other 23 year olds have achieved this without lifting a finger. Why are u so happy?
Man thank you for taking the time to share your precious experience and learnings
[–]marcomhx 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude, what you just wrote is a gem. I can totally relate to you. Hope we can connect to each other and maybe do some business and make money. Male, 22
[–]p3nguinboy 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
u/asknorway I have a question: did you take economics in university?
Btw this is suuuuuuper useful, saved this post for sure.
Thanks. I did start off in business school for one semester, but then switched to science, and now computer science. But finance and econ interests me hugely, so I've been reading and studying it obsessively on my own time for the last 6 months or so.
[–]p3nguinboy 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice
Cuz I can see it in your way of writing
I hope to get accepted at Frankfurt School of Finance !!
[–]FelineOutline 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Write a book! clapping
This is some type of a road to self-actualization if I understood right. Great valuable post.
[–]Dapodeen2 points 6 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
BROO I saved this post to finish reading later and now it’s gone. Is there any way I could read the rest or am I fucked lol
[–]asknorway 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Admins deleted it. As far as I can see, with no good reason. I've sent them a message asking for an explanation.
Internet censorship in general is scaring the hell out of me right now. It's been too disruptive to the people in power, so they're coming in, and together with the big tech companies taking control of what people can and cannot say. Scary as hell.
Probably futile, but I'm doing a bachelor's in comp. science now, and will try to do something grassroots style as I get better and have more contacts.
But anyway. That's beyond this post. Mods should not be allowed to delete this. I looked at the rules. And it's obviously valuable according to many of you guys.
[–]Dapodeen1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Is there a way you could send me the post by any chance?
I think u/CollapseSoMainstream re-posted it below here somewhere.
[–]the_a-train17 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This makes so much sense. Well written.
Appreciate it.
[–]The_Temperance 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You should write a self-help book! Great read!
[–]asknorway 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Glad you liked it!
[–]Cynical_Doggie 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do I keep myself going?
I have an internal drum pounding every time I am grinding at a task.
I tell myself "Again... Again... Again... Again.." Keep pounding that drum.
It's almost impossible to be too tired to do something. It's a matter of pounding that drum and proceeding regardless.
[–]Sameerkat9873 points 6 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I understand the adivce but like how do you put it into a real life scenario i.e Can someone give me an example, like maybe at a bar
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]poortrait100 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My text messages and attention and spoiling your existence are an 11/10, Beta
[–]watwasmyusername 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Uhh yeah that's boring sex. Good sex is harder to come by and is the exact thing I personally chase.
[–]omega_constant 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I stopped reading here. OP creates an air of knowing what he's talking about but these are the ramblings of a pretentious virgin. Any woman that showers regularly and cleans herself properly will smell great down below, as anywhere else on her body. Is there something objectionable in the view of a hot girl's spread ass cheeks?? If so, I've missed it. Not everyone has the same chemistry but the single best fragrance I have ever smelled (a thousand times better than the best perfume or cologne you will ever find) is the vagina of a beautiful woman, dripping wet and eager for sex. It is the cleanest, purest, most refreshing thing imaginable, there is nothing else like it in the world, not even close.
I'm glad that you've mastered the mechanics of intercourse but if that's all you think there is to sex, you're missing about 90% of the experience. Sex is just 10% physical, 90% mental/emotional. I'm not going to read the rest of a lukewarm post that paints this kind of apathetic picture of the sexual experience. There's a reason that sex is called "making love". It is a physical mirror of the spiritual connection between two people who are in love. Not everybody shares your apathy.
[–]MuzikVillain 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not going to read the rest of a lukewarm post
You missed out criticizing other part's of his post since he spends about the first 6 paragraphs repeating himself.
[–]got_that_advil 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah that first part confused me. I’ve 69ed a few girls and I’ve had their asses directly in my face—haven’t experienced any funky or strange odors yet, and it’s mad fun. OP’s gonna have to start bringing razors and baby wipes with him if that’s how these girls are doing him 🤣
[–]omega_constant 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
haven’t experienced any funky or strange odors yet
On many occasions, I bodily tackled my ex to the bed when she got back from the gym, dripping in sweat, because she was sexy as hell. We didn't 69 but that's only because she wouldn't let me (too self-conscious) not because of any objections I had to it. When you're that intimate with one partner for that long, you've sniffed everything. So, OP's remark, "Sniff it. Is this what you've been chasing?" makes me think that (a) OP is likely a virgin, (b) OP is likely asexual or borderline asexual, or both. No shame in either of those things, but OP is also passing himself off as some kind of Casanova who has achieved enlightenment apparently by realizing that girls' butts have hair and their assholes stink? I don't know what kind of girls he sleeps with but, like you, I've never experienced any obstacles related to excessive hair or odor, down below.
[–]takingitsrs 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Take my fking upvote
[–]asknorway -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha. Thx
[–]browithme21 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You're an excellent writer
Thanks, man!
[–]Swert_Nipples 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I dont understand how one can read, workout, develop a career, maintain platonic relationships, and work on talents and hobbies all while devoting time and money to going out and meeting women. That last part is absolutely exhausting. I'd love to find a way to meet people while enjoying my hobbies but the only social settings that accessible to me in upstate new york are bars and clubs. I know I'm missing out on positive experiences by rejecting the bar/club scene but I still have much to gain by being prudent in how I manage my time.
[–]Quest4Peace 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this ....read , workout , developing a career is exhausting in itself. Where do you have time to go out and meet women ? May be in Gym settings or may be in your hobbie setting. Probably ...but yeah it is exhausting.
[–]Vinceeyyyy 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great perspective! Even though its stuff we hear all the time 'work on yourself, work on yourself, work on yourself' this really makes you think about it! Thanks for this bro!
[–]magicmonkeyjunk 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Read the book SHANTARAM. Cheers mate, good shit!
[–]hcarguy 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do we get them to chase if we're the one approaching though?
[–]njptoo86 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is really good
[–]The_Frag_Man 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seems like a lot of work
[–]No-MEME 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am learning how to get more girls step by step by watching every movies,reading funny stories.try talking to girls but failed of coz,my texting skill is also terrible,i always end up interview them when texting to them.i am an introvert for years so this may take time but i wont give up,thank you for your post i ‘ve learned something new today
[–]Drewskie888 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Comment for read later
What are ways I can self-improve and put more energy towards myself. I feel like I already put a lot of energy towards myself and there’s still a lot left over to give out to girls and be the nice guy. I’ve been working out, got a job, am getting good grades, have been learning to draw. Yet, with all this, I still find that I spend a lot of time thinking about (and worshipping) chicks who I deem attractive. How can I stop this?
[–]BallinPoint 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh how do I like these pseudo-scientific, genetically expressed, by upbringing explained, I-pretend-like-I-understand-evolution darwinian type of bullshit that some guy just concocts up in his mind while sitting in front of a computer screen getting off on his own pseudo-science. Ain't nuttin better than dis.
[–]lilyros2 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know you don't want to hear "get a better computer" but that might be the likely solution. I utilise Google Drive (and the suite) heavily with lots of files, plenty of Google Docs with 100+ pages (pictures throughout) and on my fast computer, it's pretty fast and slow and terrible on my spare laptop. I can't imagine that switching to an alternative on the same computer will yield better results. You can try Evernote (free) though.
[–]MatCreatesStuff 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So, why was the post removed?
[–]asknorway 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is it removed?
[–]MatCreatesStuff 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Perhaps you already know, but you can log out and check to see if you see it. From my end, it's gone. I was looking forward to reading it, but I saw a TLDR in the comments.
[–]Undiscriminatingness 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Poppycock. Horsefeathers!
Okay, so mods deleted this, and I've asked for an explanation. My understanding was that a moderator's job is to filter out bullshit to make the forum valuable. Not to delete posts that follow the rules and give the most value to its community according to the community itself. But let's hear what they have to say..
[–]QuantumShit00 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Damn brother why did you delete it? I saved it so i can read it later and now i open its deleted :(
Can anyone give me a summary? Seemed like a good post when i skimmed through it, but havent read it.
[–]SmileBot-2020 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I saw a :( so heres an :) hope your day is good
[–]smile-bot-2019 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I noticed one of these... :(
So here take this... :D
[–]Chimera_Tail_Fox 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was frankly shocked when I read that youre 23. You have wisdom beyond your years as this is spot on.
[–]bcool871 points 6 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
A+. Now in my early 30s, I've come to similar realizations. Good food for thought in 2020.
Appreciate it. Happy new year, buddy!
[–]zomboy1111 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You ever try LSD?
[–]the_red_firetruck 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think hes talking about that type of "getting it" hahaha
[–]arjungmenon 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just started reading, but could someone tell me what the “tiny investment” being referenced here is? I’m a tiny bit lost.
[–]Nighthaven- 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Have you been with women who are not primal though? (true defined wants in needs)
When I didn't have status, wealth or extremely handsome looks, but slightly above average looks and I suppose 'potential' (through how I acted and what I said) - I had better candidates for potential partners on average (for long relationships), yet far less matches.
Your post also described why society does not encourage suicide. At the end of the day, someone has to 'scrub the toilets', but also and contribute to society economically.
If you have fallen far behind the curve as a man, and have ABSOLUTELY no way of improving your life (and you supposedly don't enjoy any part of it) - ie. all super drastic measures taken, just end your life and be done with it. - Which is the reason why suicide rate is thrice as high for men age 20-30 (pressure to perform well). - most homeless are men (as you can't just offer pussy and be housed).
Today we are seeing some big changes in society for the better (Women's rights), but the advantages of being a man diminishes, yet most women (and men) still have primal tendencies as in looking for wealth, status or handsome looks. (primal traits of primal men does not affect them negatively, as they'll most likely simply be looking for youth (and men age slower and looks of girls fade/ expire much faster)) - the reason for age difference in relationships.
[–]Dick_C_Normus7 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Something I don't understand here. This talks about not giving a shit. Not being phased by anything, not letting her words and actions noticeably affect you, which is what every single dating book and coach has said. However, us men are also supppsed to make a move and hit on a woman but if we're not supposed to be affected by her, wouldn't asking her out show the opposite?
[–]MuzikVillain 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This talks about not giving a shit. Not being phased by anything, not letting her words and actions noticeably affect you, which is what every single dating book and coach has said.
IMO it's important to give a shit, just make sure you're prioritizing the important things in life.
us men are also supppsed to make a move and hit on a woman but if we're not supposed to be affected by her, wouldn't asking her out show the opposite?
Putting yourself out there and being direct in dating shows that you are willing to be vulnerable and not afraid. It doesn't mean you should spill your heart out to every romantic interest but how can a person claim to be nonchalant and give no fucks if there have to hide who they are because of their insecurity of giving her "the upper hand"?
[–]Classic_Touch -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We have ourselves a badass over here (stated in a very sarcastic voice).
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