Lost my virginity but couldn’t “finish”

Academic-Stop-2728 · 2021-12-06T06:12:19+00:00

I remember this happening to me as well. Stop watching porn, it affects you subconciously more than you think. Also when you meet her next time, be fap-free. Weed can be good, but be careful how much you use.

crownpoly · 2021-12-06T05:11:35+00:00

Could have been the edibles. Could also be from watching too much porn/masturbating too much. I was also late to the sex party when I lost my virginity at age 21. I also remember not really feeling anything when she went down on my and imagined that sex would feel a lot better. I just tried to play it off and say that it was the drinks. By the second and third time around, I didn’t really have a cop out. I could tell she was really getting frustrated, which sucked because I really liked her a lot. So anyways, I stopped masturbating and it made a whole lot of difference. I was staying a lot harder during sex. (We would probably go 3-4 days between seeing each other). I still had problems ‘finishing’ as my penis was still pretty insensitive from masturbating a lot. As we grew more comfortable together, I would ask her if I could play with myself a little bit (usually while I was doing something to her) and as I got to the point of no return, she could seal the deal. Once I finally finished, both her and I could sense the relief and I felt even more comfortable with her. This went on a couple more times before soon enough, she could make me finish w/o my help.

Couple additional pointers: Early on, I would use the gas station erection pills (extenze) that didn’t work. I got so frustrated that I went online and bought generic viagra off Amazon, did the trick but had a hell of a headache the next day.

Drinking sort of mellowed me out and calmed my nerves down before sex, I was new at this and kinda nervous but never drink too much.

Oh and btw, I think the reason why that girl still continued to keep it going with me despite being very disappointing the first couple of times is because I was a giver as well. Become good at loving a girls body and listen to her.

GL man.

dark_helmt8 · 2021-12-06T06:03:03+00:00

It's common for the first time. The only thing to do is flip the script and go down on the girl. The next time before you get together, be fap-free, make sure you read kama sutra, study your oral technique, and never mention it to anyone, especially her. If she asks what happened, tell that it's very common among men their first time and it's got nothing to do with her. Then bang her brains out

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-06T06:20:31+00:00

Stop jerking off to porn

surfershane25 · 2021-12-06T06:22:44+00:00

r/sex is the right subreddit for it, but from your other comments it sounds like Death Grip Syndrome where you squeeze so tightly that a vagina could never match the feeling. A few common suggestions are lube, no porn(imagination), taking breaks for a few days in between(so that it’s easier when you do maturbate/have sex) or at least a few days before you meet up with her, a sex toy like a head honcho or flesh light, and make sure she knows it’s not her, she likely is feeling self conscious, make sure you give her a ton of compliments and reassure her it’s not her it’s you but you want to work on it.

13esq · 2021-12-06T09:14:47+00:00

I've had this experience. If you're like me you have a double wammy of porn addiction (essential your brain is so wired to be turned on by porn, that even super hot real life women can't do it for you), combined with death grip (masturtbating to the point that your dick is losing sensitivity).

Stop watching porn and go fap free for a length of time that could be up to three months. This will be hard but will build up your level of horniness and your sensitivity.

It also helps to not focus too much on cumming, if you're with a woman that's good for you she won't care if you cum or not, it's more important to just have a good time. It'll take a few goes before you find out what works for you. If you go limp just have a good time focusing on her, oral, fingers, teasing etc.

Dorkuzan · 2021-12-06T12:47:21+00:00

Sounds like death grip syndrom - stop watching porn and masturbating and i think you will be fine. I read that if you have this syndrome you shoud abstain at least week or two and after month you shoud be like a new

amljc0 · 2021-12-06T11:34:39+00:00

Stop watching porn and reduce your masturbation

mehdi_jiwar · 2021-12-06T23:16:04+00:00

I think you r a porn addict that's why

Daniel_Himself · 2021-12-06T11:43:25+00:00

Experienced the exact same two days ago. Granted I wasn't romantically attracted to her, and not entirely sexually attracted either, but I'm certain that was only half the problem.

I've been struggling on and off with porn for half of my life, and having peeked two days prior must have had the biggest part of my 'issue'.

Will never watch porn again, finally had a real materialistic consequence of it handled right to my face.

She went over the moon from my 3rd base backup plan though, I'm hopeful it lessened the blow.

tl;dr

avoid any fake sexual stimuli at all cost (even from within your imagination), been struggling with it for 11+ years, but I'm done with it for good after that literal 'flop' in bed

Equivalent_Ad7389 · 2021-12-06T11:57:50+00:00

You don't have to finish for her to have a good time. Also, stop watching porn immediately will kill your sexual energy.

random_af_guy · 2021-12-07T05:13:34+00:00

I read the post after it got deleted, but as a friendly PSA, get your levels checked guys. This is not something to be ashamed about. The doctor can fix this. From my own experience, it changed my life outside of dating. Energy, focus, and overall health. This translates to your ability to socialize.

marcleehi · 2021-12-06T20:19:51+00:00

Death grip happens when a normal grip just won't get you off. Then you try and grip harder while masterbating.

awakened_celestial · 2021-12-06T05:55:04+00:00

Hey don’t worry it always happens the first few times. I didn’t finish three times in a row after losing mine. But after that your dick gets used to the feeling of being in the vagina or mouth snd it will cüm. Just give it a few tries.

ChoppedBelAir · 2021-12-06T07:17:38+00:00

Drugs and performance anxiety. Standard first time stuff. Can sometimes happen with a new partner

ComplexProjection · 2021-12-06T09:26:48+00:00

It's probably performance anxiety. Don't put pressure on yourself, just go there to have a good time and see what happens.

ea9ea · 2021-12-06T13:47:32+00:00

Sounds like a circulation problem. Start doing 50 air squats a day and some intense cardio for 30 minutes a day. Lots of stretching and drink water too.

deathray-toaster · 2021-12-06T11:53:29+00:00

I had the very same issue when I popped my cherry. Only I was “overindulging” in booze. Many redditors are saying stop jerking off to porn, so that’s what I’m gonna do too!

RinkyInky · 2021-12-06T12:37:42+00:00

It’s the weed, don’t worry.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-12-06T12:42:13+00:00

Very common with the first time... weed won't help either... just relax...scale back the depressants and have at it again... you will be FINE...

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-12-06T12:43:24+00:00

You won't finish every time and you won't stay hard every time, it's normal, especially if you're nervous or anxious about it, so don't worry about it!

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-12-06T13:54:28+00:00

You answered your own question. Porn.

Don’t jerk off for a week and half and see if you have trouble then.

wikipuff · 2021-12-06T16:00:20+00:00

You need this. Had a similar story my first time and she shoved a Champagne bottle up there and that helped so much.

Low_Fondant9911 · 2021-12-06T16:35:33+00:00

Obviously mitigate porn usage and did you ensure she finished? If not, you're probably done with that girl with what you described.

Jamesdoink · 2021-12-06T17:00:13+00:00

Well that sucks 😞

Mog_Melm · 2021-12-06T17:31:43+00:00

Everyone's first time is an embarrassing mess. Don't sweat it at all! Even after many years and much experience, not every encounter is going to be a masterpiece. If this proves a chronic issue, do consider taking a porn break.

Lost my virginity but couldn’t “finish”

Comments

Kama Sutra

Title	Lost my virginity but couldn’t “finish”
Author	Ma_1ik
Upvotes	115
Comments	59
Date	December 6, 2021 4:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r9yrf6/lost_my_virginity_but_couldnt_finish/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/lost-my-virginity-but-couldnt-finish.1271218 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271218