Attraction is not created by what you logically say but instead by what you emotionally convey. You cannot logically convince someone to like you.

R000TKIT · 2021-03-09T15:24:32+00:00

You just described myself word to word. Being an engineer, I can only communicate/think logically, which makes me feel like an alien amongst other people.

ihaphleas · 2021-03-09T15:50:41+00:00

You will never convince anyone of anything they are not emotionally prepared (or at least open) to believe by logical argument.

Even a mathematician, which I am, will struggle with a logical proof whose conclusions radically alter their worldview ... just think of the reactions to Goedel.

Even the most logical person must essentially go through all the "stages of grief" to come to terms with a radical change.

That said, seduction isn't about radically changing someone's view ... that simply isn't going to happen. It's about making that initial conception as positive, comfortable and authentic as possible ... so that no big readjustments are needed later.

Guess what, few people are going to think you are positive, comfortable and authentic with them if you can't even be so with yourself.

Lift, read How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, and maybe even get some professional therapy if you can't get that way by yourself or find friends that help bring out those things.

lmpcpedz · 2021-03-09T17:13:41+00:00

Interesting thread... TIL there are many rocket scientist subscribed to r/seduction 🤔

Super_Neat_7172 · 2021-03-09T21:24:26+00:00

You cannot logically convince someone like you.

Reread that.

HandsomeBadness · 2021-03-09T15:11:45+00:00

Literally me. Going to watch this after work!

MakeSail · 2021-03-09T21:31:16+00:00

Not sure if the following is useful to anyone, but as an engineer, I thought it may be helpful in sharing what I know about women.

What I know is based on my own experience in understanding women's instinctual behavior.

I divide attraction in meeting women IRL into two basic categories; initial attraction and mate value attraction.

Initial attraction is based on seeing a man IRL, looks, body language, walk, etc.

IRL women will start to flirt with a man she sees as attractive.

Mate value attraction is based on conversation after introductions.

An interested woman will try and evaluate the man through conversation. I have found women rely primarily on an emotional skill set in testing the character of a man, meaning confidence, emotional stability, intelligence, kindness, effective communicator, sense of humor, etc.

There are always exceptions to what women do IRL. If she is attracted to intelligence and wants to talk about something complex, I am very effective. The mind set initially should be to expect emotionally driven questions and nonverbal connection.

Conversation (mate value attraction) between two emotionally mature adults with mutual attraction is mostly nonverbal in making an emotional connection. Emotional connection does not mean talking about emotions. You are communicating desire nonverbally.

To do this effectively as a man means you have a high level of emotional intelligence (self-aware, empathy, etc.). What you talk about is very important in uncovering who she is as a person, and the "why" behind her needs.

It's like you have two communication channels; conversation (verbal) and connection (nonverbal), but you are thinking about how these are weighted in what you want to convey. You can communicate effectively using both methods.

What you do depends on who she is. You are continually adjusting the conversation in real-time to produce the outcome you want. You use a skill set, not a script.

Being intelligent does not mean getting stuck in your head.

Being intelligent means you can navigate a coherent strategy in real-time.

Intelligence is a very valuable skill to have. It is interesting how intelligence can influence a woman's desires.

Also, part of being intelligent is understanding the most effective way to learn. Everyone is different in how they learn a new skill. So, for example, I like to script conversation and I also like to journal after encounters to understand better how to identify what happened.

I also cold approach women to just talk, based on me identifying something unique in their personalities. It's not to practice conversation, which I am very good at, it is to understand and confirm what I am feeling matches her nonverbals, it helps me polish my nonverbal skills at reading women at a distance.

So, each individual must determine the most effective way to learn. Technical people already have an advantage if they went to university where you have to overcome most of your learning roadblocks in order to succeed.

caesarfecit · 2021-03-09T20:16:10+00:00

I find the best way to explain seduction is that it's both role play and just socializing. It's a mixture of the two.

By flirting with someone, you're placing yourself in a role with the way you flirt or relate to them. But at the same time, if you go full retard with that, its too much too fast and it comes across as inauthentic and untrustworthy. But if you want success with the opposite sex, a guy needs to learn how play the dominant but carefree ladies man, and women need to learn how to play the self-possessed but submissive dream girl.

But this also explains why men and women lose their shit around a girl who plays the sex kitten or a guy who plays the bad boy. That's how you put yourself out there confidently, because you know what the opposite sex really wants. Add into that a decent personality and some good social skills and you're at fuckbuddy material. Add to that a compelling lifestyle and you're the person the opposite sex obsesses over and chases.

And in some ways, the first and last step is learning how to play the role. If you focus only on that, sooner or later the act will fall apart and your glaring flaws will be exposed. But at the same time, if you figure your shit out and don't learn how to play the role, you'll get opportunities and fail to seal the deal.

auphotographer33 · 2021-03-10T06:13:08+00:00

I pulled out a white board and some fucking markers and laid it all out for her. It was all quite simple and once she saw my logic, she called the cops, got a restraining order and stole my weed. Shell come around. They always do.

HandsumSquidwerd · 2021-03-09T18:41:14+00:00

Attraction and emotional connections aren’t the most logical things in the planet, at least at a first glance. They can be explained with logic, but there’s a huge degree of randomness and nuance involved.

STEM people are used to thinking about things that will follow hard strict scientific rules. I did a STEM degree and by far the hardest concept that most people struggled with was probability. Everyone (including myself) hated that course and struggled in it. It’s because to do well in it, we had to think in a way that we weren’t used to thinking.

Ironically, non-STEM people tend to think more in probabilities.

freekayZekey · 2021-03-10T01:11:19+00:00

Can kinda see that. I’m a software developer and have almost talked myself out of girls thanks to my brain trying to solve problems.

Scenario: drinking with girl at a bar

Her: Hop into my car; we’ll go to my place then yours.

Me: But my apartment is closer. That makes no sense.

Her: I want you to see the dogs

Me: yeah, but that can happen an-

Her: I want you to see the dogs and stay a bit

Me: ooooh

Left-Coat-4028 · 2021-03-09T16:54:32+00:00

This is why it’s better to feel or “be” and not think

arandom1131 · 2021-03-09T23:49:57+00:00

This is entirely dependent on the type of person. I actively seek out critical thinkers over emotional feel-gooders. I know the thinkers will be more stable and reliable and I genuinely value their thoughts

sendindaninja · 2021-03-09T18:03:44+00:00

I wish I could say, duh..., But i guess I just did. It's like fishing...the gear doesn't mean much without the bait...

Chaseshaw · 2021-03-09T17:07:47+00:00

Perhaps when you're 20.

It is similarly true this LACK of emotional conveyance is an indicator you are not lying. Because emotions are easy to deceive. This is good advice for someone working on their "game", but not necessarily for someone 35 and looking for long term and solid.

GeeseCTM · 2021-03-10T02:30:57+00:00

They're really needs to be hardcore moderation in this community. How do these posts even survive?

Intelligence-Is-Sexy · 2021-03-09T21:51:55+00:00

Some people are sapiosexual.

FalconVita · 2021-03-09T22:34:24+00:00

So its just really a state of the mind

Choice-Garden-4494 · 2021-03-09T23:37:21+00:00

because im too smart

stevenhosss · 2021-03-09T16:04:22+00:00

It’s looks money and status.

Do you know how many girls slept with the prime Los Angeles lakers or prime Chicago bulls?

Do u think that they were emotionally conveying anything?

You know when I emotionally convey stuff? When I’m high. Are my results better when I’m high? No

My results are best when I have structured a situation in such a way that I look important or powerful to the girl.

stevenhosss · 2021-03-09T16:05:24+00:00

Dan bilzerian is super effective with girls.

He’s also super logical and non emotional.

He structures his encounters in such a way that he’s the boss.

This is what matters. Not emotion vs logic lol

GrislyGrape · 2021-03-09T19:23:37+00:00

Debatable, after a long drawn out conversation you'll be so exhausted and desperate for closure you'll do anything for it to be over. Just talk then into the ground

2021-03-09T22:16:42+00:00

This is me, I just can't express my emotions and how I feel, I don't like that people know that I am interested on them idk why, I am not sure if It's okay to show interest in people

chickacherrycolaa · 2021-03-09T23:26:09+00:00

accurate

Anhilator26 · 2021-03-10T00:38:20+00:00

Once I understood this it opened a whole new world to me. The Pandemic and lockdown have been the best thing for me learning the theory of attraction. Excited to put it to use in public!

Justjoeks5 · 2021-03-10T03:30:43+00:00

I’ll (Chem E here) have to remember to try and incorporate this the next time I try talking with women.

dreweydecimal · 2021-03-10T03:33:52+00:00

I’m in marketing. I sell an idea through emotions. I am completely bought in, and I want YOU to buy in too. You can feel it in the tone of my voice, and the fact that I am NOT always in control of what I want to say.

lostinth0ught · 2021-03-10T03:49:07+00:00

I figured this out in the recent past and decided not to pursue a career in Engineering or IT although I had a knack for it.

Most of my colleagues in my team(SDE) are smart nerds who have zero mojo outside their nerd jokes and sick refs(which I enjoy) but that's it.

If they were in a club, they would just sit in a corner awkwardly, over-analysing everything they say or do in a super-casual environment like that.

Hence, I've decided not to pursue a strictly technical profession cuz the lifestyle repelled me.

PS: I'm still not sure what to pursue.
I'm looking at Consulting or general Business related profession, since it involves the dynamics of human interaction and analytical thinking. I would like some creativity thrown in to find my ideal profession.

thebodyclock · 2021-03-10T16:50:28+00:00

Real life experiences build character. This is why in the age of technology so many Men have turned into robots with no charisma or sex appeal.

easy-Ez · 2021-03-11T12:46:41+00:00

The best term to describe the people you are talking about is STEM people ( Science Technology Engineering Mathematics )

Gelo521 · 2021-03-25T16:50:30+00:00

u/lovelight521

Gelo521 · 2021-03-25T16:50:43+00:00

u/lovelight521

armorm3 · 2021-04-05T00:31:39+00:00

This is true about technically inclined people. At the end of the day it's all about how it feels (to her)..

Gelo521 · 2021-04-22T06:25:36+00:00

u/SpeakingFromLove

Title	Attraction is not created by what you logically say but instead by what you emotionally convey. You cannot logically convince someone to like you.
Author	MK2718
Upvotes	1045
Comments	86
Date	March 9, 2021 1:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/m16c8w/attraction_is_not_created_by_what_you_logically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/attraction-is-not-created-by-what-you-logically.1510892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1510892

Comments