How to stop flakers

Marxus_Aurelius · 2022-06-26T16:59:50+00:00

First time: okay no problem let’s try again another time

Second time: alright but I’m not going to keep asking

Third time: cut off contact and move on

Usually I stop talking to them after 2 flakes but if they are really catching my interest then I’ll ask a third time. Never more than that.

seddit_seddit · 2022-06-26T17:00:53+00:00

You know the best solution? Spin more plates. Whining about flaking comes from a scarcity mindset.

loveivy · 2022-06-26T17:30:28+00:00

Stop trying to make more meetups. Even if I get flaked on for the first time and the girl doesn’t immediately try to reschedule, I’ll give her a chilled reply but not suggest alternatives myself. Wait until she tries to rearrange, and move on with your life. Abundance mindset as the other guy said. Otherwise you run the risk of coming across to the girl like you are placing her on a pedestal, and trust me, she will lose respect for you instantly. If she does not try to rearrange she isn’t that interested.

The girl may have had a genuine excuse, but the more you waste time trying to set up other meet ups with a potential time waster is better spent on people who will reciprocate your energy.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-06-26T17:36:40+00:00

Woman are addicted to validation, if you are just going to hand it over the phone there is no need to meet with you. Text and phone game is only to "greet" with statements and not conversation. You text to greet and set a date to "meet up". They won't meet up? Then there you go. Now you know who's a validation vampire and flake.

Accomplished_Bed723 · 2022-06-26T17:44:25+00:00

After the first time id already be pursuing others and say to let me know when they are free. If she wants to meet she will instigate it nothing you can do will swing her either way

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-06-26T18:12:57+00:00

You cut all contact and move on. She’s not into you.

DisneyUp · 2022-06-26T21:01:27+00:00

You shouldn’t be investing in anyone that doesn’t give you a clear sign of interest. Keep your options open. If you don’t have many options right now, don’t let them know this.

After several rearrangements on their side (you decide the cut off number) you make it clear what your intention is (if you haven’t already), indicate that the ball is in her court but also that you will be investing your time elsewhere until something materialises. This adds subtle pressure that she might be missing out (if she is actually on the fence or playing games). If she’s not interested she won’t care either way and you’ve lost nothing.

“Hey, I’d really like to hang out sometime but after several attempts to put plans together it feels like maybe you’re uncertain of what you want or perhaps I’m just not it. That’s okay, but I’m going to invest my time elsewhere unless I get a heads up that the feeling might be mutual. If it’s not, I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

derfruchtkatze · 2022-06-26T16:43:57+00:00

Only acceptable thing is if she reschedules one day after at the most, without ANY communication (even replies to "hey") until she does so.

And only once.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-06-26T17:31:56+00:00

That tends to stop when you stop having one minute conversations with them in your cold approaches and actually take some decent time to get to know them first.

derfruchtkatze · 2022-06-26T17:14:21+00:00

I'm curious to hear alternative explanations

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-26T18:26:07+00:00

What do you consider a flake?

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-06-26T21:36:30+00:00

Try to arrange a meetup 2 or max 3. If she's not meeting up to you then, just delete her number and forget about her.

You need to be having many many phone numbers that you're running through, and you get this by going out alot, and trying to get the number as often as possible.

Calamity__Bane · 2022-06-26T21:56:01+00:00

I just stop talking to her unless there’s something else I’m getting from the exchange.

Neo-Rio · 2022-06-27T01:51:19+00:00

Flakes boil down to one or more of the following:

You not attracting her in the first place.
The woman has no sex drive, or one that can only be triggered one day a month meaning that she's only sexually available 12 days of the year.
The woman has a sex drive but she's suffering PMS - and she's not about to tell you this.
The woman has a sex drive but is hooking up with some other guy currently
The way you structured the meet up made it feel like a date and hence she backed out.
She's a complete ditz

The way to solve this is basically to cut all contact until she calls you (if at all).What you should be doing is telling her what time you have available (which is very limited, you are busy) and tell her where you will be IF she wants to come and hang out. That place is usually going to be a quiet bar near your place (or some other quiet place) where you will be doing something you always would be doing anyway - so if she doesn't show, you aren't going to care. This prevents flaking and tempting immature women to stand you up, because you imply that you don't care if she doesn't show.Furthermore if she doesn't show, you aren't going to call her up any more. The ball is now in her court.

2022-06-27T04:46:32+00:00

If she flakes twice, I typically let her lead after that, and they never do.

Stujitsu2 · 2022-06-27T04:57:07+00:00

You don't stop them you just move on as quickly as possible.

SnooPets1514 · 2022-06-27T11:35:06+00:00

As simple as this: if she flakes and doesn't give me a reason, I'm nexting her.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-06-27T12:48:36+00:00

Have options and make plans with multiple women, you plan 7, 5 cancel you still have 3

Sup3rHD · 2022-06-27T13:31:53+00:00

1 flake= ghost her for life. If she text me and beg to meet, maybe i will accept. Flake= disrespect.

SeanBatemanJr · 2022-06-27T13:57:21+00:00

It depends on your willingness to spend your time to get through this barrier. You can have a list of flaky girls who you write with offer to meet up once a week. If you’re not lazy, you can repeat it week after week for months. Some will meet you in the end, just like some people will buy product after seeing commercial on TV again and again (I remember one girl never or rarely even answered my weekly texts with offers to meet, but agreed to go out after 6 months — it was in the times of me being much more disciplined and experimental). Or you can follow the philosophy of not spending too much energy on girls who don’t respond right away. It all depends on your priorities and how interested you are in getting the specific girl out. P.S.: Sometimes if a girl is really busy (and a lot of times they are, they are not lying) it’s smart to try thinking of location and time that is more convenient for her (for example near her work on a break) — especially for the first meeting, after which it most of the time becomes much easier to meet because of more psychological investment on a part of the girl.

gazy2k · 2022-06-29T16:57:28+00:00

I’ve experienced endless time wasters I’ve got a one strike rule. No fucks given. One girl I was talking too off tinder months ago no showed I deleted her straight away

Title	How to stop flakers
Author	atticusishe
Upvotes	14
Comments	50
Date	June 26, 2022 4:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vl8f4s/how_to_stop_flakers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-flakers.1256006 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256006

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