Is he a player or just not that interested?

KidKannabis · 2022-07-05T16:44:54+00:00

He's not taking you seriously. When you confirm you're still interested in seeing him there is no point in him continuing the conversation since his work is done.

The lack of response is making you want him more since he is harder to get. You are definitely more interested in him than he is to you.

Whether or not he's a player, just messing around, or you are his backup; The dude is playing smart, but you don't need to deal with it and waste your time.

You should stop caring and wait for him to make plans or move on.

LeSulk · 2022-07-05T17:28:49+00:00

I do play a little of that “game” but to me it’s not malicious it’s just common sense you learn after years of dating experiences. If he didn’t create or allow for any gap in communication, you could either get an ick because he’s being too available, or you could panic and slam on the brakes because you think you’re moving too fast. So to me it sounds like he could just be setting the pace to reduce the chances either of those things happening. You can call that a game if you want but to me like I said that’s just experience.

For the majority of men who don’t have any control over their emotions or are lacking experience, yes they’re going to just talk your head off as long as you’re being receptive for better or worse. This would be a sign of low interest if that’s the case but you said some things that imply he’s pretty well in control of himself here.

stanfarce · 2022-07-05T17:14:12+00:00

It feels to me that he's using the good old methods every player knows to make your interest in him grow :

- wait a few days before replying to your texts (the 3 days rule, but looks like he makes it last more time so you don't detect it if you know about it)

- stop the conversations on high notes.

KingWolf7070 · 2022-07-05T18:34:41+00:00

I'm going to be extremely frank. Given this information it seems highly likely to me that he's putting in minimal effort to get pussy. That's it. Possible that he's also doing this to other girls at the same time which would explain why he takes so long in between texts.

I can only compare him to myself. So when I'm texting a partner I do it because I genuinely want to interact with them. Depending on how much time we both have we might have short or long conversations. Or if we have just a tiny bit of time I will at minimum text good morning and good night every day, maybe send funny memes or cute animal pics during a lunch break at work. A short text takes me seconds to send and it's my way to show that I'm thinking about the girl.

In any case, this guy is putting in very little effort. And just asking for and commenting on sexy pics. Maybe following some terrible pick up artist advice trying to seem uninterested to manipulate your subconscious into liking him more. Don't put up with any kind of bullshit. There's billions more guys you can date. Find one that actually puts in effort and clearly shows genuine interest.

MermaidOfScandinavia · 2022-07-05T19:54:41+00:00

He sounds like an asshole. Regardless of what he wants from you, then he is a waste of time in my opinion. Move on girl. Guys like that never gets to date me again. I don't need these shitty games.

Unique_Suspect8711 · 2022-07-05T17:04:11+00:00

Sounds like you are new to his rotation and he hasn’t found time for you yet. He also may be busy and happy with his life and dating/relationship is further on his list hence no rush whatsoever. Plus he already knows you like him and feel comfortable with him so he knows you’re not running away that quickly

stellarlunacy · 2022-07-05T16:30:50+00:00

eh, he’s not interested. he’s just trying to keep the door open for when his other conquests fall through. definitely move on sis.

Competitive-Bill-612 · 2022-07-05T16:19:53+00:00

Congrats you are most definitely his back up and he’s stringing you along in case his other catches bail out. Don’t take that shit queen.

IdBangThatGuy · 2022-07-05T19:26:36+00:00

Dudes got game for sure. Or a steady stream of girls. Or a gf. Anything

luhvxr · 2022-07-05T19:28:41+00:00

from reading this he doesn’t really seem that interested in you romantically and is probably just looking to hook up. maybe try asking him what his intentions are/what he is looking for right now/is he seeing anyone else. what does he want out of this. if it aligns with what you want then great if not cut your losses. i would tell you to play the game back and stop responding to him when he messages you too but that’s so unproductive and just leads to you having to manipulate someone to date you which you don’t want, which no one wants. fuck that

lovestar28 · 2022-07-05T19:46:55+00:00

red flags

Becaus789 · 2022-07-05T20:35:19+00:00

He’s making you into an option you need to be an opportunity.

Separate_Taste3428 · 2022-07-05T21:40:26+00:00

Once you give it up he’s going to be gone, you are already sprung for him.

Harlleym · 2022-07-05T22:08:52+00:00

To be honest it all comes down to what you are looking for. I think that if he puts in such a small amount of effort in this talking stage, maybe you should try imagining how your future would be if you are interested in long term relationships, possibly marriage. I also think you should think about wether or not you would want to put up with his lack of effort long term. Now my comment might not help you decide anything because I had an issue like this where I would just rly be into someone and ignore most of the red flags so I think that sometimes you have to learn a lesson the hard way, at least in dating, to understand your worth and also to recognize and understand yourself and what you are looking for. Hope this helped. Edit: give us an update if you feel like it and good luck.

eszibit · 2022-07-05T16:58:37+00:00

He's not that into you and probably has a lot of options. From what i know girls on apps swipe right way above their league ( 9s and 10s only ) so they get treated like sloppy seconds.

Cool-Assignment-1096 · 2022-07-05T16:30:07+00:00

I’m new ish to Reddit how do I delete a weird comment

Study_of_Wumbology_ · 2022-07-05T16:21:29+00:00

Date other people stop living with a scarcity mindset.

repo1778 · 2022-07-05T22:00:54+00:00

He's playing games. Move on. If he is interested in just you he would be all over it.

premedchunsa · 2022-07-05T18:15:46+00:00

If player is synonymous to a man who has his life together, then yes, your speculation is correct. Honestly though, he seems like a guy who has experience/options and isn’t looking to commit to anything. He’s definitely testing the water but is that really a bad thing? Considering you guys met on a dating app, that’s very normal. If you find him attractive and fun, I’d continue to hang out with him, but play a bit of push game too, just to level the playing field.

ZachMoore88 · 2022-07-05T17:38:02+00:00

I've seen this before.

TheKingpin13 · 2022-07-05T17:54:26+00:00

I'm horny now. I now have blue balls.

Elbynerual · 2022-07-05T22:10:05+00:00

Rule #1

Title	Is he a player or just not that interested?
Author	Cool-Assignment-1096
Upvotes	43
Comments	96
Date	July 5, 2022 4:17 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vs1mzw/is_he_a_player_or_just_not_that_interested/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-he-a-player-or-just-not-that-interested.1255255 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255255

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