How to stop feeling like a creep?

canseiDeSerEnganado · 2024-07-19T20:24:03+00:00

When you see women talking about creepy men online, they are talking about men who give this feeling of dangerous. The feeling that their freedom and consent will not be respected. This happens when you pass the vibe that she saying "No, thank you. I'm not interested" will not be enough to end the interaction.

A lot of men thinks that when women complain about men being like this, they are talking specifically about them. But usually is less than 5% of the men who act like this, but the experience is bad enough to make women raise the guard against everybody else. Dealing with creepy guys who don't respect consent is scary and can be really dangerous.

But you are not like this, so don't worry. Just the fact that you seem to care about this subject is already a good sign. If you present your self well, are polite, and understand that no means no, you can have your conscious clean that you are not doing anything wrong. A lot of girls that I approach and rejects me say thank you for the respectful way I talked with them, despite not being interested.

And sometimes, girls will be creeped out for reasons there are not on your control. Maybe she is racists and fears people of color, maybe something in the way you dress triggers this on her (for example, she can be creeped out for some Arabic vestments), you never know the other person's life experiences.

Just feel free to flirt and show your interest and respect when you are rejected. There is nothing wrong with that. =)

Seductive_allure3000 · 2024-07-19T22:38:55+00:00

Own your masculinity. Don't apologise for being attracted to a Woman. Realise that Women want sex just as much (if not more) than Men. There's nothing wrong with feeling attraction.

Shadow__Account · 2024-07-19T21:32:36+00:00

You need to rationally realize women love being touched love sex and intimacy, after you need to go and experience it in real life to get the positive feedback/reinforcement so you can internalize it.

And you need to understand what a creep actually is, it is someone that doesn’t read the social cues/feedback. It’s not the putting of your hand on her leg that’s creepy, it’s the not taking your hand away when there is a cue it’s not the right time. So become aware of these cues simultaneously.

GymBroTRT · 2024-07-19T20:07:22+00:00

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/feeling-good-podcast-team-cbt-the-new-mood-therapy/id1171155453?i=1000433844659

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/feeling-good-podcast-team-cbt-the-new-mood-therapy/id1171155453?i=1000434402813

Amaran345 · 2024-07-20T01:15:16+00:00

That sounds like "fearful-avoidant" attachment, op, a series of insecurities that don't let you attach to women in a secure way, without fears or distrusts. This attachment is called "avoidant" because you feel a strong urge or inclination to disengage and create distance, this process is called "deactivation", when your insecurities get triggered, you will want to go away, to deactivate.

This attachment style has a component of low self esteem, where you perceive yourself as creepy, and there's also a component of low opinion of others where you assume that women will distrust you and see you as creepy, you need to fix these two.

How to overcome this? therapy, and self-therapy too, you need to rewire your mind to see yourself as a man that deserves love and attention, and to see women as good people that won't see you as creepy, basically putting yourself on a pedestal, and women too (secure attachment), this gives you the capability of listening to yourself and listening to her, so that you can work together for a relationship of mutual benefit, assuming she's capable of secure attachment too (if she's not, no worries, not your fault)

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-07-20T10:07:44+00:00

Creepy guys are not self aware. You are self aware, too self aware actually. Its crippling you.

McPigg · 2024-07-20T11:41:16+00:00

On an inner game level, you embrace it, men are inherently creepy to women because of bad experiences most go through and the general power imbalance. So yeah im a creep like everyone else, but im a nice one lol

Outwardly what helped me the most was giving the women lots of "outs/exits". Like nonchalantly adding in stuff like "if im bothering you tell me, no big deal, im gonna leave you alone, got shit to do anyway" / "you can tell me if sths making you uncomfy, i know can be a little over the top sometimes" / "if you dont want its cool, no big deal i understand". You explicitly set her free to discontinue the interaction or not comply at any point, and in turn get definite consent that shes interacting with you out of her own will if shes like "no its fine". This pronounces your not needy, and creates comfort for her, but more importantly it gives yourself more comfort and confidence.

NoVermicelli1303 · 2024-07-19T20:54:09+00:00

Just be a normal guy who treats women like normal human beings. Take care of your appearance and your manners, you don’t want to be looking and behaving like a bum. Lastly, it’s all in your head. Relax

Custer99 · 2024-07-20T03:26:40+00:00

I get that heavy. I can never tell, I usually have them laughing and flirting, sometimes even longer conversations where I then try and get their number or snap before we go our separate ways. I’m usually hopefully but the fact I rarely get a text or added back on snap makes me wonder if these girls are being fake nice and want me to just go away instead of trying to talk to them.

Dandys3107 · 2024-07-20T11:09:01+00:00

I guess you should rethink your escalation game. If we think about it straight, creeping is about going very slow and weird. So, make your first moves socially acceptable and congruent with your body language. Set it clearly in your mind that you want to get physical with a girl. Start with getting closer, making eye contact, smiling, having casual interaction. This is just how it is done. You should just stay aware of girl’s reactions, if she seems to feel uneasy or uninterested, you need to make step backwards or even abandon mission completely. “Creep” usually stays in his head, ignoring actual signals and mood and not controlling his inner state and emotions. It’s obviously not attractive for girls.

berzerker5000 · 2024-07-20T13:50:29+00:00

How do you overcome it? Just stop doing it. You are obviously aware you are doing it so stop.

amBoringGuy · 2024-07-20T14:37:11+00:00

The problem is that you have an association in your mind that keeps you from having success. What you described (touching, flirting, escalating physically) are all things that men who do well with women do, but you seem to perceive those behaviors as creepy. These things are not in fact creepy, but your perception of this kind of behavior makes it creepy, and therefore unacceptable to you. Your perception connects “men who do well with women” with “creeps”. You may, without realizing it, see them as the same thing. This essentially creates an insurmountable barrier to you having success with women, as you want to have success with women while avoiding behaving in a way that would grant you that success because you, in your mind, have deemed it “creepy”. Rather than trying to disassociate the two so as to be able to successfully move forward with improving your love life, allow me to make a slightly more radical suggestion: do what the creep would do. Become the creep. Obviously, do not do anything of a sexually violent nature, consent when it comes to sex shouldn’t be implied and should never be overwritten, but you seem to relate simple and innocent things such as touching and flirting and escalating physically with “creepiness”. You need to see that there is nothing wrong with flirting and physical touching. In fact, not only is it a common part of flirting and dating, it’s a common part of plutonic relationships as well. Become the “creep” and see how long it takes for your perception of what’s acceptable and what’s not to completely erode.

Westernation · 2024-07-21T07:23:30+00:00

As long as you’re not actually holding a borat-style wedding sack when you introduce yourself, I think you’re fine.

I think the manosphere types call it being ‘centered’ or ‘in frame’, but I always just saw it as poise ie being able to not be visibly unnerved by any of the thousand reactions a woman can show when you talk to her. The less impact a woman easily has on you, the more she’ll want to come to you.

Title	How to stop feeling like a creep?
Author	DSporks42
Upvotes	30
Comments	23
Date	July 19, 2024 7:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e7cr30/how_to_stop_feeling_like_a_creep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-feeling-like-a-creep.1524756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524756

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