Missing the girl

Selecto_ · 2022-08-12T07:36:50+00:00

I'll leave you a comment that someone wrote in one of my posts here on r/seduction. I saved the comment because at the time I found it very helpful. Hope it helps you too:

"The first rule of pickup game is that you NEVER EVER invest emotionally more than the girl does.. This equation has to remain true during initial pickup, when you are dating, after you have sex.. even if you are married for 10yrs... If you ever have more feelings for the girl than she has for you at any stage.. then it is game over for you...and you will be in a world of hurt.

Speaking of investment, this applies to financial investment as well as your time. Every interaction should be seen as having a good time in and of itself, without their being an expectation of another Return on your investment... For example: If you take a girl out to dinner, it is because you want to have a good conversation with her while YOU are enjoying good food, and you feel good that you can provide a nice meal for her, and the two of you get to enjoy each other's company... it should NOT be seen as investment that you are then entitled to sleep with her, and if you don't, then you lost out on a restaurant bill.

There are many guys that invest their time and money for a long time hoping to get some return that they think that they are entitled to, and are butt hurt when they don't get it. You should act and behave in such a way that the relationship could end at ANY minute and if it does, then you are okay with that, and you will have a fond memory of the relationship up to that point..

It hurts because you built up a fantasy in your mind that you would sleep with her, have a future relationship together, and many fun times that all have now evaporated...

Rejection will stop hurting as much when you re-frame what the purpose of the rejection was. 1) You were SUPPOSED to get rejected because that particular girl was not right for you, i.e. it would not have worked out.. and better to be rejected now than later.. 2) You ultimately became a stronger person as a result, and learned many lessons. It was your purpose to get rejected so that you could learn these things.

Once you see dating as more fun and games, and less serious, which comes after many more experiences, you will see that asking a girl out is just like playing a video game. If you die in a video game and are sent back to the beginning of the level, do you feel rejected? Are you upset? No, you actually feel invigorated and even more determined to beat the level, and you have more confidence because you know how and why you died and have more experience on how to proceed on the level... asking a girl out should be thought of as the same way..."

classics109 · 2022-08-12T07:17:39+00:00

You're in my shoes. Problem is - you have caught oneitis and it is understandable. I couldn't get over my ex for over a year. Why? Because she was quality woman. Only thing that actually helped me was to find a better one, which i'm currently with. Sleeping around did not.

I know what you feel but you need to go on and find better girl, that's the only solution.

GhoulChaser · 2022-08-12T08:15:08+00:00

You just need to find a better one that compliments you more in general.

freespiritrec · 2022-08-12T08:36:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

zbononcini · 2022-08-12T06:53:02+00:00

Are you talking about ur ex or every girl u dated

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-08-12T14:36:38+00:00

Bro fuck your one-itis, drop some game on how you’re getting an 80% success rate

Weary_Horse5749 · 2022-08-12T08:03:51+00:00

Has been over 13 years, haven’t got over my ex.
I am 25 now

Successful_Teach366 · 2022-08-12T18:40:55+00:00

Lol everyone here is saying “that’s why you don’t invest feelings in the first place” and doesn’t help OP original situation.

To move on it takes some inner work. Write a letter to her and write down everything you feel about her and everything you want to say. THEN write a letter back to yourself from her perspective in everything you think she would say back to you.

Read it all and throw it away.

You deserve someone that wants you as bad as you want them and can see the greatness for who you are. It’s a horrible feeling chasing someone you’re in a relationship while being together. Feeling alone while together. Concentrate on what you want and write that down for yourself and only accept that and nothing less. That’s how I found my wife ;)

Greenwrench22 · 2022-08-12T11:16:46+00:00

Coach Cory Wayne …. YouTube

Lefanteriorascencion · 2022-08-12T13:52:39+00:00

Fuk dat bish

DoooshhBhagg · 2022-08-13T05:31:18+00:00

Witchcraft. Simple and plain.

fuzzyD_9 · 2022-08-12T15:54:16+00:00

probably trauma bond was she like your mum?

ZachMoore88 · 2022-08-12T21:20:31+00:00

Oneitis

JonFawkes3 · 2022-08-13T02:07:11+00:00

I haven’t dated in a bit, so I’m expecting some sort of change when I start again, but in my experience I have been a very emotional guy who gets easily emotionally attached and it is TUFF

samk002001 · 2022-08-13T03:31:45+00:00

That’s called infatuation! You need to pull yourself out of that spiral; otherwise, you gonna chase her off! You will start acting out of your emotions and eventually she will be repelled by you, being too needy and clingy! I’ve done that and I know!

Title	Missing the girl
Author	JenniSun
Upvotes	73
Comments	46
Date	August 12, 2022 6:49 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wmee24/missing_the_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/missing-the-girl.1252271 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252271

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