The 20 Rules For First Dates

Cigele · 2013-02-18T18:24:16+00:00

This is dumb.

Avoid saying anything unless it’s a quick DHV or a question.

Never discuss any of your past relationships or sexual experiences.

Be sexual. Talk about sex. Get her to talk about sex.

Avoid spending more than 15 dollars. Zero dollars is optimal. Spending money is for women you’re already having sex with, not first dates.

Pay the tab.

I'm not the only one who saw inconsistencies right?

sayn · 2013-02-18T20:13:26+00:00

Pardon my french, but this fucking stupid. If outcome-independence is one of the rules (number 9, I might add), then do what you want as long as it's congruent and it's moving you forward. How are you supposed to have fun on a first date if you're going through the 20 rule checklist in your head??

BenSpranklin · 2013-02-18T20:28:02+00:00

This is a terrible article. The best advice for going on a date is to KEEP going on dates, you will get better at it, find out what works for you, and you will never take anything like this seriously.

D_Real99 · 2013-02-18T20:25:19+00:00

This is the dumbest thing I've read in awhile.

BruceMode · 2013-02-18T20:35:09+00:00

This post is terrible. I really hope it didn't take a long time or much effort.

OtherMikeP · 2013-02-18T20:35:09+00:00

How are you going to make her laugh if you're not saying anything?

SenorSpicyBeans · 2013-02-18T20:54:02+00:00

Some of these are good.

Some of these are really, really bad.

RandianHero · 2013-02-18T18:55:33+00:00

Never compliment her appearance. Even if she asks.

I tend not to follow this one because historically, complimenting a chick on her appearance has only helped matters. But I usually stick to compliments about things I don't give a shit about that girls fixate on (eyebrows, shoes, hair, etc.). Casual compliments don't hurt you if they don't seem like you're approval-seeking. If done right, they just make you seem observant and they set you apart from other guys.

Avoid saying anything unless it’s a quick DHV or a question.

This is smart in general. Don't talk too much, but if you're going to say anything, be funny or fascinating.

Let her do most of the talking. Shut up.

Women will usually do this anyway, so this shouldn't be a problem for most men. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to make funny observations about what she's saying, and that adds to banter.

Avoid “job interview” questions. (“What do you do for a living?”, “What are your kids / parents like?”, “What do you like to do for fun?”) If you absolutely must ask some, keep them infrequent and spread them out over the entire conversation.

Definitely agree. She'll ask enough of these for the both of you, so I pretty much avoid them altogether.

Never lie. Avoid directly answering questions if you must, but don’t state untruths.

This is generally good advice, but always remember that omission is not lying. Giving vague, open-ended answers makes you look interesting, and it opens the door for further conversations. People are like mushrooms: feed them shit and keep them in the dark.

Never discuss any of your past relationships or sexual experiences. If she directly asks, give her two or three generic sentences then re-direct back to her with a question. Getting her to discuss her past relationships or sexual experiences is not only okay, but a really good idea.

I usually avoid the nitty-gritty details about my past until we've already slept together. And even then, I still prefer to be vague and open-ended.

Make sure she laughs, even lightly, at least once every few minutes.

Laughter is your indicator for how good a time she's having. If she's not laughing, you're failing. Keep the laughs frequent. Bonus points if she has to dab her eye makeup from laughing so hard.

Relax and lean back.

This should be your default posture anyway.

Never give a shit about how a date will end up, or even if you ever see her again. (Outcome Independence.)

Remember: you're there to have fun above all else. If you get laid afterwards, awesome. But dating is all about having a good time while getting to know someone.

Never kiss a woman on a first date unless it’s VERY obvious you’re going to quickly be having sex on the first date. Touch her sensually, but do not kiss.

This one I disagree with, since I don't put any restrictions on when it's okay to kiss a girl. Feel it out. If it feels right, go for it. If not, keep it in reserve. Some girls you'll want to draw out the pleasure a bit and seduce them a while. Others, you'll want to kiss them right away. Keep it loose.

Avoid spending more than 15 dollars. Zero dollars is optimal. Spending money is for women you’re already having sex with, not first dates. (Note: Women over age 33 will hate this rule and take great offense to it.)

I don't follow this one, since paying is just how I roll. Generosity is the ultimate sign of authority, and I make enough money where I don't need to be cheap.

Maintain good eye contact.

You should be doing this by default with everyone.

Smile. Never try to act “cool”. Act relaxed instead.

Relaxed is cool. Never forget that.

Have two interesting, funny, DHV-filled stories from your life memorized and ready to deliver in case she’s not a talker.

You'll develop a decent back log of stories after a while. The trick is to live an interesting life outside of dating so your anecdotes have some punch to them.

Touch her often. Touch her hands, arms, upper back, and if you can get away with it (and usually you can if you’re doing things right), her thighs, hair, jewelry, and face. Remember, don’t kiss her unless it’s very obvious she’s down for sex right now.

Agreed, except for the kissing part. Do that whenever it feels natural to you.

Be sexual. Talk about sex. Get her to talk about sex.

This is usually what most conversations gravitate towards after a while anyway, so you shouldn't have a problem with this one.

Ignore all the advice you’ve ever heard about “negging”. Issuing “negs” is only helpful if she’s unusually hot, like a 10 or a high 9. Teasing and sarcasm are perfectly okay.

Negging is stupid. Girls expect it now, and you'll immediately identify yourself as "one of those PUA losers" if you talk about lint on her shirt. Playful teasing is just a symptom of you being relaxed; it'll come naturally, so don't go out of your way to do it.

Arrive five minutes after she does.

This is a stupid rule. Show up on time.

Dress well.

But don't "peacock" or whatever the term is. You'll look ridiculous. Don't wear those stupid snapback hats or skinny jeans with the bottoms cuffed up so we can all see your ankles. Have some fucking self-respect and dress like humans dress.

Pay the tab. Remember, you’re only spending 15 dollars at most so who cares? Even if she goes for her wallet, tell her to put it away and pay the entire bill yourself. Only let her pay if she insists after you do this.

Like I mentioned earlier, I do this by default. Paying is exercising your authority. It's what a man does.

carooster · 2013-02-18T18:29:52+00:00

Why would you never compliment her appearance? Not even a quick, "you look nice"?

Iotatl · 2013-02-18T23:51:23+00:00

ONE AND ONLY RULE.... RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF AND YOUR COMPANY

...I swear... people over complicate this shit...

ImBloodyAnnoyed · 2013-02-18T20:51:01+00:00

Eh, that blogger is a loser and sellout. Ignore.

jasie3k · 2013-02-18T20:48:30+00:00

Could you elaborate the not kissing on the first date thing? Why should I avoid this?

Benjamminmiller · 2013-02-18T21:11:22+00:00

Some of the worst advice I've ever...

groovemonkey · 2013-02-18T22:30:10+00:00

this guy has never actually been on a first date. And if he has, there's no way there was a second date

2013-02-18T22:56:03+00:00

As a girl, I can say half of these rules are stupid. Girls LIKE it when you compliment their appearance. And if someone tried feeling me up before even kissing me, I'd be pissed. And if they redirected all my questions and acted like they could care less, then fuck them.

3methylxanthine · 2013-02-18T19:50:50+00:00

Arrive 5 minutes LATE? LOL

Don't KISS on the first date? What happened to your balls?

BrindleKindle · 2013-02-19T01:13:16+00:00

Ya this is straight up retarded lol. Topic comment says it all! Well done top commenter.

Ulintlicker · 2013-02-19T02:57:04+00:00

Downvote this shit to oblivion

TheIslander829 · 2013-02-18T18:33:05+00:00

The thing about "dates" is that they take too long to get you laid.

If you invite the girl to hang out with you and accompany you to whatever it is you were gonna do anyway, your chances are greatly increased.

Just go out, have 2 or 3 drinks, then back to your place for an "after party". Once at your place it's smooth sailing from there. You're not lying. An after party can be anything, and you never said it'd just be the two of you.

RedShirtedAss · 2013-02-18T19:06:08+00:00

20 guidelines for first dates would have been a better article. Rules are dumb. The only "rule" I could really think of is "relax and have fun". Anything else is fair game.

what_am_idoing · 2013-02-18T21:51:38+00:00

why no complementing on looks? i mean obviously its raunchy to tell a girl she looks smokin'. but saying they look pretty tonight is nice, right?

wanking_the_monkey · 2013-02-19T01:49:17+00:00

Another shit article finds itself on Seddit.

Apparently only women of exactly 33 years of age or more will take great offense to you not spending more than $15 on them.

kingcal · 2013-02-19T03:51:42+00:00

Never kiss a woman on a first date unless it’s VERY obvious you’re going to quickly be having sex on the first date. Touch her sensually, but do not kiss.

wat

s4RiN · 2013-02-19T11:17:49+00:00

How you said about not to kiss on the first date unless you're having sex... what if the girl is a virgin but still it looks like she deserves the kiss at the end of the date?

SUPERMENSAorg · 2013-02-19T15:55:41+00:00

"6. Never discuss any of your past relationships or sexual experiences."

I have a date with a girl whom I've had sex with / briefly dated her (best?) friend, albeit it was 3 years ago. If she asks how I know her (mutual friends on Facebook), how do I respond?

insomnia125 · 2013-02-18T19:33:48+00:00

I find that it's dumb that you can't compliment a females appearance. I don't give a crap how times have changed etc etc. I'm going to compliment them.

If a female takes offense to being complemented only once, shes not the lady for me.

sirscribblez87 · 2013-02-18T23:10:03+00:00

Rule #11...

Title	The 20 Rules For First Dates
Author	TheOnlyBlackdragon
Upvotes	24
Comments	54
Date	February 18, 2013 4:52 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/18rald/the_20_rules_for_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-20-rules-for-first-dates.1347612 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347612

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