Every time an attractive man gives advice about how to succeed with women, some loser comes out of the woodwork and shrieks “Easy for you to say bro, you’re good looking. That doesn’t work for us ugly guys.”

My response to that? The losers are right. Women are not interested in unattractive men. If you are short, ugly, too skinny, too fat, have fucked up teeth, have a terrible haircut, smell bad, dress like shit, or fart a lot, you will have a disadvantage. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that every dude that has been beaten with an ugly stick can get supermodels. Every woman has a baseline level of attractiveness she wants in a guy, and if you do not meet that baseline, you are out of luck, at least with that girl.

That said, the “easy for you bro” objection is often motivated by an extremely dark and sad impulse to make excuses. The guys that say that game only works for attractive guys are usually looking for something I call “ugly guy” game – i.e., a set of secret tips and tricks that help ugly guys get women. And when they ask for ugly guy game, what they really want is an excuse to act beta. Whether or not they realize it, their thinking is this: “Good looking guys can be confident, dominant, and have boundaries around women. But if you’re ugly like me, then the only way you can get women is by buying them things, being their submissive little butler, and letting them treat you like shit.” In the subconscious brains of these guys, attractive guys are riding around in Ferraris, enjoying life, and bagging beautiful women, while ugly guys live underground in dark sewers and can only hope for the scraps from the hot guys.

No. No. A million times no.

There is no such thing as “ugly guy game.” The rules are the same for all men. The ugliest guy in the world and the hottest guy in the world must follow the some playbook to succeed with women – the only difference is that the attractive guy will have more success. That’s it. If an ugly guy acts weak, submissive, and like a pushover, he will only dig his hole deeper and become even more unattractive. If anything, ugly guys need better game than attractive men because they need to make up for the fact that they are ugly.

By the same token, there is no “hot girl game” either. The rules are the same no matter what kind of woman you are trying to get. The only difference between the kind of game you need to get ugly, mediocre, and attractive women is that attractive women have higher standards and there is less room for error.

Using the fact that you are ugly as an excuse to not learn game or to be a little bitch around women is a horrible trap to fall into, and unfortunately, lots of guys fall into it, either consciously or subconsciously. The truth is that women want a confident, dominant, positive man who has boundaries, protects his emotional experience, and lives life the way he wants, and women do not make exceptions to those rules just because you are ugly.

But there is an even deeper answer to the guys who say that game only works for attractive guys: Physical attractiveness is almost never the real problem. The problem is almost always mental. Guys often use their physical appearance as an excuse as to why they are terrible with women and why they refuse to learn game, but in over 10 years of coaching men in this space, I have literally never met a guy whose problem was that he was too ugly. Men frequently claim that the main thing holding them back is physical attractiveness, but it is almost always in their head.

You may not believe me, but unless you are morbidly obese or have some horrible deformity, you can become physically attractive enough to bag top tier women in less than 2 years. All you need to do is make a serious effort to eat well, go the gym, dress well, and take care of your personal hygiene. There are tons of “glow up” videos on the internet where guys that were fat, ugly sacks of shit completely turned it around and became 8s and 9s in a matter of months. The main reason men look ugly is their own neuroticism and mental issues: they dress like shit, they slouch and have terrible posture, they do not regularly go to the gym, etc.

For some guys, physical attractiveness becomes something like a mental illness where they fixate on one part of their body or face that they deem to be unattractive, and then blame all their problems on that one feature. The craziest example of this that I have a seen was when a guy that was 6’1”, athletic, muscular, and good-looking told me that he could never succeed with women because of the shape of his nose. According to this guy, the only thing that women care about is the shape of a man’s nose, and because he had the wrong nose, he was fucked. To most people, this guy would sound like a mental patient, but while this guy was an extreme outlier, this kind of thinking is common.  

The problem is not being ugly. The problem is that your game sucks and you have feelings of inferiority. And to be honest, that is a lot harder of a problem to solve.

Mens’ sexual desire is motivated almost completely by looks, so men often assume that womens’ sexual desires is also motivated mostly by looks. But that is wrong. Looks matter to women, but they matter much less to women than they do men. Looks also matter in a different way to women. Women do not want a man with big tits, a juicy ass, or a pretty face – to a woman, a “good looking guy” is tall, athletic, somewhat muscular, and who carries himself with confidence and like he cannot be fucked with.