Hi guys.

This morning a sexy black girl I messaged briefly with on OKCupid a month ago randomly hit me up. I've copied the text transcript for you guys. It's an excellent real world example of how and why you need to be paying attention to calibration. My notes are in bold:

HB-Random: I just accidentally called you. Haha 9:46 AM

HB-Random: You gave me your number to text via okcupid a while back. 9:47 AM

Me: Heh. Who is this? 9:47 AM

HB-Random: My name is REDACTED. My okcupid name is REDACTED. 9:49 AM

Me: Oh hi. Me and you should get together and bang. 9:51 AM

Clearly she didn't just accidentally call and then text me. She remembered something she liked and reached out. Girls do this when they are horny/lonely/looking for a man. This is a humongous IOI that I pounced all over with: "Oh hi. Me and you should get together and bang." I don't like to waste time with unknown girls from online dating sites so I'm screening to see if she's open to a quick hookup.

HB-Random: Haha. Maybe. We know nothing about one another yet. 9:52 AM

HB-Random: I could be an ax murderer. 9:52 AM

Me: Cool. I have an ax murderer fetish. 9:54 AM

The fact she messaged me back at all means she is still interested in a hookup. This means I just need to pass her shit tests. I do this with a combination of humor and push/pull. I give her a little bit of info to appease her desire to know me better but I don't bite at the biggest shit tests.

HB-Random: That's a very specific fetish. What's your name? 9:54 AM

Me: TofuTofu. Yeah I don't meet a lot of ax murderers. Mostly just conjugal visits. 9:56 AM

Like here. I give her my name. No need to be an idiot and try to be too coy. That would be miscalibration.

HB-Random: Haha! What do you do? Are you looking to just make friends for tea parties? 9:56 AM

Me: Heh I'm a businessman. I'm looking for fun people and hot sex mostly. If more comes out of that then even better :-) 9:58 AM

I'm purposely vague yet honest with my intentions. I keep the conversation directed towards sex.

HB-Random: Haha! What kind of business? What is your type? I don't put out often because my skills are too good just to give them up. 10:01 AM

Me: REDACTED 10:03 AM

Here I gave her one sentence about some work I've been involved in. Then I immediately bring the conversation back to sex:

Me: As for my type, I love girls who won't just let me dominate them up front but love rough sex when the lights go out ;) 10:04 AM

All girls take pride in "not giving it up so easily." I throw her a bone with the "I love girls who won't just let me dominate them up front" line but keep the conversation very sexual. Almost all girls prefer dominant guys, so I use that word and "rough sex" to get her panties moist.

HB-Random: Ah. Who doesn't like being fucked? Awesome about your companies. I'm a blogger/personality/dancer. 10:07 AM

Me: Nice. I respect your hustle. So me and you should totally have kinky sex and then make pancakes. 10:08 AM

I included the pancakes line because it's a funny non-sequitor and it sets me up with a wonderful response to the impending shit test. YOU WILL BE SHIT TESTED WHEN YOU TELL A GIRL YOU WANT TO FUCK HER. ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR IT!

HB-Random: Um. 10:15 AM

HB-Random: Haha 10:15 AM

HB-Random: I don't know you. 10:15 AM

HB-Random: But maybe after a few conversations and some food. Haha 10:15 AM

Me: That's why we make the pancakes together. Its a team building exercise. 10:20 AM

And there's the response I set up for the shit test.

HB-Random: May I ask how many people are you currently making pancakes for? 10:20 AM

And now we have our own little code word for sex. Always try to create little in-jokes and references if you can. It helps a woman feel closer to a man. Almost all couples have these.

Also notice that I completely ignore her shit test question about how many girls I'm sleeping with.

HB-Random: Ah. Is that how that works? 10:21 AM

Me: You're feisty. I bet you're a freak. 10:23 AM

I change the topic and bring it back to sex while throwing her a compliment. It's all about push/pull.

HB-Random: For the right person. 10:24 AM

Me: Let's find out then. What're you doing this afternoon? 10:25 AM

And here is the part where I escalate the conversation towards a physical meetup. ALWAYS BE MOVING TOWARDS YOUR GOAL. KEEP THE SET ADVANCING!

HB-Random: Being snowed in and working on stuff. You didn't answer my pancake question. Haha 10:30 AM

Me: I'm trying to cut carbs ;) 10:32 AM

This was a meaningless joke meant to ignore her repeated shit test.

HB-Random: So does that mean you're not making pancakes for anyone else? 10:33 AM

Me: It means I'm free to date whoever I want. 10:35 AM

OK, she's very persistent on this so I just answer her truthfully.

Me: So how about we hang out and get to know each other. Maybe if I'm lucky I can get to over the shirt second base. Deal? :) 10:36 AM

I use the "over the shirt second base" line a lot. It's cute and funny and girls respond well to it. If they're not open to immediate physical contact they will either get offended or stop replying. This helps me screen out girls who want to spend a lot of time before sex. Ain't no one got time for that. (As always, make your own boundaries. For me, I value fast sexual escalation. I really don't like going on a bunch of dates before touching the vagina. You might be different and there's nothing wrong with that.)

HB-Random: Haha! Hmmmm! Interesting answer. Well we can get to know one another and see what happens. I do burlesque so I'm all about the tease. 10:37 AM

I'll translate this for you. When a girl says she will "see what happens" that almost always means she wants to have sex with you. It's just up to you to be congruent with all her high expectations.

Me: Haha oh nice I love a nice set of pasties. 10:38 AM

I make a quick joke alluding to her breasts. It shows my knowledge of burlesque which will help her develop some comfort and rapport towards me. This will make her more comfortable sleeping with me.

HB-Random: Hahaha! 10:38 AM

When a girl overly laughs at one of your shitty jokes, it means she's way attracted. I take this as another big IOI.

HB-Random: So why are you interested in meeting me so soon? 10:39 AM

Me: Cause even though this conversation has been fun and stimulating, I prefer to look someone in the eyes when I flirt ;) 10:40 AM

I give her a nice sexy answer to her latest shit test. She's probably not used to guys trying to escalate as quickly as me. It's a solid answer meant to turn her on even more.

HB-Random: I prefer for people to look me in the eyes for a lot of things but honestly I had a lot of shit okcupid experiences so I like to talk a little before hand. 10:42 AM

Me: Ah I hear you. I've met my share of psycho chicks. 10:43 AM

Here she is honest with me so I acknowledge it and tell her I've gone through the same experience. No games here, just letting her know that I know the deal.

HB-Random: But maybe I can phone you this afternoon. :) 10:45 AM

Me: Sure. Text me later when you want to talk. 10:46 AM

HB-Random: Okay love. Xxxo 10:47 AM

And now she will call me later, I'll prove my congruence and make her more comfortable meeting up. I've done this enough times to feel 99% certain this will end in wonderful sex and possibly more.

And that's how you manage a cold conversation. Always pay attention to calibration. Try to feel when she is shit testing you, when she is open to escalation (by reading her IOIs appropriately), and when you need to spend more time building a solid rapport.