Should it be this hard?

-Cachi- · 2021-08-31T22:39:17+00:00

I think you're doing it right! Don't try to rush anything, just keep building intimacy with her and spending time together.

Once you feel that she is invested, and both of you are comfortable with each other you can bring up the relationship topic.

skatinislife446 · 2021-08-31T23:41:27+00:00

Initiate to hangout. You only want to keep communicating with her over text because you’re being needy, even though you’re succeeding otherwise.

If you keep it light, have fun, have good sex, and she still hasn’t warmed up after 3 months, or communicated in some form she likes you more than a fling, she probably never will. 3 months is typically when people’s facade they put on, or their best selves, begins to fade. Can’t remember where I read this but I’ve found it a good threshold for judging whether a woman is actually into me. Most have shown they are before then.

MalibuProducer77 · 2021-09-01T00:06:51+00:00

Lemme tell you the truth. And listen carefully. You acting how you are, right now, is what's getting you laid. Seems like you guys are in a fwb vibe for now. Honestly in my deep opinion, if she wanted something more, she would be acting like it/talking to you about it. Just because you have a crush on her, does not mean she has a crush on you. For all you know, you could be the rebound guy, 2nd option because her first is with another girl etc. So I say just have fun for now, AND FIND A GIRLFRIEND AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU WANT! She may not want to be YOUR girlfriend though. Like they say, don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife lol. But in your case, don't let your FWB stop you from finding a relationship! Please OP, don't sit around and wait for her. Let her come to you. Keep going, keep talking to other attractive girls, don't force shit, and have fun. Because I'm telling you, as soon as a guy comes with that needy, lovey dovey shit, 90% of the time they will RUN. You acting like you don't care either way is what makes them stick around. And THEN, down the line, maybe months later, they will likely want more with you, because "you don't care" so they wanna "change you" now haha. If you get what I'm saying. Now go and find your real girlfriend while smashing your crush to keep your options OPEN!

Stujitsu2 · 2021-08-31T23:39:16+00:00

You shouldnt. What your doing is whats getting you laid. Women are like cats. After a couple months she may hint at being exclusive

Joel504 · 2021-09-01T03:47:55+00:00

Bro, just fuck her brains out and make her crazy for u. Fastest way to a girls heart is by making her cum multiple times during sex, do that and she’ll never forget about u.

EgoistEagle · 2021-08-31T21:57:10+00:00

Fuck her more intensely, and dissolve that crushy feeling.

ProfundaBrachii · 2021-08-31T22:49:31+00:00

She is defo attracted to you and is sending you pictures which is a great sign.

What I suggest is, give it time. After another one/two session of hanging out, ask her where this is going and what she wants from it. Communication is key.

Don’t push her with texts and stuff, patience is important and don’t come on too needy, girls don’t like that. Match her energy with texts. If she texts/replies late, reply late. But also start convos with her too, show that you interested, but if it feels like you begging drop the convo. Idk if ygm.

But be prepared, she could just want an FWB. If that’s what she says, take what you get, try not to get attached (I know this hard esp since she a crush), talk to other girls and work on yourself by going gym etc.

Honestly the effort you put into yourself is more important than the effort you into her. At the end of the day, you only have you and you the only person that’s gonna be there for you. You are priority, she is just someone who is joining you on your journey.

Good luck OP!

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-08-31T21:48:53+00:00

Nah. Leave it as it is. You’re most likely a rebound or plan B here.

your_moms_ankes · 2021-08-31T21:37:18+00:00

It’s the classic situation in every movie: TALK TO HER

gangweedsavedme · 2021-09-01T02:10:58+00:00

It sounds like she only wants sex, it’s your move if you want to continue because catching feelings will certainly push her away.

chriipping · 2021-09-01T06:06:21+00:00

I mean, your best bet would probably just continue on and see if it develops naturally. Invite her out to do stuff. If shes too uncomfortable to watch a movie or eat with you after you bang idk what to say, thats uncharted territory for me.

SDdude81 · 2021-09-01T12:29:13+00:00

Had sex and you're complaining about it being hard?

People will whine about anything.

Training_Passenger79 · 2021-09-01T13:33:45+00:00

Text her. Not doing so will push her away at best and at worst it will make her resent you because she’s giving you sex and you’re being a crap friend.

You don’t have to text much, but when she reaches out to you - at least give her ten minutes of your time.

She’s even sending you sexy pictures. She’s slept with you. She obviously likes you.

Enough times of trying to reach out to you and getting disappointed because she gets excited at the idea that you’re going to talk to her, and then you repeatedly turn her down - the feelings she feels for you are going to have to change for the sake of protecting herself. Either she’s going to get cold and distant, or she’s going to start feeling bitter and mistrusting you. She’ll probably ask her friends what’s up, and they’ll tell her she’s an idiot for having trusted you from the start and say you’re probably some red-pill freak. And she will believe them - because your behavior screams manipulation and you’ve done nothing to demonstrate that this isn’t true.

So if you’re not that kind of guy and you’re genuinely a nice dude that really likes her - please text her and talk to her. Hang out with her and be yourself. That could be your future wife one day. Who knows? Don’t be a dick.

M1K3Y_2030 · 2021-09-01T14:24:57+00:00

The best way to stop thinking too much about a single girl is to talk to and hang out with multiple girls

Neil1398 · 2021-09-01T15:29:50+00:00

Sounds like a booty call fwb type shit. I’d just keep it where it’s at for a bit. Let her bring up her wanting more which she will eventually if she likes you.

I had a situation like this, and eventually the girl wanted to hang out with me and go to concerts. But it never really came to fruition mainly because I wanted to just keep it at sex.

GordonGecko69 · 2021-09-01T03:39:33+00:00

Seriously? Every time a girl gives a dude no strings attached pu@&y he starts acting like the clingy girl. She doesn’t want you. She wants your d”&k. You are exciting and naughty. Enjoy it. Don’t fuck it up with the “where is this going” talk. That’s fucking lame. It’s probably going nowhere.

brokenhbutnotbroken · 2021-09-01T02:19:44+00:00

That’s what she said

rordog28 · 2021-09-01T03:49:11+00:00

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2021-09-01T04:01:50+00:00

Do other stuff with her. Invite her over to your place and cook something together. Go on a hike. Get drunk together. Have fun. You´ll realize soon if there´s more to it than just sex.

rordog28 · 2021-09-01T07:36:14+00:00

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rordog28 · 2021-09-01T07:38:17+00:00

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eggShellBruv · 2021-09-01T10:04:38+00:00

It should not be hard at all, she just wants sex, just ride the wave out man.

dickertony · 2021-09-01T10:27:10+00:00

Hmm been in that situation as well twice. First I followed "my heart" and just tried too hard. Don't do that. I think what the others said about texting once a week for sex is a little over the top as well. If it fits, of course you can meet more often, after all sex is fun dude. But whatever you do, don't change plans for her, keep reminding yourself, that she is not your girlfriend, just a hot girl you're having sex with. That's all it is and that's good. But also, if you come to the realisation that it is not enough, then don't be to big to step away from it, I've seen guys (unwillingly) stick in that zone of wanting more for some time and they usually get real sad. So whatever you keep on doing, do it at your terms.

HellsCandy · 2021-09-01T10:50:24+00:00

As a girl (hey), sometimes we hide our feelings during hookups and what not. Honestly, (even though this might sound toxic) just walk away for a bit and see how she reacts. Sometimes its better to realize what you had when you lost it and it might reveal some feelings she had for you. Plus, girls have to have some sort of feelings for the other person in order to fuck them if that makes you feel better.

michelle961 · 2021-09-01T11:08:39+00:00

Of course You initiate a meet up every week. If you are not screwing her, someone else will.

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2021-09-01T12:47:13+00:00

discovering about ones neediness goes like this. first you are like "i feel needy emotions they re almost too hard to resist" then you are like "i dont feel any longing for anyone anymore" and then you close the circle by thinking "lets give her some more of my time and attention i think she deserves it"

throwawayobvi82 · 2021-09-01T18:55:44+00:00

hangout after sex

quantumactual · 2021-09-01T20:38:53+00:00

Enjoy it for what it is. If you can’t, open up about how you feel about her, and get declined. Remove your feelings for her - find a woman who actually wants to be with you.

Title	Should it be this hard?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	82
Comments	95
Date	August 31, 2021 9:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pffbk9/should_it_be_this_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-it-be-this-hard.1277118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277118

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