[deleted by user]

2021-01-30T14:27:51+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

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ChorbinDerd · 2021-01-30T02:09:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Report_Topside · 2021-01-30T01:58:22+00:00

Why stop responding? Are you trying to let her down gently ? Have you lost interest?

Method_Rude · 2021-01-30T01:41:59+00:00

That’s up too you. I wish I had somebody that cared enough about me to even send a text on my birthday

Brownsugargh · 2021-01-30T04:57:04+00:00

This is why dating sucks these days. If you text back quickly, it’s overwhelming. If you deliberately wait hours to text, you’re playing mind games.

Everyone sucks

Sex on the second date would’ve been ok but not consistent texting? Make it make sense.

WonkyNostril23 · 2021-01-30T02:55:25+00:00

Be transparent with her, tell her if you enjoyed your dates and if you like talking to her but also that you're not much of a txter so she understands better. Communication is the key!

Hexopi · 2021-01-30T03:01:57+00:00

Dude shes not interested in games. She sounds amazing.

no_fux_left_to_give · 2021-01-30T02:01:16+00:00

Could be she wants reassurance you still like her even after she didn't give it up on the last date. She texts back in a few minutes? Nbd, chill. Respond when you're ready. She texts you >8 times after that, wondering why you didn't text her back yet, gets mad, starts saying crazy shit? Nopenopenopenope

MoonPie365 · 2021-01-30T03:54:30+00:00

As a female, yes please tell her you’re busy and not much of a texter but when you get free time you will message her. Communication is so important

Shwaziland · 2021-01-30T01:59:17+00:00

Just tell her you're busy but would like to talk later

ethical_pa · 2021-01-30T03:16:26+00:00

It’s simple: she wants to see more of you. Make it happen or GTFO. She won’t keep chasing forever

scraynes · 2021-01-30T05:00:30+00:00

She's the one responding to you as soon as she sees it and you are purposefully waiting. Sounds like you are the one that is playing games. Clearly, you two are not on the same page.

ZealousidealTruth277 · 2021-01-30T03:39:54+00:00

As a girl, I am sometimes yappy. And if I had 2 good dates, I would probably text a lot. Lol. ☺️ And I’m not expecting a guy to reply back to all my texts bc I know he’s busy. I would just text bc I am in a good mood and want to say something to someone and if I just recently had a good connection with a guy, it probably would be him.

But also take in consideration if she has a lot of free time on her hands, if she is working, going to school or what. When I am stressed or I would be working on something, I would just text just to get my mind off of what I am doing especially if it was work, something stressful or whatever. So texting or replying quickly to a text was just a stress relief to get my mind off of what I was doing. Plus, ppl have their cell phones usually within hands reach so when you respond it would be no problem for her to text back. If she was doing something that needed her undivided attention (such as she was performing surgery on someone) and then texting you, then yah, I may be concerned. But if she isn’t doing much or is just trying to distract herself from her day, then I wouldn’t be too worried.

I have more free time on my hands so I am able to text whenever I want. But I understand that a guy may be more busier than me and not able to respond so quickly.

And sometimes, I am busy. For example, I have gotten into a habit if I am busy with something important, I will just respond real quick ‘I can’t talk right now’ But that is me. I feel obligated if I see a text to respond back as quick as possible and that could also be part of my personality: I’m a people pleaser and I’m a female.

Just be open with her... that’s the most important thing. Tell her, you like the texts but you can’t always respond right away. If her texts start to feel creepy, then also communicate that with her.

It’s all about communication. ☺️

Alert-Pin-8130 · 2021-01-30T03:17:36+00:00

tell her it's a bit overwhelming my man. ~~truuuust~~ me when I say you will regret giving even a little on your boundaries or what your comfortable with. just shoot her a quick text with a time your gonna call. talk to her for a second, and set up some logistics

MattRB02 · 2021-01-30T04:26:14+00:00

I’d suggest doing what I do. Reply back when you have time. If she’s replying back very soon, she’s probably interested, so it would be nice to reply back and have a conversation, but never feel forced to respond in a specific time frame.

Don’t play games, just do what you feel in the moment. I get how it can be overwhelming, but for many what you’re experiencing is a luxury.

If you’re interested in her, make sure to let her feel that you are, it’s horrible to be on that side of a developing relationship where you feel that the other person doesn’t have, or has lost, interest

KingWolf7070 · 2021-01-30T04:00:16+00:00

I don't want to play any mind games

TALK! Just fucking talk, you twit! Tell her what you think about this situation so you can both figure out how to adjust both your behaviors TOGETHER! Grr! This is so frustrating! The thing you are doing right now IS a mind game. Quit playing!

two5five1 · 2021-01-30T04:33:12+00:00

She did not want to on the second

Sounds like you initiated it, which is all well and good, and now she’s trying to make sure you’re actually interested in her for her and not the sex. If you enjoy talking to her just talk to her, no reason to play any games here.

wisewolfy · 2021-01-30T09:11:43+00:00

Think about it, perhaps you are not responding because she didn’t want sex on second date?? No matter what, if you’re not interested, let her know. If you’re not a “texter”, let her know. It’s playing games by waiting or possibly ghosting her. Why can’t people be real?

cassc94 · 2021-01-30T03:43:50+00:00

If you haven’t lost interest. But genuinely don’t want to talk. It would take 2-3 lines to mention both of those things. It can be done in a very charming way also... a good way to close the convo that you’d rather save for in person? “Sorry im not big on texting this week but I’d love to hear more about it on [date #3] ;)”

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-01-30T03:26:37+00:00

Remind yourself of all the times you had to beat your shit because no girl was hitting you up. Remind yourself of your fellows among us who have to do the same thing tonight. And suck it up and respond to her.

Jay_Babs · 2021-01-30T07:23:19+00:00

Imagine having someone who wants to text you

csgecko · 2021-01-30T08:03:42+00:00

Damn man, you poor thing.

legionofstorm · 2021-01-30T07:36:18+00:00

Well that's just hornest affection, she probably can't help herself and is way too excited about you. She might also be holding back on sex because it's not something she does so early on, some women need to build up trust first. She might be a bit clingy and overly excited but that probably means she can't hold back and wants an actual relationship.

pengpengpengy · 2021-01-30T07:43:22+00:00

If it’s too much sometimes, just tell her you’re too busy to text atm but you’ll ping her later. And don’t forget to do it. That is, assuming you want to continue dating her. She likes you. She doesn’t realize how it’s coming across

Woujo · 2021-01-30T03:28:32+00:00

Yeah its not your responsibility to be her text buddy. Be friendly and respond every once in a while so she doesn't feel ignored. Just set up another date.

Freerooted · 2021-01-30T03:36:08+00:00

If you're still into her just play it cool and take it slow..

She's either super excited and into you -- or a nut job.

ProCatMasseuse · 2021-01-30T03:23:56+00:00

Dont text her unless you want to talk to her. Dont respond just because you feel like you have to because that's where lame conversations come from and itll turn her off. The less you say the less likely you'll say something stupid that will fuck everything up. Really just plan to see her again and leave it at that.

supernaturalriver · 2021-01-30T03:15:03+00:00

Respond when you feel like it. If your interested, respond more often and vice versa. Your the fucking man, never second guess yourself.

Jacks-a-dull-boy · 2021-01-30T04:38:33+00:00

She likes you, talk to her. Don’t be afraid, think of it this way, women like confidence, women like a man that takes charge and if comfortable with himself. She’s into you, that stuff isn’t needed anymore. Don’t be afraid to talk, that’s the emotional connection now. That’s the point of this sub lol to get women and find a relationship. Good luck!!!

Oh_flambuoy · 2021-01-30T07:35:07+00:00

Okay here are my two cents pal,

the girl likes you, perhaps finds you interesting. Be natural when you reply to her, do not wait purposefully, at times reply quickly do your work when you gotta work and take time if needed or else the time she starts feeling ignored by you she will not put any effort.
Seems like she is overwhelmed as well in such cases be patient, give her some time to trust you. Once she starts trusting you she will throw herself in your arms & be there to catch her!
Do not break her heart she isn't looking for a nightstand or just sex. Cheers!!

RealBig0ne · 2021-01-30T08:16:26+00:00

She likes you, don’t play games

iammunukutla · 2021-01-30T03:55:59+00:00

Wow you guys are getting your texts blown up?

dreweydecimal · 2021-01-30T03:57:27+00:00

Just say hey sometimes it takes longer for me to text because sometimes I’m busy. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you, but as soon as I can I’ll get back to you.

levelologist · 2021-01-30T04:07:14+00:00

Yeah, now just go with how feel. Sounds like she's into you. The phone/message/wait game is way over rated. Now just enjoy it brother. :)

2021-01-30T04:22:38+00:00

Maybe she’ll leave you alone soon enough.

Peachpeach28 · 2021-01-30T05:50:54+00:00

as someone that’s been through this before i have to tell you don’t do the “I won’t respond for hours thing”,t’s a major mind fuck. Especially in this day and age when we all know that everyone’s always glued onto their phones, she’ll eventually catch on that you’re just ignoring her. Just tell her the truth, it won’t kill you and if anything she’ll probably appreciate you more for not giving her an unnecessary complex about texting someone who’s company she enjoyed. I don’t know when showing interest in someone became such a bad thing smh

Alpha-Charlie-Romeo · 2021-01-30T06:20:40+00:00

I usually respond to texts quite quickly too. Don't feel pressured to respond quickly back, just do whatever you want to do and I'm sure she will do the same.

maconmelikestevejobs · 2021-01-30T06:40:01+00:00

I’ve went to 3+ dates with a girl. We’re mutually interested in eachother but text hours at a time, which fucking sucks. She wants you. Respond when you can, she’ll appreciate it, and so will you.

benchomacha · 2021-01-30T07:07:58+00:00

Bro you are overthinking it. Reply whenever you can and take it easy. All the best!

fetishfairygodmother · 2021-01-30T09:38:40+00:00

I'm a girl - I understand both sides of the OPs issue. I have a job that requires a lot of client interaction that could mimic a new connection like... a love struck girl -

I feel you when you say texting can be overwhelming when you become the focus of someone's attn.

On the flip side I can honestly say as a girl when I'm interested in someone I wanna text, see them, spend time with them because I want to learn more about someone.

But there is another is another aspect to the texting, it creates attraction/lust in between dates for girls. When we get a text from a guy we are attracted to, it triggers feel good hormones and we want to keep it going.

But early on it's important to establish a communication pattern that fits your lifestyle. If you don't have time to chit chat all day, or all night, learn the art of flirt/maintenance texting a girl.

Say you are out with friends and you don't want to small talk with her all night... You can say something flirty, then tell her you are not able to text right now but then promise to call her tmrw. [Then follow thru] when you call her the next day make plans when you will see her next. [Keep the plans and call her next day]

TheDifferentDrummer · 2021-01-30T09:44:41+00:00

Yeah I mean she sounds like she doesn't want to play games and her quick response is a good thing. If you are feeling overwhelmed, set aside some time that you can text back and forth or even call and talk. If she texts when you can't talk let her know you'll get back to her when you can.

Tatsuhime · 2021-01-30T10:09:24+00:00

Be honest with her about the texting. Or it is playing games and eventually you kinda look like an ass hat leading the girl on if you're not that into her tell her so you can both move on.

2021-01-30T03:33:52+00:00

Just be upfront and say “hey I’m really excited to get to know you and I’m excited to see where things go with us, but since it’s still early on, I was wondering if we could do most of our getting to know each other in person rather than through text? I’m more of an in-person kinda person than a texting person”

letsgetrandy · 2021-01-30T05:02:29+00:00

Space out your replies. Leave her hanging. 50/50, she will either be fine with it, or else reveal herself to be a super-needy person who wants all of your attention.

DiskKiller2 · 2021-01-30T09:15:15+00:00

Slow down your part of the texting.

Let her hamster. You're a busy guy. Perhaps you're chatting up other, prettier girls? Working on that business venture? Out on a date with an iron bar and big weight plates?

Plus, if she's hot, she likely has a ton of orbiters constantly bombarding her with memes and messages. Don't join the herd.

Andinov · 2021-01-30T03:58:04+00:00

How do you feel?

If you're not keen or not sure, continue spacing then out.

If you're interested in her, mirror her response. If she leaves 45 mins between your text and her reply, then you leave 45 min. If she leaves 4hrs, then you leave 4hrs. If it's 1 min, text straight back

StandardGreekGod · 2021-01-30T04:26:38+00:00

Tell her you’re with your mother* and you’ll call her later

replaceable with anything that can keep your attention

That_Success028 · 2021-01-30T05:59:21+00:00

Respond when you can bro. If there is a delay in response, you can always shoot an apology for the delay and you’ve been busy. Sounds like she wants to keep the communication and friction going. You are doing a good thing by not playing games. Stay true to who you are. 👊🏻

Hope this helps

Coolvibes01 · 2021-01-30T06:01:24+00:00

I can almost guarantee if you reciprocate what she's done, she will be less interested in you. It's not that offensive to wait a few minutes or even a half hour to respond. Just respond at an easy pace, don't look at the clock.

brendaaro · 2021-01-30T07:00:03+00:00

"I'm sort of busy right now and I'll get back to you soon! I want you to know that seeing your message made my day. I hope you enjoy your day and I'll talk to you very soon"

"I'm not the best at texting, would you like to facetime later tonight?"

Honesty move forward with honesty

2021-01-30T08:37:18+00:00

If you don’t want to text then don’t, just because someone texted you doesn’t mean you have to respond.

BonjourReturn · 2021-01-30T10:30:35+00:00

Well do your stuff and answer when you want to set up a meeting. Think scarcity X).

Don't do it for too long though but why not rescheduling one next week and you go no contact until you do?

thesuccessfuladrian · 2021-01-30T10:43:59+00:00

Bro, respond to her when you take a break. Beside that, use your time wisely, invest it in yourself.

(I used to stay whole day on my phone texting and wasting time... Had no results. No I'm focused on my shit, i learn to start a business, I'm working out and i have little time to talk with girls online. From a small amount of DMs on IG i now have around 9/12 DMs everyday and I don't respond to 70% only after 12-16 hours past.)

WindowLife211 · 2021-01-30T11:33:52+00:00

She may have attachment issues.... who know's maybe she "loudly" & intrusively regretting not giving you the goods the 2nd time meeting. Or she angsty and motivated to make sure you don't forget her lol Why not arrange to meet up then take it from there

okletsg0 · 2021-01-30T14:14:52+00:00

She is time waster... 100% hands down. Huge red flag that she didn’t want sex after second date and also she get worried when you are answering later and that mean she is only having you for validation and nothing else. Get rid of these toxic woman like a plague.

hanniundnanni08 · 2021-01-30T11:18:32+00:00

TELL HER it usually takes you a while to respond but you are interested in her.

Her behaviour is not a red flag because all she is doing is responding to you once a message is received. This can be expected in a society where everyone is glued to their phone 24/7 and won’t even part from it to shit.

She might see your pattern of replying after hours and hours as a 1) red flag, 2) sign of disinterest, 3) YOU playing mind games or 4) knowing that you get busy.

chadmurphy269 · 2021-01-30T04:38:22+00:00

HIT IT

alphawave99 · 2021-01-30T05:31:33+00:00

She’s afraid you will not respect her if she hooks up with you too soon. She really likes you that’s why she’s holding out. My best guess is she’s ready to go next time you hang with her. Just don’t push too hard go easy.

andreecook · 2021-01-30T05:39:34+00:00

I can understand why you’re thinking that, it’s a little bit intense but you can still be interested at the same time some of these comments think just cause you’re not loving her instant texts means your playing games. Just put some distance inbetween your responses and know she will respond quickly. It doesn’t mean you’re playing games by doing that, take time to think about what you want to say even if that means taking a while, also it will make her wonder what you’re doing which adds to her intrigue in you and you not appearing desperate to her by responding straight away (that doesn’t mean she’s desperate because she replies quickly though) so just do it how you want, understand she will reply quickly you don’t need to, if that works then it works for you, if she gets angry you taking so long to respond then that’s maybe a red flag but if she doesn’t it can simply be put down to different texting styles, no biggie! good luck she sounds interested in you :)

madmax2072 · 2021-01-30T06:05:51+00:00

She doesn't want to lose you to another girl who will give it up....

JustaPrank · 2021-01-30T06:21:43+00:00

Just wondering, what is the girl blowing up your phone with? We could reverse that material for guys who don’t have much to say.

Anything she asks you is fair game to ask in the future.

Girls love to test us. I think when she said no she was just seeing how you would respond and not think “I am getting laid tonight she sounds like she is wet and ready to drop her panties”, but she doesn’t want you to think your the coolest cause then you will move on to another girl who

Affectionate-Net-344 · 2021-01-30T11:52:56+00:00

Say what ya mean and mean what ya say. Straight forward goes a long way. JS.

Vanilla_Chinchillaa · 2021-01-30T12:14:56+00:00

If you’re not feeling it just tell her. It’s best not to lead someone on.

thesophiechronicles · 2021-01-30T12:28:19+00:00

You sound like your at Fuckboy level one to be honest. She’s texting you straight back because she likes you, and she respects you. By waiting hours to text her back, you are playing games with her feelings. If I was giving her advice on how to approach this situation I’d tell her not to see you again.

Navman22 · 2021-01-30T12:28:30+00:00

Blowing up your texts isn’t the same as texting you back within a reasonable time because she wants to talk in real time and/or genuinely likes you. Don’t play games

Tricky_Top_6119 · 2021-01-30T12:30:52+00:00

At least you know she's not playing games.

alexdiezg · 2021-01-30T12:43:31+00:00

Just text her back asking her on another date.

thefirekite · 2021-01-30T12:57:58+00:00

My husband is a big texter. He always has his phone on him and just loves texting all the time. I hate texting. I’m bad at it (slow, lots of typos). When we were dating I wanted to get to know him, and texting IS a part of that process. But I couldn’t text him all throughout the day. So we set up times when we would text, like a little in the morning and then later in the evening would be when the majority of our texting was. I told him he could text me throughout the day, but I wouldn’t respond because of work and life, but I would happily read those texts later and respond in the evening. It obviously worked for us as we’re now happily married.

AvenueLane96 · 2021-01-30T12:59:49+00:00

Just end the conversation by appropriately responding to the previous text, and then being like "Right! I better go do X Y Z. Have a nice (input amount of time you need to pause i.e week, weekend). I'll message/call you to see how it went and maybe we can get together on X? Speak soon x"

so she knows you're coming back

jeneruda · 2021-01-30T14:06:10+00:00

Stop playing fuckin games you baboons if you like someone tell them, if that makes them feel awkward it's their problem. Next!

Stop following patterns and do what you fuckin want. For the love of god. What would happen if we all didn't have any crutches? Post @seduction "what should i do? Should i do this or that?"

Stop being so fuckin insecure and do what you want. If you get shitfucked you learn nd learn.

THAT WAS LIFE UP UNTIL SOME YEARS YOU DIGITAL JUNKIES

Mylifeis-hell · 2021-01-30T14:10:57+00:00

Lol, stop playing mind games man, that's old PUA shit that shouldn't be used anymore. Be genuine and answer whenever you have time to.

_These-are-beans_ · 2021-01-30T14:11:34+00:00

I'm on both sides. If I'm interested in someone, I'll communicate back n forth frequently. But if I'm not so sure about how much I like someone, then I feel overwhelmed by the constant communication. I'm also an introvert, which even if I explain this to people can be taken as offensive.

Rooster1981 · 2021-01-30T14:20:20+00:00

If you wanna see her again, text her back, no need to play games.

Novel_Transition_663 · 2021-01-30T10:26:35+00:00

Girls will often exhibit conflicting behaviour to try and you with you for their own amusement - actions speak louder than words, and if she’s not coming over to have sex when you’ve been out twice already and the implication of that happening after the date was clear, then she’s milking you for attention to try and make you feel like you’re “close to getting it”.

Which in itself is a pretty effective female tactic but beware of girls whose actions aren’t coherent with their words.

Also in regards to “she did not want to on the second” - there’s for sure a guy she’d fuck on the first or second date, a girls’ set of rules are subjective and changes with each guy, don’t be so naive.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	344
Comments	145
Date	January 30, 2021 1:40 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/l8akn0/girl_is_blowing_up_my_texts_after_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1509116 https://theredarchive.com/post/1509116

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