[FR] Getting Past "Let's Just be Friends"

ThirtyWize · 2020-01-22T00:28:34+00:00

Well played. There is often a lot of sentiment about ejecting as quick as possible if she doesn't get with your advances immediately, and I was in a debate about this recently. Your story is a good example of why it's much better to just go with the flow, and not to debate about what "titles" you are to each other.

If you're being honest, maybe the stress of the first date threw you off your game, and you weren't connecting as well as you thought. By your record, when you decided to let go of the outcome and just have a good time, your natural ability to have fun and flirt seemed to shine and take over.

BigDickEnergy123 · 2020-01-22T00:30:21+00:00

"I pretty quickly brought up the fact that I was seeing someone else when she asked what was new with me, which I know is a risky move.'

While I like the sentiment, this quote is literally exactly what got you in the door.

Women can't stand someone who shows non-neediness/other options and especially someone who's completely cool with the fact they're fine she's not interested. Plus, women are jealous as fuck.

Love-The-Process · 2020-01-22T04:14:17+00:00

Be careful with women like this. If she actually just wanted to fuck you because she was jealous then that shows some neediness that can cause headaches later on.

jacksh2t · 2020-01-22T04:55:55+00:00

big pp energy

Hubblenobbin · 2020-01-22T07:38:26+00:00

Most FRs get buried. This one didn't. Why? Because that's how many guys are trying to get themselves out of the friend-zone instead of learning game.

Nevertheless, well done friend, thanks for the FR.

SlimHotep · 2020-01-22T08:41:57+00:00

I respectfully disagree about waiting for signals to escalate. I feel that part of the reason she may have friendzoned you from the beginning is that you didnt neccesarily make any overt moves to present yourself as a possible romantic interest. Consider if three years from now she were to say "OP I had a crush on you back when her first met." Your response would be, "Well why didnt you say anything?" Of course you would want her to communicate interest so that you'd have a possibility of acting on it. Consider being direct without being explicit. If she's a hot chick off of tinder, she KNOWS that you did not initially match with her with the intent of being friends. Also, you can imagine the level of attention she most likely garners, so it's a great sign that's she open to meeting you. Propel yourself from a maybe to a yes my friend. Good luck.

TotalLiquidity · 2020-01-22T05:41:06+00:00

In a similar situation, how'd you go from the first date to actually becoming her friend? Did you text her casually a week later or did she text you?

Srobbo97 · 2020-01-22T04:44:06+00:00

Things you love to see

axe122 · 2020-01-22T13:49:48+00:00

I’m honestly surprised she invited you to hang with friends cuz 99% of the time let’s be friends means let’s not see eachother or talk to eachother again especially with a tinder date. She responded to the jealousy factor, you sparked a fear of loss in her so I don’t think that was risky at all. She was def really physically attracted to you helped too, I know this cuz hot girls have so many options on tinder they won’t go out with a guy they aren’t physically attracted to. So when you mentioned a new girl you struck a fear of loss chord. I think your biggest problem was on the first date you went the cliche typical date route and weren’t aggressively enough. I used to get to know them and ask a lot of questions and it was a waste of time honestly. I was waiting until one of them thought I was hot ,looked good on paper and picked me , basically I was getting lucky. I go in and ask 3 questions now what she does, where she’s from and what’s something she’s passionate about. That way she can reciprocate the questions cuz she’s China wanna be able to tell her girlfriends a little about you. I personally like to date the girls and continually see them and I still use this style. I went from getting 1/4 or 5 girls I took out and wanted to getting 99% of them and it’s cuz I learn about her over the course of several dates and just focus on having fun and seducing her from the Minuit I see her. I don’t wait for the whole interview portion with a few jokes in between to get to know her and then start sexually escalating cuz at that point half the time they’ve already put you in plutonic nice guy category.

I’m glad it worked out for you unfortunately for most guys it won’t work like this and a lot will never hear back from her even agreeing. To be friends and the other half will not get outa the friendzone. You were like the 1% of people who get outa the friendzone. If you didn’t make her jealous talking about seeing someone else she most likely wouldn’t have came around so it was def the right move not risky. Playing it safe is what doesn’t work and guys who don’t have a lot of options with hot girls are who play it safe. They like ballsier guys who do what they want and say what they want. Glad it worked out for you. Unless the style of dating your doing always works for you next time try being aggressive from the beginning of the date. Just tease her the whole date and kiss her within 20 min then kiss her 3/4 of the way (3-5second kiss) then when you take her to her car do a 20 seconder break go for another and invite her to your place. I sleep with most of the girls I date on the first date, even when they say I can’t for whatever reason I still get a second date.

Some have rules they follow where they make you wait 3 dates even if they don’t tell you but the point is she wanted to go home with you and fought her desires or honestly had work early as fuck or something. I’ve never lost a girl being more aggressive, I have lost a ton not being aggressive enough. This is more for girls who are on dates than ones you first meet. Especially if they met you on a dating app, she already likes you and you already built comfort with her through text just to get her out. Girls don’t go on dates with guys they aren’t interested in and want to sleep with.

red_heads_dead_69 · 2020-01-22T04:19:31+00:00

this is something so perfect you would only see it in a movie. standing ovation for you my friend👏🏼👏🏼

Fletch_311 · 2020-01-22T08:19:53+00:00

I’m not an expert but I think you can always look for positive reactions don’t smash them over the head with your game but you know what I mean. Anyways that’s awesome man you smashed through the friends zone to smash her ;) good job

sociopathicnihilist · 2020-01-22T09:14:13+00:00

Hey I m kinda in the same situation now. I am seeing this girl I know she is interested. Last week kissed I her she responded back and after I kissed her she started saying things like, "Am I bad person, I just met with another guy yesterday and stuff." I was unresponsive and played it cool. And now out of the blue she is saying it's not going to work and sex is totally of the table and stuff. Should I tell that I m seeing a new girl to make her chase me

DrixlRey · 2020-01-22T09:57:12+00:00

These moves were smooth bro

tr4guy · 2020-01-22T12:55:31+00:00

Does this work to also restore attraction with a woman that has lost attraction when you for example show up with a hotter one at an event? Or does this kill interest? She is in a relationship and chose me over another guy, also into the borderline spectrum.

Keepareyou · 2020-01-22T14:05:42+00:00

Good Game!

lItsAutomaticl · 2020-01-22T15:01:41+00:00

There's nothing wrong with being friends; though if you're hung up over her it's better not to.

821sleepingbag · 2020-01-22T16:27:04+00:00

My man that is a COMEBACK

GeeOKeem · 2020-01-22T17:21:02+00:00

Same thing happened with ne! Although i havent gotten nearly as far as you have in such a short time. I was friendzoned, said thats fine and treated her like a friend only flirting time to time while talking to orher girls and all of a sudden she showed interest in me. So i went for it and asked her out again and she said she was totally down.

ToastedSoup · 2020-01-22T19:58:50+00:00

I pretty quickly brought up the fact that I was seeing someone else when she asked what was new with me, which I know is a risky move.

That's almost exactly how I got my current girlfriend. She "just wanted to be friends" so I chilled and went on a few other dates with different girls. When she asked what I had been doing lately, I said I had just gotten back from a date and I thought it went well (even got an invite to a college birthday party later that week). She almost immediately started asking about the date and if I thought it could be serious.

She asked me out the next day and the girl I went on the date with ended up ghosting me.

Fitzy564 · 2020-01-22T17:32:30+00:00

You don't lmao.

brokenheart39 · 2020-01-22T18:00:20+00:00

This is opposite to all relationship coaches advice say out there, they always say move on and cut the connection. I believe like u ,we can enjoy the friendship sometimes will be hard but i believe most girls will have feelings if u come closer to her by time.

Nicklovinn · 2020-01-22T19:07:00+00:00

sometimes they just want to be friends man

Deez05 · 2020-01-22T20:18:57+00:00

It almost seems like let’s be friends was just a test to see how you’d react

Woujo · 2020-01-23T04:10:10+00:00

> After a few days of chatting we met for dinner and had a pretty standard date.

This is your problem. Why chat for a few days? Set up a date and go for it.

> I wasn't getting any immediate signals, though, so I did not escalate.

You don't need an invitation. You escalate FIRST.

advant525 · 2020-01-22T09:45:45+00:00

I wish this post existed earlier last year when I was dating this really hot girl and she was throwing me all these signs... Altho we were in a relationship, I could've used some of these reminders to sustain it...

claw1919 · 2020-01-22T20:53:25+00:00

I will never understand why people even bother pursuing a woman? i mean come on, i find that extremely cringy. In your case in particular is okay, because she liked your company as well as you liked hers, but in other situatuions, dont pursue.

Title	[FR] Getting Past "Let's Just be Friends"
Author	doctormanhattan
Upvotes	613
Comments	90
Date	January 21, 2020 11:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/es35j6/fr_getting_past_lets_just_be_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-getting-past-lets-just-be-friends.1428427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428427

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