Just have fun and stop overthinking it

Bropothecary · 2021-03-17T01:28:56+00:00

Perfect! Going with the flow just makes everything more natural, and you get the chance to connect deeply with someone who is truly interested in who you genuinely are.

CSterlingCoaching · 2021-03-17T01:24:43+00:00

Omg. I'm a dating coach (who breaks down "what to do . . . if" scenarios for a living 😄), and I LOVE this. 👏👏

Erukpt · 2021-03-17T07:27:52+00:00

When people says :" stop over thinking and have fun", it means they have understood nothing.

When people overthought, they are anxious. So it's really difficult to get fun.

They need to build first a confident environment, in order to perceive a stimulation as an excitement instead of a stress.

bloodyfandom · 2021-03-17T01:26:36+00:00

Amen ig 🤷🏼? But seriously sometimes I do expect the unexpected and do things without instructions

MentalCelOmega · 2021-03-17T04:48:41+00:00

Too bad if you screw up, then it's game over with no do over. The game over system in dating is so unforgiving.

ebell1989 · 2021-03-17T15:17:34+00:00

Tell that to my overbearing anxiety.

Trumpeachment · 2021-03-17T03:11:50+00:00

Everything you said was great and I agree but at the end you say to not worry about getting laid and have a good time. Isn't getting laid the good time we're after?

KingRemu · 2021-03-17T07:58:51+00:00

If you plan ahead too much you'll just be in your head the whole time and freeze up that instant things don't go according to your "plan". Go with the flow and be present.

sendindaninja · 2021-03-17T13:33:09+00:00

Practice makes perfect... always practice flirting, even if you're not attracted to them... flirt all the time, this gives you a clue on how to deal with different personalities men/women. Even if your just trying to bang.

MakeSail · 2021-03-17T02:30:49+00:00

Just have fun and relax. No problem. But, it does not give my anything I can use. Can you describe how you approach women? how do you know what your doing is fun? Can you give some examples.

Fun is good but tell me what you know about making an emotional connection that leads to trust and then sex.

AruiMD · 2021-03-17T06:12:09+00:00

It really depends on who you are and what you are looking for. Attractiveness plays a huge part, but not all.

If you want super hot 10/10. You need to be a 10, or have major money, millions.

8/10 Either be a 7,8,9 yourself or have the assets to make up the difference.

Anything less on the attractiveness scale, now you are dealing in the personalities trade and depending on your looks depends on how much of a personality you need to have.

There ARE exceptions to the rule, but this is the generally simplified basic explanation. It’s not rocket science.

Looks gravitate to looks, money, and to a lesser extent brains.

Brains paired with money can overcome a lot.

Women, hate to tell ya but for all intents and purposes hot women are shallow as fuck. They will not touch anything that does not measure up. Another way to look at that, hot women know their worth.

Younger, and older - this skews the dynamic and girls and mature women are more willing to venture outside the normal range for their looks.

Idgaf what anyone tells you, looks is the primary attribute. Then money.

You can achieve a hell of a lot just by trimming your waist down and getting some muscle. You don’t have to be Jacked (but it really helps for certain female types, you know the ones).

Smart girls, in general are usually a bit less attractive than hot girls by virtue of the fact that they have to be. If they were hotter, they’d not need to bother with their brains. Sad, but true. (Yea, I know there are exceptions. I said that.)

Smart girls are also willing to venture out beyond their attractiveness range because in general (and this is perverse, but true) - smart girls have lower self esteem. It should be higher than it usually is, but it is not because women are rated by their looks and they know this.

Ugly and fat. Well, at least you have the freedom to truly not give a single fuck what anyone thinks. And, you don’t have to worry terribly about being raped so you can go out and get drunk and have fun and still make it home. For real, hate me all you want. Life is cruel like that. I didn’t make this planet or condone it, but I won’t lie about it to please anyone.

The male side of this equation, confidence is over rated, frankly. There is no magic formula. You know when you look in the mirror whether you are fit or not. Trust me when I say, everyone else does too. Ya ain’t foolin nobody!

If you are rocking killer abs a big chest and rock hard biceps and you don’t have women hitting on you... it’s your personality (or lack thereof.)

There are three metrics

1: Body/looks 2: Money 3: Personality

Take an honest look at yourself and work on what you need to work on, but realize that each one can only bring you so far... with Body/Looks/Money being the most bang for your buck.

I’m sorry, but personality is really not as important as girls pretend, and not as important as guys wish. It’s the easiest thing to fix, and it gets the least weight.

The world is fair. Being very fit is not fucking easy. Everyone likes to sit around playing video games and eat shit, absolutely everyone.

People without killer bods don’t credit those who have them with enough respect. For the vast majority of people who are in great shape, it’s a second full time job.

We all have seen in life that there are exceptions. But if you are “playing the game” to try and find these exceptions, then I think you are doing it wrong personally.

I find dating to be incredibly meritocratic.

Short-Bicycle4657 · 2021-03-17T07:33:33+00:00

I partially agree. If you're not having fun, you'll quit very soon, but at the same time, if you don't have a method, you'll be going in blind, shooting in all directions and it will get frustrating very quickly.

j1ndujun · 2021-03-17T06:01:24+00:00

For me worked thinking about women in general. They are humans, too and nothing special. Just treat them as nice as your buddys, they wont bite ya just brcause you are talking to them. Nothing to be nervous about or over thoughtful. Like OP said, just have fun and treat them well like other humans and you'll be fine.

SandtheB · 2021-03-17T07:05:24+00:00

This is perfect!!!

One thing "game purists" swear by is that women's emotions are static and never changing, when that is NOT how humans work. it's like winning the lottery and then finding out your father died with in 5 minutes of each other; everybody does this women do it 10x MORE then men do.. So stop worrying about what her current feelings are.

LovingyoungD · 2021-03-17T02:59:09+00:00

Well said!

swagnake · 2021-03-17T03:43:00+00:00

Yeah i know when we interact in real life it feels really natural and we gain more than lose. But how to deal with the situation when we find out the girl we have been going out and flirting, actually is doing the same with another guy? I know we have not yet been in a relationship and she has the freedom to do that. But somehow it kinda upset me and takes away the relax/fun aspect of this connection. Anyone have some advice?

Novocaine53 · 2021-03-17T05:49:14+00:00

I wanted to say this but didn't want to offend anyone thx

TheMusicalGuy · 2021-03-17T09:57:01+00:00

It's not easy 😔 I have never been able to seduce or even touch or feel the love emotions.

PatrickBoston-123 · 2021-03-17T13:07:43+00:00

And just be yourself. I cringe so much when people plan out entire conversations. At most plan out your approach and from then on just stay present and respond the way the real you would

You can only be yourself on this planet. No one else if like you. You are completely unique. Embrace this

Thesinglemother · 2021-03-17T14:06:37+00:00

Some people, need that communication. Before they just find what works for them. But the end result should be having fun, relaxing and so on.

teriyaki7755 · 2021-03-17T16:07:17+00:00

Gamify it.

tehrealdirtydan · 2021-03-18T06:44:12+00:00

I'm smoother and funnier when I'm not thinking at all about what I'm doing.

mydadisadinosaur · 2021-03-18T18:20:29+00:00

Just be who you are , dont try to become who u aren't.

edbanger52 · 2021-03-19T07:20:56+00:00

That part

TyphoonSubLover · 2021-05-13T04:48:11+00:00

i'm going to guess, you are in your early 20s

Title	Just have fun and stop overthinking it
Author	MassiveBonerrr
Upvotes	512
Comments	60
Date	March 17, 2021 12:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/m6ngaj/just_have_fun_and_stop_overthinking_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-have-fun-and-stop-overthinking-it.1511203 https://theredarchive.com/post/1511203

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