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[–]BrexFlexx 196 points197 points198 points 5 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
They are all terrible but number 6, omg i hate that so much
[–]ihatemyuser 54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Where are y'all seeing six points? All I see are 1 and 2...
[–]thats0K 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
can you count up to 6? there are 6 points, terribly numbered.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Radioactive24 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I mean, do you wear it on your ring finger to convey the idea that you're married?
[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]IWLoseIt 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Most people wouldn't ask they would just assume
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daveinpublic 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmm.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where can you get that ring? I love the uncharted games
[–]HORAMAN76 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I got it custom made from Etsy
[–]mustBeCool 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I mean, if you don't mind the reduction in attention, go for it. But I'm sure you're not feigning naivete at the idea of other people assuming it's a wedding/engagement ring, right? Because that would be the real bs
[–]HORAMAN76 -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'm not wearing it for attention tho.
[–]mustBeCool 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No doubt. And you're actively losing it with the ring on your finger.
[–]HORAMAN76 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't understand this toxicity. Why am I getting downvoted just because I wear a ring? I'm not trying to gain attention nor am I looking for a relationship
[–]mustBeCool 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I can't speak for the downvotes since i haven't downvoted you. However, if you want my thoughts, it does appear that you're trying to be obtuse. The point was that a ring on the ring finger is often, safely assumed to be an engagement or wedding ring. So a potential love interest is rightfully going to steer clear of pursuing someone who is wearing a ring, even if the wearer is one of the extreme minorities who wears a ring on their left ring finger strictly for fashion purposes
Ok the way you put it makes a lot of sense now thank you. I can see how ppl would steer clear of me because I have a ring lol
[–]jackzander -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ah, so you're wearing jewelry for its practical value...
[–]HORAMAN76 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes because I think it looks nice...
[–]jackzander -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You think other people will think it looks nice.
aka: wearing it for attention
Jewelry has no practical value, bob. Not sure if you missed the joke there.
[–]HORAMAN76 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dude. I dont care what people think. I wear it because it makes me happy like what are you on about
[–]jackzander -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you really didn't care what people think, would you bother trying to explain yourself to strangers on the internet?
Just be real. We aren't dressing ourselves for our mirror's benefit.
[–]girthy_bigmac 79 points80 points81 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Red flags look like Six flags when you’re horny
[–]justrainalready 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Username is hilarious too
[–]dareamet 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ohmigod hahaha, thanks for this, I laughed for a solid 20 seconds. #quarantinedandsingle
[–]girthy_bigmac 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem #ifitainttoxicandbadformyhealthidontwantit
[–]DavisAF 54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How do you differentiate love bombing from genuine interest and excitement of a date
[–]JakeMullerRE 93 points94 points95 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lovebombing: 'omg, I love you so much and cant live without you. I need and want you so bad otherwise I cant function properly. Here, let me gift you a hundred roses even though we just met'.'
Genuine interest: 'I enjoyed hanging out with you. Lets meet up again at x on x'.
[–]sleezer 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Someone who has enough emotional maturity will be able to show excitement and even let their feelings be known without it being inappropriate if the other person does not feel the same way.
[–]me_burner_1 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You can tell. If they sound desperate, then they are and they will wear you out with all of their drama.
[–]clhawks 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree, it will be obvious
[–]abhi_07 40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Alertcircuit 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
This one's a red flag because of what'll happen when the relationship ends. Whenever shit goes down with someone who's always on socials, there's oftentimes mountains of subtweets bringing your relationship problems to the attention of everyone. And if they have a finsta, well, good luck Charlie.
[–]Rock_Granite 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
finsta
Finsta?
[–]Alertcircuit 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fake! insta. A secondary insta where u only add people you know, where drama is posted. Usually guys just post rants and memes, girls drama and nudes. That's my experience out of the hundred or so I've added
[–]Rock_Granite 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL. That's almost dual personality shit!
[–]blackstonechery 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How many people actually come clean about number 3 when they're on a date with a new person? I guess if they cheated on their ex with you? But usually they have some mental gymnastics of an explanation that justifies it to themself.
[–]JesustheSpaceCowboy 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can confirm that they do mental gymnastics to justify, I did them earlier to try and justify my own incident when I was trying to figure out how to tell a girl I’m talking with, then decided not to say anything about it cause it’s in the past and it’s not something to I’m trying to do again lmao.
[–][deleted] 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
She has a history of abusive relationships
Says she can only date "damaged people"
Lies for acceptance/attention
Nothing is ever her fault/ always bad people around her
Breaks promises
Has lots of tattoos( not trying to offend anyone, but bad experience)
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the assist. I'd be lying if I also didn't have this problem to a degree.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you
[–]canuckle1211 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I agree, also tattoos can be cool but a lot of bad ones can indicate bad judgment or decision making.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
It was more of the fact that they always "claimed" to be in poverty, yet here's a new large one under the arm, and behind the ear. I heard that one has a different meaning though.
[–]canuckle1211 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Lol, exactly, tattoos aren't cheap. It shows bad decision making with money imo.
[–]Ivegotthatboomboom -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link
I mean you shouldn't make assumptions, my ex and son's Dad owns a few tattoo shops and is a fantastic artist himself. I have a sleeve worth 5k (he's a top artist in a bigger city and runs $250 per hour, although sleeves are usually flat rate of anywhere between 3k-6k). I didn't pay a penny.
But since we split up I went back to college, just graduated and am still living in a very small two bedroom student parent housing unit getting ready to start grad school. Grad students get paid a pittance pretty much. So I've been a single mom living on a strict budget. He pays child support and has 40% custody (because he works more hours) but still. I consider myself poor rn because pretty much anything extra goes to my son. I would be very sad and so embarrassed if someone saw my sleeve and my situation and made assumptions.
I can't say I would blame them entirely but financially irresponsible and impulsive single mother is not the look I'm going for that's for sure. Add other expensive shit like my breast implants and yeah...it's never occured to me that people might make a snap judgment like that because none is true. Those were paid for when I was a full time bartender making 90k a year. I'm super financially responsible and really hard working. I got two degrees while working as a single mom. The only reason I even have implants is because my credit is so good I got interest free payments and I had a high income.
I'm sad now lol Don't judge a book by it's cover people. You really can't just assume shit
[–]h1mera 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
There are two the same books in a library. The same content, the same author. First one is completely new, right from printing house. Another one with painted cover, with a notes on pages etc. Which one will you choose?
[–]Ivegotthatboomboom 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
Lol yeah no...that doesn't make sense. If you're calling me "used" then trust me dude you are NOT who I want hitting on me. Thank you. Because now I see my tats as a protection against weirdos who engage in cognitive errors like you. lol fully embracing! Especially because they do look good
[–]h1mera 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I fully agree with you. Tattoos are protection against weirdos like me. Smoking are protection against me, overeating is also protection. And a lot of other things ;-)
[–]Ivegotthatboomboom 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Tattoos have nothing to do with not being concerned about your health. I would honestly stop with the attempts at analogies. Especially because I'm not a smoker and weight 110.
[–]h1mera 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Would not work with me anyway as your height is 5ft 6 maximum. You should be 5ft 11 ;-)
[–]Ivegotthatboomboom 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You know they teach not to stereotype people in like 1st grade right? Maybe you should learn that lesson
[–]jackzander 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A bonus if you're just looking to be another bad decision.
[–]CarolineSap 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Interesting theory. All my bills are paid months in advance, I own two successful businesses (one built from the ground up that is debt free), and I'm definitely financially stable. The only debt I have is my house and under $4k for a business I purchased last week. I have tattoos that weren't cheap and very well planned out both artistically and financially. Granted, you'll never see me with a Starbucks cup or a credit card in my hand.
[–]CarolineSap 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not a fan of crappy over priced coffee
[–]clhawks 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hits home
[–]Ivegotthatboomboom 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
The thread is about universal red flags dude not characteristics about the person that screwed YOU over. The 1st and last don't apply
[–]nicolemorin 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Have to disagree with the tattoo one. While yes there are some people with tattoos that aren’t good people, you can’t put everyone with tattoos into one category. I’m a pretty heavily tattooed woman and I would never do anything like this when in a relationship, and I’m also financially responsible. However my tattoos were done very well, I’d still question someone’s decision making if I see their tattoos are done very poorly. 😂 Instead of putting all tattooed people into one category based off a few experiences maybe try and judge them by their character.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That was never my intention to offend all tattooed people in one category. I assure you this was just one person, and her characteristics I promise I'm holding back on. Those were just the cliff notes. Again I did not mean to offend you or any other tattooed people.
[–]nicolemorin 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s no problem! Not at all offended, just I see tattooed people being judged a lot solely based on their appearance and it’s a bit of a bummer. 🤷🏻♀️
[–]passingnotes26 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Took me years to see that #5 was a red flag and not “love at first sight” 😂
[–]notalentnodirection 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good points.
Number 6 though..so many dates I’ve cut short.
[–]Nighthaven- 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
they prioritize short term feelings over long term goals. In this case, encourage them to get help.
You can't, they're simply driven by instinct - and they are many.
[–]GDR1 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hope your list is not based only on personal experience
[–]survivalmaster69 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What if its multiple rings tho. Ima guy who wears 3 rings or 4 is that still a red flag
[–]no1special_snowflake 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No OP is talking specifically about marriage rings in that one
[–]survivalmaster69 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh okay thiught rings in general. Cuz i tend to wear a lot
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Man you must've been MVP then?
[–]survivalmaster69 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dont get wym why wouod I be mvp
[–]PartyWithArty44 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What is number five? Love bombing?. Edit: google search and found it. My last ex did that shit.
[–]_rxshx 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What does love bombing mean?
[–]PartyWithArty44 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yea quick google search I found it
[–]_rxshx 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Jeez, why didnt i think of that. Thank you comrade.
[–]PartyWithArty44 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yea bud. Look up the examples. My last ex did quite a few of those i.e. let’s move in together we’re perfect for each other etc with in2 months of meeting
[–]_rxshx 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Funny how blind we become at times. Only if we knew it would leave a scar... Hope youre doing good.
[–]PartyWithArty44 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve actually had a good friend of mine mention she wasn’t right for me. Kinda the outside looking in effect. Yea I’m doing a lot better. Finishing my degree this semester, paying my off vehicle and getting a house next year. I’m blessed. Hope you’re doing well aswell! Or atleast keep on keeping on
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All are so true
[–]Quemony 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Say more please ☺️
[–]jack_of_AllTrades-97 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For a moment I thought the headline was talking about the "red flag" of Formula1 after all the drama today
[–]me_burner_1 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Asking for Money and Obviously the ring things are DEFINITELY to No-Goes. Been there (Once) and won't ever again.
[–]helpmylifeis_a_mess 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahh the Ring thing, I've encountered that many times because I wear one on my ring finger. It's my mother's old ring and it looks like an engagement/marriage ring, but im not married, im just in a relationship with my boyfriend.
If you ask about the ring, then you'll get clarifications if there are some to be given. My boyfriend asked me about my ring before we started dating and i explained it was my mother's and he was cool with it, but often people think im married and i get odd looks for it too. But i know im part of the few people who do wear rings on their ring finger, but thats just because it falls off from all the other fingers if i wear it on them.
But do watch out for the married/engaged ones though, that is a serious problem too and that is probably the majority of the cases with that though.
[–]champagneshowers11 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good post m8.
Funny story: one time I was hitting on this chick and I was plastered, I asked her to dance (we were at a club) then she proceeds to tell me she was engaged, I was so drunk I kept hitting on her but the morning after realized that I felt bad for her fiancé haha.
[–]bqhatevwrsb 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What's the threshold where it's no longer considered a rebound? 6 months?
[–]somedude9797 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very important post!
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sunlitstream264 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
There’s a difference between the cosmetic rings and marriage rings. People can tell the difference
[–]Alertcircuit 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also people who just like wearing rings will have common sense and wear them on any finger OTHER than their third, since that indicates marriage.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
a ring worn on the ring finger is traditionally associated with marriage across the globe
Does it still matter if your wearing 2 1 each on the ring finger? Is it still red flag cuz i do that
[–]DuckyDoodleDandy 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So when something is so common that very few people question it, you are saying “ignore this probable red flag on the small chance that it doesn’t mean what everyone thinks it means”?
[–]Fox009 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Definitely reasonable to have assumptions here.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DuckyDoodleDandy 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And yet as a single person, if I put a ring that looks like a wedding ring on the 3rd finger of my left hand, 90%+ of people would assume I’m married. So if I do wear a ring, it is generally on another finger, and/or looks noting like a wedding ring.
It’s an almost universal symbol and you are saying to ignore it because it is not 100%. Why not drive through red lights while you’re at it? There isn’t always a car coming the other way!
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ou know they just like wearing rings and you’re reading way too deep into it? I agree it’s better to just ask, but making assumptions about people’s intentions based off the jewelry they’re wearing is weird.
This is the most inaccurate thing I've read in a long time. If she is wearing a ring on her wedding finger the list of reasons are all really bad.
1) She's married, recently widowed/widowed, or unwilling to change.
2) She's too stupid to realize that wearing a ring on her wedding finger makes her look like one.
I'm not saying don't ask her why, but it's a problem.
I'm n
[–]helpmylifeis_a_mess 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I get what you're saying and it's the case in atleast 90+% of the cases, but I wear my mother's old ring (silver with a small sapphire in the middle) it looks like a engagement/marriage ring but the only finger it actually stays on without slipping right off is my ring finger.
I don't know how many people asked me about my husband, then i have to explain that its actually my mother's ring and its a cute little story i give, and people quickluy learn that i've got a bf/or don't.
My boyfriend doesn't care too much that I wear a ring, but he has noted that i get hit on a lot less when i wear it when he's around and he certainly doesn't look like he dislikes that idea. He smiles whenever people say my fiance loves me so much and then he corrects them and they're always like "Oh! I'm so sorry I assumed/But you look so cute together/Maybe he'll propose soon (this gets whispered to me as a joke and i laugh along with it sometimes)"
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpmylifeis_a_mess 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
but i mean before i had a boyfriend, i was wearing it. My point is, is that you should ask about it if there is one.
[–]helpmylifeis_a_mess -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's when you casually slip in a "Hey, I've noticed you've got a ring on..." and you pray that the answer/reply is truthful and, if unfortunately it is commitment to someone else, then you walk away with a "Sorry, I can't do this/any other equivalent you deem acceptable" but all the better if the answer is something like a parent's ring or just a fashion accessory they've chosen. You do you, im just saying it doesn't hurt to ask.
[–]clhawks 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it looks like a wedding ring you will have zero approach from any decent guy. If someone thinks it is a wedding ring and they still inquire... well is that really someone you want to talk to? C'Mon
[–]RemoteGrowth 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spot on
[–]STylerMLmusic 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]schlickle_j 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow I needed to see this.. started hitting it off quite fast w this girl who dated one of my recent jj managers; any way we’re both pretty blunt n straight up with each other but she seems pretty emotionally fragile; and idk if I want a relationship now, tho I miss that but idk if this would be bad in terms only of like seeming needy a lot and if I have to chill her out every time she gets emotional and dramatic when she’s drunk.. lol nothing else besides the emotional needy from this list but that’s kinda the only downside I guess?? Wish me luck for weather happens to me lol
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know a girl for quite some time but she never really try to initiate a conversation and seeks attention most of the time.Is that girl worth giving a shot?
She'd bring it up in every conversation with expectations of me sucking Upto her.
I'd say this is a really good early warning.
[–]Sooth_inner_sadboi 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn. I wish I saw this 9 months ago.
These are more than just red flags- too obvious
[–]EliB95 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Number 2 done me over real good a few months back. Basically fell for a girl who had just "ended" things with her partner, turns out they never ended and I got thrown away as soon they got back together. Never again 🤔
[–]aishafett 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
fear intensifies
[–]adityasood99 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I would add one more point here. Especially for boys; avoid those femi-Nazi chicks who go on and on about this toxic masculinity.
[–]helpmylifeis_a_mess 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
and avoid the boys who go off about fem-nazis for the entirety of the date, even after you've tried to change the subject half a dozen times.
[–]tsunderemaster420 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
What about those people who don't split the bill on dates?
[–]pasteldreamzzz 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t necessarily see this as a red flag. My bf and I pay for each other 50/50 (one date he takes me out the next date I treat him). I would say only a red flag if the other person expects you to pay the majority or all the time.
[–]RelapsedSexAddict 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have mixed feeling about this... heres the thing. I’m American but I always grew up being taught to pay for my dates. When my date says she’ll pay, I insist once more but if she insists again...idk. I never know what to do because I know many times it is just a show and of course I’d pay and other times girls get genuinely upset that I didn’t let them pay.... it is really all over the place in the US and I hate it.
On the other hand, somewhere like Iceland or Russia, things are extremely cut and dry as to who pays. In Iceland, you wouldn’t ever be in a situation where you would pay for your date, while in Russia, men paying is just ingrained into the culture and is expected.
Here’s the thing. I don’t care one bit. I can pay or we can split, but just be very open and clear about it and I will too. No mind games here. If you want the guy to pay, let him pay and thank him. If you want to split, tell him genuinely that you prefer to split the bill. If you want to do a 50/50 split like you talked about, that is a great way of ensuring you get another date scheduled or something like that. Honestly, I’m fine with that. If a woman I’m dating takes initiative to plan a date and even pays for it, I’m gonna be flattered because that almost never happens to us.
My point is, I default operate on an assumption that I’m footing the bill when I’m on a date. If a woman knows how to genuinely communicate to me that she would like to pay or split, I don’t mind one bit. It just gets difficult when things aren’t clear. I eventually got used to not paying on dates when I spent some time in Iceland and Sweden and it was perfectly fine. In fact, it was when the girl you’re seeing there eventually let’s you pay when you know they really like you. I was also perfectly fine footing the bill when I spent several months in Budapest.
So to address the people who expect you to pay all the time... I think that is a concern if it isn’t a part of the culture. So in certain places, there is nothing red flag worthy just because a girl expects to be paid for. If somewhere like in the US, I would say expecting to be paid for all the time is a problem if that person isn’t reciprocating with planned & paid dates of their own. So just to be VERY CLEAR. While I did say I have no issue footing the bill every time in the US, if we are in a long term relationship, I would at least want some reciprocation with surprise dates, small gifts, and verbal thanks.
I don’t know... I just don’t think things are so cut and dry. I don’t usually attempt to pay for my dates because I have some kind of money ego complex... no.... I do it because I have courtesy and I was the one who usually asks out my dates. Therefore it is only courteous to offer to pay as I was the one who made the invitation. This is usually why the first couple dates I plan usually never involve an open bill at a restaurant or bar or something. It’s also made for some very creative and awesome dates.
[–]pasteldreamzzz 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see your point and I think it’s important to take into account the cultural context. I am also from the US and in my experience men are always expected to pay.
My bf and I never explicitly agreed to do it 50/50 I should have been more clear. However, we do long distance and generally when he comes to see me I try and plan everything out bills included because I don’t want him to have to worry and enjoy himself (and vice versa). However I will say when my friends have told me that they expect their bfs to pay for everything all the time, and that they will dump them if they don’t, I think that is a red flag.
To me relationships are all about effort and compromise. And from my experience (strictly American), when one party is expected to handle everything financially it is generally a red flag.
This is cultural, so it may or may not be a red flag.
The flag to search for in that, is if your partner offers to pay for part of bill when you offer to pay the whole thing. If they don't offer even once to pay/split/pitch-in, then its a small red flag.
[–]Shadowfury957 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to only pay the whole thing myself but now I only split the bill (at least on first dates)
[–]griftertm 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or those people who like to verbally abuse the waitstaff?
[–]tsunderemaster420 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a red flag for life. Don't even become friends with them
[–]JakeMullerRE 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dont mind that at all unless they are using you for free food and stuff. Many women and men too do it.
Generally though, I dont give a fuck about who pays the bill and whether or not its split.
I'm single and wear a ring because it looks nice
[–]canuckle1211 -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For the ring is black and on the right ring finger it is an indication of asexuality.
[–]shhshshsjsjjshshshs -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who cares if shes married. Fuck her anyways. Jewz
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