Guys, if you are having marital problems and feel divorce is approaching, be very wary of your wife seeking individual counseling.

People don’t understand that a counselor’s obligation is addressing the wife’s mental health. There’s no obligation to you, the marriage, the children, extended family, friends or even her financial well being.

Further, don’t deduct that the divorce happens it was necessary for an ex-wife to become mentally healthy. The typical scenario: wife is unhappy, seeks individual counseling, as a result she wants a divorce, mess ensues, three years later she’s in a better mental state. Therefore, she, you and everyone assumes the divorce resulted in her better mental state. The marriage was the issue. It is so wrong.

The reality- The counselor facilitated allowing her to destroy everything around her as a process of elimination. Simply put, if there’s no one else to blame, the wife needs to look in the mirror. Once she takes accountability, the actual work starts.

Not saying there’s only two choices- ie her being mentally unhealthy in a great life vs. learning to be mentally healthy in a self-inflicted crappy life.

Point of all of this is like anything else, there are good counselors and bad counselors. The good ones help people without collateral damage.