Did I overreact?

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-14T00:43:13+00:00

He was testing the waters. He was floating Netflix and chill by you, and then telling you he wasn’t. That’s called gaslighting.

I don’t think a conversation like that is appropriate to have with a man you haven’t met, hasn’t asked you on a date, etc. It’s presumptuous.

Follow your instincts. Trust them. Thank them!

redbirdflies · 2020-07-14T00:59:07+00:00

He quickly steered the conversation from a casual place to a place where he could attempt to establish fake intimacy, with a nifty little doorway to see if you were on board with ‘Netflix and Chill’

If they haven’t taken you out on a date and gotten to know you personally, these conversations steered into a place where you are casually hanging out are his way of testing your boundaries.

Ladies, learn to pick up on these things: attempt to quickly establish intimacy, love bombing, negging and sexual context. The moment it happens, BLOCK him.

Become ruthless because they are ruthless. Don’t let these fuckboys in. It’s, at best, a waste of your time, at worst, a pathway to an abusive relationship

Block 👏 Their 👏 Asses 👏

Sage_Planter · 2020-07-14T00:46:01+00:00

The comment comes off as a little weird to me. If you felt uncomfortable with his remark, it's fine to block, delete, and move on.

paperbagskirt · 2020-07-14T00:59:31+00:00

Another vote for he was testing the waters.

arwenagon24999 · 2020-07-14T00:44:53+00:00

Oooo I don't think you overreacted, he tried to backtrack and gaslight you bc you slammed the truth back in his face. Bet you if you went along with it, he would've suggested it as a date. Good for you. NEXT.

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-14T00:55:05+00:00

You were discussing the weather, where did watching a movie suddenly come into it?? He was totally referencing Netflix and chill. You’re not overreacting.

_boring_daven_ · 2020-07-14T06:35:56+00:00

He got defensive because that’s exactly what he was alluding to.

geologykitty · 2020-07-14T11:02:40+00:00

The thing is, it doesn't matter if your intuition about it was "right" or "wrong." If you felt uncomfortable, that's what matters.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2020-07-14T05:54:11+00:00

He wants you to think you over reacted. You didn’t. he says movie + relax as if that’s not Netflix and chill and AS IF he is all like “ThaTs NoT WhaT I MeaNt “ a normal response would maybe be to laugh and admit that’s what he had planned, then be like oh can I take you to the theatres to see a film? After a dinner at a place I know near by’ easy peasy. Fuck off this loser for good

Capable_Okra · 2020-07-14T18:56:22+00:00

Ah the old "get defensive and gaslight" response. Regardless of his "intent," do you really want to even entertain a guy whose immediate reaction to you getting upset is to get defensive and tell you you're wrong? Or someone who doesn't feel the need to apologize for anything because "his intentions were good"? Men can do ANYTHING and think it's fine because they will just tell you their intentions were good. I dated this kind of guy and I do not recommend it. Find someone who wants to impress you and feels ashamed when he treads on your toes, not someone who buckles down on his dumb shit and makes you feel like you overreacted.

diflorus · 2020-07-14T15:46:36+00:00

It seemed like such a random connection to make, feeling a breeze and then suddenly bringing up a movie? I think you made the right call.

-positivity- · 2020-07-14T02:27:19+00:00

You may need to manage your emotions better. Deciding to suddenly cut him off and delete the message, then questioning yourself later on does not bode well for you. Wait for a couple of hours or the next day, when you are calm, then do it (cutting off etc). That way, you’ll feel more comfortable and confident with your decision.

StudentNo · 2020-07-14T17:49:00+00:00

Big nope. Trust your intuition - it's normally right.

Howslap · 2020-07-14T02:12:02+00:00

I love watching movies and relaxing to be honest. To me it would have been slightly suspect but not worth ending the chat. HOWEVER the fact that he is STILL trying to contact you makes it clear he was and is STILL really trying to test your boundaries. I have to say sis, your instincts were spot on! I would urge you to keep trusting them. Because my instincts clearly would have lead you astray with this scrote!😂😂😂 Thanks for teaching me something new today!

2020-07-14T01:36:58+00:00

Super obvious he was testing your boundaries to see if you’d do Netflix and chill.

Notice how he said you and me watching a movie? If he just said “watching a movie, just relaxing” then it would be a generic statement that can apply to anyone. He purposely said “you and me” for a reason. Good job on your intuition and dropping him.

LittleMissSoda · 2020-07-14T02:46:54+00:00

Whether or not he was in the wrong it seems like you should take more time off before dating. You shouldn’t be dating if you feel you need to have your guard up. Take some time for yourself and heal.

I also don’t think anyone should be dating during this time because too many things are closed for a man to take you on a proper date where you can you vet him and gauge his interest.

Title	Did I overreact?
Author	Myheyday8
Upvotes	34
Comments	33
Date	July 14, 2020 12:31 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hqrd9p/did_i_overreact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/did-i-overreact.712388 https://theredarchive.com/post/712388

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