This is a follow up to the 'How to Have Casual Sex and Threesomes With Lots of Girls' thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3p7kxk/how_to_have_casual_sex_and_threesomes_with_lots/

Quite a few guys asked the very fair question 'but how do I bring up the topic of sex with a girl without being creepy?'

Here's a step by step system you can follow:

I've got a product called The Sexual Gentleman where I talk about something called an escalation ladder. It's too detailed to fully explain here, but essentially it's a process you go through where you peel off the layers of the onion.

The deeper and more intense you get, the closer to the centre you are. You can't get to the centre without peeling off the outer layers first.

So if you start with 'yo what's your deepest sexual fantasy', she'll likely not respond too well to this, because you're trying to start at the centre.

The key here is SAFETY, in this case emotional safety.

Remember - she doesn't want to risk being judged by you, herself or others. She doesn't want to feel like a slut.

So unless she feels that you 'get it', that you're one of the few guys who can hear ALL her fantasies (not just the 2 girl 3some ones) without judging her and branding her a filthy slut, she's going to lock up and not tell you anything. She needs to know that her revelations are safe with you.

So you start slowly.

Step 1: An Inoffensive Question

I'll usually begin by asking what her experiences meeting men are like. If I met her on Tinder, I'll ask 'so what's your experience of Tinder like?'

If I met in a bar, I'll ask 'so what's your normal experience of meeting guys in bars like?'

These are inoffensive, easy to answer questions. Nothing offensive here.

And she'll tell me how most guys on Tinder are creeps. Or ask boring questions like 'hi how was your weekend'. Or she'll tell me how most guys in bars are either too drunk, or over-confident fratboy 'try-too-hard' types.

I can follow it up with 'I guess these guys don't flick the light on for you then...'

I'm working towards painting a picture of the kind of guy she does go for (and in the process, subtly implying that guy is me).

Step 2: Get Her to Agree That She Likes a Man to Be a Man

She will agree with this statement and I'll follow it up with 'I get the impression that you really like a man to be a man, not necessarily in a caveman sort of way, but a guy who knows who he is, what he wants and isn't afraid to take the lead and make decisions'.

She will agree with this too. sometimes she'll correct you slightly and say 'yes, but I also like...' or 'yes, but I like to make decisions too...' in which case let her talk. She's telling you her exact blueprint of what she likes.

If she says 'I like to make decisions too...', I say 'I can tell you're strong and independent, like you don't NEED a man. You're not one of these weak women who says 'I need a man to look after me because I can't do it myself'. But I often find that women who are successful, or women who are doing well in life generally, or women who are really strong, confident and independent are the ones who find it hardest to meet a man who is strong enough to take the lead, because they intimidate most men.'

She will always agree with this, because you're telling her she's independent and strong, and most men can't handle her. Obviously you don't need to say any of these things word for word - just get the general message across. These aren't magic lines.

These words in particular though make it much easier for her to accept that yes, she does want a strong man. Some women will accept it immediately, but others will think that you're implying that she's weak, or a doormat. So you show her how this isn't the case and she'll jump on board.

In fact, it's generally good to deliver that last bit anyway. She's never going to reject that (unless she doesn't see herself as strong or independent, in which case skip over that bit).

From here, it's not too difficult to jump into more risque and overtly sexual chat.

Step 3: Turn Up the Heat

'Like even though you're obviously really strong and independent, I bet there's a part of you that just loves to be taken by a strong man...like you know when your man grabs you, slams you up against the wall and kisses you passionately - like he finds you so attractive...and so sexy...that he just has to have you right now.'

Often she'll start getting turned on by this last bit. One thing I really show in The Sexual Gentleman is how to paint pictures with your words. The more vivid you make it, the more real it is to her, and the easier it is for her to imagine herself in that scene.

So it's like she can actually feel herself being slammed up against the wall by you, and kissed passionately.

Your vocal tonality and pacing has to be right here. I'm a little slower than usual, and more intense (I have recordings of this, but unfortunately I can't put them on here). If you go too fast, she can't keep up with her imagination.

Step 4: Full on Filth and Max Intensity

If she responds well to this, I'll turn up the heat some more. 'You know, I can think of a few more more scenarios that you'd like...but it's not appropriate I tell you them now.'

This will intrigue her to say 'no, tell me!!!'

We're now getting into deep sexual fantasy land. And I'm starting to be more graphic and intense with my words, and paint more vivid and more detailed scenarios. I'm now describing actual sex scenes.

The sex scenes have one commonality - you can make up anything you want, but they have to involve you being overcome with lust for her because she's so sexy, beyond any other girl...and you have to have her right now, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen.

I have a number of 'stock scenes' I describe:

  • The one where we're in a bar, we finish up our drinks. We're walking to the next bar and without warning I pull her in an alleyway, slam her up against the wall, let my hands roam all over her sexy body and fuck her.
  • The one where we're driving down a quiet country lane and I can't wait any longer, so I park up, and take her over the bonnet.
  • Anything to do with spontaneous, outdoor, 'right now and not waiting a second longer' encounters. Be creative.

I'm a lot more descriptive than the above, but you get the idea.

If you feel awkward or nervous about doing this, I recommend getting some matches on Tinder and actually doing it over text. Then see her reactions. This will give you confidence to then do it in person.

I've lost count of the number of women who have had orgasms, or got ridiculously turned on just from doing this over text.

I recently met a girl on a Tinder date in Manchester and was having sex with her in the pub bathroom inside 1 hour from doing this. She lost her mind and got really turned on. Even if that sort of encounter isn't for you, you can see how powerful it is.

Enjoy!

PS Full blog post here with video of me doing this on Tinder/Whatsapp: http://www.wayofthegentleman.net/from-tinder-to-turned-on-rapid-sexual-escalation-via-tinder-and-whatsapp/