How does "persistence game" work?

Red_Zepperin · 2017-01-13T19:52:45+00:00

Sex and seduction is not mathematic. There are general, not absolute rules. Some people do overcome the friendzone, some women don't like being ignored, etc.
Nexting a girl is about your own personal dignity, and not wasting time and emotional energy when there are other options.
This is the girl's retrospective account, and you don't know how true that dynamic is. If a guy keeps asking a girl out, how much of an investment is it for him? Takes two seconds. Yet the girl can play it off as a princess fantasy by saying "oh how romantic he kept pursuing me" when the reality is maybe she just ran out of options, or he caught her in a weak moment.

TheBetterManZA · 2017-01-13T21:37:59+00:00

Persistence game can work. It's how I got with my ex. But, I don't recommend it. Here's the story of why...

Went to a friends birthday. I knew my ex at this point (as acquaintances), but I thought she was way outta my league. She sat across from me, and by the end of the evening I had three people find me at separate times and tell me she was into me (just in case I hadn't noticed at this point). End of the evening she tells me we should hang out sometime. Cool, I just need to ask her out and that's that right?

Nope. Basically for three weeks, I invited her to stuff I was doing and she would always make some last minute excuse to bail. After my third attempt, I went "whatever" and basically went about my business.

Ended up at a BBQ at her place a couple of weeks later. Talked with her, talked with other people, and just generally chilled and had fun. Then people want to go inside and watch a movie. I like standing by the fire so I tell people I'll be in shortly.

Guess who decides to join me?

We end up talking alone. The connection is the strongest I've ever felt with a woman. We talking about relationships and how they're risky coz you might get hurt, and I just look her dead in the eye and ask her "How about taking a chance on me?"

She finally said yes. Yay! I got with the beautiful/smart/talented girl! This is amazing!

Turns out, not so much. Girl had shit experience with guys which bled into my relationship with her, and while the relationship was fine for the first three months or so, I dumped her a couple of months after the "honeymoon" period (I'm not putting her down btw, she went through some very messed up shit and if she works that stuff out I would take her back in a heartbeat).

Why tell you all this whole story? Coz if a girl isn't willing to meet you half way the first time you ask her out is either:

a) Playing games

b) Has issues which is causing her to hesitate over meeting you for a date, which she might eventually put aside if you persist

You don't want to get involved with a women with either of these things.

smoochie100 · 2017-01-13T23:11:12+00:00

You do not hear the stories of persistent guys that failed. Survivor bias.

PDX_PUA · 2017-01-13T19:53:45+00:00

1.) 3 stories is an extremely small sample size.

2.) People lie, especially about relationships. Women dont want to seem easy, so they will say shit like she made him wait, or that he was so enamored by her he couldn't help himself. More than likely those are closer to the truth than anything.

3.) Persistence can pay off, but in the right way. I met one of my ex's through friends and thought she was HOT. I asked her out a couple times, never said yes. We matched on Tinder, but never went out again. It wasnt until a meet and greet with mutual friends, a club, me in a suit (looking good!) AND me giving her a strip tease before she saw my value. We hooked up for 3 days straight. We dated for about 6 months until she hopped on the crazy train to Bitchtown, USA. Persistence works, but not when they are your only focus.

I personally dont like playing the Persistence game, but you can give it a shot. Basically, ask a girl out, if it doesn't work, don't fret, be paitent, maybe that opportunity will happen again and you can go for it. Just dont push.

DaygameCoach · 2017-01-13T20:46:33+00:00

It's a super low percentage, and those odds aren't worth a year of your life. Plus, maybe their situation changed and that may never happen.

Remember in He's just not that into you, when they talk about "exceptions" and that the exception is always someone else?

The one example I know of where it worked was he'd hit on her at salsa dancing (he kept the attraction up) but she wasn't single for a year. A year later her situation had changed...and he HAD been keeping the attraction up and was NOT HER FRIEND so was not in friend zone. Also, he wasn't wasting a year on her, he just hot on her when he happened to see her. Didn't even have her #.

But, generally, don't waste your time on a woman who is not interested. You could get many women in the time you watse on a "maybe" or a "no." Say no to oneitis or being desperate.

Cuisine Daygamer.net

jsbach123 · 2017-01-14T00:20:34+00:00

90% of game is your self esteem. If you keep getting shot down by the same girl and there's no other girl in the picture, it's gonna affect your self esteem which further impacts your game with other girls.

That's why I'd reconsider the idea of "persistence game", which sounds to me as "pathetic loser borderline stalker" game. A guy who doesn't get the hint will never be seen as a sexually attractive person.

If you keep chasing, the odds are super low she's finally relent...and if she does, it'd likely only be for a pity date. On the other hand, if you ask a few times and move on, there's greater chance she'd come around when she realizes you're not some low value needy guy without options. I'm not saying it's likely she'd come around, but certainly more likely than if you use "persistence game".

ghlibisk · 2017-01-14T03:56:58+00:00

I've had a sales job for the past 6 months, and I'm learning that there is almost 100% crossover between those skills and "game".

Regarding persistence, your attempts to reach out can't be smothering (too often), and you can't make it weird (message is too strange/overt/etc). However, if you are coming to the table with a positive value proposition from their point of view, eventually they are going to accept. No does not mean "no", it means "not right now". There are literally infinite valid reasons why you get shot down, many of which are transient and will not be the case at a later date.

That said, the most important part of this is that YOU MUST BRING VALUE from her perspective. Otherwise, its all for naught.

timacles · 2017-01-13T20:41:56+00:00

Personally I've had it work and not work. And really comes down to how much value you have in the girls eyes. Being persistent from a low value place will plummet your value down to 'this guy is a fucking creep'. OTOH if you have high value the girl might just be unavailable, or unsure about your intentions and actually glad that you kept trying until she was ready to go out. It works much better on people you met through social circles where she could have negative repercussions for blowing you off, esp if you're a cool guy. Where as if you're strangers and you're 'persistent' it just makes you look needy.

All this is assuming you're actually gaming her here and there and not being a chode like /r/niceguys

secretmonkeyassassin · 2017-01-14T01:10:45+00:00

Those are the exceptions, not the rule

well_deserved_karma · 2017-01-14T04:56:42+00:00

Everyone here knows seduction is a social process. It's about playing roles. But here's a thought: Do you really want to play those roles?

Everyone here also knows that people like to fuck, women included, yet it is 'common knowledge' that women have to be won over. I think it's also 'common knowledge' that women tend to be a little more fluid in their sexuality--it'll be apparent why I mention this in a second and why it's related to my overall point of 'maybe I don't want to play the game' when it's clearly a game.

Here's where this is coming from--and admittedly few guys have this experience. I got married young. As in, I'm 25 and I just divorced. Yeah. See, I thought it was the picture of a perfect seduction. I demonstrated 'value' by having a minor leadership position in a sort of cause I had in common with her. I meticulously planned the perfect first date including breaking the touch barrier from the moment I picked her up by 'practicing' a dance move I had just learned. And later that night, I used a technique I learned from Roosh (a gross dude) 'can I use your bathroom?'. Blowjob first night. An 18 year old virgin babe.

But how the relationship ended forever altered how I see social relationships in terms of games we play, including the unpleasant dawning awareness of the possible role of coercion.

Because right after we split up she identified as a lesbian with the implication that she had always been like that. Despite the regular sex, moaning and all, and regular deepthroat-and-swallow blowjobs. I still don't quite believe she was always lesbian, but I can believe she wasn't as into it as she pretended.

And now I have to wonder for any other woman I meet. Is she really into me? Or is she playin' dem social games?

Here's my point: If she doesn't want to get to know you in a dating or even just hookup context initially, she's not into you. And if you do finally conquer that shit after countless attempts, what makes you think her moans are real and she's really feeling it? To the extent that women really enjoy sex just as we do, she should really want it.... just like you do.

Just the two cents of a dating failure with an unusual perspective.

BestSC86 · 2017-01-14T17:17:10+00:00

You will find that a lot of these reddits are populated by emotionally insecure guys posing as alpha sexlords....much of their bravado comes from the reality that despite their outward confidence and posing it is all a fragile shell which is that they are deathly afraid of being rejected by girls as well as protecting their egos with the determination of a virgin protecting her V.

So the slightest whiff of rejection in any manner leads these boys to eject to look for the next girl until that girl shows a possibility of rejection, rinse and repeat.

So take with a grain of salt the constant whining to NEXT every girl at the earliest moment...

Look as Manson says there are any number of reasons why a girl might not be interested today but 6 months from now she might be obsessed with you. Funny in that two separate close friends\GFs actually met each other 4 times in different ways before the time that they met, noticed each other, got interested and ended up dating\married.

They constantly recount how they remember seeing the girl or boy\being introduced to girl or boy but didn't like or weren't attracted then it changed when the time was right.

You have to learn to read the girl, be chill and avoid becoming her girlfriend. There is a major difference in being a reoccurring sexual option that comes in and out of her reality vs being one of her girlfriends with a penis.

jimmyelgent · 2017-01-13T23:20:19+00:00

Interesting question.

I have a few real life examples.

The first one is a bit unsavoury I guess, but someone I knew really 'wore down' a much younger girl to the point where she just 'gave in' and let him have his way with her. Maybe over the course of a few months? In the end it seems like it was more that she was scared/confused of what he could do to her in terms of her social value if she kept turning him down since he was older and more popular, although she wasn't 'into' him at all.

Another guy I know manages to do this over the shorter term. His method (since i've seen him do it LOTS of times) seems to be all about comfort. He'll approach girls and just build and build comfort like a gay best friend! Doesn't seem to flirt or show intentions and they don't flirt with him at all either, but then at some point, he'll make a move and they'll softly reject him. I don't know exactly how he plays it from here, but typically, he'll have them in bed fairly soon. Maybe that night if they're drunk enough, seemingly through shere persistence. More often than not though, it'll be a few nights later when he manages to worm his way into the girls social circle which seems to be his thing.

It's kind of strange. He seems to have a niche skill. It's almost as if the girls feel guilty! I don't know. He's the only person I know who can do it.

sidenote: This guy has the best hit rate i've ever seen in terms of punching above his weight. He's not much of a 'catch' to look at or otherwise, but some of the girls he's pulled are stunning

second sidenote: These girls are typically Foreign girls. Probably 80% of the time.

And yes, I suppose like you, i've also heard of girls I used to work with and stuff say things like ''He just wouldn't give up! Eventuall he wore me down haha!'' kind of thing.

GradientsandIdeals · 2017-01-14T01:28:27+00:00

Persistence is a great thing, just make sure that you aren't emotionally tied to the outcome. You have to make sure that she sees that you genuinely don't care about whether or not she says yes. After that is established, you can persist for as long as you want.

rvhack · 2017-01-14T01:47:24+00:00

It worked for me but I didn't get what I wanted and it created a bad imbalance in the relationship.

ThrowawayPUA · 2017-01-14T03:50:10+00:00

There used to be a pickup system based on persistence, called "make the ho say no." That system is totally discredited.

If a woman says she's going out with a guy because he was persistent, that is a lie. She's going out with him for some other reason. That explanation is a rationalized justification for an emotional response she can't explain or justify.

Before a woman sleeps with you, she is thinking of reasons why she shouldn't sleep with you. After she sleeps with you, she is thinking of reasons why sleeping with you was a good idea. "He was so persistent" is one of those after-the-fact rationalizations.

weedmylips1 · 2017-01-14T05:26:24+00:00

I give the girl 2 chances. Ask her out and she says she can't, well ok, maybe she has other plans.

Ask again and if she says she can't and doesn't suggest another time, then that's it.

"Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?"

fuck yes, or no

UziNidalee · 2017-01-14T14:05:03+00:00

"Nexting" is all about valuing your own fucking time my friend. Maybe you'll get a girl who will finally say yes after 6 months but strong attraction will never be there. Imagine how many girls you could fuck who actually show interest in you, if you just nexted the ones who are not interested.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-01-14T20:09:00+00:00

These are 3 real stories I've heard girls say. How can this work?

I've seen those stories too. I was even that guy before. The thing is there are some problems with this approach.

You sacrifice your dignity in the bargain.
You lay down a foundation where the girl doesn't do anything and the guy does everything. In a fling this is okay because they're supposed to end. But in a relationship, it means it will fail every time. .

savior100 · 2017-01-13T20:13:07+00:00

Probably comfort. The first time meeting the guy and girl meets, the girl is unsure about him. She's thinking he might be a serial killer or something. But as time goes on she gets to know his true self more and is more comfortable with him. When she is finally comfortable with him and finds out the dude is pretty cool, she'll say yes to a date despite saying no the first time.

t1mman · 2017-01-13T19:48:37+00:00

Scarcity mindset!

I’d rather go for a girl that will do her part in the process, that has an interest in me.

BillNyeDeGrasseTyson · 2017-01-14T00:18:56+00:00

The "persistence game" sounds fucking awful. If I've made my intentions clear and there's no reciprocity, I move on. If we're friends we can stay friends, that's all.

If she was playing hard to get she'll likely make that known, but I'm not going to waste my time playing a game in which I've already shown my hand and she holds the deck.

Value yourself and your time I say.

WhatIWannaSay · 2017-01-14T05:48:49+00:00

I agree with much of what's being said here about persistence game... that it's largely a chump's pursuit. I also agree that the only women worth your time are those who put in equal (or nearly equal) effort to pursue you back.

That being said... I am curious, this is a question for everyone here: how many times have you had a girl you're actually attracted to put in an equal or nearly equal effort without inexplicably flaking? Also, what percentage of the girls you've pursued have put forth such effort?

mcr00sterdota · 2017-01-14T06:57:45+00:00

Persistence game sounds desperate af.

bugxter · 2017-01-15T02:54:45+00:00

Why waste your time, there are girls that know what they want and won't make you go through that bullshit.

ozzagahwihung · 2017-01-14T02:08:19+00:00

Vegetarian when she's adjust attracted to him from the start, but it's bad timing or isn't practical for her to hook up with him for a while.

wyvernwy · 2017-01-14T02:43:59+00:00

Women lie, especially about relationships. You cannot believe them. The way the "persistence game" works is if some girl thinks you were "persistent" while you had approaches in rotation during the ten other women you would have been with in the meantime.

Title	How does "persistence game" work?
Author	silver_light
Upvotes	78
Comments	30
Date	January 13, 2017 7:34 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5nsq9c/how_does_persistence_game_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-persistence-game-work.1418543 https://theredarchive.com/post/1418543

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