What i learned

falsoberto · 2023-12-26T04:33:31+00:00

Thanks bro, I needed to read this. Recently went through a breakup, and hooked up with a gorgeous girl. I like her so much, but I can tell she knows Im desperate

ReportBig2296 · 2023-12-26T06:03:17+00:00

The point is not to care. The simple truth is she either likes you or she doesn’t. It rarely has anything to do with your performance. I know you’re asking for feedback for self-improvement. But, girls who are uninterested really do not care enough to give you any constructive criticism. Move on to someone that’s interested in you.

invisible_at_night · 2023-12-26T06:30:14+00:00

How do you stop caring and being desperate?

mister_k1 · 2023-12-26T13:01:15+00:00

6- Ask her why she rejects you in a respectful way

Like she's gonna tell you, that's 100% bs advice

Hovercraft1257 · 2023-12-26T04:11:05+00:00

Agreed
Facts
Spot on
Checkmark

5.6.7.8 all agreed

le_emmentaler · 2023-12-26T07:30:52+00:00

Errmmn, what do you mean by a "annoying nice guy"??

LogicalChart3205 · 2023-12-26T14:14:18+00:00

honestly the simplest and best post i have seen. that's all there is to game. I spent 5 years on learning through books and coaching to realise what you said in one post

veryrare_v3 · 2023-12-26T18:03:54+00:00

Good words man. I think most men struggle with inner game more that anything else. The lack of self confidence is evident nowadays

Hellarepups · 2023-12-26T05:21:33+00:00

My fear is meeting a good one when I suck. I believe they call that ONEITIS though 🤣

zertsetzung · 2023-12-26T23:01:20+00:00

"1.Stop caring so much, women can smell desperation"

Gold

"2. Don't be an annoying nice guy. Don't be a fake asshole."

Unpack that.

"3. Be yourself, if she doesnt like you for who you are, shes not worth any work"

Garbage. If "yourself" sucks, you need to improve.

"5. The more women you try it with the better chances do you have. Women are all different and the more you talk to them the more you will learn. Maybe she already likes a guy. Maybe she has a bad day. Its not always your fault if she rejects you. But remember its also not always her fault."

The rest is solid advice excpet for #7. I would preface #7 by saying that you will know how the game works if you put in the effort to know how it works.

cedarstoic · 2023-12-26T05:15:58+00:00

Past few times ive gotten rejected i’ve asked in a respectful way what it was and they haven’t answered… I move on… but an answer would help me learn. Kinda frustrating. Any tips for getting an answer to why you’ve been rejected?

epimpstyle · 2023-12-26T18:41:23+00:00

The #3 is the reason why the prisons are full...these people do not want to be educated, they prefer to stay as they are...to be themselves.

Regarding #4 - What is a respectful and honest way to tell her, "I want to bang you?"

Regarding #6, when you are rejected, why are you curious about why you are rejected? Can't you just take the rejection and go? There is no need to ask "why"...it looks so cheap.

FlimsyTrash6742 · 2023-12-26T20:40:04+00:00

How to respectfully say “ I don’t want a relationship with you but I want to sleep with you and you only and pay ya bills and keep you happy”

aeroaca9 · 2023-12-27T07:55:31+00:00

I just bury myself in hookers

nintendoborn1 · 2023-12-26T05:41:38+00:00

I think What I need to do is remember this and actually do it. Getting there and doing it is my problem

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-12-26T15:17:03+00:00

This is like 80% of it. Nice summary

lame_birdd · 2023-12-27T05:33:32+00:00

Last year around December, I was going out approaching women. I got one date overall. But I didn't have any good plans for NYE, which has been rather depressing for me. I want to cuddle and kiss during winter time especially in NYE. So that desperation didn't help me, even when I was taking action.

This year I had my experiences with women. I noticed before December that I will get desperate as usual for New year's. But I realised that I'm lagging behind in other areas of my life like mental health, career and finance. This time around I'm trying to focus on myself and care less and less about NYE. This has placed me in a good place mentally. No expectations of getting lucky was the way to go, who knew.

True-Ad8466 · 2023-12-27T02:18:55+00:00

You must work on your personality to get better and better but, only for yourself not to impress others. If you keep your expectations high with you and low from others can be a game changer.

fingin · 2023-12-27T04:30:57+00:00

Asking them why they rejected me is not something I would do willingly. What is the benefit here? I feel like preferences are subjective here and there'a a very good chance of hearing a white lie

FollowThatDamnTrain · 2023-12-27T11:29:40+00:00

1 and 2 ? Sure.

But "be yourself" that's a bit of an overused cliche. It only works if you're already the type of guy that women like. If you're boring and sad "being yourself" doesn't help, you have to change.

Being honest is also kind of slippery statement. You want to hookup, she wants to hookup (not necessarily with you but still). You know that, she knows that. But there's a game with unwritten rules that has to be played. You cannot say things flat out.

AssOfTheSameOldMule · 2023-12-27T14:16:35+00:00

I’m a chick who lurks here for amusement and I approve this message. 👍🏼

DynaThunderr · 2023-12-27T15:35:28+00:00

How would you differentiate between intense desire and desperation?

Quick-Primary-7486 · 2023-12-30T18:55:55+00:00

Thank you for this post bro, I really appreciate it.

All seven points are good, but one, six and seven are my favourites.

I (25m) have finally accepted the fact that I'm a beginner and that I should take "baby steps" in order to improve. Before this, I used to put so much pressure on myself trying to know everything and get pissed off when I failed.

Looking back it was foolish, but that's life I guess.

InstructionAbject763 · 2023-12-27T08:29:23+00:00

As a woman 4 is super important

Loads of guys do the friend thing they're like "here's friendship but I secretly want something else. If you don't give me what u secretly wanted I won't be your friend and it's all your fault too"

So many dudes just don't ask for what they want because they fear rejection

Women will know they were lied to and give him no chances.

Amd he will also never get an honest yes either.

Closed mouths don't get fed.

Dishonest ones get kneed in the face

ArmitageShanks69 · 2024-01-05T18:47:42+00:00

"Stop caring so much..."

You mean 'pretend not to care so much'. You can't just flip a switch and suddenly eradicate your deep-rooted thoughts and emotions. Never in human existence did a woman stop smelling desperation the moment a man decided that he was going to stop caring so much.

InstructionAbject763 · 2024-01-10T23:16:24+00:00

Also, what you try to attract women with is What you feel like you have to offer her or what you assume she wants.

Ie. If you use money that what you think you're worth. Or what you think she wants.

Figure out what you want a woman to like you for.

Ie. Be more romantic if you want a girlfriend

Be flirty etc if you want casual

And use money if you want a sugar baby

Don't attract women with something you think she wants or else you may end up in a situation where she expects something you can't or don't want to provide. (Attention. Money. Being a friendly ear) at that point you can't get mad at her for wanting money or a relationship if you acted like Mr. Romance or money bags.

Set the expectations you want her to expect from you. Don't do things you can't sustain in the future if you want something more than once.

Figure out what you want and go after it. Have standards. Don't settle for what you don't want cuz warm body, man need sex.

Deal with women you like by being the man you want to be seen as and appreciated for. If you wanna be seen as money man. Walk the walk.

Wanna be seen as a Casanova. Walk the walk.

Wanna be seen as a romantic prospect. Then walk the walk.

Don't act like a Casanova if you want a relationship. Don't act like a romantic person if you just want sex. Etc

And learn to appreciate things about you that you actually offer other than what you think women see and like in men (money, height, status)

Assuming all women you interact with only want that will make you miserable

Just like if a woman assumed all men only want sex, she will never be happy with men

Don't let your assumptions and stereotypes of what you assume women want get in your way.

Cuz I see loads of men get shut down and rejected for personality issues. Being unreliable and inconsistent and they say they get rejected cuz of their height or that they don't have a six pack.

Like sir. You ghosted her for a month then gaslit her. Or sir. You kept asking her and bothering her for a number when she was trying to hangout with her friends. Etc.

If you get rejected it doesn't mean you lack the stereotype of what you think women want.

And if you feel like you lack those stereotypes and make it your whole personality. No one's gonna like you

(Talking about the guys on dating apps who just talk about everything they hate about dating and weird jokes about not being 6ft and talking about how they dislike gold diggers) like that's just weird and bad form to put out there constantly.

Just be the person you wanna be seen and liked as, go for what you ACTUALLY want, and don't settle.

That's it

fumbduck2000 · 2024-01-23T02:10:44+00:00

Yeah. Do not care because it signals desperation and makes everything awkward. Also, show a clear romantic interest because a woman asking you on a date happens once or twice in a year. That's all there is to it I think. Also, befriending people, talking to anyone, being charismatic helps as well.

Title	What i learned
Author	siegold
Upvotes	874
Comments	99
Date	December 26, 2023 4:03 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/18qz7la/what_i_learned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-i-learned.1428221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428221

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