When the scarcity mindset is justified

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-11-14T05:35:51+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

hunterpua · 2025-11-13T03:19:54+00:00

Don't fake it til you make it. Actually develop more self-respect.

Behaving like you have abundance ultimately boils down to that.

Never compromise yourself for a woman, always choose someone who will actually treat you right.

Don't wait around for the approval of others to treat yourself with the respect you deserve. Act regardless of other people and always treat yourself with respect.

Thin_Protection5616 · 2025-11-13T03:12:50+00:00

Literally go outside and talk to women.

Do it until it stops becoming scary or anxiety-inducing.

Find guys who are willing to observe you in the field and give you honest feedback.

Few_Competition_1989 · 2025-11-13T09:22:13+00:00

If you don't have an abundance of options right now you need to have an abundance of action taken

Replace enjoying the results of abundance by distracting yourself with the cause of abundance

Because tbh, to your brain, approaching 40 girls and talking to 10 trying to get them on a date is gonna feel the same as having 3 girls on rotation

polocrusader · 2025-11-13T04:48:48+00:00

You get small wins that provide counter evidence that you’re unfuckable. For instance I recently started getting to first base both from day and night game. Getting a kiss isn’t that hard if you read body language and go for it.

I was in the club while travelling and approached a literal 10/10 from my hostel and we danced for 15 seconds. She wrapped her arms around my neck while we danced then put her hand on my chest before leaving. She obviously wasn’t going to fuck me but she appreciated that I was there no? That I’m a confident and attractive man shooting his shot. So this is what you need to focus on. Tell a new story with new excerpts and forget the old story you keep telling yourself.

Discopotatoz · 2025-11-13T14:41:24+00:00

You don't have a scarcity mindset, you have desperation which is the opposite and women can smell it a mile away. This is an inner game/social issue. You can fix this with some tenacity and a willingness to "crash and burn".

My practical advice is to change how you're viewing your interactions with women. Stop thinking "will this be the time I get laid!? I better be on my best behavior and not insult her" etc etc and start just having FUN with them. You bump into a cute girl in the grocery store cereal isle? Have fun with her! Tease her about the brand in her cart. What you want is to make her FEEL GOOD without you obviously WANTING SOMETHING FROM HER. Start with the women you know. Tease your mom (yeah seriously). Wherever you go, act like you own the place.. really believe it. Then focus on having fun with everyone around you. Not everyone will participate but with practice you'll find people will start to be drawn to your energy. THAT is what you bring to a date with a girl, along with complete outcome INDEPENDENCE and your results will change. Also stop all porn and hit the gym. This will help tremendously with the will to approach. You should get to a point where the regret of not talking to a girl is worse than the possible rejection. Tenacity!

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-11-13T03:26:07+00:00

Take action. Really there’s only 2 paths. Start working on it from where your at and start fixing the issues or lay down and rot. Pick one

TMGP19 · 2025-11-13T04:43:02+00:00

You.cant have an abundance mindset if you don't approach/date many women. Once you get to 500-1000 approaches and get some plates/sexual interactions then you can start building a non-needy scarcity-free mindset

Vox_Dissidens · 2025-11-13T09:22:50+00:00

It’s not about whether the scarcity mindset is justified - it’s about whether it is helpful.

It is justified - it is not helpful.

It’s not easy to convince yourself you’re not desperate for something, while simultaneously pursuing that thing, but that is what the wholly inexperienced man must do.

TuxedoPinata · 2025-11-13T22:21:29+00:00

This is the most fundamental question there is around this. Many people here haven’t experienced this so it is hard to get answers.

Anyway the best mindset I have found is what I call the tourist mindset: you visit a bar or a club and you are like a tourist in a country where people go out and meet people and have sexual encounters afterwards. So you are visiting this country and you try to half jokingly do it. The same way you would join a safari in a faraway country. You wouldn’t fall into despair if you didn’t happen to see the rare species of tiger they have over there.

When I go out, I try to remind myself that there are people who just have an easy time with this. Not only that, but over the years, they have taken this natural ability they have and they have refined it. I am a tourist in their land. And sure enough, in my case, I look different, I have different ways of communicating, I could be a different species. So I don’t really have any high expectations from myself. It would be like walking into NASA and expecting to start working on a project they have.

So I don’t know if this helps or not, but it is the only practical solution I have been able to find.

BurtBobain94 · 2025-11-17T23:14:17+00:00

Modern America tries it's hardest to make it impossible for A man to feel secure enough to approach women. Flirting in the workplace gets you fired, approach the wrong women and ur life is forevermore turned upside down thanks to the me too movement. College is the best place to approach young women but really only if you're forming in. Commuters such as myself get largely shut out of all the Social happenings and events that traditionally Happen at universities. My only reasonable options are to approach in class, but that requires balls of steel and social competence with women which I struggle with immensely.

Far_Secret_2710 · 2025-11-13T02:46:29+00:00

In that case there are no easy solutions. Perhaps seek abundance in another aspect of your life, like a craft, or straight wealth (cultural or literal capital). Little wins snowball into an interesting life, which makes for an interesting man, which attracts.

In other words, if you can’t control your love life, you can find other loci of control, and leverage them. But it won’t be easy.

Title	When the scarcity mindset is justified
Author	BurtBobain94
Upvotes	1
Comments	64
Date	November 13, 2025 2:36 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ovpfvo/when_the_scarcity_mindset_is_justified/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-the-scarcity-mindset-is-justified.1566431 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566431

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