Got attached then got refused.

mahalerin · 2022-06-24T21:09:43+00:00

She wasn't the one for you and that's okay. Confessing your feelings, although incredibly scary at the moment, is a good thing. Best to know that she wasn't going to be all in with you now, then months or years down the line. Now that's a recipe for true heartbreak.

I always try to remind myself that rejection is just redirection. It doesn't make you stupid. It makes you human. There are so many beautiful experiences and people out there waiting for you. Best of luck.

Initial-Laugh1442 · 2022-06-24T19:51:25+00:00

What have you learnt about confessing your feelings?

buckphifty150150 · 2022-06-24T19:36:54+00:00

Soo which did you want? A relationship or a friendship? Couldn’t have both.. I mean I think you did the right thing and said how you feel.. I rather a girl reject me than me going along thinking I have a shot the entire time

notarealpersondw · 2022-06-24T22:39:02+00:00

This probably happened because you were delusional from the jump.

My friend does the same shit he hangs around a girl (stripper) who uses him doesn’t respect him even fucks w other guys and he does the whole new age “yo I’m so cool with that I’m not a jealous boyfriend man!” Then hangs out with her thinking that confessing his love means she’ll fucken Disney and turn around and fall in love with him.

She didn’t like him from the get go, hanging out with him just confirmed how boring and lame he was even more, and she was only friends because he was nice to her (with ulterior motives) while also it being so awkward she wanted to stay friends to keep him off her.

You need to spend all your time with the gym and your own goals homie.

AngeloMacon · 2022-06-25T02:36:29+00:00

First, it's happened to all of us. Second, now that you fucked up, don't do it again.

Make a move a long time before you ever start having feelings. Getting over rejection from some girl you met a couple times take days to get over.

Also, never tell a girl you have feelings or love her unless she's your girlfriend or at the very least, you're sleeping with her.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-06-25T01:02:03+00:00

Welcome to growing up. This is an experience every single guy will have. You’ll survive it, and yes it sucks.

cangero0 · 2022-06-24T21:14:01+00:00

I don't agree with people who say confessing is bad. If she doesn't want a genuine connection with you, so be it, you will find someone who do. For now, accept your feelings and sit with them, take some time to heal

epilamun · 2022-06-24T19:35:41+00:00

Fair enough mate, it happens to the best of us. Just gotta accept this reality, you won't and shouldn't try to win her back. Work on yourself, accept you're a high value human who deserves better and find yourself someone who likes you for you.

Mak0wski · 2022-06-24T22:57:15+00:00

Never get too comfortable and think you made it.. I dated this girl for 6 months, we were practically a couple but just not official(for some reason I wanted the perfect setting to ask her to be my gf, like date and dinner thing) we got some infection that itches a lot and is highly infectious, so we stayed apart only seeing each other 1-2 times every 2 weeks when we thought we were cured, turns out she was cured and I was not. that distance is what killed us even tho we were 15 minutes away from each other. There were obvious strong feelings between us but after 2-3 months unable to see each other properly, that interest just faded out for her apparently because she got interested in someone else (close friend) while I was quarantining myself to not spread that shit around to her and her friend group (which I liked a lot) when she was cured

So basically never think she is already your gf, just continue to take her out on dates and show your interest in her

Also I'm 100% sure she would be my gf right now had it not been for that disease/rash

incognito3107 · 2022-06-25T10:30:35+00:00

Apparently she was just not seeing you the way you see her. There is really no need to clarify your feelings, it is pretty obvious just from the nature of your relation:

- no touch, no attention - she doesn't like you

- no touch, some attention - you are more of a friend to her

- some touch, some attention - yet unclear

- big touch, some attention - most likely FWB or short relation

- big touch, big attention - she is yours (for now)

tomatosauce23 · 2022-06-24T21:35:38+00:00

As a guy you should never confess your feelings to a girl no matter how much you like her. Especially in today's dating market in my opinion. Should've waited for her to become interested in you first. Always want the ball in your court

grindforthegold · 2022-06-24T20:46:46+00:00

Yo it happens bro. but don’t push it now just work on yourself. you don’t have to confess feelings, if you’re with her and the back of your hands graze for example and the girl is close to you and not moving away just hold her hand. the only time a girl will hold your hand is if they like you. that’s all you need tbh

DeliberatelyInsane · 2022-06-24T22:26:56+00:00

You were solved.

Remarkable_Rough_89 · 2022-06-25T02:08:57+00:00

Take a hint, wait for one month and move on, see what’s going on

Dizzy-Job-2322 · 2022-06-25T19:16:31+00:00

Just live and learn. Don't beat yourself up over it. Reflect, make adjustments, and try again. You might need to grieve for that loss though. Lookup the grieving process. If you don't use it now, you will need it at some point in life.

Lastly, find yourself a confidant. A practical, down-to-earth person, out of your normal social network. Maybe an older woman who is fond of you, but not in a sexual way. Someone, you can trust and express yourself when you get stuck on a problem in your head. A person who can just tell you things unfiltered. Like, "come on, get off your butt and get back out there. You're better than that."

You're going to do fine. Self-awareness is the most difficult part, and you've got that!

Good Luck, don't give up.

ftdrain · 2022-06-24T22:43:25+00:00

Ive ruined a couple fwbs by confessing, you gotta let them chase, if you confess before her, then she will perceive herself to be of higher value and lose interest, especially girls high on the hot scale, if shes avg or normie and you are clearly above her, its fine to confess, shit is retarded like that

great_account · 2022-06-24T22:14:04+00:00

Confessing your feelings is a chumps game. Any real man knows that his intentions are communicated through his actions. You don't have to reveal your feelings, she'll already know.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-06-24T20:45:39+00:00

We’ll get ready to handle it better because this will happen very often. a you are young and think it’s the end of the world but eventually you will just treat it like another day at the office and you will not take it so personal, and won’t let it affect you so much.

Also, one thing you need to learn is that you should never confess your feelings if you want to have a girlfriend. That’s not how you do it.

First you need to hit on the girls, and sleep with them without feelings involved and then after you have been sleeping with the girl for a while, the girl will be the one asking you to make this thing you have official and with labels.

You don’t confess feelings ever specially if you two haven’t even kissed and been sleeping together first.

SadBox4529 · 2022-06-25T00:15:15+00:00

Imagine the roles were reversed, she would run to Tik Tok crying

Sup3rHD · 2022-06-25T09:22:45+00:00

Never say to a girl that you like her. If she did not say that she likes you.

dark_helmt8 · 2022-06-24T21:42:40+00:00

Confess feelings when you want to get engaged. Otherwise, why?

natron07 · 2022-06-24T22:36:35+00:00

Anyone knows about the psychology of the girl behind this? Pop knowledge that girls are not good at handling ‘confession’ from men at least early on in the relationship. Wonder what make them they wanna run away from men’s vulnerability

Rogue1371 · 2022-06-24T22:37:24+00:00

Have to agree with other commentors here. When 1st developing that connection try to restrain your expression of attraction so that one does not appear desperate.

That being said, expressions like " I really had a great time with you tonight", or "I'm I'm really digging hanging with you", "cant wait to see you again", etc should be good.

They show that you are interested in her and desire her. Which is what you want to be known at that early stage.

Salger12 · 2022-06-25T07:15:51+00:00

Just went through this for the first time! Slightly different circumstances, but it went from "let's have fun" to "lose my number".

verticalstars · 2022-06-25T11:17:58+00:00

You put her on a pedestal and treated her like a celebrity.. and now she treats you like a fan.

Title	Got attached then got refused.
Author	AhmedBVB
Upvotes	33
Comments	40
Date	June 24, 2022 7:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vjwgk9/got_attached_then_got_refused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-attached-then-got-refused.1256201 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256201

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