Is nice guys that bad?

bulldog_in_the_dream · 2019-01-16T11:35:43+00:00

You don't need to play games. But many guys will play the "nice guy game", e.i. not saying what they really mean out of fear of offending the girl, letting the girl choose activities on dates out of fear she won't like what he likes, etc. The nice guy game is a game of fear and neediness.

You don't need to be bad to get girls. But it helps to be assertive and not hiding who you are.

Livefreeconsulting · 2019-01-16T13:50:10+00:00

There is a difference between a "Kind Man" & a "Nice Guy".

A Kind Man is generally well regarded. He's a man of integrity, he's helpful to his community, and people enjoy being around him. A kind man can be kind without being a pushover, and that's the difference here. You can have your own personality, speak your mind and have a gentleman's disagreement, even if you don't default to douchebaggery.

The "Nice Guy" is a trope that guys can fall into quite readily. Nice Guy refers to needy men who hover around unavailable women. Their hope is by being "available" to them, that one day a woman that they've invested a lot of time in will come to her senses and date them instead of "bad boy". Manipulative women especially prey on these co-dependent and needy men, which is why we warn so heavily against this pattern of behavior. A normal woman will see your needy patterns of behavior and have nothing to do with you. At worst however, these women will drain you of your time, attention, and possibly even money. These are the situations we most want you to avoid.

ProudRamboBSNS · 2019-01-16T15:35:26+00:00

It's about being unique and unpredictable.

The higher x/10 a girl is, the more men she can have at the snap of a finger.

She gets compliments and gets put on a pedestal all the time.

She can have a nice guy any time she wants.

But she's looking for things she can't have, and that's "bad boys" with their abundance mentality, who "don't" give a shit about the girls hotness and treat them like anybody else.

Then the girl is like "wait, what the heck, this guy is immune to my hotness, why doesn't he straight up want me? He has the guts to banter with me and doesn't sway his opinion to be the same as mine? That's kinda hot."

The reason they don't want a nice guy is the same reason why you don't want to fuck all the 1/10 chicks. Because you know they'd be desparate for your attention and you could've had one of those almost anytime you'd like.

We want looks, they want game.

Paltenburg · 2019-01-16T13:11:44+00:00

In this sub, "nice guy" means something negative by definition almost. But both "nice guys" and "bad boys" might put up an act (play games), which is both bad.

If by "being yourself" you mean you are yourself with confidence, and are a chilled out and decent person, that's only good.

Aeon199 · 2019-01-16T11:20:13+00:00

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noprideinsomniac95 · 2019-01-16T14:04:57+00:00

Being yourself isn't nice guy. Demanding that a girl date you or sleep with you because you're "such a nice guy" is nice guy.

geeered · 2019-01-16T14:22:54+00:00

Usual suggestion; have a read of "No More Mr Nice Guy" and see if his understanding of the world reflects the world you see.

7ych0 · 2019-01-16T10:57:42+00:00

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Knerwel · 2019-01-16T10:06:50+00:00

As a woman, I certainly agree with you! The right one will love you as you are.

Bobandjim12602 · 2019-01-16T13:21:40+00:00

Depends on your definition for either term, but no, you definitely don't have to be an asshole to get laid. You just have to be motivated, not clingy, confident and take care of your appearance. The idea that girls will only have sex with/ date complete assholes is untrue. Don't start being an asshole and expect to get laid. It's not the asshole part that women like, it's the confidence. That being said, you have to be an actual nice guy, not a creep that is just her friend hoping that one day your nice points will allow you to magically have sex one day.

DaygameCoach · 2019-01-16T14:43:10+00:00

As long as you are confident, assertive, and clear in your intent, you will do well regardless of labels. If being yourself gets you the women you want ... more power to you, but most men in communities like this have to work on themselves and be their "best selves" to get the kind of women they want. It sounds like you want greater success than you are getting now...without actually working on yourself...something has to change. No game playing needed.

"Nice guy" is what women tell men when they are not interested in them beyond friends, so men have negative associations with the term.

2019-01-16T22:23:56+00:00

Being a nice guy to get something out of her is scummy

lksdshk · 2019-01-17T02:10:08+00:00

I am seem as a nice guy. Why?

Because I can talk about anything anytime

I am funny

I am not over flirting

Just let things go...as example, I matched a girl two days ago, at first she didnt text much...today, we talked about sex and she is lit...she has a dildo, her ex couldn't make her cum, she likes to be touched...I got a boner

We talked about sex and I wasn't stupid asking for nudes, telling how amazing I am in the bed...Keep it casual and fun... thats all. She must be a friend of yours too, at worst, you will be friends

Funkimonkey · 2019-01-17T08:32:04+00:00

Don't be a nice guy. Don't be a bad boy. Be a man.

Title	Is nice guys that bad?
Author	7ych0
Upvotes	12
Comments	61
Date	January 16, 2019 9:59 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/agjny8/is_nice_guys_that_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-nice-guys-that-bad.1291429 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291429

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