How to stop giving a F?

401kiddd · 2024-10-03T13:08:06+00:00

Become busy

Pmurphy37 · 2024-10-03T14:28:22+00:00

Honestly. I tried everything, I went to the gym, I tried therapy, I tried anti-depressants.

What did it for me was meditation.

Prior to meditation I had this internal critic that judge every cell of my existence. How I talked, walked, the way I spoke, my vocabulary, my feelings, my clothing, everything.

Now, anytime I have those fleeting self hatred talks/insecurity. I’m able to instantly recognize they come up and become back into the present moment.

Many people think it’s a hoax, I thought so too.

Imagine having the ability to focus on a woman, listen to what she saying attentively, and have the ability to speak freely (the true you), and not overanalyze every interaction you have. Being free to be yourself, as you are with your closest friends/family.

You know it’s in you, unlock it.

AdventureCat13 · 2024-10-03T14:43:29+00:00

TL;DR: Tell yourself that you don’t give a fuck so much and so often that it becomes the truth. Also, not giving a fuck sometimes equals butt-hurt people; ignore them.

Step one is to fake it. Go into various situations that stress you out and pretend you don’t care and that it doesn’t matter.

As you do this more and more you will notice that much of what you were worried about never comes about. Even when something does happen, the consequences often won’t be as severe as you probably expect them to be.

Over time, as you gain more experiences like this, you will notice than it becomes easier to pretend until you’re not really pretending anymore.

The mind bases future predictions on past experiences. So the goal is to accumulate enough experiences of (faking) not giving a fuck to reach a critical mass.

Another thing that can help is instead of focusing on the consequences/potential of situation, you focus on your frustration/anger/annoyance about it. It important to balance this, and not over focus on it since you run the risk of developing a victim/entitlement mentality, but occasionally reminding yourself of all the BS you’ve had to put up with can make it easier to care less about how your actions impact other (which is part of not giving a fuck)

Again, it’s important not to go too far with this and a little goes a long way unless you want to become a complete dick. However, an inherent part of not giving a fuck is defying or subverting social norms which will make some people uncomfortable/upset. You need to be prepared for this mentally.

In general, not giving a fuck comes down to thinking through a situation, playing out the various consequences and then being prepared to accept them. It’s about cultivating just enough arrogance to be like: “Actually, all of you are wrong and I am right.”

The social pressure to conform and not stand out is very real and very pervasive. In order to not give a fuck, you have to develop some mental/emotional armour to help you resist the pressure.

Just be prepared. People are drawn to confidence but not all that attention will be positive. I’m pretty sure someone once said something along the lines of hatred being just as much of an attractive force as love is.

You need to acknowledge and accept that you will challenge and offend people just by being yourself. Focus less on people liking you and more on them respecting you.

In summation, put yourself in uncomfortable situations until you are comfortable being uncomfortable. This will build you confidence (i.e. your ability to not give a fuck). Just understand, not everyone will appreciate this.

Morinator · 2024-10-03T13:14:11+00:00

I think this comes with success.

You will be less affected by the thought of some women dont wanting you or fear of saying/doing something wrong if you know that you have options...If you know you successfully seduced women in the past...If you know you aren't a loser.

So fake it till you make it I guess.

Lord_Asmodeus93 · 2024-10-03T13:32:57+00:00

You just do. Stop overanalyzing everything, and just go out to have fun.

Keep it simple.

HomelessMilkman · 2024-10-03T14:20:26+00:00

Physically relax, untense, unclench, let go.

It's very 'easy', simple and requires nothing external.

The issue is that you tense up involuntarily and you try to solve that through trying harder, forcing validation, gritting your teeth and 'pushing through the pain', trying to control and manage everything, expending effort playing a persona, judging yourself and others, thining not acting, etc. All forms of tension.

There's behaviour that allows you to relax and trust in yourself; and there's behaviour that makes you tense up and shut down. It's not 'difficult', you just have to do that in the situation, under pressure.

Majestic_Ad6799 · 2024-10-03T13:44:23+00:00

You can read the book " the subtle art of not giving a F" by mark Manson

KushlHaze · 2024-10-03T15:03:01+00:00

Learn what to give a fuck about. Pick your battles. Some shit is just not worth giving a fuck about. What’s the context though?

ratfooshi · 2024-10-03T17:35:07+00:00

Overexposure.

Think of it like a snowball on a mountain. 🏔️

You wanna build momentum. Let the rest take care of itself.

I started by going to the clubs by myself.
Not even talking to anyone. Just sitting looking "weird".

I did this until going out felt as natural as chilling in my living room.

Good News: I don't give a fuck. And it draws people to me. Cause that shit is rare.

Bad News: I don't give a fuck. Men envy me women find me refreshing. I brawl more than I should lol.

But if that don't tickle your fancy...

Side Mission:
Practice staring at people who are on passing trains.
You'll never see them again.
There's no outcome to fear besides your own discomfort.

CrwdsrcEntrepreneur · 2024-10-03T13:51:06+00:00

LOL this is like asking "how to stop hitting myself in the face?"...

Just stop

cutthechatter_red2 · 2024-10-03T13:43:24+00:00

The worst thing that’s gunna happen is that the girls you want to get with but haven’t, you still aren’t gunna get with. You don’t lose anything by not getting them.

iCloudStrife · 2024-10-03T13:49:28+00:00

Not like this

no_one_lies · 2024-10-03T14:18:13+00:00

Have other things in your life that you define as more important. Women and their acceptance of you / dealing with their drama all becomes secondary

Alternative_Meat_716 · 2024-10-03T14:36:02+00:00

As I got sucked back into my old habits I can give you my reflected view (of my life) on this.

As I'm not doing stuff and unproductive most if the day. Mostly just wasting time and procrastinate I tend to become insecure and needy.

Funny enough when I'm in my best which means having a good eating/sleeping/workout schedule, doing stuff I need to do for career and such, a good social life and plans for myself for my life, I tend to not give a damn what others think because I'm more focused on what I want out of life.

It becomes even funnier when I meet new women. I recently got the advice of "think about if you like her, not if she likes you". This gave me the courage to be myself and not to think about how others would perceive me. If I'm myself all the time, the people not wanting to spend time with such a person filter out themselves 💪.

Good luck on your journey.

BombardMeWithBoobs · 2024-10-03T15:02:42+00:00

You do things primarily for you, not primarily for validation. Walk to the beat of your own drum.

Yesterday, I booked a couples massage for me and my fwb. Not because I want sex in return. Not to impress her. We’ve had sex plenty of times. I don’t need to do much besides make the bootycall if I’m in the mood.

I booked the couples massage because we both had a stressful month, hadn’t seen each other in a while, and I am a slut for massages in general. My fwb just moved, so I know she’s physically exhausted from that and her job. She gives me excellent massages but it wouldn’t be fair to ask her under these circumstances. And I know she’d gladly do it if I asked her, even if she’s tired. I’m also tired. If I massage her, it would be half-assed and I know that wouldn’t work for her.

If I didn’t go with her, then I would have done the same for my brother. Next time I go it will likely be with my brother because it feels good to do nice things for people you get along with. And I know they’ll appreciate it and get some much needed relaxation, so it’s not a waste of my money.

kdt-98 · 2024-10-03T15:06:46+00:00

The way to stop giving a f*** so much is to not be so attached to the outcome and to just be in the present moment. And try not to be in your head too much and being overly analytical. Whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, just go for it, and if you fail, go for it again until you succeed.

mredge73 · 2024-10-03T15:35:20+00:00

You need to find a level of care that eases your anxiety without making you look like a sociopath.

Force yourself to only worry about things that you can directly control. Start with global things and work it down. Quit worrying about the weather, politics, wars in faraway lands, economic markets, etc. Once you master that, you can work on mastering not caring about the way people perceive you. Work on controlling you, your actions, and your reactions. These matter to the people that you actually care about.

PM_Teeny_Titties · 2024-10-03T16:13:24+00:00

With regards to what?

burningpetroleum · 2024-10-03T20:51:38+00:00

be chad

iRollGod · 2024-10-04T05:07:11+00:00

Whenever I catch my mind “drifting” and heading towards anxious thoughts and negative thoughts loops, I stop everything I’m doing and repeatedly say “I don’t care” out loud until another thought pops into my head and I carry on.

I have hyperactive ADHD and am mostly unmedicated so I struggle 24/7 with a brain that would prefer to fight me than work with me, but there’s a ton of coping mechanisms out there, you just gotta find the combination that works for you.

Also, read “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”. Duh 😂

VrilHunter · 2024-10-04T05:39:38+00:00

The subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson.

People say this book is overrated but seldom they apply what they read. It is good.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-10-04T06:39:08+00:00

Solve the problem of whatever it is you're giving a fuck about.

If it's lack of a love life, get a love life. If it's money, start looking for a better job. If it's lack of friends, go find some.

The only thing that has ever made me stop giving a fuck is winning. And the only way I started to win was by solving my problems.

Dandys3107 · 2024-10-04T13:34:48+00:00

Abundance of options and rich lifestyle. If you have many ways of fulfilling your desires, you won’t be so obsessed about one source potentially shutting down.

Ok-Training-7587 · 2024-10-03T13:47:53+00:00

Play the numbers game. Your body will internalize how little each individual interaction matters if you are having a lot of interactions

Aggressive-Baby-7024 · 2024-10-03T14:35:37+00:00

Therapy helps

IndependentMud7721 · 2024-10-03T14:39:14+00:00

Life is short. Free time (outside of work, sleep, other mandatory activities) is incredibly little. You will regret all the free time you spent validating and chasing women later in life.

pendragon2290 · 2024-10-03T15:23:39+00:00

Mary-J is my secret for not giving a fuck 🤷

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-10-03T14:03:17+00:00

You stop giving a F by eliminating lust from your body mind and soul.

That task is not possible for humans in physical existence regardless of effort. You need to ask Christ to take your lust whether or not you believe in him or believe what I'm saying.

If lust is not a factor, there is no need to give a f.

HistoricalMuscle2 · 2024-10-03T15:30:57+00:00

If it's not in your character, then forget about it. Some things are only possible by human nature and character. I'm like you as well by the way.

Indianbro · 2024-10-03T14:41:47+00:00

Stop masterbating for a few days and quit watching porn

Title	How to stop giving a F?
Author	Training_Ad3600
Upvotes	53
Comments	43
Date	October 3, 2024 12:50 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fv6yne/how_to_stop_giving_a_f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-giving-a-f.1531954 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531954

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