Do your conversations always quickly fizzle out and go nowhere? Do you feel invisible and that people barely even register that you are in a room? Well here is how you can be more interesting.

Let's first start with the things that you should not do if you want a person to remain interested in talking to you.

Don’t be negative.

Don’t try to impress.

Don’t judge or criticize other people.

Don’t be desperate for attention.

Don’t initially just jump into interview mode, and start asking the same standard questions a person always asks. A lot of people do not like their jobs. And when they are out in a public place trying to have fun and forget their work lives, having to explain the often boring and unfulfilling things that they do to you is not enjoyable to them. Furthermore, pretending to be interested on your part just leads to incongruent, unauthentic, try hard, placating, forced attention-seeking behavior.

Now for the things that you should be doing:

Speak with no filters and offer your honest opinions. Normally when you chat with friends, you probably don’t feel like you ever run out of things to talk about. This is because you are not constantly filtering your thoughts, being worried that they are good enough to say. Being stuck in your head is what leads to awkward pauses in a conversation. Some disagreement and debate in a conversation is engaging. Ask a person’s opinion and be willing to disagree with it. This shows that you are not just saying things to get them to like you. Thus they will feel that the can trust what you say as being honest and that they can use it to accurately get to know you.

Let other people talk about what interests them and be an active listener.

Talk about things of value to the other person. What information do you know that may of use to them? What’s interesting to them? What useful advice can you give? How can you help solve a problem that they have?

Talk about what interests you. The passionate energy that you will communicate will be felt by the other person.

Avoid situations such as talking about programming languages in a group of people where the majority know nothing about programming. Technical people often speak way too in-depth about specific things that other people have little knowledge about.

For a truly engaging conversation, you need to be communicating emotions not just information.

You don’t actually have to be an interesting person for people to be interested in talking to you. On average, things such as: positivity, fun, and being emotionally stimulating, all rank higher than being conversationally interesting when it comes to building a connection. Often people don’t even really remember the details of a conversation, but instead just the emotions that they felt. When it comes to things like generating attraction, the subject matter of a conversation is often trivial. It’s all what’s being sub-communicated that is of actual importance. I wrote an entire book based on this idea.

If you want people to find you to be a more interesting person, then you should actually work on becoming a more interesting person. Say yes to new experiences. You can create a more interesting life by exposing yourself to new things. You don’t necessarily need to travel the world going on adventures. You can expose yourself to new ideas through books and podcasts to create a personal knowledge base that allows you to provide a unique perspective.

Full Video: https://youtu.be/UbZ9UcWfhfk