I wrote a few comments on my experience dating post divorce and it seemed to garner interest. I thought I’d share my experience and resulting POV.

Except for very rare cases, expect the dating to be extremely transactional. Seems most people, especially women, are not searching for a partner. They are searching for a solution to a problem. The four I have seen that are most prevalent are money, kids, loneliness and revenge.

I am not suggesting to not date or even suggesting to avoid any sort of relationship. Just need to know what you are getting into. If you think in terms of the four categories, be prepared for the following.

If they need money, be prepared to pay for everything. They’ll ask for loans or “help”. They’ll size up your place to move in.

If they need help with kids, you’ll get drug in early. You’ll find yourself watching them even with her there. You see that when she has the kids, she’ll want you around more. When she doesn’t have them, she’ll spend less time with you. Just notice it.

Loneliness is the most stealthy. You’ll notice that your ability to see her is driven by her priorities and her schedule. Your job is to fill the occasional idle time. If you are not at her beck and call, she will get frustrated and gaslight.

Finally revenge. Usually her ex is doing well and she’s looking to one up him. That, or she want’s to prove to everyone that she’s bounced back. This is easiest to see. After two dates, you’ll be all over her social media.

It’s pretty easy to know when you scored a true unicorn. They want to pay and it becomes apparent money is not a driving force. They are really guarded with kids. In fact, meeting kids is a low priority. If they are truly into you, they make time for you. Sure, they have commitments, but they cancel and rearrange and do different things in an effort to see you. Same with social media. Being cautious is a good sign.