Too old for cold approach?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-11-30T00:25:39+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

VirtualOutsideTravel · 2024-11-29T08:10:41+00:00

Hey im in the same situation, late 40s, minus the broke though. Lately when i cold approached a 20 something, sometimes i get shut down because im too old. In fact one of them complained, however if i do this with someone a bit older, im still good, so 30s or 40s is the target age. Good luck, however online works much better.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-11-29T11:30:39+00:00

You know the infamous “creepy old dude” stereotype comes from older dudes who say hi then right away gives a woman compliments and ask for her number. Don’t be like them.

Here are some tips that may come handy for you:

When people go shopping, you go shopping too. For real. Don’t wander around without anything in your hand. Really go shopping. Push a cart with some merchandises in it, have some bags in your hand if you’re in a mall. You walk around without anything in your hand just gives the “soliciting” vibe; that you’re trying to sell something. I call this a prop. Always have a prop. It’s also useful when you’re nervous/overwhelmed so you can have something to squeeze or hold on to when you talk to her. You’re a customer just like her. And like her, you don’t have a different, hidden agenda when you go there. You and her are on the same side.
Do you remember whenever you’re in public and you meet people you know, like your friends or your coworkers? Remember that feeling/vibe. You’re just relaxed, exchanging some infos, updates, having a small talk and doing some playful banter. You don’t purposely walk around to find them. You just bump into them. You and them just happen to be in the same place. Now kinda create the same momentum and vibe with a random woman. You don’t walk around looking for a hot chick. You just “happen to be there”, you bump into her.
Read the room, especially if you’re just a beginner. You don’t approach someone who’s busy (talking on the phone, with their kid, or in a hurry). No matter how cute they are, skip them.
Initiate the conversation by commenting some common ground you have with her. If she wears a pair of nike shoes, comment on them. If you see her reaching a product off the rack, tell her you also use the same one or you used to work for the company. (it’s better if you know a bit more about the brand). So instead of focusing on her that could make her suspicious or nervous - remember, you’re a stranger - you focus on something that could be a bridge between you two.
Again, read the room. If she’s enthusiastic or matches your energy then good, let her talk more. In my experience getting her name or number is not even a goal anymore. Even when she talks I just interrupt her real quick by saying “wait I forgot to introduce my name. I’m Andy, what’s your name?” Then offer your hand to shake hers. 99% of the time she will tell you her name. Then go back to the conversation. So it’s not about her, it’s about having a good conversation with her. Her name and number will just be part of the small talks. Remember, you don’t focus on them because you just “bumped into her.” The vibe or the atmosphere should be relaxing, like the atmosphere you have when you see an old friend I mentioned earlier.
After exchanging names, see if her reaction is different or getting better. Most people do react better after name introduction. Why? Because it’s slightly better than “you’re a stranger.” She now knows your name and you know hers. You can use this momentum to explore if you could escalate. It’s different from being pushy. Escalation is useful after she reciprocates. Being pushy is when you don’t read the room or not aware that she hates having a convo with you. You need to practice to differentiate between the 2. If she shows you that she doesn’t feel comfortable or doesn’t match your energy, then move on. Quit wasting your time. Being pushy really lowers your value in front of her eyes. Like a guy who keeps texting or double texting even tho there’s no replies from his crush.
If things go well, then escalate -search “escalation” in this sub-. If you’re a beginner, it’s a good sign if she keeps talking while doing her stuff. You will come to the point that you and her will go to the register or go to her car together. Or go straight to her or your house. Or go to a different spot (from grocery shopping to having a cup of coffee). There are even times I’m the one who had to end the convo and told her that I gotta go. On purpose. Especially if she kinda hesitate to continue the convo. Ending it yourself is actually a good frame for you to have, that you’re not desperate. I wrap it up and just give her my # instead of asking for hers (unless she gives me hers, too). Tell her to “feel free to call or text me”. 7 out of 10 she will call or text you within the same day. The strategy to me is a bit better this way. Because approaching a woman is actually lowering your value already. You can come across as needy/desperate. So you need to put it back or amp it up by giving her your name and number, instead of asking her name and her number. She doesn’t call or text you? Good then. It’s always good to find out early on that she’s not interested. Onto the next.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2024-11-29T10:06:32+00:00

It is true that this is a limiting belief, but it's also true that you're right in the sense that you're rather late to the game to receive the maximum dividends from mastering pickup.

Some dividends better than none. Goodluck!

garlopf · 2024-11-29T17:40:25+00:00

Too cold for old approach?

Smitty-TBR2430 · 2024-11-29T07:23:10+00:00

It’s not that you’re too old. You’re never too old.

Your approach SUCKS, is what’s wrong.

First, never tell the woman you’re approaching that she’s “cute”, “beautiful”, or any variation of that. It’s cheesy AF and guaranteed she’s heard it a million times before … especially if she’s close to your age. Which segues to my next point….

Since you’re almost 50, don’t hit on gals that are young enough to be your daughter. Seriously. Don’t. Going after gals 10 years younger than yourself will probably be a waste of time anyway. (You COULD be nailing 20-somethings if your net worth was north of $2M, but then you would not be looking for advice here. Duh.)

Keep up with the self-improvement path you’re on and learn some solid social skills. Learning to confidently speak to people - both men and women - will get you further in life than 98% of the “pick up artist” advice you’ll read in this forum.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-11-29T07:45:14+00:00

Do whatever you want. Just be careful that you aren't deluding yourself. One thing is that you are mature and you are nervous talking to random strange women don't do it.

It works when you're 18-24 but after that You are expected to be socially adjusted.

I"m 50 and I wouldn't hit on girls but I do have funny conversations with girls which make them like me. I have always attracted younger girls to me and not with a lot of effort.

I have never told a girl she's beautiful instead I've segued into conversations and see if the girl is receptive.

I have refined social skills and I'm likeable and charismatic that helps a lot. I don't feel much affinity for women my age unless they look like Shakira or similar.

The way I look at it is you have to look good together.

WildExchange1841 · 2024-11-29T18:59:00+00:00

you are never too old to go for what you want

ArmorAbsMrKrabs · 2024-11-29T19:11:55+00:00

I don't know anybody that old who does cold approach. Oldest guy I know is like 42 or so. I know plenty of guys in their 30s who do it though.

I think you can still do it. I think you should just go for women who are in their 30s or above. Maybe a little bit younger if you can pass for younger. If you look 48 then I wouldn't go below 30s.

You can also lie about your age but I don't really support doing that kind of thing. And if you want something long term I would definitely advise against that.

Successful_Engine191 · 2024-11-30T00:23:18+00:00

I believe it’s about how you clean up and approach, not to be harsh but it seems your approaches listed you lacked warmness and charisma to make them truly consider it. I have an uncle(40-50) who is very popular in his social life. His daughter’s friends(20-30) flirt with him openly and ask if he’s single. He doesn’t try to attract them he’s just fun to be around and party with. how you do that is unique to you and your qualities. Be Well dressed, groomed and starting with enjoyable small talk and subtle flirting is a better recipe for cold approach than compliment~>ask out. Usually for me, based on how the small talk is going I know if it’s even worth asking her out.

GordonGecko69 · 2024-11-30T00:25:38+00:00

Dude! Pump your breaks. And I mean that with all love. You are coming on too strong. Whether networking or dating, looking too needy turns people off.

Sherman140824 · 2024-11-29T09:58:20+00:00

I think it's creepy at any age but youngsters get away with it because in modern society they are always cuddled and treated with leniency. I'm in my mid 40s and have had some women approach me, but it didn't end in a date. I just gave them some recommendations about places to go for dinner and drinks. I am good at offering info but I think sometimes I offer too much info and the attraction becomes lost. Anyway good luck man!

Otherwise-Secret2687 · 2024-11-29T07:47:11+00:00

I am in similar boat. But perhaps a few months ahead. You were in a relationship for long time and have had life experiences that are far deeper than many people. You need a bit of coaching. Sign up for 1-2 coaches (monthly service) and see which one resonates.

Title	Too old for cold approach?
Author	Available_Cut6655
Upvotes	4
Comments	48
Date	November 29, 2024 6:53 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1h2fyxn/too_old_for_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/too-old-for-cold-approach.1537123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537123

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