Getting over the fact that she found someone better than you. Advice?

Necessary-Jaguar4775 · 2025-01-09T15:41:57+00:00

Take the advice from here that worked for me - don't take online dating too sseiously and don't get too invested over a match. It means nothing. Girls are inundated with likes and attention and so many of them either go on there because they are bored or just want attention. Treat online dating as a way to meet new people but don't take anything that happens on there seriously until you actually know the person well. Everything before that stage is just fluff.

321sleep · 2025-01-09T15:28:36+00:00

How do you know he’s “better than you”?

minareli · 2025-01-09T15:39:12+00:00

Yeah it hurts at first. It'll get better.
It was her choice, not yours therefore her loss.

Get back out there. Don't be feeling sorry!

Dwerg1 · 2025-01-09T15:44:48+00:00

It's enough that she's not interested in you for whatever reason, you don't have to put yourself down as well. You spinning a fantasy in your mind about how shitty you are does NOT help.

csgecko · 2025-01-09T15:53:44+00:00

Posting here about a random girl on hinge is massive scarcity mindset

Kukantiz · 2025-01-09T16:02:25+00:00

What purpose does it serve to give energy to this? You can be the tastiest peach and some people don't like peaches. It's a loss for them not me when they don't decide to choose me. I end up attracting what's right for me.

My best advice for you is to work on your confidence so you aren't questioning your inadequacies.

DaygameCode · 2025-01-09T16:04:39+00:00

Not every girl you like has to like you back, and not every girl you like is a girl that’s good for you even if she likes you back.

Not every guy she ends up choosing is gonna be better than you, and in fact, just because you are better doesn’t mean she is gonna be attracted to you because attraction is about the emotions and compatibility, she feels not the superior traits you may have when she doesn’t connect with you or find you compatible at all with the way she sees things and her values.

Dating isn’t about being good enough or better than other guys. It’s about connecting, resonating and being in the same vibe as the other person. Women are not tools to make you feel that you are worthy or unworthy.

If there is no shared values, if she doesn’t feel the chemistry, the spark, the emotional resonance, she won’t be drawn to you even if you have more accomplishments, superior traits, or genes. Because attraction is rooted in how you make her feel, how she experiences your energy, your presence, and the connection you create together.

Dating isn’t a merit-based system where the “best” person wins. It’s not about proving you’re good enough or better than the next guy. It’s about aligning with someone who resonates with your vibe, who shares your values, and who feels connected to you on a deeper level. The right connection isn’t something you can force or achieve through external validation; it happens organically when two people are in sync emotionally and energetically.

When you shift your mindset from trying to be “good enough” to focusing on genuine connection, you’ll not only find healthier relationships but also a deeper sense of confidence and self-worth that isn’t tied to anyone else.

Smart_Inspector3705 · 2025-01-09T15:41:24+00:00

make sure you improve yourself continously

jwaters0122 · 2025-01-09T15:49:11+00:00

Move on, use it as motivation & build yourself up.

once you build yourself up & others start noticing, that girl who chose the other guy will be in the back of your mind or even forgotten.

refreshingface · 2025-01-09T15:58:34+00:00

this is a symptom of a scarcity mindset

vladiVP · 2025-01-09T15:58:39+00:00

U didnt even met her and u all sad smh🤣

cmHend · 2025-01-09T16:40:36+00:00

you’re sooo outcome oriented that you evaluate your value based on a random chick on an online dating app

this is the real lesson here. If you want it to work learn to become outcome independent and be aware of the value you bring on the table, if she doesn’t appreciate it her loss.

ZennedGame · 2025-01-09T18:38:01+00:00

So you just decided that without hearing/witnessing it?

Yeah, I can't feel bad for you. It's a product of your own creation.

SmoothOperatorBaby · 2025-01-09T15:59:20+00:00

What’s scarcity mindset?

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-01-09T16:04:13+00:00

People who get into game really sometimes forget that sometimes people just connect really well. Just because she picked somebody else doesn’t mean he’s better and you’re worse. Sometimes he’s just the right fit.

I do jiu jitsu. I’m passionate about it. I’m a black belt, been training for 18 years, sometimes train 3x a day. If I met a 6-7 who shares that same passion, I’d choose her any day over a 9-10 who doesn’t.

DreamShort3109 · 2025-01-09T16:17:21+00:00

I had this happen once. It takes time.

therealwoujo · 2025-01-09T16:27:22+00:00

Dude you are out of your mind. You are way too emotionally invested in a woman you never even met yet. You have no idea why she rejected you and you are just making up scenarios in your own head to make yourself feel like shit.

Let's assume for the sake of argument she found somebody better than you. So what? Just go find somebody else. You don't have to date every woman in the world. All you can do is just improve yourself so it doesn't happen again.

shathecomedian · 2025-01-10T10:06:21+00:00

I find online dating is more trouble than it's worth, yes it gives you "access" to women from your couch but it's too many steps even just to meet as opposed to going out. So my advice would be to not let it affect your mental and self esteem. Get off the dating sites as a whole if you can

Sword_and_Shot · 2025-01-11T18:36:39+00:00

My ex gf canceled a date with me to date an anorexic bald 25 yo guy before we met.

That guy was completely stupid and was an asshole with her.

They stopped dating 1 ½ months later and she started messaging me again. Turns out I was the longest and healthiest relationship she ever had (and the best looking guy she ever had, at least according to her family and friends). I broke with her because at some point she turned too needy and was sufocating me and my plans for the future.

moral of the story: women don't know how to choose guys, they are honestly pretty dumb in that regard. They can confidently choose the uglier and more asshole of her options (usually cuz they lie well).

U would be amazed to know how often girls fight with their friends because they cannot choose a decent guy despite all of her friends advices...

Her choices are more about her than about you

offbeat_glass · 2025-01-11T20:04:10+00:00

Little brother, operating this way is going to kill your self esteem. Don’t look so far into it. It’s in the past, leave it there.

InternationalSwan162 · 2025-01-12T06:03:28+00:00

You need to get way detached from dating apps before they work for you. You’re thinking too much about a meaningless interaction.

Onzalimey · 2025-01-12T22:47:33+00:00

When someone stops responding you really don’t know why. You can guess but you can’t read minds. Can beats of diff reasons. Also just use it as motivation to better yourself

Title	Getting over the fact that she found someone better than you. Advice?
Author	SmoothOperatorBaby
Upvotes	0
Comments	29
Date	January 9, 2025 3:14 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hxey48/getting_over_the_fact_that_she_found_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-over-the-fact-that-she-found-someone.1540742 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540742

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