~ archived since 2018 ~

RSD: Wake Up For Hardcase Newbies: What To Do If You're Depressed, Overly Passive, And Socially Weird

[deleted]

July 14, 2012

136 upvotes

/r/seduction

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcrhwatDkUM&feature=youtube_gdata

Archived from /r/seduction

r/seduction is a subreddit for dating help, with focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill subreddits and blogs. This page is our copy of the original post.

/r/seduction archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Post Information

Title	RSD: Wake Up For Hardcase Newbies: What To Do If You're Depressed, Overly Passive, And Socially Weird
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	136
Comments	45
Date	July 14, 2012 8:32 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wjkn5/rsd_wake_up_for_hardcase_newbies_what_to_do_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/rsd-wake-up-for-hardcase-newbies-what-to-do-if.1301622 https://theredarchive.com/post/1301622

Comments

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]kagayaki 5 points6 points7 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nergal2 points 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]rebuildingMyself 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SigniorGratiano 7 points8 points9 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]huyvanbin 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]grantmoore3d 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]falousco 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]arienh4 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ImDavegrohl 16 points17 points18 points 14 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]kagayaki 8 points9 points10 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]MrChunkz 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]kagayaki 4 points5 points6 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

How's that going for you?

That's actually kinda hard to answer honestly. Only turned 30 about 6 months ago it didn't really happen that long ago. I could go on forever out my issues, but meh they aren't that interesting anyway.

I suppose most of the reason I responded to the post was because he mentioned jacking off and video games, which were both basically the way I passed the time back in the day.. how I avoided life without getting bored. I did eventually get bored of video games once I started losing weight and being more active about a year ago, but I've really only recently gotten my fap habit under control. Heh, honestly, trying to quit your fap habit is not that much different than trying to stop overeating.

It's just really odd looking back at things how little control I felt I had even over things such as my weight, and how easy changes can be to make once you put in a little work toward it. Granted, beyond losing nearly 100 lbs over the course of a year, I don't have much in the way of tangible results, but I do feel like I'm able to follow through with things a lot more consistently than I was in the past.

How's that for a non-answer? ;)

TLDR; Good.

I'm about to hit my mid 30's, and have identified a couple of hugely important things that I want to address, that have been issues in my life since.... puberty or earlier.

I'm kind of the same. I tell people that I'm not interested in having a "significant other" until I feel as though I'm happy on my own. Granted, I'm not unhappy and I know from the little time I've spent here (and reading meditation books) that real happiness comes from within rather than external stimuli. Still, I'm not done working on "me" let alone trying to work on "us." That, and I need boring stuff like a car to actually get to places to meet people here.

[–]MrChunkz 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OccupyAllTheNames 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ImDavegrohl 15 points16 points17 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]throwaway3950 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]AlwaysLeaveANote 13 points14 points15 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]my_man_krishna 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]LeSpatula -7 points-6 points-5 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]thesprunk9 points 14 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeSpatula -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]thesprunk10 points 14 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Because a depression is a serious illness, caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

True, but the line of thinking that social/environmental/behavorial factors cannot be the root cause of this, and that medication is the answer is very dangerous thinking. Medication can help, and at times is indeed the answer (along with therapy).

But therapy is the key part, and self improvement IS therapy. It is in fact the most effective therapy there is, and is essentially the whole point of therapy, is it not? And chemical imbalances in the brain can largely be rebalanced via good (or perhaps special, depends on the needs of the person) diets, hygiene, exercise, and social interactions and behavorial reinforcement, which is to say, many core elements of what PUA teaches you. Neuroscientists are doing a lot of research on how the food we eat effects the levels of various chemicals and hormones and the overall (im)balance thereof on our brain and bodies. Check out Radiolab's Guts podcast for more info there (there's plenty of other sources as well if you google it, but radiolab is amazing). Theres tons of established science on the benefits of exercise and hygiene, and that all of this, including social interactions and daily life habits have a very defined effect on the chemical and hormonal balance sheet of your body.

You have a social momentum. You have social inertia. PUA and therapy in general is about building that momentum so that you can get up and do things, see things, experience things. Everytime you tell yourself "no, I shouldn't/can't/won't" you notch down your momentum. You do this enough, and it starts to have profound and overt negative impacts on your life, up to and including physical and mental health detriments that are very real, just as how not caving to those ideas, and building that momentum with whatever positive reinforcement benefits you, can have a very real positive impact on you.

I realize this is a PUA subreddit, but at it's core, Seduction teaches you how to be a better man, and a better person, and to do it by diving into yourself, finding better understanding, and a developing a drive to explore and enjoy life. There is no medication out there this powerful, although for some, it is indeed a very helping factor.

PS: Not knocking meds, but the "there's something wrong with you, take a pill" mentallity is infuriating to me. Depression is a very serious thing, but treating it like the flu is absurd, and that it is something beyond your control, like an infection, is infact quite innaccurate, and entirely the wrong way to approach it, even if indeed there is a physical cause that needs tangible treatment of some kind.

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But therapy is the key part, and self improvement IS therapy.

Yep. I've been to a therapist before, and if most of em are anything like how mine was, they're basically gonna try to get you to think differently about things, so that you can go out and start improving shit on your own. They don't just mindfuck you into thinking differently. They just try to get the wheels turning.

And in regard to what the other guy said, he's basically right that clinical depression (as diagnosed by somebody with actual credentials) can -- and often should -- be treated with anti-depressants. But far too often (especially on reddit) people like to self-diagnose. Especially in r/foreveralone. They'll say "No, you don't understand, I'm depressed." And I'll say "Okay, here's some ways you can work on that." And they're like "No I can't do those things because I'm introverted." And I'm like "Alright, here's some things you can do to help with that." And they say "No no, because I'm also really shy." And I'm like "Okayyy, here's how you can deal with that." And they're like "Well I'm also really insecure." It's like "No shit dude -- you're insecure and shy, which means you don't make friends easily and haven't been in many relationships. That's depressing."

It's like dude, you're "depressed" because you've been shy your whole life and it's led to some negative shit for you. You're "introverted" because you have very few friends and you haven't gone to many social gatherings in your life. That initial shyness (and maybe unattractiveness, maybe weight issues, maybe some bad experiences early in life) is the whole reason you're "depressed" right now in the first place. The worst is when they come back with "Well I'm a foreveralone and I've accepted it, so I'm happy." It's like "Well no, you're clearly not happy because you're spending your time on this subreddit that's dedicated to lamenting the fact that you're foreveralone."

[Not to mention, anti-depressants are prescribed just as liberally as ADHD meds, and many people on those medicines don't necessarily need them. Depression's been studied a lot, but it's a really complicated thing. IMO, you can't just check some boxes on a list of symptoms and be like "Yep, clinical depression."]

[–]squarehouse 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WonLife 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huyvanbin 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ANotherDREW 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]JimmyNic 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bunabayashi 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Venage 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Venage 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]gregantic 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]svifur2 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]destinys_parent 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SupALupRT 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]IAmTheOmNom -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link