Need advice on a situation

MattHakor · 2026-01-07T08:36:37+00:00

Update Brothers: I did it, I ended it!

Midnight_Cereal_Bowl · 2025-12-30T05:14:06+00:00

Wait what? She's making decisions for how you are going to take care of your parents? And when you can see them. Like, a nursing home curfew?

Dude, nip this in the bud now. Stand your ground, be firm. She does not get to tell you what you are going to do with your parents and she doesn't get to set your schedule. The two of you can respectfully discuss expectations and wishes, but she does not have decision-making authority here.

SRT10_ · 2025-12-30T03:10:27+00:00

Just tell her that's not how it's going to be, sorry and she what she says back.

If she absolutely insists, just say goodbye!

You're too old to be spoken to so disrespectfully like that

Flapique · 2025-12-30T01:40:17+00:00

LOL no calls after 6:00 p.m. what are you 5 years old? as soon as someone said that to me I would laugh so hard in their face 😅

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-12-30T01:26:42+00:00

Get out of there.

Would you give her the same ultimatum if it was the other way round? No, of course you wouldn't.

Get out of there.

Far-Government3551 · 2025-12-30T01:14:10+00:00

Your not wrong you should run. You will regret it later on!

Reflog1791 · 2025-12-30T01:10:00+00:00

Wow she tried bait and switch. You took the bait, let her get her claws in you, and here comes the switcheroo.

I would break up with her. If you give a woman like this your freedom, you are asking for trouble.

Terrible-Mind2633 · 2025-12-30T00:09:36+00:00

Lol maybe its the way you worded things here, I can understand a significant other wanting to discuss options and voicing their opinion in respectful and open manner. But you lost me when she said you’re “allowed” to visit and no calls past 6pm. If it was me I would draw the line in the sand and let pieces fall where they may. She can’t just come in to a situation and decide to change everything and tell you how it is, this is the beginning of a possible trend that will spiral unless you stress test the situation now. Im not saying be rude, overbearing, or mellow dramatic, but simply let her know your concerns and that if anything you can talk about it to see if any sorta middle ground can be reached. If not then you might want to separate sooner than later. Don’t be afraid to have some boundaries and be the leader in that household, I see to many men rolling over for their wives and it’s ruining us.

BahamaDon · 2025-12-29T23:29:05+00:00

She is testing you to see how pussywhipped you are.

AccomplishedTwist831 · 2025-12-29T22:51:58+00:00

Nope. Run.

Run.

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2025-12-29T22:51:00+00:00

This is the beginning of the end. She's demanding to hold your balls for you in a secure location because that way you'll be more controllable.

Proceed with extreme caution or grab your balls and keep them by telling her no and showing her the door.

You set a boundary and she is crossing it in the most vicious, callous way.

Hard pass.

AssistantActive9529 · 2025-12-29T22:33:47+00:00

She’s like my ex. Run ! End the relationship. She wants to control the entire relationship. She will only want her family in the foreground not your family. She can’t afford things on her own that’s why she’s leeching off of you. Get out ASAP!

Coffeecankicker · 2025-12-29T22:15:37+00:00

Tell her they’re paying for the house and see if that changes. If so she’s shit. She’s shit for saying the things she did about controlling your time with them.

Recovering_Asset · 2025-12-29T22:07:42+00:00

Brother, listen to that knot in your stomach. It’s there for a reason.

The 'bait and switch' on the living situation is bad enough. She agreed to one thing, waited until you were emotionally invested, and then changed the deal. That is a negotiation tactic, not a partnership move.

But the 'no talking to them after 6 PM rule? That is clinically insane.

That isn't a boundary. That is isolation. That is a test to see how much control she has over your autonomy.

You said this reminds you of your ex-wife giving you ultimatums? That’s because you are dating your ex-wife in a different body. You are spotting the pattern because you’ve survived it before.

Do not move in with this woman. If you do, you will be back in this sub in two years asking how to divorce her, except this time you’ll have guilt over abandoning your parents.

Trust your gut. It’s the only honest thing in this situation.

MaximumIll7812 · 2025-12-29T22:01:10+00:00

A. That's a WEIRD thing to limit interactions to 6PM

B. Its not exactly the smallest thing to expect someone to be ok with living with their in laws.

Is this a deal breaker for either of you is the question. Is there a common ground here?

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2025-12-29T21:56:53+00:00

If she’s setting hard boundaries it sounds like you need to re-evaluate and set your own boundaries. I get it that a partner and kids come first in a relationship, but controlling your interaction with your parents is a bit of a red flag

dpi2024 · 2025-12-29T21:54:59+00:00

that I'll still be allowed to visit them but it will be against the rules for me to talk to them after 6 pm.

Oh really. I sense a lot of disrespect here if not an outright despise 😆 get yourself ready, this is just a first one in the long sequence of future ultimatums.

Title	Need advice on a situation
Author	MattHakor
Upvotes	7
Comments	38
Date	December 29, 2025 9:41 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pyz3am/need_advice_on_a_situation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-advice-on-a-situation.1569982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569982

Comments